Their New Beginning (Oh Captain, My Captain #5) (2 page)

Jax

She wants space, away from me and from our marriage. Maybe it will be good for us. It could be a chance away from one another to focus on what we can do to repair us. I mull over Avery’s words one more time. I run over all my memories of the past six months and my shoulders sag in defeat. She’s right. I’ve put her second, something that seemed impossible until right this moment. Over the summer, when we could have spent a lot of time together without worrying about my job, I put all of my focus on hockey.

We didn’t make the playoffs and the pressure, mostly from myself, got to me. I spent my summer in the gym or in the rink. Even this morning, I automatically chose my teammates first when I didn’t have to. What’s done is done though. Avery can go on vacation, which she deserves anyway, and once she returns, hockey will come second as much as possible. I love my wife more than anything, and I don’t want to lose her.

Avery stormed off into our bedroom, so I walk that way. I can hear her in the bathroom, probably getting ready to take a shower. The door is cracked, just enough that I can see her grabbing some fresh towels. I push it open a little more and alert her to my presence.

“Do you want me to call my travel agent to arrange things for you? Where are you going to go anyway?”

She glances over her shoulder at me, and I can see the debate in her mind. “Somewhere warm,” she finally replies. “Thanks.”

I nod, moving to stand in front of her. “I’ll give her a call then.” As I cup her face, I continue, “I have to get back to the rink for tonight. Things will get better, I promise. I love you.” My lips meet hers for a soft, gentle kiss for only a few moments before I pull away.

“I love you too, Jax,” she whispers.

I kiss her one more time before leaving. Hearing those words is just enough to make me feel better about things and our future.

When I arrive at the arena, the usual pre-game excitement I’ve felt for as long as I’ve played isn’t quite the same. If my job, my career, what I love to do, truly is a serious threat to me not making my wife as happy as possible, could I give that up? I’d find a way to do it for her if she asked and if it would keep me from losing her. I don’t think things are that bad though. At least, I don’t think it’s my job specifically.

Our marriage was fine and Avery never minded my job. The problem is that I’m not making time for her because I’m too focused on my job. Right? That’s what she said. All I have to do is treat Avery like she’s my wife and put her first, before hockey.

The thrum of excitement builds again now that I’ve cleared my head. We’re playing the Indiana Mustangs tonight and if I had to choose a favorite team to play against, aside from Ashton’s, it would be them. It’s obvious why I love playing against Ashton Campbell. He’s been my best friend since college and is the captain of our rivals, the Utah Bears. With the Mustangs, it always feels like they are playing with the most determination, and that makes it more fun.

Once we’re on the ice and the game gets underway, I do the second thing I do best: run my mouth. It’s all good-natured most of the time, but according to Ashton, I have a way of doing it to irritate every last one of them. That thought makes me smile.

“Hey, Ross, are you sure you don’t want to retire and play golf instead?”

After I score, I say, “I give hockey lessons in my free time. Maybe you should consider signing up.”

Things get heated when they tie the game up in the third. I start spitting out whatever comes to mind. When I piss off Brody Ross, their captain, by crossing the line and mentioning his girlfriend, I can’t help grinning as he shoves me hard into the boards while his stick moves between my legs as he tries to hit the puck out from where I’ve jammed it between my skate and the wall. I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend. That’s all I need because a teammate comes up next to me and I quickly pass it to him. I score seconds later on a rebound, giving us a lead.

We play hard and it shows on the scoreboard at the end of the night. If only fixing my marriage came with a playbook, I could follow it and come out on the winning side of that as well.

~ ~ ~

Things seem to have slightly improved since Avery booked her trip. She seems excited and ready to go. We’ve said I love you a little more and I kiss her before either of us leaves the house. The one night I come home and didn’t immediately want to go to bed, but instead wanted to have sex with my wife, I come home to a note.

She picked up an extra shift at work.

She’s leaving for her trip to Turks and Caicos today and I offered to take her and Jasmine to the airport. I have practice this morning, but will be done in time to take her. This feels like
the
moment to show her that I can step away from my job to do something for her and that’s exactly what I plan to do. Surely, nothing can prevent me from taking my wife to the airport, right?

Fucking wrong.

Coach calls a meeting after practice. I send Avery a quick message that I’m running late, but not to leave. I can still take her. My knee bounces as I try to listen to what the coach says and keep my eye on the clock. The minutes tick by until we’re finally dismissed. I’m forty-five minutes late; when I finally check my messages, there’s one from Avery.

Avery: Figures.

I text her again, to let her know I’m on my way and not to leave. Hopefully, she’s not too pissed at me. I’m still going to be able to take her like I said; I’m just a little late. I’ve pulled into the driveway when I get another text.

Avery: Too late. We called a taxi. See you when we get back if you can actually make it to the airport to pick us up. Either way, let’s just not talk until my trip is over, okay? Bye, Jax.

Shit! This is not how today was supposed to go. And it sure as hell wasn’t supposed to end with not being able to talk to my wife while she’s on vacation. I feel like shit and at this point, I can’t say I blame her. She could have waited a bit longer though. I told her I was coming; she didn’t have to call a fucking taxi. I try calling her, not to give her an apology she probably doesn’t want, but just to say to have a safe trip, have fun, and I love her.

She sends me straight to her voicemail.

The only way to fix this is to make sure I’m waiting at the airport when she comes home. Without any hesitation, I make the necessary phone calls to ensure I have the entire day off. Avery will enjoy herself on vacation, hopefully lose a bit of anger, and I’ll make it up to her when she returns. I’ll spend that entire day with her, showing her how much I missed her, how much I love her, and how much she means to me. I just have to wait.

Avery

This is our last day in Turks and Caicos. I have spent the last five days on the beach, drinking or crying. I feel horrible for Jasmine because this is supposed to be her vacation too, and I’m doing nothing but keeping her down.

Right now, I’m lying on a massage table, trying to enjoy the rub down I’m receiving and all I can think is that I miss Jax. On the other hand, I’m so damn mad at him, I could break all his hockey sticks. He promised he would take me to the airport. He gave me his word that he would be there for me. Just like everything else, he failed.

I really am the second love in his life.

Can I even say love?

Sure, he tells me, but he doesn’t show it anymore. It’s not just about the gifts or the wooing he did in the beginning. I want him to ask me about my day and actually care about it. I want him to make time for me. I want a date night that doesn’t involve a hockey event or charity ball.

“You’re all done, Mrs. Godwin.” The nice girl pulls the towel up around my back.

“Thank you.” I smile at her, sitting up on the table.

She leaves the room and I go behind the screen and get dressed. I check my phone again, but still nothing from Jax. I thought he would at least try, but I guess he’s too busy. After I’m dressed, I head back up to the room, where Jasmine is waiting for me at the door. She jerks on my arm, pulling me into the room.

“The hotel has a nice spa,” I tell her.

“I don’t care. Here.” She throws a white dress bag at me. “Get dressed. We’re having a girls’ night.”

“Oh, I don’t feel like it.” I shake my head, laying the bag on the bed. “We have an early flight.”

“No.” Jasmine bangs her hand on the dresser. “You have done nothing but mope this whole time; you owe me this.”

I sigh. She’s right. I do owe her this. I’ve ruined her vacation. I give in and nod, taking the dress and going to the bathroom. I don’t even look at the dress, but knowing Jasmine, it’s going to be short and more revealing than I would pick.

But what the hell? Why not? I should totally have fun my last night here before I head back to the reality that is Jax Godwin, Vegas Gamblers, and work.

After an hour of showering, shaving, priming, and layering on the makeup, I look at myself in the mirror. The dress is a mid-thigh pink cocktail dress with soft beading around the top of the bust line. I leave my hair down in my natural wavy mess.

I wish Jax was here with me. This would’ve been something I would have worn for his eyes only. I grab my phone, take a quick selfie showing myself in the dress, and send it to him. I don’t say anything in it, just the picture.

A minute later:

Jax: See you in the morning.

That’s it? Not even a ‘you look hot’ or anything.

“Avery, come on.” Jasmine pounds on the door, and I’m more than ready to spend the night with my girl.

The bar is packed. Apparently, there is some big wedding going on, and the after party is being held here. We’re finally able to find two empty stools at the very end of the bar and quickly rush to them.

“Two tequila sunrises,” Jasmine orders for us and turns to me. “So, have you figured out what you’re going to do when you get home?”

I shake my head. “I don’t know yet. I guess I’ll talk to him, but I don’t think it’s going to do any good.” I feel deflated.

“Do you want to file for divorce?”

I stare at my dear friend. I’ve known her since I started working at the hospital. I’ve said my whole life that when I got married, it would be once and only once. I never wanted to be a divorcée. Now, I’m actually considering it.

“I don’t know.” I’m thankful the drinks come. I down mine like a shot and order another one.

”What do you think Jax is thinking?”

I shrug. “I don’t know anymore. We’ve barely talked to each other over the last six months. I mean, the past week hasn’t been too bad, but he went back on his word to take us to the airport.”

“Avery, you’re my girl, but have you thought about it from his side?”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s under a lot of pressure. I mean, he’s the captain of a professional hockey team. All eyes are on him. Look at how bad it was for him last year when they didn’t make the playoffs. Every paper mocked him. Now, this year, he’s at the top of his game and is still under a microscope. Let’s not forget his contract is almost up, too. No team wants a failed captain.”

I rub my temples. I know she’s right. Jax had a rough season last year. He worked so hard over the summer, but at what cost?

Me.

“Let’s talk about something else,” I beg.

“Fine.” Jasmine gives me a small smile and launches into a new doctor crush she has at the hospital.

The drinks keep flowing, and my bubbly laughter starts. My head is beginning to feel fuzzy after two very strong drinks, and I know that I need to stop. The deejay starts up on the other side of the bar, and a cute guy comes and asks Jasmine for a dance. She flips her long blonde hair behind her shoulder, in the way only she can make sexy, and sways her hips to the dance floor with the stranger.

My head is thumping with the music, and I watch as the crowd becomes thicker. I’m pushed hard into the bar as someone is shoved into me.

“I’m so sorry,” the guy quickly apologizes in his thick British accent.

“It’s fine.” I adjust myself back onto the chair.

“No, really. I tripped. I have two left feet.” He smiles at me. He has short strawberry blond hair and deep blue eyes. He isn’t bad looking, but not really my type.

I nod, not replying.

“Let’s me buy you a drink, please.” He waves down the bartender.

“No, thank you. I’ve had enough for the evening.”

“Then a bottle of water?” he keeps on.

Water? That can’t hurt anything. I slightly nod my head, and his smile widens. It’s a harmless drink, right?

“I take from your accent you’re not from here.” His face is still bright.

“No, I’m from Vegas,” I confirm.

“Vegas? Oh, the stories I could tell you,” he chuckles.

“I’m sure I’ve heard them all,” I giggle.

“I’m Rob.” He sticks his hand out.

“Avery.” I softly shake it.

“Married?” he points to my left hand.

I look down at my platinum band. I rarely wear my engagement ring because it’s so large. I think Jax bought the biggest one imaginable.

“Yes,” I confirm.

“Is he here?”

I shake my head. “I’m here with my best friend.”

There’s relief on his face. “Girl time.”

I nod again. The bartender comes over, and Rob orders two bottles of waters. I look at the dance floor and Jasmine is all over the hot guy. I shake my head.

Rob begins to tell me that he’s unattached and is here for the massive wedding. I guess it’s some hotshot power couple in England, but I’d never heard of them. Rob also tells me that he’s a businessman in London.

I hate to say it, but I could have listened to him read the phone book with that accent. What is it with American girls and that accent that makes us weak in the knees? I tell him I’m a nurse and how I grew up in Vegas, but there isn’t much to tell after that.

“What about your husband?”

“He plays professional hockey.” I don’t usually say his name. In fact, not a lot of people know what Jax does. I don’t want the attention.

“Ice hockey? Wow, that’s interesting.”

“I guess.”

Jasmine slides in between us. “You okay?”

“I’m fine. Are you?”

“I’m going to have some fun, but I’ll be back before we leave in the morning.” She kisses my cheek and is off with the hot guy.

I smile at her carefree spirit. “I think I’m going to turn in. I have an early flight,” I tell Rob.

“Let me walk you to your room.”

I shake my head. “No, thank you.”

“Please. It’s the gentleman thing to do.”

I give in and nod. I follow his lead out of the bar and into the lobby. We head over to the elevators.

“Eight,” I tell him as we walk in. We ride in silence to my floor, and I step off first. I stroll down the quiet hall until I reach my door. “Thanks again.” I smile at him.

“I hate to be so forward, but I can’t image a beautiful woman like you on vacation with your husband at home.”

Beautiful? There’s a word I haven’t heard used on me in a very long time.

“Thanks. My husband was busy. That’s why he didn’t come.” That isn’t a complete lie.

He steps closer to me and touches my cheek. I stop breathing. Rob’s skin is soft on mine. Not like Jax’s rough hockey hands.

“I really want to kiss you,” he whispers, and I can smell the bourbon on his breath.

“I’m married,” I whisper.

“He isn’t here, is he? He let his stunning wife go on a vacation all alone because he was too busy.”

My heart is pounding at his words as he leans closer. My head is screaming how wrong this is, but my six-month sexless hormones are screaming ‘yes’. My head is fuzzy, and I can’t move.

His eyes remain open, locked onto mine as our lips touch. I close mine and relish in his tender kiss. He caresses my face as I open my mouth wider. Rob moans and drops his hands to my hips, pulling me closer to him.

My last thought as I open the door to my hotel room is that Rob thinks I’m beautiful, and Jax didn’t respond.

~ ~ ~

When Rob leaves an hour later, the reality finally sets in. I’m standing in the shower, holding onto the walls, bawling.

I cheated on Jax.

I ruined our marriage.

I begin to scrub my skin. I don’t want that bourbon smell on me. My skin is red when I step out of the shower. My stomach is turning over and over until I finally throw up all the food and alcohol in my stomach.

Jax.

How am I ever going to face Jax?

What am I going to say?

He’ll never forgive me. I know that he won’t be able to. I’ve violated every ounce of trust he gave me.

I brush my teeth, and go lay on the sofa.

“Well, I think I’m in love,” Jasmine announces as she comes into the room. “Oh my God.” She rushes over to me, kneeling next to me. “What happened to you?”

“Oh God.” My head falls on her shoulder and she wraps her arms around me.

“Avery, tell me right now what’s wrong?” she orders.

“I ruined everything.”

Jasmine pulls back. “Did Jax call or something?” She looks over the room and sees my sheets and bed askew. “Oh no. No, no, no.” Her face is in horror. “You didn’t?”

I cover my face with my hands and sob loudly.

“Oh, Avery.” She holds me tighter and tries to soothe my shaking body.

I don’t know how long I cry. It could’ve been six hours or six minutes, but I’m finally able to compose myself. Jasmine jumps up, kicks off her heels, and runs to the bathroom. She comes back with a clean washcloth and wipes my face. She’s been crying, too.

“Jax is going to kill me.” My voice cracks.

Jasmine’s blue eyes are wide with a mix of emotions.

“I can’t believe I did this,” I sniffle.

“Avery,” her mouth is open but nothing comes out.

“I know. I don’t know what to do. What do I do, Jasmine?”

She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I truly don’t know. Why did you?”

I jump up from the sofa and pace the room. “I had those drinks, and my head was fuzzy. He said I was beautiful, and Jax didn’t. I haven’t had sex in six months, and my own husband hasn’t touched me.” I continue my rambling, circling the room. I stop and turn to Jasmine. “What am I going to do?”