The Zombie Combat Manual (34 page)

ES:
He was in town when we saw one of those things roaming the streets. I tried to tell him to get his ass out of there, but goddamn that Manuel, just too much pride in his Mexican blood. He just stepped right up and threw a right cross that you could hear ten blocks away. All it did was pivot that thing ninety degrees sideways. He threw a couple of jabs, another right. No effect. When he started throwing body blows, that’s when it got its arms around Manny’s shoulders. I barely got there in time to kick it away, and caught a thundering left hook to the jaw for my efforts.

By the time I woke up, Manuel was sitting on the curb next to the corpse, its head completely caved in. Manny’s hands were a mess—broken fingers, the flesh on his knuckles peeled back almost to his wrists, and covered with that thing’s slime. He didn’t realize how bad off he was, but I was keeping up with the medical news reports. I took care of him at my place most of the night. Manny was tough. He held out for hours, and turned just before dawn.

Manuel wasn’t the last of my friends to end up on the wrong side of an attack. We took some serious hits, and the dead didn’t discriminate. Kickboxers, jujitsu players, karatekas—whatever your style or the color of your belt, it didn’t matter. That’s when I realized that we needed another sea change. We had to throw out the old book again and take nothing for granted—no weapon, no style, no technique.

Boxing is a good example. All we heard was, “Go for the brain, the skull is the weak link.” What we didn’t realize then, what no one knew, was that whatever happens when you turn into one of those things, the brain isn’t the same any longer. It doesn’t respond to external trauma, like Manny’s right cross, the same way a human would. When a fighter throws a knockout punch, the force of the blow slams the brain against the inside of the skull, causing shock to nerve clusters in the brain stem. Unfortunately, that don’t work so good on the walking dead.

The same reality was true for pretty much every other combat style—everyone experienced a big-time wake-up call. Try to put a rear naked choke on a zombie, you two will stand there until your arms are screaming from lactic acid buildup, that is if you don’t feel teeth sinking into your forearm first. Want to execute a
harai-goshi
on a ghoul? You’ll probably have a chunk taken out of your trapezius before it hits the ground. Pankration, tae kwon do, krav maga—every style and technique needed to be placed under a different lens and evaluated under new physical constraints: those of the living dead. That’s when I started trying to get the right people—senseis, professors, physiologists—together in the same room to talk through what worked and what didn’t from each fighting style.

ZCM: How was that received by your peers?

ES:
They were . . . unenthusiastic, to put it politely. No one wants to hear their baby is ugly, and there isn’t a small amount of ego that goes into leading a fighting style. For a bunch of other instructors to sit around a table and hear that their techniques were worth bunk, well, you can imagine how well that was taken. As time went on, the egos started dissipating as more of us started falling victim. We would hear about this teacher and that teacher not being around anymore, and the students dwindled rapidly. Eventually I was able to get anyone who was left in my circle to come around.

Those were some tough nights. We tried to be as meticulous as possible, breaking down everything we knew about zombie anatomy, physiology, movement, anything that could help us develop a complete defensive style specifically around them. Plus, doing all of this while still trying to just keep our collective asses alive. Things got a lot easier when we all moved into the same western rescue station. We researched and trained furiously, pulling from this art and that. We even interviewed other civilians who were willing to describe some of their personal experiences and then tried to replicate them during training. After what felt like years of training and scribbling, we finally arrived at the foundation of the system you see today.

That’s when we also started trying to let the authorities in on what we were trying to do, and organizing classes in the rescue camp. We even started training the Guardsmen when they were off duty. That’s when some of the senior officials started to pay attention, and got us on a Pave Hawk to visit some of the other stations up the coast. We then made our way east to the other safety nexuses. The rest you already know—we were able to secure some funding through FECDA,
¹⁸
pressed some palms at the new White House, and then set up shop again back here.

ZCM: How realistic is the training to actual combat?

ES:
As real as it can be for the novices while keeping everyone safe, and once you reach a certain level, as real as stepping outside your house and finding one in your front yard. My goal is to not only train anyone who walks through that door, but to get their spouse and kids in here as well. Especially the kids. For guys like you and me, we can only do so much with our creaky old bones. But children, if you get them started early enough, we can build the muscle memory into their systems and give them a psychological edge as well. For the next generation, it’ll be like playing pat-a-cake to them. But I’m getting off track; you asked me how realistic the training is. Why don’t we go into the Advanced Sim room and I’ll show you.

We move into the space adjoining his office. The temperature is markedly colder in here than the other areas of the facility. Simonson guides me to a viewing area encased in Plexiglas and instructs me to stay inside.

ES:
Sorry for the temperature, it’s necessary in here to slow down the rot. This is an advanced room, only open to those whom I’ve personally tested and passed through our initial program, which doesn’t take a long time. One thing we learned from the Israelis is getting people trained and combat-ready fast. We don’t have the luxury of toiling for years before being ready to deal with actual threats.

He picks up a short rattan stick and presses an intercom button on the wall.

ES:
Tim, send in a quartet, please.

Simonson loosens his ponytail, allowing his hair to cascade over his shoulders. An amber warning light flashes as a gate buzzes and slides open on the opposite wall. The room grows silent. Simonson begins rapping the stick methodically against the concrete. A faint moan begins to fill the large chamber. Simonson clips a plug on his nostrils and stretches his limbs as the wail grows louder, joined by several other moans. Suddenly, four ghouls burst forth from the opened gate. They are in varying states of decomposition—one is nearly skeletal, its sex undeterminable. The others—two males and a female—are in a fresher state. The four begin lumbering toward him.

ES:
You can see these trainers are in full battle mode—hands and mouth fully exposed. For those new to this room we’ll start by muzzling them or flex-tying their fingers.

Simonson moves slowly toward the group in a zigzag pattern. His movements seem to confuse the group, which begin to separate and spread across the hall. He takes two bounding steps toward the skeletal zombie and tucks himself into a ball, rolling forward past it and emerging slightly behind the ghoul. Without standing, he sweeps its legs, sending the creature crashing to the floor face first. Simonson is immediately on it and pulls a nylon handcuff from his
gi
pocket. He binds the zombie’s hands behind its back.

ES:
The first thing we teach is evaluating the threat. Of the four, this trainer seemed to be the easiest to handle, given its size, weight, and current state.

He picks the ghoul up and with a single shove sends it careening into another two zombies, causing all three to tumble to the concrete.

ES:
The second thing we teach is assessing engagement. If you can, run. If you just need to carve a path for your escape, knock a few down. Don’t waste your time and energy unnecessarily cracking skulls.

Simonson is on the other two fallen ghouls. He places his foot on the neck of one subject while securing the female corpse and then cuffs the remaining male. The only zombie left untethered is the largest—more than six feet tall. Given the state of decay, it appears to be recently infected and wears green digital-camouflage fatigues.

ES
: The third thing we teach—use what’s between
your
ears before attacking what’s between theirs. The greatest advantage you have is up here
[he taps his head with the stick]
and their greatest disadvantage is here
[he taps the uncuffed ghoul’s head]
. Don’t make the mistake of playing their game. If you grapple with them, you’re playing their game. Play yours.

He circles the ghoul as it lurches out and lunges for him. As he circles, he strikes its skull with pinpoint strikes to the temples, nose, and back of the head. Simonson grabs another stick from a weapon rack and begins striking the zombie’s skull from all angles with both weapons at blinding speed. The strikes echo through the room with the staccato pattern of a marching band’s drumline.

As he spins around the ghoul, it manages to catch a handful of the instructor’s long mane in its fist, pulling his head sideways and knocking him off balance. The ghoul pulls him in close and opens its mouth. Simonson’s sticks clatter to the floor. I’m out of the viewer’s case running toward him when he extends his hand, telling me to stop, and then grabs the creature by the throat. His other hand quickly reaches inside his uniform to reveal a short, hooked blade. Simonson slices the strands of hair clenched in the ghoul’s fist while simultaneously sweeping its legs from under it, sending it rolling to the floor. He flips and cuffs the final zombie and leaves it writhing on the concrete, unable to rise, along with the others.

ES:
Well, that was a bit of excitement, and a fine example of the fourth thing we teach—never, ever underestimate your opponent, even if it’s dead.

Simonson bows slightly to the group of bound, moaning ghouls and begins picking them up off the floor. He forces each one toward the doorway, and cuts their flexible cuffs just before pushing them through the electronic gate, which shuts after the last ghoul has passed through.

ZCM: So, you don’t . . .

ES:
Finish them? No. My students, I leave the decision up to them, but I don’t. First of all, do you know how tough it is to corral these things in the wild? More important, I’m trying to live the true spirit of this style, even in training. Shigai-Jitsu is at its core a pure defensive art. The most important elements are not attacking, not crippling, and certainly not “killing.” They are escape, evasion, and defense. That’s what is most ironic about all that has happened. In a world that’s been turned completely inside out, we have finally been able to develop a style that is the quintessence of martial arts—the art of defensive survival.

We walk back through the dojo and stop to watch a group in session. The class is composed completely of children who look no older than ten.

ES:
The other positive thing that’s come out of all this is a new respect from the younger generation—a generation raised on the misdirected reality of video games and action films. Kids from all over the world thought they could outfight those things, even if all the exercise they got was an hour of P.E. once a week. Their perspective was completely skewed. When you’re able to run, shoot, and swing a weapon all from your gaming chair and your life force resets at the next power-up, what do you expect?

Now everyone understands. Surviving isn’t as easy as it looks, and you’re never as indestructible as you think.

UNCONVENTIONAL ENVIRONMENTS

Combat with the living dead does not occur in a vacuum. In an ideal situation, you will face your undead attacker on a level field on a clear day with an unobstructed line of sight to your target while remaining out of hostile range. Unfortunately, reality will interfere with this model situation more often than not. Weather, terrain, and unique surroundings can dramatically influence your ability to survive an undead combat engagement. Although dozens of environmental variations can be evaluated, we will provide analysis on the most prevalent factors.

Weather

History is filled with examples of the event-altering impact Mother Nature can have on the field of battle. This potential impact is no different when confronting the living dead. Although some weather patterns have a more dramatic effect than others, it is important to keep in mind that strategies and techniques that work during one particular forecast, such as a bright, cloudless summer day, may not perform as effectively in another, such as an overcast, rainy spring evening. Be certain to consider your own weather-related vulnerabilities—for example, those who have severe seasonal allergies need to be dutifully aware that this could affect their ability in combat come springtime and fall.

IUCS researchers have analyzed some common weather patterns in relation to their effect on a zombie confrontation.

Precipitation

Precipitation can both positively and negatively effect a combat engagement with a flesh-eating corpse. The level of impact will largely depend on the severity and type of precipitation. Not only are warfare variables such as speed, mobility, and weapon retention affected by this type of climate, but basic sensory variables such as hearing and the ability to see your undead opponent may be impacted as well. Let’s examine the two most common forms of precipitation that you may encounter during an undead outbreak: