This Is So Not Happening (32 page)

“But he’s not there yet!” she hissed.

“Well, you were supposed to talk to him, not me,” Quinn whispered back. “Where is he?”

“I don’t know! He’s not answering my texts!” Annie said, frustrated.

I had no clue what they were talking about, but a foreboding chill went down my spine and I felt goose bumps pop up along my arms. I opened the door. They both went silent and stood up straight.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“Nothing,” Annie said.

“Nothing,” Quinn echoed.

“Good. Then I’m leaving,” I told them.

I pushed right between them and headed back inside the church. The worship space was almost empty now, only the florist and her assistants running around, dismantling the flowers so they could be brought over to the club. I walked down the side aisle and turned purposefully toward the door.

“Ally, wait!” Annie called out, jogging to catch up with me.

“You can’t go out there yet!” Quinn added.

“Why not?” I said suspiciously, quickening my pace. I glanced over my shoulder at them and they were both gunning for me, like a couple of well-dressed bounty hunters. I gripped my bouquet, prepared to fight them off with it, if it came to that. “What’s going on out there that I’m not supposed to see?”

“Nothing. There’s
not
something out there that you
are
supposed to see,” Quinn replied, so desperate and frustrated she was turning pink.

Even Annie looked confused by that one. She made a final lunge, but there was no stopping me now. I ran outside into the bright afternoon sunshine and saw … nothing. Nothing but a bunch of cars full of wedding guests clogging the narrow street.

Annie stood next to me, panting for breath, and looked around. “Shit.”

“Where
is
he?” Quinn whined.

“Where’s who?” I asked, throwing my hands up and letting them slap down at my sides. Petals showered from my bouquet. “My dad? Because in case you haven’t noticed, it’s too late for him to swoop in and stop the wedding.”

“No, not your dad,” Quinn said, like I was just so stupid. “We’ve been trying to help—”

“Wait,” Annie said, touching Quinn’s arm. “There.”

Her brow crease flattened, replaced by a victorious kind of smile. I turned to look where she was looking. An Escalade edged forward in the traffic, revealing an army green Jeep parked across the street. And leaning back against the Jeep, his legs crossed at the ankle, his hands pushed casually into the pockets of his suit pants, was Jake Graydon. He looked breath-stoppingly gorgeous in a slim-cut suit and light blue striped tie, his hair gelled up a little bit in front.

Jake smiled slowly. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt this weird, tingling mix of excitement and apprehension, of hesitation and pure giddiness. I laughed, I couldn’t help it, and Jake pushed himself off the car, crossing the street to meet me at the bottom of the steps. Annie gave me a nudge and I tripped my way down there. Up close, the color of Jake’s tie made his eyes look almost impossibly blue, and he smelled clean and freshly shaven. I could feel my pulse thrumming in my wrists.

“Hey,” he said.

“It’s
Sixteen Candles
,” I blurted.

Jake nodded. “Annie made me watch it, like, ten times before she agreed to help me.”

I glanced over my shoulder, but Annie and Quinn had already disappeared. “I knew those two were up to something.”

“Ally, listen.” Jake paused and looked down at my flowers. For a second I thought he was going to take my hand, but he changed his mind. “I’ve been a total jerk,” he said, gazing into my eyes imploringly. “You tried to tell me, but I wouldn’t listen. It was like I didn’t … almost like I didn’t want to let it go. I just wanted to be mad at Chloe. I wanted someone to, like, hate for everything that had happened. I don’t know.”

He rubbed his brow with his hands, like making this speech hurt his brain.

“But you were right,” he continued after a moment. “And I only realized it after I told Chloe I was sorry. I just felt better, you know? And then I felt like an ass again, because you knew. You knew that it would work that way and I didn’t listen.”

I stared at him, my heart welling with something that felt like pride. Then he ducked his face and shook his head.

“This sounded a lot better in my mind,” he told me.

“You’re doing okay,” I encouraged him.

“Really?” he asked. “Because I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to talk to me again. But I … I just wanted you to know that you were perfect. You were amazing, actually. And I know I didn’t appreciate it. I treated you like crap.”

I swallowed hard. Part of me wanted to argue, but I couldn’t. Because in a lot of ways it was true.

“I almost didn’t come here because, I mean, how many chances am I gonna ask for, right?” His voice was throaty and his eyes were hopeful as he looked at me. “But then I realized it was too important … that I … loved you too much not to try. So is there any way, I mean … could I have a third chance?”

My heart pounded in my chest. I looked carefully into his eyes. This was the Jake I knew. The Jake I loved. But how was
I supposed to know that he wouldn’t change again? That the guy who’d tortured Chloe and seemed to take so much pleasure in it wouldn’t suddenly come back? I vividly remembered that darkness that would come over his face whenever he saw her. The memory of that transformation still made me shudder.

“Jake—”

“Oh. Shit,” he said, just hearing my tone. He started to turn away. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No! I mean, don’t go … yet.” I closed my eyes, trying to figure out how I felt, what to say. “I just … I can’t do this right now. I’m supposed to be at the country club already. My mom …”

“So blow it off,” he said with a tentative smile. “Like in the movie.”

In that moment he looked so vulnerable, so open, it made me want to just take him up on the offer. Go somewhere and be alone with him and cuddle and kiss and talk and kiss some more. But I couldn’t. I didn’t entirely trust him. And not only that, I’d made a promise to myself that this day was not going to be about me.

“I have to make a speech, remember?” I told him. “My mom would die if I blew it off. Well, first she’d kill me, and then she’d die.”

Right then, the silver Town Car that was supposed to squire me and Quinn to the reception zoomed past, Quinn gazing up at us from the back passenger seat.

“And there goes my ride,” I said, lifting my flowers.

“So I’ll drive you,” Jake said.

My eyebrows shot up. Jake was technically not invited to the wedding. And if I brought him into the reception, I’d have to
explain it to my mom. Something I didn’t remotely know how to do.

“It’s just a ride. I won’t even come inside if you don’t want me to,” Jake said, as if he was reading my thoughts. He took out his keys and twirled them once, catching them in his palm. His eyes danced. “Your limousine awaits, princess.”

Then he held out his free hand to me. And after only a moment’s hesitation, I took it.

The note card on which I had written my speech—just in case—was starting to go soft in my hands from the disgusting amount of sweat my palms were producing. I stared at it under the table, my salad untouched, keeping one eye on the band director for the signal that I was up. Ever since we’d arrived at the Orchard Hill Country Club, I had been unable to relax. Even in the moments I wasn’t consciously thinking about my speech—like when I was inhaling mini crab cakes at the cocktail hour, posing for the ten billionth picture with my mom, Gray, Quinn, and her uncle Mason, or dancing to awful renditions of Britney Spears tunes with Annie, my heart was still pounding with nervousness. I just wanted to get this over with. Then maybe I could enjoy myself.

“If I may have your attention, please!” the bandleader suddenly announced.

My knee bounced up and knocked the underside of the table, causing everyone’s china to jump. Mortifying. Totally mortifying.

“We’ll now hear from the maid of honor and the best man!”

There was a smattering of applause. I rose slowly, rubbing my knee under the tablecloth. On the other side of the table, Mason buttoned his tuxedo jacket and strode purposefully to the front of the room. Why couldn’t I be that confident? And why hadn’t Gray made
his
daughter the best man and forced her to get up in front of hundreds of people and make a stammering idiot out of herself?

I glanced at Quinn as I passed her by. She was laughing in a totally carefree way at something Hammond had just said to her. Lucky.

Somehow, I arrived at the bandstand without tripping. The gazebo room of the country club looked like something out of a modern fairy tale. The ceiling was draped with a canopy of white lights, and every table was adorned with colorful swags of floral garland. Flowers burst from the glass centerpiece vases like fireworks, and the windows looked out over the lake, where hundreds of yellow, red, and orange paper lanterns bobbed in the setting sun. I took a deep breath and looked at my mom, seated at the sweetheart table with Gray directly across the dance floor. She was giving me that look. The one that said I could do no wrong. Damn, I hoped she was right.

“Ladies first,” Mason said, handing me the microphone.

My jaw hung open. Was he kidding? He was, like, forty something years old. He couldn’t give a kid a break and lead off?

“Uh, hi,” I said into the mike.

“Go, Ally!” Shannen shouted, earning a round of laughter.

I tried to shoot her an
I hate you
look and instead found myself looking at Jake. At the last minute I’d decided to let him come inside, and the maître d’ had said there was no problem
squeezing him in at my friends’ table. My mother hadn’t even seemed to notice he was here, and now I was beyond glad he’d come. However stupid or weak or wrong someone on the outside may have thought I was, this day just hadn’t felt right without him in it. And besides, he was the one who had advised me on my speech. Now we were about to find out if he was right.

Jake lifted his chin and gave me a confident nod. I squared my shoulders and began.

“I’m Ally, daughter of the bride,” I began. My voice sounded weird and nasal, coming back at me through the speakers. And loud. Way too loud. I held the microphone farther away from my lips. “I was really psyched when my mom asked me to be her maid of honor … until I realized I was going to have to do this,” I joked. The laughter was more wholehearted than I expected and I felt my confidence rise. “But honestly, it made sense. Because my mom and I have always been best friends.”

“Awwww!” the crowd cooed.

I smiled. Who knew they were going to be so effortless? I could have written any kind of crap and they would have eaten it up.

“I’m sure you can all imagine that it’s not the easiest thing, watching your mom marry someone who’s not your dad,” I said, my stomach clenching a bit. “But if she was going to marry someone, I’m glad it was Gray, because it’s obvious to the world how happy he makes her, and anyone who makes my best friend that happy has to be pretty cool.”

I glanced at Gray and he smiled, nodding his head in thanks. My mom kissed his cheek.

“So thank you, Mom, for giving me the distinct honor of making this speech,” I said, with a touch of sarcasm that made everyone laugh. “And thank you, Gray, for being the guy who
makes my mom’s face look like that,” I said, pointing.

My mom’s eyes shone and her cheeks were all pink with happiness. I earned another “aw” from the crowd, then turned to pick up my champagne glass.

“To the bride and groom!” I shouted, my relief at being done pouring through every last speaker in the room.

“The bride and groom!” the guests replied, lifting their glasses.

Then there was a round of applause and it was over. Just like that. After months and months of worrying. I handed the microphone to Mason and stepped back, so very happy that I was done. For a while I watched my mom and Gray react to Mason’s speech, but as it went on longer and longer, people started to get antsy and squirmy, including me. Looked like Jake had been right about the speeches. Short and simple was the way to go. I turned, just slightly, to see if he was still paying attention. I figured he’d be eating his salad or laughing it up with the Idiot Twins or something. But he was just sitting in his chair while my friends chatted and ate around him, watching me. I felt the intensity of his stare from my scalp all the way down my arms and into my fingertips, along my spine and down to my toes.

And just like that I knew. Whatever fears I still had, whatever distrust, whatever disappointments or questions, I knew that this wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

“Your mom seriously knows how to throw a party,” I said, gripping the Jeep’s steering wheel.

Oh, nice. Bring up her mother. That’s romantic. Jackass.

“As long as I don’t ever have to give a speech again, she can throw whatever parties she wants,” Ally replied.

She was sitting in the passenger seat, but as far away from me as possible. Across the water, the lights of the country club glowed. The gazebo room was full of dancing guests. Every once in a while a laugh could be heard through the open car windows. But the only thing I could think about was that this was where I’d kissed her the first time. How I’d kill to do it again. My pulse pounded in my ears. Would she ever let me do it again?

“I thought you were awesome,” I said.

“Please.” She rolled her eyes and flicked the window controls back and forth. Which did nothing, since the car wasn’t on.

“No. You were,” I protested, maybe a little too loudly.

“Well, I couldn’t have done it without you,” she said.

I felt a rush of pride. Maybe all wasn’t lost.

“Seriously, if it wasn’t for your advice, I would’ve rambled on longer than Mason did.”

“Yeah. That guy crashed and burned,” I said with a laugh.

Ally laughed too. She rested her elbow on the armrest and her temple on her hand and looked over at me. I suddenly felt like some awkward dork with bad breath and no clue.

“What’re we doing?” she asked.