The Zombie Zovels (Book 1): Zombie Suburbia (9 page)

“What happens if one of us gets bitten?”
I stopped. It was the one question I thought about every single day.
“Let's make a deal, if I get bitten you can shoot me in the head and if you get bitten I'll shoot you in
the head. How does that sound?”
“Sounds good to me,” he said.

“We should have risked it,” Lane said.
“No! Will you stop already? That town was like zombie city, we don't have a vehicle, we would
have never made it back out alive.”
“We have no food and hardly any water left.”
“Don't you think I don't know that? That's why we need to keep moving, there's bound to be a house
or a service station or something.”
“Or... just more fucking trees.”
We kept walking and we eventually saw a sign in the distance. I jogged the rest of the way, happy to
put some distance between me and the last town. The sight of zombies walking aimlessly in groups
around every corner. Zombies eating other zombies. A zombie chasing a dog. Ugh! I shuddered.
That town was my worst nightmare.
I slowed down to look at the sign.
Lakewell Science Laboratories
“And what do you think you're going to find in there? A mutated mouse?” Lane said.
“I don't know until I get there.”
“I think we should go back.”
“You can go back if you want. I'm going to keep walking.”
“Toward certain death.”
“Nope, I'm sure certain death was back that way.”
“There's not much else in front... starvation, dehydration.”
“Wow, I'm amazed you can actually say dehydration.”
“Alex,”
“No, Lane, we're walking this way.”
“Why do you always get to make all the decisions?” he asked.
“Because I'm two months older than you and I didn't spend my adolescence smoking weed.”
“We don't even know how far away that place is?”
“Then we better start moving.”
After a few more grunts and grumbles Lane finally gave up on the idea of going back to the town.
We walked for another two hours and I had nearly given up on the idea of finding the Lab before
dark.
“What's that Alex, are you.. are you lost?”
“The sign said it was this way, that's why we're walking this way, and if you hadn't set fire to our
map we would know where we're going.”
“I said I was sorry.”
“You're like a toddler, I can't leave you alone by a campfire for more than two minutes without you
setting something on fire. I'm starting to think you've got pyromania.”
“I was bored! It was an accident.”
“Just don't, I don't want to talk about it anymore.”
“It's starting to get dark,” Lane said. “Do you see that SUV up ahead?”
“Of course, I'm not blind. You don't have to narrate everything.”
“Well, I'm bored. Can we play-”
“No! No more I spy or truth or dare games.”
I lifted my hood up over my head and pulled it as far over as it would go, trying to block him out
for five minutes. Some days we drove each other mad with our constant bickering. I was amazed I
hadn't shot him already.
Lane dragged his shovel along the road and it grated loudly.
“Lane! Seriously!”
He huffed and rested it over his shoulder, and overtook me.
When I reached the SUV, Lane already had most of the doors open checking it out.
As I got closer I had to cover my nose.
“What's that smell?” I asked.
Lane pulled out a plastic bag and held it out at arms length, still trying to look inside it.
“It's this, yeah, I don't think there's anything edible in there anymore.”
“Get rid of it, as far away as possible.”
Lane walked away with the bag and I searched the backseats. The backseat was like a rummage
sale, full of boxes and clothes. As I dug through the clothes I noticed over the seats in the back there
was bedding.
“Anything good?” Lane said, jumping into the front seat.
“Clothes, clothes, and more clothes and a box of teapots. I think whoever owned this previously
brought their whole closet and all of their beloved possessions with them. There's even a photo
album back here.”
“No keys,” Lane grumbled.
“Did you really expect there to be keys? Every vehicle we check never has keys. I don't get it. If the
car doesn't work, why take the keys? Seems pointless.”
Then I remembered Lane still kept his house keys in his bag.
“The hood isn't down properly.”
“Probably because they tried to fix it but gave up and left when they realized it had had it.”
Lane ignored me and climbed back out, leaving me to search through the stuff, I was pleased to find
a few useful items. A few minutes later Lane filled the door and hung inside.
“The battery is gone.”
“They took the battery?”
“No, I think the car broke down and the previous owners left, then someone else came along and
took the battery and a couple of other items from under the hood.”
“So it's not drivable,” I said. “but we can still stay in here tonight. I mean, once the smell has aired
out, we can leave the doors open until it's dark.”
Lane leaned in further to look in the back.
“You think we'll be safe in here?” he asked.
“The windows are all tinted, so the zombies won't see us. They don't chase what they can't see.”
Lane nodded and leaned over me to snout in a box. I moved aside for him and climbed into the back
to inspect the bedroom area. It all looked spotless. As I searched around the pillows my hand found
something hidden inside the pillowcase.
I held it up and waved it in the air to get Lane's attention. “Hey, Lane, look, I found dinner!”
“Is that a
Snickers
bar?”
“Yep, I think someone was being greedy and hid it inside their pillow, then they forgot about it.”
Lane rummaged through the boxes. It was a mixture of both male and female, youngish-style
clothes, with a few pieces of older-style clothing. We both found clean underwear and clean jeans to
replace the ones we wore every day, that were... well, disgusting.
I was lucky enough to find a box of
Tampax
as well, not that I told Lane. There were a few things
we still kept to ourselves.
We sat on the roof of the SUV with our legs dangling over the side, still waiting for the smell to air
out. I browsed through the photo album while I ate my half of the chocolate bar. The previous
owners had been a couple and his mother by the looks of it.
“I don't get why they left behind a bag of food.” I said.
“Maybe they were in a hurry, or maybe they took all they could carry.”
“Maybe,”
“They're probably dead,” he said bluntly.
I laughed.
“You're starting to sound like me,” I said, smiling, looking sideways at him.
“Well, what do you expect? I'm with you 24/7 you're bound to rub off on me.”
Lane's eyes lingered on my lips and I looked away, shutting the photo album. After spending two
months with Lane, I could read him like a book. He touched my hand, I moved it away, and he
sighed.
“No attachments.” he muttered, jumping down from the roof.
“It's for the best, Lane,” I said.
“Whatever!” he said, picking up his shovel and chucking it into the SUV. “C'mon get in,” he said.
I jumped down and put the photo album back, then I walked around to the front of the SUV to use
the bathroom. Lane did the same at the other end of the vehicle.
I climbed into the back and Lane walked around the SUV closing all the doors quietly. It still stank
inside.
Lane climbed over the back and dragged his rucksack over with him, and pulled out his cigarettes.
I gave him a look. He knew what most of my looks meant now.
“What? It might help with the smell in here.”
“Yes, but I don't want to inhale your death fumes.”
In the last house we came across, the previous owner had left a whole stash of smokes behind. I was
annoyed I hadn't located them first, I would have hidden them from Lane. I wanted him to kick the
habit. His coughing drove me nuts sometimes.
Lane grumbled and kicked off his hi-tops (yes the same ones, he refused to give them up, even with
the hole at the bottom that he had patched).
I took off my denim jacket, but left my hoodie on, and removed my boots and jeans. It was nice to
get undressed inside for once. It was still chilly. Inside the car was darker and I fumbled around
reorganizing the bedding.
I didn't care who had slept in it before. I might actually get a good night's sleep for once.
I laid my head on the pillow and tried to get comfy. Lane and I had slept in different places together,
but never under actual bedding and on pillows. We sort of cuddled on top of a rooftop one night.
The smell of smoke wafted up my nose and I buried my face into the pillow. When he had finished
his cigarette and discarded of it outside, he lifted the bedding and climbed in beside me.
We didn't speak to each other, we never did when it was bedtime, we usually ended up fighting.
This was the way we went to bed most nights, (and by bed I mean, tree, the trunk of a car , or
rooftop), in awkward silence.
My body shivered a little and a second later I felt Lane closer to me, his body molded against the
back of mine. His hand slipped around my waist and glided over my stomach.
“Err... Lane, what are you doing?”
“I was trying to warm you up.”
“Okay, but enough with the touchy feely hands all over me.”
He moved his hand back and we lay in the same position for I don't know how long. Lane coughed
a couple of times and I let out a few fed up sighs. Then soon after the heat from Lane's body was
overheating me. I sat up and pulled my hoodie off.
“I thought you were cold?”
“I was, but your body is like a furnace.”
“So you don't want me near you?”
I laid back down and pushed myself back against him.
“Alex, I'm really confused right now.”
“Just shut up and put your arm around me.”
Lane did as he was told and gingerly placed his arm around me again. Keeping his hand on my arm
and away from any of my zones I considered no-go areas.
“Is this okay?” he asked.
“That's fine.”
I fell asleep in the warmth of Lane's arms and inside the temporary safety of the SUV.

A loud thud against the SUV had me awake in seconds. I slowly sat up and felt around beside me.
Lane was gone, and the SUV smelled of cigarette smoke.
“Lane?” I whispered.
“Shh... I'm over here.”
“What was that noise?”
“Zombie. It spotted me.”
“It spotted you inside the SUV?”
“No, I had a smoke in the SUV, then I went outside to take a leak.”
“I swear I'm going to kill you one of these days, you and your late night bathroom trips.”
Another thud against the SUV, this time, it came from the back door where Lane was crouched on
the backseat.
“It was just the one I swear. He'll get bored in a minute and leave.” Lane said, and at that exact
moment, the zombie let out a hair-raising scream.
“It's a newbie, Lane, it's going to alert every other zombie within hearing distance. You forgot to
mention it was a newbie.”
I climbed over the back and landed on top of Lane.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“A little late night zombie killing, you coming?” I asked.
“Are you insane?”
“No, you are, for getting out to take a piss in the middle of the night. That thing is going to attract
more. So unless you want the whole crew turning up I suggest you get off the shovel.” I said,
yanking it up from under him.
Lane grabbed the shovel and pulled it away from me.
“Lane, I'm being serious, we need to kill it.”
“I know. This is my fault. I'll kill this one.”
The zombie let out another shrill scream and I cringed. Lane gripped the shovel in both hands,
looking determined.
“I don't know about this,” I said, crawling over him and into the front.
Every time we came into contact with a zombie Lane's usual reaction was to hide, run (with or
without me) or to push me out of the way, the last time I rolled down a ditch and into a river. Yeah, I
was pissed when that happened.
“You sure?” I asked.
He nodded. “I can do this.”
“Okay, good luck, and don't get killed.”
“Wait, where are you going?” he asked.
“I'm the decoy.”
“Huh?”
“I'm going to jump out, get its attention and it's going to follow me around the SUV, then you climb
out and sneak up behind it. You got that?”
“Uh-huh,” he said, holding the shovel in front of him like it was a flagpole. I reached over and
grabbed my own weapon.
“Just in case,” I said.
I opened the door and quickly checked my surroundings. It was dark, but there didn't appear to be
any other zombies.
I walked around to the hood of the SUV. I was short and the zombie wouldn't see me over the roof.
The zombie was a tall male, wearing a baseball cap on backward. I was amazed it had managed to
keep the cap on but had somehow lost its pants somewhere along the way.
“Hey!” I called.
Its head jerked my way in a weird unnatural motion, then it flopped over to the side, still watching
me as it shuffled along the SUV. I edged around the other side and it speeded up. It wasn't as fast as
a normal newbie, it looked as though it had had a run-in with other zombies. Its sleeves were torn
and shredded, it had a gash on the side of its face, and one of its legs was dragging behind it.
I heard the side door opening.
It's about time.
I thought.
I kept backing away until I reached the back of the SUV and ducked around the side.
Thunk.
“Did you get it?” I asked.
“Yeah, I got it!”
Thunk. Thunk.
Something crashed into the side of the SUV behind me. I shot forward away from whatever was
behind me.
A zombie, of course, another zombie.
It shook its head and looked around confused. It must have bumped its head a little too hard.
I waited for it to turn around, a short female one, with dirty clothes and a T-shirt that had the word
Princess
written across the front.
It took a step toward me, I swung hard, aiming for anywhere in the face region.
The meat cleaver collided with the side of its face and sunk in. It ripped straight through its cheek
and I was mentally gagging at how gruesome it was. The zombie stumbled toward me making a
gurgling sound and I walked backwards, watching as blood trickled down its chin and spluttered out
from its mouth. It tried to reach for me and I swung again, aiming for the face. This time, I used the
scissor side and it had the effect I wanted. One of the scissor points drove straight into one of its
eyes.
“Oh, that's so gross!” I said, pulling my weapon back and quickly moving away, hoping the zombie
would fall to its knees or get confused from the lack of visual sight.
Instead, it came at me again. I used my weapon as a bat and knocked it on the side of the head, it
fell to the ground and I stood on its back and was about to do my usual zombie killing technique...
when I spotted another one, sluggishly moving toward me.
“Crap!”
I got two good swings in, hitting the one on the ground, I didn't know how much damage I had
caused, though. I jumped off the zombie and ran at the overweight zombie that was waddling its
way over to me, (it actually waddled it was so overweight). I was surprised the other zombies hadn't
wanted to eat him.
I swung at its outstretched hand and then at the other, continuously causing damage to each arm
every time it reached for me. Then I took a swing straight down the middle, I could feel one of its
arms brushing against me as it waved them around uncontrollably.
A few seconds later the zombie stopped moving. I had obviously driven the meat cleaver in deep.
I was still trying to dislodge it from its skull when it fell forward and I lost my footing and landed
on the road with the dead fat zombie trapping my legs.
“Eww! Get off! I squealed, horrified it had touched my skin and was now lying across my legs. I
was still only wearing my panties and vest.
I wriggled out from under the dead zombie and saw the previous one dragging itself across the road
toward me.
“You just don't give up,” I said, picking up my weapon.
I walked back over to it and trod on something sharp, but I didn't have time to think about it.
I went to kick the zombie, then realized I wasn't wearing my boots. It gnashed its teeth at my foot
and I quickly jumped back and swung my weapon at its head... again... and again.
I was so busy making sure this one was dead I didn't see the next one until it was too late.
It fell onto my back, trying to grab me, but missed and slipped past me and landed on the ground.
It was another female, dressed in only a bloody white vest and leggings and it had a chain around its
ankle. I was still looking at the chain when another thud against the side of the SUV made me look
over my shoulder. I could see Lane violently attacking something on the ground with his shovel. (At
least he was still alive). I looked back to see the zombie was already back on its feet. It came at me,
rattling the chain along the ground. I swung up and my weapon smacked into its chin. I heard its
teeth smash together. I was positive it would have broken a couple of teeth or, at least, left some
nasty chips. It fell backwards as in slow motion with its arm in the air. I quickly moved around to its
head, keeping away from its outstretched arm that was already trying to reach for me. I lifted
Butchy above my head and went to town on its face. I didn't stop until its legs and arms stopped
jerking around. I took a step back, taking a moment to inspect my legs and arms. I was covered in
zombie blood splatters.
Lane popped his head up from the other side of the SUV.
“There you are,” he said cheerily, as though we were playing hide and seek.
He walked over to me, his eyes only on me, then he noticed the blood and looked at the ground
around my feet.
“What have you been doing?” I asked.
“Killing the zombie.”
“What? The same one?”
“Yeah, I was making sure it was dead.”
“I could have used a little help.”
“I didn't know more had shown up. But it looks like you took care of it, my little Princess Warrior.”
“You're an idiot! Get back in the SUV.”
I stalked away from him and climbed back in, dumping my bloody-drippy weapon on the floor
inside.
I climbed into the back, smearing blood over everything.
I searched around in the dark, trying to find my bag.
Lane was already inside, he leaned over into the back and flicked on his lighter.
“Stop that! Do you want more showing up?”
“Sorry, I was trying to help.”
“Well, that's not helping.” I moaned.
I finally located my bag and found the packet of baby wipes I kept for emergencies. This was an
emergency! I wiped my hands, arms, down my legs, and all over my feet. I felt dirty and unclean. I
also found a piece of glass sticking out the sole of my foot.
“You okay?” Lane asked.
“Not really. You nearly got us killed. Again!” I said angrily. “Crap,”
“What is it?” he asked, concern lacing his voice.
“I got glass in my foot and I trod all over zombie blood
barefoot
. I should have put my boots on.”
“Alex, you weren't to know the whole zombie squad would show up.”
“I should have just left you alone out there and got back in the SUV.”
“That's not very nice.”
“Contracting the flesh-eater virus isn't very nice either, Lane.”
“You're not infected.”
“How would you know? You're not a Doctor, and we won't know until I start showing signs.”
“You weren't bitten.” he said.
“You don't have to be. What are you retarded? They're not vampires, you don't just turn into one of
them from getting bitten. You can contract it through all sorts of things. I thought I already
explained this to you, it's why we don't drink from the river. Do you not listen to anything I tell
you? And now I've got zombie blood in my wound. This is really bad!”
“I'm sorry.”
“You're sorry? I knew this would happen. I knew you'd get me killed someday.”
“You trod on a piece of glass, I didn't exactly stab you with it.”
“Just shut up! Don't talk to me anymore, not unless it's to warn me about another possible zombie
invasion... or you've found another chocolate bar, okay?”
“Okay.” Lane mumbled.
“You can sleep over there.” I said, chucking a pillow at him.