TheOneandOnly (15 page)

“Where do I sign?”

Aiden gave her a suspicious look. She raised her shoulders.
“I told him not to do this. He won’t listen to me either.”

“He’s always been a stubborn son of a gun, but he usually
has more sense when it comes to money,” Aiden bemoaned while Sean signed his
portion of the papers. “It was nice meeting you and I certainly hope I see you
again.”

The double meaning behind his statement wasn’t lost on
Michelle. “You too.” She considered reassuring him, but what was the point?
Only time would make it clear she wasn’t a gold-digger.

Once back in the car, Sean turned to Michelle. “Thank you
for humoring me. I hope Aiden didn’t upset you with his nervous-Nelly routine.”

“I’m glad he’s watching out for you.”

“It’s good to have that done. There’s one last thing. Are
you on the Pill?”

Egads, he wasn’t going to like the answer. “When I remember
to take them.”

“Okay, I’ll take that as a no. That won’t work, Michelle. If
we decide to stop using condoms then I need to know you’re going to take the Pill
regularly. I’d someday like to have kids, but not right now.”

“I’m years away from wanting kids, but since I wasn’t having
sex, it wasn’t a high priority. Plus there never seemed a good time to take
them.”

“Think about it. Now that you’re down to school and the club,
maybe taking it at dinner every day would work. Otherwise we can talk to a
doctor about other ways.”

“I had a physical a few months ago, just before school
started, and everything came back fine. I haven’t been with anyone since. I’ll
start taking the Pill more regularly.”

“Religiously, Michelle—not more regularly. And I had a
checkup last month and everything was fine too.”

“No worries. I’ll set the alarm on my phone or something.” She
laughed nervously, not wanting to even think about getting pregnant.

Sean reached over and held her hand. “I want us to work on
opening the lines of communication. Yesterday you started talking to me but I
know it wasn’t easy for you. I have an idea that might help. Every night over
dinner I want you to share one thing. Preferably a fantasy or idea you want to
try, but until that comes naturally, we can start with a scene you’ve read
about. It can be one you liked or one you had problems with. Are you willing to
do that?” He pulled her hand up and gave it a kiss.

“You’re killing me,” Michelle whined. “Every night?”

“Every night we’re alone. If we have dinner with other
people, it can wait until we have some privacy.” He glanced at her and smiled.

When he looked at her like that it was impossible to deny
him. “Okay.”

“Thank you. We’ll start tonight.” He pulled into the parking
lot of a local eatery. “Are you hungry?”

“I was,” she joked.

He grabbed her chin and kissed her quickly. “Don’t start
that. You’re eating and you’re gonna talk to me. That’s an order.”

“Yes Sir.” She watched him flinch and he dropped his hands.

“Don’t call me that, Michelle. I’m not some guy you met at
the club to party for a night with. I want to be much more than that. You
aren’t one of many and I don’t want to be either. When you’re ready I want to
be your Master. Until then, Sean will do. I’ve never let a sub call me by my
first name. Just you.”

Ooh, she’d hit a nerve. “I’m sorry, Sean. I was only kidding
around. You mean a lot more to me than that.”

He kissed her on the cheek, then came around and opened her
door. As they walked in, she saw the hostess give Sean an up-and-down glance,
but at least she didn’t greet him by name. A waitress quickly seated them and
asked what they’d like to drink. Sean gave an order for both of them.

Michelle handed him her menu, trusting him to pick out
something for her. The smile he gave her wet her panties. It was crazy how affected
she was by Sean. While he scanned the menu, she tried to think of a scene from
a story she could talk to him about. She shied away from the ones that
interested her. It was too embarrassing to talk about those.

After he gave their order, she snuggled under his arm.

“Okay, subbie, it’s time to start talking.”

She smiled, feeling a little better now that she had one
ready. “This one guy had his partner naked and bound to a beam in the middle of
a club. He was using a whip on her and calling her a pain slut. That scene
bothered me on so many levels.”

When she looked up at Sean, she relaxed a little more. He
was never judgmental. It had to be a scene he’d watched, if not fulfilled
himself many times and yet he never scoffed. He just listened.

“I know I’m in the minority, but nudity in public—” She
shook her head. “I’m not cool with that. Especially since it was just her. The
guy was completely dressed.”

“That’s a little bit of role differentiation. The Dom has
the power, the sub has none—which is a crock.” Sean pulled away and looked her
in the eye. “You realize that, don’t you, Michelle? The sub is the one with the
real power. If the Dom was worth a shit, the entire scene was planned to meet
the needs and desires of the submissive. You asked me last night what I liked.
Well, I enjoy this. Talking with you, finding out what makes you excited,
learning what makes you tremble and then planning a scene that will take you
higher than you’ve ever imagined. Whips, canes, wax, fire, paddles, plugs, even
humiliation—they’re all just a means to an end.”

“Thank you, Sean.”

He pulled her back under his shoulder. “So the nudity could
be nothing more than symbolism or he could be trying to improve a low
self-esteem or body-image issue. Or he could just be showing her off. What did
it sound like in the book?”

“The story wasn’t about them, so I have no idea. Sean, it
wouldn’t matter if I had the body of my dreams. I wouldn’t want to be exposed
like that.”

“I hear you, and you do have the body of my dreams.”

The waitress brought their meals. He’d ordered her a grilled
Thai beef salad and he was eating a tilapia filet over rice. She’d had some
concerns when he’d ordered it, but it was surprisingly delicious. “This is good.”
She pointed to her plate.

“I’m glad you like it. I figured since we had a heavier
breakfast we might want a lighter dinner.”

“Perfect.” He seemed to read her mind, or maybe he just
listened well.

“Tell me what else bothered you about that scene.”

She looked at him then back down at her plate. “Whips and
canes are supposed to really hurt. I don’t think I would like that level of
pain.”

“I don’t think you would either, but that wasn’t what you were
going to say. What crossed your mind before you decided to wimp out on me?” He
put a teasing tone into his voice.

Michelle smiled and blushed. “You’re very good at reading me.”
She took a few more bites of her dinner. “I’m not sure I like that.”

Sean put his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. “Sure
you do. Now stop stalling and tell me.”

“The pain-slut part bothers me. It’s derogatory and
hurtful.”

“And?”

And she wasn’t ever going to voice her real fear, so he
could just stop looking at her. She shook her head no and ate her dinner.

“The word slut is sometimes used as a pet name in the
lifestyle.”

“I looked it up, thinking maybe there was a definition I
wasn’t aware of. Nope, none of them are nice.” Phew, she’d dodged that bullet.

They finished their dinner in silence. He paid the check and
they walked out to his car. Instead of opening her door, he invaded her
personal space. With her back against the car, he blocked her in with his arms.
“I’m still waiting for you to tell me.”

Michelle leaned forward and rested her forehead on his
shoulder and bit her lip, debating what to say. “Can’t we let it go?”

“I need you to talk to me. What are you afraid of?” His
voice was alternating between Dom Sean and teddy-bear Sean.

He kissed her cheek and wrapped his arms around her, further
depleting her defenses. “I’m afraid you’ll confirm my worst fear.”

“Why would you think you’re a slut, Michelle? We’ve been
attracted to each other for months. Yes, our relationship moved fast,
supersonic by some standards, and yet glacially slow by others. Who cares? They’re
our lives and we’ll live them the way we want.”

Michelle looked at his handsome face, relieved he’d
misunderstood. “You’re right. It doesn’t matter.”

He met her gaze and began shaking his head. “You’re in
trouble, subbie. A lie of omission is still a lie. You weren’t worried about
being called a slut. You’re worried about being called a pain slut and you were
going to let me believe otherwise. We can’t have that.” He dropped his hands
and stepped away.

She wasn’t sure what to do. Michelle wanted to reach out to
him, but didn’t know how he would react. He was right. She had purposefully
misled him. “I’m sorry. It just hit a little too close to home and I didn’t
want to voice my concern and breathe any more life into it.”

Sean leaned in and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear.
“Better.” He unlocked the door and held it open for her.

Once he had the car moving, he took her hand. “I can’t have
that, Michelle. In my book, that was the same as a lie. I’ve had the opportunity
to mislead you and I didn’t. I took the hit and came clean. I expect the same
thing from you.”

“You’re right, Sean, I’m sorry. I should have told you. I
wasn’t ready to talk about it and took the easy way out.” She didn’t like the
distance between them and knowing she’d put it there by being silly made her
angry with herself.

“Okay, don’t do it again. That’s a hard limit for me. I
won’t have lies between us.”

“Got it.” She stole one of his lines, hoping he’d smile.
Damn, he was really upset. “I wanted pain and pleasure to be opposites for me
and the lines seem to be blurring. It’s messing with my head.”

“Why was that so hard for you?”

His voice was back to probing and she sighed in relief. “Compared
to you being disappointed in me, I guess it wasn’t. I was afraid you’d say
there was nothing wrong with being a pain slut and basically confirm that I am
one.”

“We talked about this a little bit yesterday and I know it’s
a hot button for you. Did you understand what I was telling you last night?”

“Yes but understanding how it works doesn’t change my
perception of it. It would have been easier if they’d stayed on opposite ends
of the continuum.”

“You’re going to hear the phrase ‘pain slut’ at the club,
Michelle. You need to keep in mind it’s consensual. The tops know how that
phrase will affect their bottoms, and are using it for a pleasurable outcome.”

“I didn’t hear it being bantered about on Saturday, but
honestly, I was trying to mind my own business and fill drink orders.” Michelle
didn’t want to know what went on in the rest of the club. She wanted to stay in
her little corner and keep to herself.

“Tell me how you wish the scene would have gone.”

She was so wrapped up in her concerns with the club that it
took a few moments for her to understand what he was talking about. “The scene
in the book? I wish they’d been alone and that he’d used a flogger, not a whip,
and he hadn’t been a jerk and called her names.” She couldn’t believe all that
came rushing out of her mouth. Goodness, she needed an off button.

Sean raised an eyebrow and kissed her hand. “I can see that.
I need you to understand two things. First, what happens in the club is
consensual, and the second is what happens between you and me will not only be
consensual, but exactly what we decide it’ll be. BDSM isn’t one-size-fits-all.
Every couple has to figure out what it will look like for them. If you never
want to feel a whip along your skin, you won’t. It’s that simple. I think that
level of pain is well beyond what you’d find pleasurable. If it were something
you wanted to experience, we could probably work you up to that level, but what
would be the point? The philosophy ‘if a little is good then a lot is better’ doesn’t
work in this genre.”

As they pulled around to the back of the club, Michelle
decided to share one more fear that went hand in hand with this one. “I’m a
little intimidated by your experience and the fact that you own this place. I
feel like because it’s your club you enjoy and want to do everything that goes
on here.”

“Michelle, I can’t change my past and I’m grateful I know
many ways to pleasure you. I’m about to show you one that I think we’ll both
enjoy a great deal. Don’t worry about what others do here. We will both decide
what we do together. Each of us has veto power. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Sean led her into his office. “Do your bathroom business,
undress and then present for me here.” He threw a pillow from the couch onto
the floor.

As he went into the closet, Michelle walked into the
restroom, not entirely sure what was happening. The couch didn’t look big
enough and since he had such an aversion to the floor, she couldn’t imagine
what he had planned. When she came back into his office, she noticed he was at
his desk going through a gym bag. He must have two—one he kept here and one he
kept at home. Such a Boy Scout—ready at a moment’s notice.

When Michelle went to the pillow and kneeled, a whole flock
of butterflies were set loose in her tummy. The image of Stella kneeling for
Sean, she realized, no longer haunted her. Sean had set that to rest.

“So beautiful, Michelle.” Sean sat on the couch and ran his
hand down her cheek. “Thank you.”

She wasn’t sure what to do with her hands or where to look.
In the books she’d read, the girls all looked the ground so she tried that.

“Look at me, Michelle. I want to see your eyes—they’re so
expressive. Some Doms want their subs to stay subservient and keep a downcast
gaze. I don’t want that from you.” He ran his thumb along her bottom lip.
“There’s that smile I love to see. Are you ready for this?”