Thea at Sixteen (3 page)

“There's a tone in your voice I haven't liked for a while now,” Nick said. “You came back with it after that summer, Evvie. I've always assumed it has something to do with Sam, some attitude of his you've picked up.”

“It has nothing to do with Sam,” Evvie said. “I went away from home—you sent me away—and while I was gone, I had a chance to see your empire from a different perspective. That's all.”

“There's more to it than that,” Nick said. “There's a hostility, a lack of respect.”

“If you mean that I won't be bulldozed anymore, you're right,” Evvie declared. “No matter how charming you can be.”

“Will the two of you stop it!” Thea said. “Evvie, thank you for defending me, but it isn't necessary. He's right. I told him I'd do the volunteer work and I will. Nicky, Evvie's going to college in three days. You don't want to be angry at her, and Evvie, you don't want to be angry at him, either. There's no reason for anybody to be angry at anybody else. I said I was going to call and I'll do it right now. I hate it when people are mad at each other in this family. I don't even like it when I'm mad at Claire, and she drives me crazy. Please. We're different from other families because we do love each other, and it's stupid when we fight, and I won't have you fighting because of me. So just stop it.”

“Fine,” Evvie said. “I never meant to upset you, Thea.”

“You're right, Thea,” Nick said. “I must have sounded petty to you, and to Evvie. Will you just make that call?”

“Right now,” Thea said, and she ran to the kitchen phone, and dialed the number. She asked for Mrs. Chambers and was put right through. It was hard to remember what she had to say, when she was still shaky from the scene in the living room, but she managed to introduce herself and apologize for having taken so long to call.

“Nonsense,” Mrs. Chambers said. “I've been impatient only because I was so excited that you plan to volunteer. Your father speaks of you so glowingly, I know you must be a remarkable young girl, dedicated to helping others less fortunate than yourself.”

“I don't know how remarkable I am,” Thea said. “Or dedicated. But I would like to try.”

“Do you have any preferences as to where you'd like to work?” Mrs. Chambers asked. “We can use a good volunteer anywhere, so if there's one place in particular, I'm sure we can place you there.”

Thea tried to think what place in a hospital she'd dislike least. The gift shop occurred to her, but she wasn't sure the hospital had one, and besides, it sounded like a cowardly and materialistic refuge. “I don't know,” she said. “I like children. And I do have a couple of younger sisters.”

“Then we'll put you in pediatrics,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Oh, I have a wonderful idea, if you think you're up to it.”

“What's that?” Thea asked. Pediatrics sounded okay to her. Bunches of basically healthy kids getting over asthma attacks and broken legs. She could play with them, read out loud to them. Megs had mentioned teaching as a possible career for her. Volunteer work in a pediatrics ward might be a good start.

“This could be very difficult,” Mrs. Chambers said. “So you don't have to give me an answer right away. I'm sure your instinctive response will be to say yes, because the kind of girl who volunteers to work in a hospital and who loves children will be thinking of them first and not of herself. So even if you agree right now, I won't hold you to it. You can think about it over the weekend, and come in on Monday to talk to me and see if you still want to do it.”

“Do what?” Thea asked. Mrs. Chambers could give Nicky a few lessons in bulldozing.

“The hospital has a special program for its children with cancer,” Mrs. Chambers said. “We're very fortunate to be one of the best cancer-care facilities in the area, and we have children from a hundred-mile radius who stay in the hospital while undergoing treatment for their illnesses. What we like to have is a one-on-one relationship between a volunteer and one of our childhood cancer patients. Naturally there are never enough volunteers, and the work can be emotionally very draining. Have you had any experience with cancer, Thea?”

“Not personally,” Thea said. “I've never been sick with anything much in my life.”

Mrs. Chambers laughed. She sounded like Glinda the Good. “I meant, have you known anyone with cancer?” she said. “Sometimes I get so excited, the words come out all wrong.”

“Oh,” Thea said. “Well, no one in my family.” She thought about it for a moment, and realized one of the true advantages of having attended seven different schools was that she'd run into at least one of everything. There had been Betsy in third grade. She'd worn a stocking cap because her hair had fallen out. And Rob in sixth grade. And last year, what's-her-name, Michelle, who was still undergoing treatments when the school year had ended. “Yes,” she said. “I have known a few kids with cancer in different schools I've gone to.”

“So you would know what to expect,” Mrs. Chambers said. “It can be very lonely for these children, even those who live right here in Briarton. Oh! We have the sweetest little girl here right now, being treated for leukemia. We all love her. Her mother works, so she can only spend limited amounts of time with her daughter, and it would make all of us feel so much better if this little girl had a volunteer friend. We call them Friendly Visitors. You'd almost be a big sister to her. You'd visit with her a couple of times a week, talk about the sorts of things girls love to talk about, not about illness or family problems, but happier things. Do you think you might be interested in helping us that way, Thea? Would you like to be a Friendly Visitor?”

Thea knew she didn't dare say no. Anyone as noble and dedicated as she was, had to say yes, even if she then thought about it over the weekend and changed her mind. Not that she was sure she would change her mind. Being a Friendly Visitor didn't sound any worse than fluffing up some old person's pillow or making change for some doctor in a hurry. “It sounds really interesting,” she said. “Can I come in on Monday and learn all the details?”

“Oh, Thea, you are as nice as I thought you'd be,” Mrs. Chambers declared. “What time shall I expect you on Monday?”

“I'll come straight from school,” Thea said. “Three-fifteen, three-thirty? Is that all right?”

“I'm putting you right down in my calendar,” Mrs. Chambers said. “I can't wait to meet you, Thea. And spend the weekend thinking about being a Friendly Visitor. The pluses are enormous, the gratification is beyond your wildest fantasies. But it can be hard as well, depressing when the treatment isn't going well. So I won't hold you to your yes.”

“Thank you,” Thea said. “I'll see you on Monday, then.”

“Thank you,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Have a nice weekend.”

Thea hung up the phone and wondered what she'd gotten herself into. Mrs. Chambers was about to nominate her for sainthood when all she'd done was what Nicky had told her to do. She wished the idea had been hers to begin with. It felt uncomfortable getting credit for something that had been imposed on her.

Nicky wasn't even in the living room as she walked out, so she went back to the kitchen, poured herself a glass of milk, and cut a slice of the zucchini bread Megs had baked the day before, and carried them up to her bedroom. Evvie was lying on her bed, ignoring the dozens of half-packed boxes that surrounded them both.

“I'm sorry,” Thea said as she sat down on her bed, balancing the milk and bread carefully.

“Sorry about what?” Evvie asked. “Boy that looks good. I'm going to miss Megs's cooking when I go away.”

“Sorry that I made you and Nicky fight,” Thea replied. “Would you like some?”

“Thea, if I want any bread, I'm perfectly capable of getting it for myself,” Evvie said. “You don't have to offer me sacrifices.”

“I didn't mean to,” Thea said. “It's just that it's a big piece and I thought you might like some. That's all.”

“Oh, Thea,” Evvie said with a sigh. “I'm the one who's sorry. You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I know you think you have to protect me sometimes,” Thea said. “I guess I like it that you do. Sometimes I envy Sybil because she has all of us to protect her. You don't have anybody. I mean, I'll protect you, but it's not the same as having a big sister.”

“I don't need protecting,” Evvie said. “And you don't, either, Thea. I stepped in because Nicky drives me crazy sometimes, the way he orders all of us around. He even tries it with Claire, and Claire never does what you order her to do, so he's crazy to approach her that way. But that's how Nicky is sometimes. Crazy.”

“I wish you wouldn't talk that way about him,” Thea said. She took a large bite of bread, and washed it down with milk. “Nicky isn't at all crazy. And you have to admit he loves us.”

“Oh, yeah,” Evvie said. “I admit that, all right.”

“Then why do you sound that way?” Thea asked. “Like you know Nicky loves us but you don't really believe it.”

“Because things aren't as easy as you want them to be,” Evvie replied. “Thea, I love you, but the only person I've ever heard you say anything bad about is Claire, and Claire drives you so crazy it's amazing you haven't tried to murder her.”

“I don't understand,” Thea said. “What's wrong with not saying bad things?”

“Nothing,” Evvie said. “But weren't you angry at Nicky just now? He did force you into something you didn't want to do.”

“I know it seems that way,” Thea replied. “But he's right about the family and how we all have to help out. And he's right about you, too. You never used to talk to him the way you did today. But ever since you met Sam, you've had a different attitude about Nicky. Claire and Sybil have noticed it, too, and frankly, I don't think it sets that great an example for them. Especially Claire. What is it about Sam that made you change the way you feel about Nicky?”

“It has nothing to do with Sam,” Evvie said. “At least not the way you think it does. But I'm not going into gory details now.”

“I don't know what I think,” Thea said, gulping down the rest of the bread and milk. “And I don't know what you mean. Except I liked it better when you didn't pick fights with Nicky. And that's just what you did today, Evvie. You picked a fight with him for no reason whatsoever.”

“I thought there was a reason,” Evvie said. “He was bossing you around and I didn't like it.”

“So you bossed me around instead,” Thea declared. “You acted like I couldn't be trusted to handle myself with him.”

“Well, you can't,” Evvie replied. “You always give in, Thea. You always do exactly what Nicky tells you to do. Sometimes I think it would be better if you were more like Claire.”

“I never want to be like her,” Thea said, surprised at how angry Evvie was making her. “The only person Claire loves is herself. I love everybody in this family.”

“That's not true about Claire, and anyway, it's beside the point,” Evvie said. “I worry sometimes that you don't give yourself a chance to be happy, especially when you think that what you want might upset Nicky. Megs, too, for that matter. Or even me, offering me that damn slice of bread when it was obvious how hungry you were. Thea, you're never going to get what you want out of life if you keep giving things up to make everybody else happy. That's all. I want you to be happy. I want you to eat your own stupid slice of bread. I want you to stand up to Nicky if he volunteers you for something you don't want to do, and then gets angry at you for not doing what he volunteered you for in the first place.”

“Fine,” Thea said. “I promise you I'll do everything to make me happy, even if it breaks everybody else's heart. When you come home from college, you'll find a second Claire in this house. We'll see how much you like it then.”

“One Claire is enough,” Evvie said. “As is one happy Thea.”

But I am happy, Thea protested silently. How can I not be happy when I come from a family I love so much? Only there was no point in telling Evvie that. She was leaving the family. Or maybe she had already left it, left it the day she fell in love with Sam.

No matter what changes happen in my life, Thea promised herself, I'll keep on loving Nicky and Megs, and Evvie, and Sybil, and even Claire. Her heart was big enough for all of them, and she was going to do whatever she could to see to it that they were always happy. That would make her happy, so they were all even.

C
HAPTER
T
HREE

“Come in, Thea. What a beautiful girl you are.”

Thea entered Mrs. Chambers's office and was amused to see that Mrs. Chambers actually looked like Glinda the Good. She smiled and sat down on a chair next to Mrs. Chambers's desk.

“You must look like your mother,” Mrs. Chambers declared. “Your father's coloring is so dark.”

“I do,” Thea replied. “My sister Claire is the only one who really looks like my father.”

“Four daughters,” Mrs. Chambers said. “I always wanted to have a sister. I have two brothers, both older than me. I never lacked for protection, but there was no one to share secrets with.”

Thea thought about Evvie, who'd been gone for just over twenty-four hours and who she already fiercely missed.

“My oldest sister, Evvie, started college yesterday,” Thea said. “We shared everything. She's at Harvard.”

“Harvard,” Mrs. Chambers said. “Well, isn't that impressive. Your family must be bright as well as beautiful.”

“Evvie certainly is,” Thea replied. “I'm going to miss her so much. That's one reason why the Friendly Visitor program sounded so interesting to me. It's a chance for me to do something so I won't think of Evvie quite so much.”