This Loving Land (22 page)

Summer sobbed out the story in Sadie’s arms. Afterwards, she lay on the bed, flat on her back, staring at nothing, as if her eyelids were paralyzed. Sadie brought a wet cloth, wiped her swollen face, and smoothed back her tangled hair.

“I don’t believe it.” She sat on the edge of the bed holding tightly to Summer’s hand and desperately trying to find a reason to believe the story was not true. “I ain’t never met nobody like her. She makes me feel like I’m a nothin’ when she turns her eyes on me. Couldn’t she of wrote the letter?”

“No. It was my mother’s paper and my mother’s handwriting.” The violet eyes that looked at Sadie were dry but puffed, and showed the effects of her violent weeping. “It’s true, Sadie. No amount of wanting it not to be is going to change things.”

“What’ll you do, Summer? Will you tell Slater?”

“I’m pregnant, Sadie.” She paused at the look of astonishment on Sadie’s face. The words were incredible and voicing them aloud put a permanence to them. “I can’t let Slater live with the bitter fact he made his . . . sister pregnant.”

“Oh, Summer! Oh, you poor girl!” Her own tears swamped her throat, almost smothering her words.

“I’ve got to go away, Sadie.” She leaned on her elbow. “Ellen has offered to help me.” She clutched Sadie’s arm. “It’s John Austin I’m worried about. Will you take care of him for me, Sadie? Please, do this for me. I’ll send for him as soon as I can.”

“Why, don’t you worry none about John Austin. But, but why can’t me and Mary go with you? We could all manage somehow. We could go off somewhere and I’d get work. We’d get by.” Sadie’s face was troubled. “I don’t want you to go off with that woman, Summer. Please don’t do it. Somethin’ bad will happen. I just know she ain’t no good!”

“I won’t stay with Ellen. Promise me you’ll stay here and take care of John Austin and that you’ll not tell anyone that I’m pregnant.”

“Course I promise. I’d do anythin’ you’d want me to do. But what’s Slater to think when you just up and go?”

“He’s too sick to be told now. He’ll be hurt, but it’s better this way. In a few weeks, or a month, I’ll be far enough away that it will be safe for you to show him the letter. He’ll understand then.”

“I don’t know, Summer. He’s goin’ to be powerful mad when you leave without tellin’ him. I don’t know if I can wait a month.”

“Wait as long as you can, Sadie. Even if he knows, he won’t be able to ride for quite a while.”

After that they were quiet, each lost in their own thoughts, but holding tightly to each other’s hands. Ellen paced back and forth on the porch, looking in through the open door from time to time. From an unsuspected source within her, Summer had summoned the strength to think calmly. A line from her mother’s letter staggered grotesquely across her mind: “I fear my sins of that wonderful summer are catching up with me.” Like my mother, Summer thought. I’m like my mother. But my sins caught up with me sooner, and I’ll pay for them longer.

Sadie took Summer’s small trunk from under the bed and started filling it. Without asking, she lifted the bag of money from the bureau and tucked it inside, along with the box that held the hair necklace and the money Slater had given her to buy her wedding dress. It was a large sum of money; more than Sadie would dream of having. She was glad that Summer, at least, wouldn’t have to worry about money for a while.

John Austin and Mary came down from the loft.

“I’m tired of staying up there, Summer,” he complained. Then, seeing what Sadie was doing, he asked: “What are you packing Summer’s trunk for? Slater can’t go to town now. Jack said he couldn’t go for a long time. Jack said that he was going to go to town and drag that preacher out here if he had to scare the sh—” His eyes darted to his sister. “Jack said he’d be damned if he’d . . .”

“Jack said, Jack said!” Impatience made itself known in Sadie’s tone. “Summer’s goin’ to go visit Mrs. McLean. Slater’s goin’ to be laid up for a long time and Summer’s goin’ to go with Mrs. McLean . . . to make her wedding dress.”

“What’s she on the bed for?”

“She’s tired, that’s what for. She’s been up all night. Now skee-daddle and read your books or somethin’. Mary, you come and sit here on the floor and I’ll let you hold Summer’s lookin’ glass.”

Summer lay motionless on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Sadie worked and talked softly to Mary, her own problems forgotten now, in the face of the blow that had been dealt her friend.

When John Austin appeared in the doorway and told her Jesse had returned, the news didn’t make her as wildly happy as it would have done a few days ago, or even one day ago.

“The soldiers are back, too. I wish Jack would let me go talk to them. Do you think he would, Sadie?”

“You’ll have to ask him, but not now. Jack said for us to stay in the house, and that’s what we got to do.” Sadie walked to the door.

Jesse was standing beside his horse, and in spite of herself, she couldn’t control the sudden leap of her heart. Ellen stood close to him, her arms about his waist while he patted her back.

The sight of the two of them together aroused anger in Sadie. Anger at herself for being so stupid as to think that she had a chance with him. She watched them, fascinated, as Ellen worked her wiles. She stroked his cheek, smiled up at him, laughed at what he was saying without taking her eyes from his face.

“Men are dumber than sheep,” Sadie muttered, trying to keep the tears of disappointment from her eyes, “and sheep ain’t got no brains a’tall!” She turned from the doorway in disgust, looked at Summer to see if she had caught the significance of the soldiers being back, but Summer lay as before, still staring at the ceiling.

Jesse and Ellen moved to the porch and their voices drifted in through the open door.

“I want to go home, Jesse.”

“We’ll have to wait, Ellen. Captain Slane is taking his troop out in hope of bottling up that gang before they come in here. I’m to stay here in case some of them get through. They are a bad bunch, Ellen. About the worst bunch this part of the country has known. This is the captain’s chance to get them. So we’ll sit tight until it’s over.”

“I’ve got something to say about that, Jesse. While you were chasing around with Captain Slane, your own men were here taking orders from Slater’s foreman. There are four men here who work for us. Tom has ignored me ever since we got here. When we get home I want you to get rid of him. Travis said he was always a taking too much on himself. And from the way he has been acting, I can certainly believe it.”

“We’ll talk about it later, Ellen.”

“We’ll talk about it now.”

“Later. You’re tired now, and frightened.” Jesse’s voice was firm, then gentle, patient.

“I’m not frightened!” Ellen’s voice rose angrily. “Don’t you be telling me I’m frightened when I’m not! Another thing, Jesse, don’t you forget you work for me, too. You work for me and Travis.” There was a long silence, then Ellen’s voice, soft, wheedling. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that, darling. You know I didn’t. You’re my mainstay, my strong one. I couldn’t possibly get along without you. You know that.”

“I know. It’s all right. We’ll go home just as soon as . . .”

They moved away from the window and Sadie’s stomach did a slow turnover. Her dreams were slowly floating away.

When Jesse appeared in the doorway, Sadie looked at him with hostile eyes. He came into the room, glanced at Summer, who ignored him, at the open trunk, then at Sadie with questioning eyes, but didn’t voice the question. Mary ran to him and wrapped her small arms about his legs.

“Hello, punkin. How’s my girl?” He lifted her up into his arms for a moment, then gently set her on her feet. “Is this what you’re after?” He handed her a stick of candy after carefully picking off the fragments of tobacco that clung to it. Mary looked at him adoringly.

Jesse looked at Sadie for a long while before he spoke. It was still there . . . the wanting to hold her, protect her. She was holding herself away from him . . . forcing herself to be cold. He understood. It was Ellen

“I came to tell you that Travis is riding in.” Sadie seemed to freeze. Her green eyes grew large and frightened. “Jack and Tom and two strangers are with him. You’ll be all right. Stay out of sight and keep Mary and the boy away from the doors.“ He glanced at Summer again. “Is she sick?”

Sadie shook her head. “Just tired.”

“And you? You been all right?”

“Course.” She tried to stop her eyes from looking in his direction, but she was helpless to control them. She was too nervous to say more, her throat dry. The silence seemed to elongate.

He continued to look at her until outside sounds reached them. Jesse stood back from the door and looked out. He didn’t want to bring his quarrel with Travis out in the open at this time: Better for the two of them to settle it alone, with Ellen out of the way.

The men halted their horses back from the porch, well behind Summer’s flower beds. Jack and Tom moved to the side and slightly in front of the other three. All had somber, quiet faces, except Travis. He was the only one that dismounted.

Ellen, with her arm wrapped about the porch post, called out to him.

“Travis, darling. Have you come to take your mama home?”

He grinned at her, but didn’t answer. He had pushed his hat to the back of his head and his face wore that devilish, reckless expression that said his blood was high and he was in one of his devil-may-care moods. He swaggered to the front of the horse, the reins dangling carelessly over his arm, stood with straddled legs and rolled a smoke.

To Ellen, who knew him so well, he was putting on a show. She smiled indulgently at him. He was so handsome, this boy of hers. Someday, he would be the richest, most important man in Texas.

“What makes you think that, Mama?” He scraped the head of a match on his boot heel and let the flame flare for a second or two before holding it to the end of the smoke. “I didn’t even know you were here.” His voice was lazy, his attitude confident. He was very much the man in charge and he was enjoying it.

Ellen laughed. “Well, you know now.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at the men with him. They were strangers and didn’t look like the sort of company her son would keep. A little prickle of uneasiness came over her. “Tom,” she called, “hitch up my buggy. Travis and his friends will escort me home. I knew that was a bunch of hogwash about a band of men riding on this ranch. You didn’t see them, did you, Travis?”

Travis flipped the half-finished smoke into the dust, looked up at the two men who sat their horses, silently, expectantly. Confidently, he crossed his arms over his chest and rocked back and forth on his heels.

“Yes, I did, Mama,” he announced. “But I don’t think they’re going to ride in here. There’s no need for it.” He waited a moment. His eyes shifted from his mother to Jack. “All of a sudden, there’s been some changes made around here.” His eyes moved back to Ellen and he grinned broadly. “You see, Mama, the Keep belongs to me now.” The grin left his face and he snarled at Jack. “You got no more to say. You can either ride out on that horse you’re on, or you can ride out a laying across the saddle. Makes no difference to me.”

There was silence. Jack never moved nor showed the least expression. Ellen took a deep breath and clung tighter to the porch post. Jesse, listening in the house, felt his muscles tighten.

Travis continued. “Got nothing to say, Jack? Don’t you want to know how come the Keep belongs to me? No? Well, I’ll tell you anyhow.” His eyes swept from Tom to Jack to his mother. He was enjoying this. He felt stimulated, his pulses raced as they did when he was subduing a fighting woman. He let a minute go by, while the tension mounted. Then he laughed.

“What’s bad news for you is good news for me, Jack. A day or two ago we come onto old Slater’s body up in the hills. He’d been done in by the Apaches. Looked like he’d been dead for a day or two. The buzzards had already picked his eyes out.” He paused and looked at his mother’s shocked face. “You know what that means, don’t you, Mama? McLean land goes to blood McLeans. The Keep belongs to me. Slater’s got no other blood kin. Ain’t that right, Mama?”

Ellen’s face turned deathly white, her breath almost left her. She clung frantically to the porch post as her suddenly limp legs refused to hold her. Oh, my God! she thought. Oh, Travis, my darling boy, you didn’t finish the job. We’ve let him live, again! Her head buzzed and her eyes refused to focus. She wasn’t sure if she had uttered the words aloud.

“Jesse!” she screamed. “Jesse!” She looked frantically around. Jesse would know what to do, he would make things right. Jesse always took care of things.

Jesse came out the door the instant Ellen called him. She ran to him and clutched at him, her face a mask of anguish.

“Jesse! Do something!” she sobbed.

The hate he felt for Travis boiled up in his throat like bile. He was rotten to the core, he had known it for years, and now, at last, he had tripped himself up. He put Ellen from him, moved over a pace, and faced Travis.

“What the hell are you up to?” The cold voice whipped Travis like a lash.

The question that was posed in that confident, hated voice, was the key that opened the coffer of feelings that had been building inside Travis for years. The rage, humiliation and resentment for all the times he had come out second best to this man foamed up inside him. This was the moment to end it. It had to be now. He couldn’t live another day, breathe the same air, walk on the same earth as this arrogant bastard. His nostrils flared and his heart pounded. Hell, he could beat him at a draw. Hadn’t Bushy Red said he was pretty good? What was Jesse, anyway, but a stray pup his mother had picked up.

Ellen read the expression on her son’s face and called out frantically.

“Travis! No! You behave, now!”

“Shut up, Mama!”

“Move out of the way, Ellen,” Jesse said calmly.

“No, Travis! You mind me!”

“I said to shut up, Mama!”

“Jesse will fix it . . . please, Travis!”

Travis took a step forward, his eyes glued on Jesse. “You bastard! You goddamn bastard!” The words were a strangled snarl.

His head suddenly thrust forward and his right hand dropped. At that instant, Ellen sprang in front of Jesse. Jesse’s own gun was up, but Ellen was in the line of fire. He saw her body jerk as the bullet hit her, spinning her around. A second shot was fired a split second after the first. Jesse didn’t see Travis’s body fall or Tom Treloar’s smoking gun swing to cover the other men. He caught Ellen’s falling body.

He stood numbly, holding Ellen in his arms. Travis lay sprawled on his back where Tom’s bullet had slammed him. The blond hair was gone from the top of his head, blood and brains drained out onto the ground.

Summer and Sadie had run out onto the porch. They stood there in horrified silence.

Ellen lifted her head from Jesse’s shoulder and looked down at the front of her dress.

“Am I hurt, Jesse? I don’t feel anything.”

For an instant, he rested his cheek against her forehead, then looked anxiously into her face. Her eyelids drooped.

“Ellen?” he whispered hoarsely. Then louder, “Ellen?”

Ellen raised dull eyes to his. “You do love me, don’t you, Jesse? You won’t leave me?”

“No, Ellen, I won’t leave you.” His voice was thick and hoarse with anguish.

Summer and Sadie stood as if paralyzed. Sadie finally let the air escape from her lungs. Ellen was dying!

She followed Jesse into the house and threw the quilt back from the bed. Gently, he lowered Ellen down. The wound was high up in the middle of her stomach, her blood a bright blossom beneath her breast. He unbuttoned her bodice while Sadie went to fetch bandages.

Summer stood at the end of the bed holding tightly to Mary’s hand on one side and John Austin’s on the other. For once, the boy was awed into silence.

Jesse placed the wad of cloth on the wound and almost immediately it was soaked with bright blood. He placed another cloth on top of the first one and bent to remove Ellen’s shoes.

“I couldn’t let him shoot you, Jesse.” Ellen’s voice came suddenly. “He had a little temper fit, but he’ll get over it. He needs you, Jesse. He needs you to look after him. You’ll make things right, won’t you?”

“Yes, Ellen. I’ll make things right.”

“He didn’t make sure of Slater. He didn’t make sure he was dead. If only he’d let me help him plan things. But he’s a McLean and proud and stubborn and didn’t want his mama helping him.” She looked appealingly up at Jesse. “You’re not mad at him anymore?” Jesse shook his head and she tried to smile. “He’s a handsome boy. I’ve always been so proud of him.”

Sadie looked down on Jesse’s bent head and could hardly hold back the retort that came to her lips. She longed to shout that Travis was nothing to be proud of. In fact, he was nothing but a rotten . . . Tears filled her eyes. She went to the head of the bed, where Ellen couldn’t see her, and placed a hand on Jesse’s shoulder. Maybe her touch would tell him that she cared,

“He’s not as strong as you are, Jesse. Not as strong as his mama, either.” Ellen’s voice had surprising strength. “When I want something, I fight to get it. The only thing that I ever really wanted that I didn’t get was . . . Sam.” Her lips trembled and her face puckered as if she would cry.

She looks old, Sadie thought. She looks twenty years older than she did this morning. Her soft skin was almost yellow, her lips thin, and wrinkles creased the comers of her mouth. It was as if before she had kept herself young-looking by sheer willpower. She didn’t look cold and haughty like she did. She looked . . . pitiful.

“I did everything to win him. He’d tell me to go home to Scott. Scott was so dull and . . . adoring. He would forgive me anything.” She closed her eyes and each time Sadie wasn’t sure she would open them again.

Jack came in, stood silently looking down, then laid his hand on Jesse’s shoulder briefly and went out.

“It was that Nannie!” Ellen’s voice was weaker, but there was no mistaking the venom in it. “I was prettier and had a finer bosom. She was scrawny and backwoodsy.” Her face crumbled, tears slid out of the comers of her eyes. She lay quietly while Jesse wiped them away with the bed sheet.

Sadie put her lips close to Jesse’s ear. “Do you want me to go?”

He said just one word: “Stay.”

She touched his cheek with her hand and backed into the shadows. They were alone with the dying woman.

Summer fed the children their supper in the kitchen. She gave them cold mush and milk, and for a treat she let them smear the last of the honey on their cornbread.

Evening finally came. Sadie lit a lamp and set it on a shelf so only a dim light shone on the bed. Ellen talked in snatches. Sometimes it was to Jesse, other times to Travis or to Sam, as her mind wandered.

“When I got the letter I cried and cried. He had been to bed with . . . her. Gave her a child! He wouldn’t have me, but took her. I hated him! I wished he was dead a million times. I planned what I was going to do, Travis. Your mama can plan things.” It was difficult for her to breathe, but she continued to talk. “Jesse went off to get lumber for the new house and you, dear boy, were sporting with those vulgar women in town. I dressed up in your clothes and rode out with some men I hired. It was the grandest feeling!” She giggled, and blood came from her nose and streaked her cheek. Jesse gently wiped it away. “You should have seen Sam’s face when they shot him. I wish he’d known I was watching, that I had planned and waited for my chance to kill him. Only . . . I wanted Slater dead, too, but he didn’t die.” She looked pleadingly at Jesse, her eyes beginning to cloud. “Slater just won’t die, Jesse.”

She closed her eyes and almost immediately they flew open. “You won’t let me die, will you, Jesse? You . . . always take care of . . . me.” A great gush of blood came up and out of her mouth, soaking her, the bedclothes and Jesse’s hands clutched tightly in hers. She looked at him with startled, accusing eyes just before the second gush. The staring eyes remained open.

Minutes went by. Jesse loosened his hands from her death grip and took the wet cloth Sadie offered. After wiping his hands, he gently closed Ellen’s eyelids and washed the blood from her face and hands. That done, he stood looking down at her.

“I’ll take care of her, Jesse.” Sadie stood beside him. “She has a clean dress in her valise.”

“I’ll thank you for it.”