These Starcrossed Lives of Ours (9 page)

“That’s just something people say when they want to get something but don’t ask because they want to seem nice. Now open it,” I chuckled.

He did, and when he saw what was laying in the box, he went silent. Lying within the box was a heavily padded quilt that had taken me many tedious hours and many panicked seconds trying to find a place to hide it while Ian was coming home from church. I had put in overtime when Ian was sleeping to hand sew the edges and appliqué the cross that was stitched into the middle. His two favorite colors, navy blue and hunter green, made the blocks. Lying on top of the quilt was the picture frame I had bought, with a photo of the two of us that he had taken on the carriage ride.

Ian didn’t do anything but stare. I began inwardly panicking...he hated it. I knew he did. Even his parents were speechless. I would’ve been fine with disappointment, but not this. Red with embarrassment, I looked at the present and asked, “Too much?”

“No,” Ian said. “It’s perfect.”

The fear turned to relief. I had finally done something right in my life. This Christmas was turning out much better than I had hoped for.

“You’ve got so much talent,” Marjorie said as she took the quilt out of the box, unfolding it to reveal its length. “I’ve never seen anything quite like this. It’s astonishing.”

“Wow,” Ian said, shaking his head and looking at the carpet. “I feel stupid.”

“Why?” I asked quickly, my head spinning. What could it be?

“My present for you isn’t nearly as good,” he said, taking a long black box from beside him and handing it towards me. “The only excuse I can think of is that I’m a guy. Forgive me for that.”

“What? Ian, no,” I said, staring at it.

“You gave me a gift, now you have to take it,” he said, laughing.

I opened up the box and my eyes almost fell out of my head. It was a long silver chain, made for holding charms around the neck. It was so shiny, it nearly blinded me. The thought hit me that this wasn’t something you’d see everyday...this was expensive. It was certainly worth ten times more than I deserved. I couldn’t refuse the gift, not in front of his parents, so I unhooked my old chain, slid the star off of it, and put it onto the new one, stashing the old in my pocket. The glimmer of the new chain made the old star seem dull and uninteresting. “Ian,” I said. “I’m flattered. It’s beautiful.”

He beamed and I excused myself for a minute, heading out into the hallway. I tried to pull myself together but it wasn’t happening...the tears were still welling up in my eyes, and I hadn’t cried in nearly two years.

“It’s okay to be who you are, you know,” a voice said behind me, and I spun around to see Ahren standing beside me. “You don’t have to pretend to be perfect for us.”

I wiped my face off and sniffed, “Yes I do. Just look at you. Look at him. He’s a great person and I...”

“Ever since you came along there’s been a real, positive change in him,” Ahren said softly. “He’s not concerned with going to parties anymore. He just wants to stay home with you and make sure you have whatever you need.”

“And that’s the problem,” I said, frustrated. “He gives me so much, but I don’t have anything to give him.”

“You didn’t know him before. He’s different now. I’d even go so far as to say you’ve given him more than anybody ever has before.” He sat down in one of the hallway chairs and I followed his lead, my head in my hands.

Ahren sighed when he looked at me. “You know he really liked the present you gave him. You could see it in his eyes. You couldn’t have made a more perfect gift, or picked a more perfect ornament to go with it.”

“It’s because I know him,” I said, my voice muffled. “I knew that he would love it, but does he really know me?”

“I’m sure he does. We never really know everything about a person, but I can see he’s trying to understand everything about you.”

“Why? There’s a dark side to me. I know it doesn’t look it, but you wouldn’t want to see it,” I said, turning away.

“We all have evil inside of us. But should we embrace it? Do you?”

I looked away. “I did what I had to in order to survive.”

“Is that evil? Or is that necessity?”

I did things that I never should have,” I said. “I’ve done...terrible things. Hideous things.”

“But you admit them, and know them for what they are,” he said gently. “Don’t bring the past into the present. The girl who did those things long ago is not the same woman who made that quilt for my son.”

He didn’t understand, but for some reason his words struck me. “Maybe you’re right,” I admitted. “But I don’t understand why you think it’s okay for me and Ian to be living together.”

“You’ve already proven to be...nicer...than other girls he has brought home in the past. I would rather have him be rooming with you than dating his ex.”

“That bad, huh?” I smiled.

“My children have a way of picking what’s worst for them. I hope you’ll be able to break that habit for Ian,” Ahren said as he got up.

My children? Ian had siblings? Before I could ponder this Ian burst down the hallway, two sets of ice skates in hand. “Come on! The pond has finally frozen over enough for ice skating! We can all go!”

“Excellent idea Ian,” Ahren said, smiling. “You two go ahead, I’m going to see if your mother needs any help putting the dishes away. Pleasure talking to you, Christie.” He nodded to me and left the room. Ian moved forward and asked, “What was that about?”

“Nothing,” I said, waving off the question. “Why exactly do you want to go ice skating?”

“It’s a Christmas tradition here at the Rosenthal house,” he said, handing me a pair of white skates. “Try these on. They look like they’ll fit.”

A few minutes later I was outside, skates all laced up, waiting to step onto the icy surface. Ian glided onto the ice with ease and stroked around as if he was made for it, going backwards, forwards, and in all directions. My jaw dropped. “How did you get to be so good?” I asked, a smile forming upon my face.

“I used to play hockey,” he said, skidding to a stop and spraying me with snow playfully. “Being on the ice comes naturally to me. You’ll learn in time.”

If I could be half as good as Ian it would be a miracle. He held out his hands and said, “Come on. I won’t let you fall.”

I took his hands tenderly and stepped onto the ice with care. My feet instantly slid out from under me and he grabbed my arms, pulling me to my feet. “Easy! It’s not like walking. Try shuffling. That’s what gliding is like.”

I did and still slid all over the place. How did Ian do it? I tried shifting my weight from one foot to the other, struggling to retain my posture.

“This is all about balance and practice,” Ian said. “You have to keep your weight over you.”

I tried shifting instead of stomping and I found that my balance grew more steady. I skimmed across the ice, relying mostly on Ian to guide me.

“Your body should be doing most of the work. Use your momentum to move around,” Ian explained.

“I don’t know how this is possible. These blades are a few centimeters thick. How can you stay straight on these?”

“Lots of practice,” he said. “I love the ice, and maybe it loves me just as much.”

“I want to be able to go fast, like you did,” I said.

He smiled mischievously. “You do, do you?”

I knew that gleam in his eye. “No, Ian...”

“Don’t worry,” he said, skating around my back and putting two hands upon my shoulders. “Just stay still and trust me.”

He began to push. He started out slowly, and then I began gliding with a speed I had never accomplished, not even while running, the fear and exhilaration pounding through me. I let out a giddy cry as Ian pushed me faster and faster. He pulled me around a corner and it was like being in a whirlwind. I felt like I was flying. “Faster, Ian!” I cried out, letting out another laugh.

“You want to go fast? You asked for it!” Ian scooped me up in his arms and now he was carrying me across the ice, zig zagging and swirling. I could swear that I was on a roller coaster as Ian turned circles and spun me around, rocking me from one direction to another. I couldn’t help it. I began laughing harder than I ever had, throwing my arms up in the air as Ian whirled me from place to place. Annabelle couldn’t touch me here...I’d never felt so alive.

Ian was out of breath by the time he let me go. I clung to him, still unbalanced but giggling. “That was...insane!” I said, my hair everywhere, my adrenaline pumping. “How did you get to be so strong?”

“You’re lighter than a feather,” he beamed. “I’ve carried sticks heavier than you.”

“Oh shut up,” I said, punching him in the shoulder. We spent a few more minutes skating around and before we got off I made Ian promise that we would come back often so he could teach me how to fly on my own.

“You really like it, don’t you?” he said, his cheeks getting even rosier as we sat on the wooden bench outside the rink.

“Yes, yes I do,” I said, slipping my boots back on and rising to my feet. “It’s wonderful.”

Ian took me by the hand and began walking through the snow. His touch surprised me, but I didn’t pull away. He stopped at the tiny barn I had seen earlier and dragged the huge door open, stepping inside to inhale the scent of hay and....horses.

It was a nicely kept barn, with all the hay stacked neatly on the sides of the wooden stalls and the aisle way swept clean. Only two horses resided inside. There was a giant, red male in the corner stall closet to us, and a small, raggedy looking female that had its nose in the corner furthest away from the door.

Ian led me up to the red’s stall. “This here is my horse, Rebel,” he said in a corny Southern voice, and I snickered. “We call him Reb for short. I used to contest him.”

“Contest?”

“Run him in games. Cowboy like things, such as racing barrels, pole bending, that type of thing?” he said slowly.

The words made no sense to me, but I imagined in my head Ian racing around on Rebel in a cowboy hat and boots, somewhere in a dirt arena risking his neck. “Sounds dangerous.”

“I lived for it. I’ve been paying my parents for his upkeep...I never could sell him after I graduated.” Ian looked wistfully at Rebel and the horse nickered, as if expecting a treat. Ian put his hand through the stall and started stroking the horse’s head, saying, “I don’t get to ride him much anymore, save for Sunday afternoons, but lately I’ve been neglecting him. I’d show you what it was like to ride him, but it’s starting to get dark.”

“Could you run him?” I asked.

“Not in this weather. He might slip and fall. Maybe this spring I’ll take you out and show you what he can do. You’ll be impressed, I guarantee it.”

His confidence was immense as always. Nothing ever shook Ian. He had an incapability to be knocked down by whatever happened to him. I had gotten used to his insane positivity by now. I moved to the far stall in the corner, looking at the poor mare within. Her ribs were showing, and her black coat had clumps of hair missing. “Who’s this?” I asked, tilting my head.

Ian’s smile fell. “Her name’s Miracle. My mom named her that because it’s a miracle she’s even alive. She’s a rescue case. We adopted her a few weeks ago after a shelter rescued her from the slaughterhouse. She’s only five and she’s a mess. She was born to an abusive owner, and she never saw grass until she was sent to the slaughterhouse. He never let her out of the stall and he hardly ever fed her. All the other horses she was with died. She was the only survivor. If I ever meet that guy, I swear I’ll...” His fists clenched with rage and I tried to envision a violent Ian. I couldn’t do it, but I had no doubt that if the situation presented itself, Ian would have no trouble hurting the monster who had done this.

“Why is she in here, instead of being outside? Nobody should be locked up on Christmas,” I said sadly. Her eyes looked dead...they had no emotion in them, as if all the hope and love had been beaten out of her.

“She won’t leave her stall unless we force her out, and personally, I don’t want to get injured today.”

“Injured?”

“She’s dangerous. Vicious. She cornered my dad in the stall and tried pawing at him. We’d have gotten rid of any other horse that did that, but we decided to give her a second chance. If she doesn’t get better soon we’ll have to put her down.”

My heart ached for the poor thing. She was the way she was because of people, and ultimately she would have to pay the price. I moved a little closer and Ian jumped, saying, “Christie, don’t!”

The black mare whirled around in her stall and lashed out with her teeth. Even though there were bars separating us I still leapt back, with Miracle gnashing at the bars and throwing her weight up against the stall door, creating a loud bang, the hinges creaking.

Miracle reared up in her stall, lashing out with her hooves. My breath caught as we waited for her to come down but the halter she wore got caught on a rusty piece of metal that was hanging from the ceiling. We watched in horror as the mare tried to escape but she was caught, up in the air and standing on two legs. Her eyes rolled back and her panting got heavy as the halter cut into her neck, choking her.

“Christie, don’t do anything, we can’t help!” Ian said, grabbing my shoulders.

“She’s going to strangle herself!” I cried. I wrenched myself away from Ian and ran into the stall without thinking, ducking to avoid the thrashing of the mare’s legs.