These Starcrossed Lives of Ours (10 page)

I always carried a knife with me after the cult had ambushed me in the streets. Unleashing it from my pocket I ran to Miracle’s side, hoping that she wouldn’t kill me in the midst of what I was about to do.

I was barely tall enough, and stretching out to reach the halter took everything I had, but I somehow managed it. Using the jagged edge of my knife I hacked through the nylon, not caring if my hands went numb or ached. After a ridiculously long time it gave way and Miracle came crashing down to all four legs, gasping for air, but free.

It wasn’t long before the mare turned on me. Cornering me in the back of the stall with no way to reach the door, the mare looked at me head on. “Christie!” Ian shouted and he made way to come in but I quickly barked out, “Don’t move!”

He froze. Miracle didn’t sway, only looked at me with those black eyes full of rage and confusion. I could see that she wasn’t all black...there was a tiny white marking on her forehead, a white spot that was in the shape of a miniature cross. Trembling, I lifted my right hand slowly to cover the cross upon her head, rubbing the area up and down gently, all while cooing to her, “It’s alright Miracle, it’s alright...you’re safe now, settle down...”

She froze in place. I kept petting her, glancing to Ian’s panicked eyes. Finally she relaxed, dropping her head and putting her ears up as I continued to talk to her.             

Ian was speechless. He looked at me, dumbstruck, while I continued to tame the beast. Slowly I inched to the door of the stall and the mare followed me, turning on her hindquarters until we were both facing the door. I slipped out of the stall and she continued to watch me, her ears attentive, eyes now with a little bit of light in them.

Once I was outside the doorway Ian quickly locked it and sucked me into his arms, squeezing all the life out of me. “Are. You. Crazy?” he hissed, his head buried into my hair.

“No,” I wheezed out. “I’m insane. That’s a lot worse.” Ian continued squeezing me until I lost my balance and we both fell over backwards into a pile of hay. He let me go, shaking his head at my actions.

“That was stupid Christie,” he said, looking up at the ceiling. “That was really, really dumb.”

“She didn’t deserve to die,” I said in protest, lying next to him. “She’s never gotten a chance. I had to give her that.”

“No horse is worth your life,” Ian said. “You have no idea how scared I was just now.”

“I’ve been in a lot worse situations,” I said.

“Not with me there!” He turned to look at me. “Christie, if that horse had hurt you do you have any idea how horrible I would feel?”

Guilt would’ve crept in if I’d had let it, but I pushed it away. “I had to save her. All my life I’ve had this feeling of helplessness and in there...I actually did something that made me feel like I had control. I could help determine if that mare lived or died. You don’t know what that means to me.”

“Can’t you find a safer way of being in control?” he growled. “Honestly Christie, you’re always putting yourself in the most compromising situations. Every time you’re in danger I feel like I have...I
want
...to save you, and now I could do nothing but watch. That made
me
feel helpless.”

I snapped a piece of hay in half. “Well I guess I’m going to have to do dangerous stuff when you’re not around, then.”

Ian started laughing, a nervous type of laughter, but at least it eased the tension. “Come here you,” he said, and he started tickling me so hard that I squealed, rolling in the hay to try and get away from him but failing miserably.

“Okay, stop,” I said, pushing him away from me. “You’re going to make me bust a gut.”

“Just be lucky that Miracle didn’t break your ribs,” he said, lying back down.

“You still on that?”

“I will remind you of it as much as I can, so you avoid endangering yourself in future endeavors.”

“Reverse psychology. That just makes me want to be more reckless,” I said.

He sighed. I turned on my side and asked, “Why did you leave this house? It’s obvious you loved it here. Why not stay?”

“I would still be living here, but given my age I felt that I was required to move away,” Ian scowled. “I’m twenty four and I have a good job. I can’t live with my parents forever. I’ve to make my own way in the world.”

“I haven’t lived with my mother since I was sixteen,” I said, observing the old barn. “Been living on my own since then.”

“Well I hope this place can become a home for you,” he said. “My mother would like you to know you’re welcome here anytime you wish, day or night.”

“Tell her thank you for that, though hopefully I won’t need to take her up on that offer.”

“Keep doing stuff like what you did with the horse, and you will.”

“Okay! I get it!”

He chuckled before a unhappy frown settled on his face, and it lingered there. “Even if I wasn’t expected to move out, I don’t think I could stay here anyway, not after
she
left,” he whispered.

“She?” I sat up. There was a girl in the picture?

“My sister,” Ian said with a sad smile. “Ophelia.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” I said, surprised.

“You wore her skates this afternoon,” he said, sitting down. “She was just your size.”

“Where is she?”

“She ran away.” Ian looked away from me, towards Rebel. “It was about six years ago. She was dating this one...creep,” he spat out the word. “And the next thing we knew she wasn’t the same. She stopped going to church and we never saw her because she was gone all the time. We came home one day to find a note on the table. We looked everywhere but it was useless. She had run off with him. We haven’t heard from her since.”

“Do you know where she is?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Nobody does, and even if we did find her we can’t force her to come home. She’s over eighteen now and can legally make her own decisions.”

“Do you think she’ll ever come back?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine why anyone would leave this place...couldn’t understand why anyone would
want
to.

Ian shrugged. “I’m not sure. She’s probably changed in the years that have passed. She probably doesn’t even remember me.”

“How could she forget you?” I said. I was unable to imagine anyone ever forgetting Ian.

“I don’t know. I never forgot her. After I got out of high school, things were okay for a couple months. Boring, but okay. Then when Lia...that was what we used to call my sister...went missing, everything just...stopped. Life ceased to exist for me, even though the world kept moving.”

He looked like he was about to cry. Putting my hand on his, I clenched it tightly and said, “I’m so sorry Ian.”

“I miss her everyday,” he said wistfully. “Part of me just wants to know what happened to her, even just to know if she’s dead or not. I know it sounds terrible, but I just need to know. When she left, I couldn’t stand it. That’s when the drinking and the partying started.”

“But you’re over that now, right?” I said. “You’re better?”

He turned to look at me and smiled. “Yes. Because of you.”

We got to our feet and he said, “The moon’s out. We’d better get in and gather round for another Rosenthal tradition.”

“Oh? What’s that?” I asked in amusement.

“Drinking hot chocolate by the fire while telling stories. They get better every year. I can’t wait to tell my parents the new one about you and Miracle,” he beamed. “And we’d better brush off the hay. They’re liable to think we were doing something we shouldn’t,” he said, winking.

I blushed and he laughed, turning towards the door. As he opened it the moonlight sparkled down on Miracle’s stall. She hadn’t stopped watching me since I had slipped away from her.

Ian

The drive home was really quiet that Christmas night. Not an uncomfortable quiet, but a quiet between Christie and I that hinted we enjoyed each other’s company. Her eyes were starting to droop in the passenger’s seat, and I turned the radio down. This had been the best Christmas yet, ever since Lia...

I sighed. I can’t believe I had told her about my sister. I never told anyone about that. And what had happened with Miracle was nothing short of crazy. I wasn’t sure if Christine was brave or dumb.

Or maybe she just had a big heart. A compassionate heart, one bigger than I’d realized.

My love for her only grew, but I tried to ignore the tender feelings. Christie had made her intentions clear weeks ago. She liked me only as a friend, and it was going to stay that way.

That didn’t stop anything. The staring too long, the dire need to protect her, and the stupid dreams I had of her every night. I wish I could cut my heart out and throw it away. It was pure torture, living with her and spending every free moment of my life with her, knowing she’d never love me back. But it was the sweetest torture I’d ever known.

A small snore sounded from Christie and I suppressed a laugh. Lia, Christie...why did I love more than anything the two girls who were insistent on breaking my heart?

Chapter Seven

Christine

When the New Year began all hope to find the boy was lost. There was a memorial service for him, and after that his name was then lost on the lips of the townspeople. “They have nothing to go on, Christie,” Ian told me. “Unless the cops find something, and it’s doubtful they will, we all need to try and move on.”

“Will you?” I asked, knowing the answer. “Would you, if that was your child?”

“I would never give up. If my word’s not good enough, take Lia. I never stopped searching for her, not until my dad took me aside and told me that it wasn’t healthy, that I was going to lose my mind if I kept looking for her. But he was right...I can’t stop living. Unless there’s a new development for either of them we have to go on as if...” Ian turned away from me.

Life continued on as normal as humanely possible, crossing into the paths of boredom. I did my best to save up my money until I finally had enough cash in March to buy my own car. It was a junker, and it sucked gas like no tomorrow, but having my own vehicle was well worth the pain at the repair shop and at the pump. I avoided driving it unless I absolutely had to, focusing my next goal on one thing...moving out. The apartments down the street had rent for six hundred a month, and I wasn’t there yet but sooner or later, I was going to be.

I avoided breaking the news to Ian. He was enjoying my company more and more, and although it was getting harder to think about leaving everyday I knew that was the exact reason why I had to. Ian was like a brother to me. An annoying, talkative, too adoring and way too protective older brother, and I was getting too close to him. I didn’t do close relationships. The people I had loved in the past had either gotten hurt because of me, or by me. Ian would too. I knew that for a fact.

The weather was getting warmer. I chose to take a brisk walk just to get some air. Ian would’ve come with me but his allergies were killing him. I suggested he stay home until he got some medication. I was passing by the bar on the street when I glimpsed a familiar face. I skidded to a stop even though my feet should’ve kept on moving, and even though I knew that there was nothing waiting for me in the bar but agony, I was stupid enough to go in there anyway.

The air was so thick with cigarette smoke that I was surprised anyone could see. It was a cramped place, with a pool table and chairs packed so tightly together that you had to maneuver around each one like a maze. It was packed with big burly men and biker chicks who I should’ve been afraid of, but wasn’t. They were nothing compared to my nightmares.

And then there, slumped over the wooden bar with drool coming out of his mouth, his legs flailing to support him, was Landon. I wasn’t sure how long he’d been there but his face was so sallow and sunken, it appeared he was drowning.

He had to have drunk half the bar. An empty shot glass sat in front of him and a beer was tipped over, spilling on his shoe. Even from here I could smell the urine and booze.

“Another. Please,” he begged the bartender, who ignored him. As the man turned his back on Landon he slammed his fist down and exclaimed, “I’m paying! Give me more!”

“It’s not even five, son. You’ve had too much to drink. Go home.” The man moved to talk to a waiter and Landon seemed to shrink, his head falling onto the counter in defeat.

He started to crumple to his feet. “Landon,” I said, rushing forward and grabbing him. He was heavy...I could barely support his weight. “Landon, wake up!”

I placed him gently on the ground and he came around slowly, his tongue slurring around my name. “Christie?” he asked, looking at the ceiling.

“Landon,” I said, tears coming to my eyes. “What happened to you?”

Landon started sobbing as he coughed out words. “What hasn’t happened to me? Everything’s ruined. I’ve lost my mind!”

“Landon, you need help,” I said.  Surely this bar had a phone...I needed Ian. I needed him right now. “Let me take you back to my apartment. You can rest there and...”

“The hell for all the good it’ll do!” he shouted, and several people looked our way. “I’m done for no matter where you take me! Just get me back to Ann Arbor!”

“What’s going on? Just tell me Landon!” I said, falling to my knees and cradling his head in my arms. “Maybe we can work something out.”

“You couldn’t work anything out with her when you were there. I can’t either.” He sniffed and it didn’t take me a minute to guess whom he was talking about. “But you had it easy compared to what she’s having me do. If I mess up once, just once...”

“Landon, leave her!” I said loudly. “It’s not worth it! She’s using you!”

“I don’t care,” he said, and he started shaking his head over and over again. “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care!”

“Well I do!” I said sharply. “Now get on your feet, you drunk!”

With no small effort I wrenched Landon to an upright position. “Start walking,” I said. “We’re getting you out of here.”

He did so, tripping over his own feet. I decided to drag him, my muscles straining against his weight. No one bothered to ask if I needed help. Few even bothered to watch.

As we neared the door Landon suddenly broke into maniacal, uncontrollable laughter. “What’s so funny?” I hissed, struggling to breathe.

He continued laughing, and his eyes got even more mad than I was used to. “Everyone’s too scared to do it. I’m the only one brave enough,” he said. “They’re muttering that I’m crazy but when they’re all dead and Annabelle’s with me they’ll be the crazy ones for not doing what she said.”

“What does she have you doing?” I asked.

“Something dangerous,” he said, eyes popping out of his head. “And once it’s done and over with Annabelle will be in love with me forever. When I do this perfectly she’ll take me back, I know it. Ha ha...”

He was spouting nonsense. “Take you back?” I grunted, finally getting him out the door and into the fresh air.

Being outside seemed to do him some good. He gained more coordination and the weight on me lessened. “When you left she started dating me,” he said nostalgically. “But then she broke up with me after I messed up the job the last time. Now I know better. I’ll do better this time.” He smiled crookedly.

Typical Annabelle, to run out and find a replacement when her toy went missing. His words hurt me more than he could possibly realize, but as far as Landon knew I was over her long ago. By this point in my life it had become easy to act like she meant nothing to me. I opened the door of my car and shoved him in, buckling him in halfhazardly and then cruising down the road at a speed that was prohibited by all those who drove in Manchester.

“I’ll take you to the mall but no further,” I said. “You’re going to have to walk back to her, if you’re really that dumb.”

“You’re a true friend, Christie,” he hummed. Any minute now he would pass out.

“Stay awake!” I barked, punching him in the shoulder. My efforts were useless. He was sleeping.

Driving to Ann Arbor cost me more gas money than I would’ve liked but I owed Landon for getting me out of the cult in the first place. He finally woke up about twenty minutes later, his head banging against my window. People in Ann Arbor didn’t know how to drive, and it was nearing rush hour which meant pandemonium for all who chanced driving in the city. My fingers tapped the steering wheel with impatience at every stop. The lights here would have you sitting forever for no reason, and the longer it took the more worried Ian would get. I didn’t want him calling the cops to look for me so I made sure to floor it and cut a few people off on my way to the mall in true Ann Arbor driving style.

“End of the line,” I said as I stopped at the mall. “Get out.”

Landon opened the door and tumbled out of it. I sighed as he got to his feet. “You got enough money left for a bus ticket?”

He hiccuped and nodded his head. “Just enough. Thanks again Christie. I owe you one.”

“If you really owe me one then you’ll do me a favor and get away from Annabelle,” I said. “Look what she’s doing to you.”

Landon backed away from the car, that crazy smile on his face again as he spread his arms out wide. “That’s where you’re wrong, Christie. With her, I’m everything. Without her...well, I’m nothing.”