Thief (24 page)

No, he finally accepted, Sherial wasn’t wavering at all. She was certain, and had been from the first moment he had come to her. Sherial too wanted to consummate their relationship every bit as much as him, though Mikel knew that it wasn’t simply wanting on her part. On some level Sherial believed that it had always been intended for them to come together. It was simply that she hadn’t realized it until he had come to her. In that single moment she had known absolutely. Sex was simply a part of that coming together, and she wanted that closeness, all of it. More, she was determined to have it. Sooner or later Sherial promised him, she was going to have him, forever. It was not an idle promise.

What was holding her back was not shyness or propriety. Nor was it fear or doubt. Sherial knew nothing of any of those things. It wasn’t lack of desire for she had at least as much as he himself. It wasn’t even a need for commitment or anything so prosaic, - so human. Sherial already knew that whether or not they did this thing now, Mikel and her were committed for life. And Mikel knew the terrible fear and wondrous joy that she was right. Certainly he could never leave her.

The only thing holding her back was that Sherial was worried, - for him.

Sherial told him that he wasn’t ready, but that in time he might be. She told him that she would be there with him until then, and that she would not leave him. That it would be just as hard for her as it was for him. She meant it. Sherial always spoke the truth and besides he felt her desire and concern. She like him, was torn.

In truth he finally accepted that the only thing that had ever been holding her back was her fear that she might harm him. That he wasn’t strong enough. That their passion might hurt, might even kill him. It was something he couldn’t bear to listen to. Not now that he knew she would gladly let him revel in everything he ached for. That she would celebrate with him.

Heedless of his own fears he told her again and again that he was able, desperation in his voice. He cried out to her that nothing she could do could harm him. He told her that for her to deny him would be a thousand times worse than whatever harm she thought he might suffer else. At that moment it was true. He was scared of going ahead with this miraculous madness, but he was agonized by the idea of not doing so. He shamelessly used her own beliefs against her, arguing that it was meant to be, and that she shouldn’t go against that. Anything and everything he could think of he threw into his cries.

And it worked. Slowly he began convincing her, winning her around to his way of thinking, and as her doubts began to lessen, her desires raged. He felt it so clearly and took heart, knowing there was a chance. Hope fired him to try ever harder to persuade her, telling her of his desire, of his love, everything else forgotten in his desperate need to be with her.

Then in a moment of joy she yielded, utterly and completely, knowing he told the truth when he said being apart would be the worst pain he could know. She knew his torment, it was hers as well. He knew the instant she relented and screamed his pleasure - and his terror. She was smiling, smiling for him. Calling him to her, urging him to be with her. There was no possible resistance. How could there be? There was nothing left to resist with.

Legs, forgotten, returned suddenly to urgent life. He covered the scant yards between them in a shambling run, finally completely out of control and uncaring.

In seconds he had thrown himself into the cold, crystal clear water and was instantly with her, holding her to him, kissing her. And in his wonder and joy he found Sherial returning his passion. His mouth, his hands found her body as hers found him, and wandered freely guided by both their hungers. Mikel felt such desire, such joy, such love and peace in her arms that even then he knew he would never be able to leave. He had known that from the first. He was her slave in truth.

“I am a thief.” From where the words came from he didn’t know, but he clung to them as though his body and soul depended on them. They did. But they weren’t enough. Not nearly enough. Not when her glory was already surrounding him, her love was holding him tighter than mere steel bonds. It was as if a stranger had spoken them. His paranoid control-freak personality, no longer truly a part of him, still trying to pull him back from the edge after he had already jumped. It didn’t stand a chance.

“Let me go.” He screamed the words at her, but his scream was scarcely more than a whisper. For he understood once more, that she was drawing him to her, as she had been since the very start. That he had never had a choice in this. That both Sherial, and he himself on some level had never wanted him to have a choice. But that knowledge wasn’t enough to free him. Nothing could ever be. His hands continued to hold and glory in her perfection, while hers played with him in turn, promising paradise without end.

“Why?” Whether the word even made it out of his mouth was debatable, but Sherial understood him clearly. Her response was as nothing he could have imagined, as nothing he could even really understand. She held him to her with a strength not human and kissed him, so deeply, so longingly, that he knew she ached for him in exactly the same way as he did for her. And in his mind her felt her total desire for their union. With her soul she showed him everything that she desired, so much more than just the physical pleasure.

It was for love and lust all right. Sherial was going to enjoy their passion with all her might, as was he. It was also for hope and for their future. It was in some strange way for both his and her protection. It was for their future together as man and wife and for their family to come. It was so they could both be complete together instead of partial people apart as she had suddenly discovered they both were. It was something she didn’t completely understand herself, but which she was completely certain was absolutely right. If the Lord had not meant this to be, neither would be experiencing this now she told him. They were. There was nothing more to say.

Somewhere along the way the last of his clothes vanished, and he held her to him as tight as he could, while she in turn wrapped her arms, her legs, her wings around him promising him she would never let go either. Her hands held his lips to her, encouraging them in their exploration, and he knew nothing was off limits. For everything he wanted, everything he dreamed of, everything he had ever even fantasised of, she wanted too.

As he gloried in the perfection of Sherial surrounding him he felt her in turn relishing the touch of his hands on her own bare skin. It was as though their two bodies were becoming one. Her hands too found him and wandered freely, raising exquisite sensations over every square millimetre of his bare skin, while his manhood became painful. He swiftly became a raging hunger, which only Sherial could sate, and then he knew, only ever briefly.

An eternity of waiting later they joined, and in the same moment their flesh became one, so did their hearts and souls. For the briefest of instances Mikel finally understood why it was that she had always attracted him so incredibly strongly. It was her soul, reaching out to his, drawing him in like a magnet, as his must have somehow reached out to her. Then he ceased all comprehension, as their world became that of the thrust and parry of sexual intercourse. Desperation ruled them both.

Sherial wrapped him up in herself, arms, legs wings holding him tighter than a straight jacket, and answered his every thrust with one of her own. Quickly they together found a harmony of flesh and spirit that Mikel had never known, as each gave and received in perfect unison, but faster, ever faster.

Too soon he found himself on the edge, too soon surely for her, and yet even as he told her wordlessly of his nearness he felt Sherial coming too. Somehow, his heat had fired her own. As he felt the beginnings of his explosion, Sherial forced herself further down on him, trying to squeeze every last drop of pleasure out of him. And then all thoughts, all understanding ended, perhaps for eternity as they entered paradise together.

It was a land neither would ever leave voluntarily.

In the hours, days, weeks that followed, they made love as a man and a woman should only dream of. Time and space lost all meaning, as did everything else outside their love. The sun beat down on them, warming them with its light, and they made love. The stars shone down on them, cooling and blessing them in their glory, and they made love. The water lapped at them, cooling, soothing and caressing, easing their thirsts but not the heat of their hungers raging hotter than the sun. They made love.

Through it all they had an audience of all the wild creatures of the woods, every one of them as drawn to the beauty that was Sherial as was he. They too all wanted to gaze upon her beauty, to bathe in her radiance.

Were they jealous? Mikel hoped so.

Fire, sickness, pain and infinite heart ache.

He heard hysterical laughter in the air, the sound of a madman crying, and knew it for his own. He just couldn’t allow himself to know why. Instead he suffered, clinging to the pain, the insanity, holding it close as a comforting blanket. But even it couldn’t protect him forever.

How long? It was the first real thought that crossed his shattered mind.

How long had he been with her? Worse, how long had she been gone? He didn’t know the answer to either, and it scared him. He’d never lost control like this before. He’d never lost control in his entire life. And yet the loss of control was as nothing to the loss of Sherial. He shied away from that thought, too painful to bear. Yet his mind kept returning to it, worrying at it, like a tongue poking at a rotten tooth. Sooner or later he would have to know his loss.

It had been many days surely. He concentrated on the memories, the happy ones, desperate.

They had been joined body and soul for many days. He knew it had been the most wonderful time he had ever known, yet he couldn’t remember anything clearly of the spell that had passed. He vaguely remembered the passage of many star lit nights and sun drenched days. He remembered pleasure never before known to him, nor quite probably to any other man. Days and nights where all he’d done was to make love to Sherial, and she him.

Loving like otters in the sun, naked, free, and without a care in the world. They hadn’t eaten or slept in all that time, nor had they even spoken with more than their bodies and souls. But what other communication was there? All they had done was love, every climax only the prelude to the next. It had been a private orgy without end, without even the thought of an ending – except now it had ended.

A terrible blackness descended on him as he let that realization slowly creep over him. He couldn’t stop the truth sinking in ever deeper, crushing him with its weight. It had ended. What would he do?

Die. Surely there was nothing else to do. He was alone, his world so totally empty and tiny that he would disappear into a tiny black hole any second. Death would at least fill that void, and he would not know how bleak his existence was. Yet even as he thought of suicide he knew he wouldn’t do such a thing. It wasn’t allowed, either by Sherial or him.

The pain and heartache quickly turned to self-hatred. He cursed himself for having let it end, for it was his fault. The fault of his frail human body, and his even more fragile mind.

For he’d been dying. Dying of delight. The only way he’d endured as much as he had was because Sherial had given of herself to help him. As he had started failing, he had begged her for help, and she had responded. Her strength had filled him, allowing him to stay with her in heaven, allowing him to serve her as they both craved. It still hadn’t been enough. Could anything be enough? And yet even now, crippled and half-dead with pain, and only barely aware of who and what he was, he still wanted more. He would have gladly died for her, with her, giving her everything he had. Nothing could have given him greater pleasure. Literally.

But Sherial was gone. His world was empty, even though he knew she wasn’t far away, at least in angel terms. If she wanted she could be here in seconds, and she did want. Her love was here now with him, would always be in his soul. But she would stay away he knew. She would stay away until he’d recovered. For she knew he needed to recover, both in mind and body.

She’d told him so. It was the last thing Sherial had told him before she left. That there was something wrong. Something she didn’t understand, or perhaps just something that she couldn’t accept. Something that would kill him if they stayed together. And she didn’t want him to die, ever.