Theirs (15 page)

When put like that she did seem silly for making them wait so long. “I think I blew it.
You should have heard Cash. He was so angry with me.”

“So what does your grandmother have to do with all this?”

“When Cash called me to cancel their trip this weekend, he mentioned my grandmother. He then asked me if I could come down there this weekend.”

“And why didn’t you? I’ve been telling you for months to take some time off. How much time do you have banked anyways?”

“I have a
bout 360 hours of PTO owed to me
according to my last paystub.”

“Holy shit, girl, that’s a month’s worth of time off. You could easily take off a couple weeks if you wanted to. My question is why aren’t you packed already and on the road?”

“Because I’m a big stinking coward, that’s why.”

“Do you still resent your grandmother, even though she sort of apologized in her
letter
to you?”

Alex sighed. “
Yes and no. Her letter was so vague that it didn’t really tell me anything other than the fact that she regrets how she treated me and that she owes me an explanation. Maybe I’m being petty but when I think about how she treated me I can’t imagine what she could possibly say to make it right.”

“So what I told you about my father didn
’t resonate?”

“Yes and no. I said
I would see her, eventually.”

“Eventually? The woman just had a stroke. How much longer do you think you have to make up your mind?
This doesn’t make any sense. I’m beginning to think this has nothing to do with your grandmother at all.”

Alex hung her head. “Of course it does, for eighteen years, that woman made me feel worthless. You can’t just expect me to run to her just because she snaps her fingers. Besides, she has Cash and Rusty at her beck and call.”

“Do you resent that they’ve maintained a relationship with her despite the way she treated you?”

“I did when I was younger but I could see that she acted differently around them than she did when it was just her and
me
. She actually loved them and
they
loved
her
back
. How could I blame them when their own mother wasn’
t particularly affectionate toward them? The only time that woman seemed to take an interest in her son was when she felt they were disgracing the Bradford name. But my grandmother gave them the maternal love they had were starved for. Anyway, Cash and Rusty were
kind
of a buffer between me and my grandmother. She never said a cross word to me in front of them, so I actually appreciated their presence when it came to her.”

“Okay, if that’s not the problem, I can’t really figure out why you’re being so contrary
. I don’t see why you asked
me
to
come over if you’re not going to be forthcoming.”

Alex took a deep breath and mumbled, “Because I’m scared.”

Georgia leaned closer. “What? I didn’t quite catch that.”

“I’m said I’m scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of not being strong enough. I’m scared that when I go back to Bradfordville I’ll walk down the street and people
will
stare at
us
and whisper behind our backs and just make life unpleasant in general.”

“So
wha
t? Who the hell cares
about a bunch of randoms?”

She sighed. “Because Bradfordville is a small town people will talk. When I started dating them some months back, we went to a festival I was holding hands with them. We were getting a lot of curious looks and I told myself that no one’s else’s opinion matters.
I kissed Cash and Rusty and I noticed these two girls watching us. One of them said something and while I pretended I didn’t care, it really got to me. Whenever we’ve gone out in public people sometimes whisper. I can ignore them for the most part because this is a big city. I won’t ever see most of those people again. But Bradfordville is different. I’d see the same people over and over again, some of whom tormented me when I was younger. I’m scared that it will all eventually get to me and worse yet, Cash and Rusty might start listening to what people have to say. They might start listening to the whispers and start believing that I’m not good enough for them. Maybe they’ll deny it at first but then they’ll come to resent me. I don’t think I could stand that. In my
head
,
I was thinking that once I see my grandmother and we make some sort of peace
I’ll have no excuse not to move back to Bradfordville. That’s why I’ve been putting off seeing her.”

Alex hung her head in shame for being such a coward. “Well? Are you going to say something?” She asked her friend who remained silent.

“I’m not really sure what I can say. Sounds to me like your men may be better off without you.”

Alex jerked her head up and looked at her friend. “What?”

Georgia shrugged. “You’re willing to allow your insecurities to get the better of you without so much as putting up
a
fight
for the men your supposedly love. I didn’t stutter the first time but I’ll say it again. They’re better off without you. I’d give my left tit for a man who’s willing to do anything for me the way Cash and Rusty have for you. And here you are blowing something really special.
I can’t believe you’re even sitting here instead of getting your ass off the couch, packing up and heading out of town.”

Once Alex had said the words out loud, she realized how silly she had been. Hearing Georgia confirm that finally helped Alex see the light. “I’ve been an idiot.”

“Damn right you have. So now what are you going to do to fix it.”

Alex hopped off the couch. I’m going to do what I should have don
e hours ago. I’m going to pack.”

Chapter Fourteen

“How are you feeling today, Miss Ida Mae?” Rusty asked taking the older woman’
s hand in his and he
took the seat next to her hospital bed. Last night had been particularly harrowing with him and Cash not knowing how serious her condition was. Thankfully they’d sorted out the HIPPA regulation issues once they had a talk with the hospital director. Being able to get updates on Miss Ida Mae’s condition had helped him and Cash through a stressful night.

Rusty and Cash had both been relieved to learn that the older woman had suffered a mild stroke and all her vitals were looking good.
Of course
,
the doctors still needed to run some more tests and there
c
ould still be possible side effect
s
, but it looked like she w
ould
make it. The best news was when they had been informed that Miss Ida Mae was awake. She was of course still in a state of disorientation but it was a good sign that she had opened her eyes. He and Cash had taken turns sitting by her bedside.

Cash had run home to take a shower and catch a quick nap. Rusty had just walked back into the hospital room when he saw the old lady awake. He smiled at her even though on the inside he was worried. Her hand felt limp as if she didn’t have the strength to squeeze his back.

“Rusty?” She sounded like it was difficult to get the word out.

“Yes, it’s me.”

“Am I…at the…hospital?”

“Yes. You had a stroke but the doctors are taking very good care of you. You’re very lucky that one of the nurses at the home found you right away or else the outcome could have been much worse. But you don’t have to talk. You should be resting.”

“I can rest when I’m dead. Where’s Cash?”

“He ran home to get a couple hours of sleep but he’ll be back.”

Her lips twitched as if she was attempting to smile yet her lips didn’t seem to cooperate. “Feel…so…weak, like the devil’s sitting on my chest.”

“You’re probably still feeling the effects of the stroke which is why you need to rest. Go back to sleep, I won’t go anywhere.” He patted her on the hand.

“You’re a good, boy Rusty. You and Cash, always looking out for me.”

“That’s because you’ve been there for us since we were babies.”

Neither one of them spoke for several moments. Miss Ida Mae closed her eyes and Rusty assumed she had gone back to sleep, but soon she reopened her eyes. “Does
Dalvin
know I’m here?”

Dalvin was her son who had lef
t Bradfordville after graduating
high school and rarely returned. He was some big shot attorney on the west coast a perfect trophy wife and two mild-mannered children. He had left town before Rusty was born so he had only met
Dalvin
a couple times, and only because Miss Ida Mae brought him to their house. She had been so proud of her prodigal son who seemed ashamed that his mother still worked as a housekeeper. Rusty had thought the guy to be a pompous ass but he would never say it lest he upset the woman who was more of a mother to him than his own.

“We couldn’t get in contact with him at first so we left a message. When he called back, he sent his regrets. Unfortunately, he’s in the middle of a big case that he can’t get away from at the moment but he wanted us to keep him posted. He sent tha
t bouquet of flowers over there.
” Rusty pointed to the obscenely large flower arrangement on the other side of the room.
Personally
he thought it was a bit ostentation but Rusty bit his tongue. It was bad enough that the guy couldn’t be bothered to visit his own mother when she was in the hospital but to send that monstrosity was beyond tacky. It looked more like funeral flowers rather than something that said get well.

“Well, my Dalvin is a busy man. I understand why he can’t get away. He remembers to send me pictures of the girls. That’s so thoughtful of him.”

Rusty bit his tongue. He loved this woman like family but he hated how she went on about that ungrateful bastard who never lifted a finger to help his mother. For someone who acted ashamed of her humble profession,
Dalvin
didn’t do a single thing to help his Miss Ida Mae out financially or at least not to his knowledge. If it were his mother, he would make sure she was well taken care of but the responsibility had fallen on Cash and Rusty. It did bother Rusty that this woman seemed to revere her son but had shunned her own granddaughter. Growing up, he didn’t know about her contentious relationship with Alex, until it was too late. He honestly couldn’t blame Alex for not showing up, although he wished she would have come for his and Cash’s sake.

When Cash had told him about his conversation with Alex, he wanted to drive up to see her right away and sort things out but then decided against it. He was
tired
from
trying to convince her
to
trust in their love. She claimed that she did, but he noticed her uncertainty whenever they were out in public and someone stared at them a little too long. He also realized she’d change the topic whenever he mentioned her coming down for a visit or getting that closure with his grandmother. It was becoming obvious to him that she wasn’t even considering their future.

He and Cash were still fully prepared to give her the time she needed to adjust to the idea of them all living together. But how could they make things worse when she didn’t actually give the idea a fair chance.
Rusty loved her from the depth of his being but when he talked to her again, he was going to make his feelings clear.

Miss Ida Mae must have read his mind because her next question was, “What about Alexandra? Did you tell her?”

What was he supposed to say to that? Did he tell this woman that her granddaughter simply didn’t want to see her? “She uh…she couldn’t make it.”

“Oh.” There seemed to be
real
disappointment in the old lady’s eyes. Part of him empathized with her. He understood the woman’s need to make amends with the grandchild she’d done wrong but he also saw Alex’s point of view. Forgiveness didn’t exactly come easy for everyone.

“You should probably get some rest now.”

“Can’t sleep with all this equipment hooked up to me.” She was silent for a few moments before speaking again. “I don’t deserve to see her.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m so ashamed of the way I treated her.”

Rusty squeezed her hand. “Don’t work yourself up over it. We can talk about it later.” To his surprise, a tear slid down the side of her face. “Please don’t cry.”

“I did you all wrong. I shouldn’t….shouldn’t have sent her away.”

“Please calm down. You’re not doing yourself any favors.”

“I’ll never see her again, and it’s all my fault.”

Rusty noticed the heart monitor starting to peak. “You’re going to need to
calm
down or else you’ll make yourself sick. I’ll go get the doctor.” He released her hand and stood up. When he opened the door to walk out, standing on the other side, was Alex.

Alex drove all night to make it here. She’d only stopped to use the restroom and to get a refill on her coffee. When she saw the sign for Bradfordville, she tensed, expecting all the bad memories that had haunted her since her departure to come crashing back to her. Instead, she felt nothing as she drove through her town. It was barely recognizable. Cash and Rusty had mentioned that the town had practically been rebuilt but she didn’t expect it to such an extent. Some of the old structures she’d been familiar with were gone
only
to be replaced
by
office buildings. A megachurch was in place of the tiny house of worship that used to be there.