Things We Never Say (45 page)

‘I wasn’t married to Donald back then!’ cried Zoey. ‘I didn’t see any of it. Disgruntled Deirdre got her mitts on everything.’

‘Disgruntled Deirdre?’ Ellen was confused.

‘His ex-wife. Though I suppose that’s another thing that counts against him as far as you’re concerned. I’m his second wife. He’s divorced. You lot don’t believe in divorce, do you? You think men and women should stick together even when they’re utterly miserable. He didn’t meet me until after that bitch Deirdre had cheated on him. Then she took him to the cleaners, the skanky cow.’

Ryan stifled a grin at Zoey’s words. Abbey hid her own smile behind her hand. Alex said nothing.

‘There is clearly a lot of emotion going on here,’ said Ellen as she sat down again, having given Lisette another comforting hug. ‘Perhaps you’d better explain it all from your point of view.’

So Zoey, with occasional input from Lisette, told Ellen about the impact that Fred’s decision had had on the two brothers: Don’s rage at being usurped as the eldest, Gareth’s view that he had to support him, their anger about what their father had done and their belief – certainly in Gareth’s case – that Fred’s legacy would have eased his money worries.

‘Then you guys sail in here without a care in the world and take what’s rightfully ours, and that, you know, is plain wrong!’ said Zoey.

‘But as we said, they made an extremely generous offer, which you turned down,’ said Alex.

‘Why should anything go to them?’ demanded Zoey. ‘Half will probably get hoovered up by the convent, sorry, monastery and the rest – well, little Miss Butter-Wouldn’t-Melt-in-My-Mouth there will be able to live a life that she damn well shouldn’t be accustomed to.’

‘And why shouldn’t she?’ asked Ryan. ‘What makes you more entitled to it than her?’

‘Stop!’ Ellen held up her hand. ‘Stop with all this bitterness and anger and self-justification. Can’t you see that it’s poisoning your souls?’

‘Easy to say!’ Zoey couldn’t contain her rage. ‘Easy to say when the poisoning of yours has been greatly eased by what the old man has left you.’

‘Zoey.’ Lisette put her hand on her sister-in-law’s arm. ‘Sister Benita is right. We are … This is wrong. All of it. Everything we’ve said and done.’

‘We’re not wrong.’ There was a warning tone in Zoey’s voice. ‘We’ve only ever done what we thought was fair.’

Ryan looked at her curiously, but Ellen was speaking again.

‘I think we should pray,’ she said.

‘For crying out loud!’ Zoey was infuriated. ‘Now she’s playing the God card.’

But everyone fell silent as Ellen bent her head and began to speak. ‘Oh Lord, fill our hearts with Your love. Help us to understand Your will.’

Fred’s will, more likely, thought Abbey, as she peeped at the others from beneath her lowered lashes. Her eyes locked with Zoey’s, which were as amused as her own. That surprised Abbey. She’d thought that Zoey was hard and tough, but all at once she realised that although the other girl’s words might have been angry, they were fearful too. And concerned. For herself, she wondered, or for her husband? The man who’d been cheated and who’d lost everything.

Money should make things easier, she thought. But somehow, for everyone in the Fitzpatrick family, it had led to some very difficult choices.

The snow was falling more heavily by the time Abbey and Ellen returned to the hotel. They went into the lounge and sat beside another gas fire, although this one was much bigger than the one in their room. Ellen warmed her hands in front of it while Abbey stared into the blue and yellow flames. When one of the hotel staff asked if they’d like anything to eat or drink, they both declined.

‘I couldn’t possibly ingest any more tea,’ said Ellen. ‘I’m not used to it at weird hours of the day.’

Abbey thought her mother sounded tired. She was tired herself, and all the information that Ryan had given her was making her head spin. He’d kept up a conversation on the way back to the hotel, telling them that they’d meet with the barrister before going into the court the next day and that nothing either Lisette or Zoey had to say would make any difference – not that they’d be likely to get a chance to speak anyway. The truth was, Ryan said, that most cases ended up being more legal argument than anything else. And it was always possible that the Fitzpatricks would suddenly realise they were wasting their time and withdraw it. Which would be good for Alex, Ryan added, who was annoyed at having his professional integrity called into question.

‘Why does he think it’s being called into question?’ asked Ellen, and Ryan replied that challenging the will insinuated that Alex had given wrong advice to Fred when he’d turned up with his home-written document.

‘So it’s important for him to be seen to win?’ asked Ellen.

‘Yes,’ said Ryan.

‘And important for the two Fitzpatrick brothers to be seen to win too,’ she mused.

‘If it was only about the money, they would have accepted your offer,’ Ryan pointed out. ‘It was a seriously good deal. Clearly position in the family is very important to Donald, and the discovery that he’s not his father’s eldest child seems to have left him feeling disrespected in some way.’

‘That’s mental,’ said Abbey. ‘His position in the family won’t come to much if we win and get everything! He’ll be in a worse situation.’

‘Sometimes people don’t think clearly under pressure,’ said Ryan.

Ellen had nodded at his words and then retreated into a contemplative silence that Abbey hadn’t wanted to break. As she’d got out of the car, Ryan had squeezed her hand and told her not to worry, that everything would work out fine.

‘Grand?’ she murmured, and he’d squeezed her hand again and said yes, grand.

But, she thought, as she turned up the flames of the gas fire, legal battles never turned out to be grand, even if the decision went your way. Pete had told her that before, and Pete was always right.

Her phone rang, startling her.

‘Babes?’

‘Hi, Cobey.’ She lowered her voice. ‘What’s up?’

‘Nothing,’ he said. ‘I thought I’d call, see how things were going for you.’

The last time they’d met, the night before Ellen had arrived in San Francisco, she’d told him about going to Ireland to sort out the situation regarding Fred’s will. She’d tried to keep it all low-key, but somehow she’d ended up telling him more than she’d meant to about the Fitzpatricks, the house and the money. He’d been determined that she should fight for what was hers. He’d told her that she was lucky that the Fitzpatricks hadn’t accepted the offer of half, because in the end, when the judgment was handed down and she got everything, she’d be much better off. And it was right, Cobey added, that her mother was handing over her share to Abbey; nuns didn’t need money, but single girls living in the city did. He had then proceeded to tell her how best she should spend it. He wasn’t so keen on the idea of her buying the apartment (who wants to be tied down to a single place? he’d asked); he thought she should take time out and travel the world. Live a little, he’d said, enjoy the good things in life.

Abbey had listened to Cobey itemising the things that money could buy and wondered if, at the end of his shopping list, there’d be anything left. Then he’d added that they could rent a nice place overlooking the bay – better than the apartment they’d previously shared and better than the one she was now living in. When she’d told him that she liked where she lived, he’d remarked that it wasn’t a rich girl’s apartment and she was going to be rich. She owed it to herself, Cobey told her, to get somewhere great. And then he’d mentioned a downtown block with amazing views towards the ocean which would suit her perfectly. And him too, he’d added, because it was an easy commute to the office where he hoped to start work.

Abbey hadn’t missed the fact that he was continually talking as though the two of them were going to live together on her return from Ireland, but she didn’t say anything. Now, despite Cobey asking her questions about the legal process, she didn’t say very much either.

‘I’m looking forward to you coming home,’ he said. ‘I miss you.’

‘I miss you too.’ She said the words automatically. ‘I have to go now,’ she added. ‘I’ll talk to you later.’

She ended the call and stared into the fire. It seemed as though she and Cobey were a couple again, and she wasn’t entirely sure how that had happened. She’d forgiven him for walking out on her because, as her mother would point out, it was important to forgive, and Cobey had got himself into a pressurised situation. But she hadn’t planned on being his girlfriend again. She wasn’t quite sure that was who she wanted to be.

‘Anything you want to talk about?’ Ellen asked.

She’d almost forgotten her mother was still in the room. Ellen was so damned quiet and self-effacing these days that she seemed to melt into her surroundings.

‘Not really,’ said Abbey.

‘OK.’ Ellen settled back into her chair and opened a well-thumbed copy of the bible.

‘You must know the story by now,’ remarked Abbey.

Ellen looked up at her. ‘Every good book deserves to be read more than once.’

‘I guess.’

‘And you get something new out of it every time,’ Ellen said. ‘Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. John 14:27.’

‘You think my heart is troubled?’ asked Abbey.

‘Well, everyone’s heart is troubled at some point,’ said Ellen. ‘And this is a troubling time.’

‘It shouldn’t be,’ Abbey said. ‘I’m going to have money. And I like that idea, Mom. It makes me feel confident and good about myself.’

Ellen gazed at her thoughtfully. ‘Why do you need money to feel confident and good about yourself?’ she asked. ‘Haven’t you been doing well lately? Isn’t that what you’ve been telling me? That your nail business is going from strength to strength? That you’ve won competitions and you’re going to this Nail Olympics thing?’

‘Nailympics,’ corrected Abbey. ‘Yes, but all those things happened to me after I heard about Fred Fitzpatrick’s will. After I realised that I could be rich.’

‘So the people who judged the nail art knew about the will?’ Ellen looked at her enquiringly.

‘Well, no, but—’

‘And all those extra clients you told me about came to you because you’ll have money?’

‘Mom …’

‘And you’re only good at what you do because of the actions of a man you hardly knew?’

Abbey shook her head slowly.

‘It’s not that simple.’

‘This person, a man I’m thinking, who you miss – does he need you to have money?’

Abbey looked at Ellen, a shocked expression on her face.

‘Why would you say that?’

‘I’m trying to find out why it matters to you.’

‘Money matters to everyone. Except you and the rest of the nuns, because you’re looked after in the monastery. You don’t have to care about things like the rest of us.’

Ellen said nothing.

‘Oh!’ Abbey suddenly despaired of her mother. ‘Even when you’re not talking, you’re managing to melt my head!’ She stood up. ‘I’m going up to my room. I don’t want to talk any more.’

She’d been sitting there on her own for about twenty minutes when her phone rang again. She looked at it warily, deciding that if it was Cobey she wasn’t going to answer. But it was Ryan Gilligan’s name she saw on the display.

‘I thought I’d check that you’re OK,’ he said. ‘The scene in the house earlier was a bit upsetting.’

‘I’m … I’m grand,’ she said.

‘You don’t sound grand, you sound glum.’

‘I’ve been having existential conversations with my mother,’ she told him, and he chuckled.

‘She’s an interesting woman,’ he said.

‘That’s one way of putting it,’ said Abbey.

‘She’s very calm.’ Ryan disregarded the slight edge to Abbey’s voice. ‘When she looks at you, it’s like she’s peering into your soul.’

‘You think?’

‘That’s how I felt,’ he said. ‘She made me feel a bit superficial, to be honest.’

‘She does that to me all the time.’ Abbey’s tone was dry.

‘I wondered …’

‘Yes?’

‘Would you like to meet me?’ he asked. ‘For a drink, a glass of wine, something like that?’

Talking to Ryan was easier than talking to her mom. Or talking to Cobey Missen. She needed to be with someone easy. And hell, she could do with some alcohol to take the edge off her feelings.

‘I’d love to,’ she said.

‘Excellent. I’m outside the hotel now.’

‘You are?’

‘After I dropped you there, I went back to the office with Alex. Then I decided to return here. Just in case.’

‘Give me five minutes,’ said Abbey.

She looked at herself in the mirror, rubbed some blusher on her too-pale cheeks, then ran her brush through her hair and spritzed herself with Benefit B Spot. She pulled on her jacket and walked downstairs. Her mother was still sitting in the lounge in front of the fire, her eyes closed. Abbey thought that perhaps she’d fallen asleep. She didn’t go over to her, but instead asked Clara to tell her that she’d be back later.

Ryan was standing in the reception area waiting for her. He smiled and took her by the arm, telling her they were going to walk as far as the Bloody Stream, a pub near the railway station. The falling snow deadened the sound of their footsteps, and Ryan kept a tight hold of her as they walked along the white streets.

‘I can’t believe I’m walking on snow,’ said Abbey. ‘Every so often we get a blast of Canadian air on the West Coast and there’s all sorts of snowy predictions, but it hasn’t happened yet.’

‘You’ve never had snow?’ He was incredulous.

‘Not enough to make a snowball.’ Abbey bent down and scooped some up in her hand. ‘Jeez, it’s cold, though.’

‘Snow usually is,’ remarked Ryan with good humour.

They went inside the pub, which was heaving with people, most of whom were hoping that the cold snap wouldn’t last.

‘We’re not properly set up for it,’ explained Ryan as he placed a glass of red wine in front of Abbey. ‘It’s something that’s better in the anticipation than the reality.’

‘Maybe tomorrow will be like that.’ Abbey shivered suddenly. ‘I thought it would be exciting. But now …’ Her voice trailed off and she gazed into her glass.