This Charming Man (88 page)

‘Mum, this is Considine.‘

‘Nice to meet you, Mrs Daly,’ Considine said to her headstone.

Think Mum said, ‘Nice to meet you too,’ but hard to hear her because football children shouting, ‘Yessss!’ and ‘Nooooo!’ and other football words.

‘She says nice to meet you too,’ I said (because she probably did, she is tremendously polite). ‘Now, Considine, I need to have little private chat with her.’

‘I go away?’

‘No, is silent chat. You may stay.’

We both sat on little kerb and in my head I said, ‘Take good look at him, Mum. Now, not your fault you had to die and leave me but really need your advice. Afraid to trust own judgement after de Courcy. What you think about this cranky trannie who lives on other side of country?’

Voice in head answered, ‘He is not cranky.’

‘Yes, but–’

‘He is not trannie either.’

‘True –’

‘Admittedly he does live on other side of country, but is very small country.’

‘Please do not mention Kildare bypass.’

‘Do you love him?’

‘Yes, Mum.’

‘Then you have to go for it.’

Moment of doubt. Was I only telling self what wanted to hear?

‘Mum, are you really there?’

‘Yes!’ one of the kids yelled. My anxiety dispersed – had not imagined that voice –and at same time sun shook itself free of cloud and beamed sudden yellow light down on us all.

‘Mum, tell me honestly, will it be okay?’

‘Yes!’ the kid yelled again.

‘You quite sure?’

‘Yes, yes, yes!’