This Matter Of Marriage (31 page)

“I…I'm not sure.”

“Is it 'cause you have a new boyfriend?”

Hallie smiled and shook her head. “No.”

Kenny was silent for a couple of minutes. “Did you know Kip's back?”

“Yes—Meagan told me.” Although Hallie wasn't sure of the details.

“He's divorced. Mom thought he might be a big-mist, but he's not.”

“I'm glad to hear that.” Hallie could appreciate the worry Mary Lynn had suffered while that mess got itself sorted out. It explained, too, what the big crisis had been when Steve disappeared overnight. Not for the first time, she felt guilty of overreaction that miserable Monday morning.

“I asked Dad if he was going to marry again. You wanna know what he said?”

“No.”

Kenny acted as if he hadn't heard her. “He said that if he couldn't marry you, there wasn't anyone else he was interested in. He decided to join a men's bowling league this year.”

Hallie wasn't sure of the significance of the men's bowling league, but she did understand the first part of what Kenny had told her. Her heart felt weak with excitement.

“Excuse me.” She heard Steve's familiar voice behind her. “I'd like to cut in.”

“Sure, Dad.” Kenny beamed his father a huge smile and walked off the dance floor.

S
teve couldn't figure out what had prompted him to ask Hallie to dance. One thing was sure: the minute she walked into his embrace he was sorry he'd asked her. Her body, all soft and feminine, gently gliding into his arms, was the purest form of torture he'd ever experienced.

Steve closed his eyes. This was heaven. No, it was hell. He didn't want to feel the things he did for this woman, but had found himself incapable of
not
feeling them. Of forgetting. She haunted his dreams, and seemingly dissatisfied with that, she haunted every waking minute, as well.

As luck would have it, the music was slow and sultry. He noticed that neither of them felt compelled to speak. Steve suspected he couldn't have gotten a word out, even if he'd known what to say. Hallie in his arms again was enough. It felt incredibly good—too damn good. He scowled. She was the one who'd slammed the door in his face. She was the one who'd put her house on the market and moved. Talk about cutting her losses! With little more than a backward glance, she'd cast him out of her life. Well, a man had his pride, and although it had been mighty cold comfort, he wasn't crawling back to her. No, siree. Not him.

Nor was he interested in a woman who hightailed it out at the first sign of trouble. What irked him most was that their entire argument had centered on Mary Lynn. She'd called him in great relief a few days after her panic attack and told him Kip
had
gotten the divorce and had shown her the papers to prove it. While he was pleased Mary Lynn wasn't involved with a bigamist, her news had come too late to help him. He'd already lost Hallie.

The music ended and they parted, and both of their own accord moved off the dance floor and in different directions, Steve to his table where the kids were waiting, and Hallie to another. Over the next couple of hours Steve noticed that Hallie danced with a number of other partners. He stopped counting how many after six. When he couldn't stand to watch any longer, he turned his back to the dance floor. He had another glass of champagne, danced with Meagan and then with someone's great-aunt.

“Aren't you going to dance with Hallie again?” Kenny asked.

“No.” He downed the last of his champagne in one big gulp, then snared a fresh glass from a passing waiter. He drank enough to dull the ache in his heart and increase the one in his groin. That he'd never gone to bed with Hallie was a blessing in disguise. He wanted her even now. He couldn't, wouldn't, lie to himself about that. But he feared that if they
had
made love, he'd never have found the strength to let her walk out of his life.

“Did you ask her to be your bowling partner?” Meagan demanded.

Steve shook his head. He could tell he was a big disappointment to his children. They loved Hallie. Well, they weren't alone, but a man had his limits.

“Hallie's not dating anyone,” Kenny told him. “I asked her.”

“Let's talk about something else, all right?”

“Mom's remarried,” Meagan reminded him, tugging at his sleeve.

His daughter's assessment caught him off guard. He didn't need anyone to remind him that Mary Lynn was out of his life. It was Hallie he wanted, Hallie he longed for. Hallie who owned his heart.

Without questioning the right or wrong of it, he set the champagne glass aside and strolled across the room to where she was standing. The music had started again. Another slow ballad.

Wordlessly he offered her his hand. She hesitated before giving him hers. Then he led the way to the dance floor.

“We already danced,” she whispered, sounding nervous. “Twice.”

“I know. The first two times were for appearance's sake. This time it's for me.” He brought her close, close enough to feel her breasts against his chest. Close enough to tell her without words the powerful effect she had on him.

She held herself stiff and unyielding. “For you? I don't understand.”

“You seem to forget I was denied the pleasure of making love to you.”

Her chin shot up to a lofty angle. “Not for lack of opportunity.”

“I'll admit the fault was my own.”

This seemed to appease her. “It seems this may well be my last chance,” he said.

“You're not making any sense. Maybe we should stop now.”

“Not on your life.” He moistened the side of her neck with the tip of his tongue and was gratified to feel reaction ripple through her.

“Steve…I don't think this is a good idea.” Her protest was weak. He saw she'd closed her eyes and seemed to have trouble holding up her head.

While his options were limited, especially with his children looking on, Steve didn't let the mere fact that two hundred people were watching stand in his way. His imagination would work just fine. With his mouth close to her ear, he told her in scintillating detail how he'd planned to love her. How he'd dreamed of it every night since, thought of little else but having her in his bed—and in his life.

While their bodies swayed gently to the music, he held her mesmerized with a whispered account of how he'd intended to satiate their need for each other. Sparing nothing, he told her all they'd missed, all that their pride had cost them.

He didn't know that his words were having the desired effect until he heard her soft gasp against his throat.

The music ended, but they didn't leave the dance floor. Didn't move out of each other's embrace. His arms tightened as he realized that if he lost Hallie this time, he'd forever regret it.

He'd assumed, he'd hoped, that the music would start again. It didn't. Instead, there was an announcement that Donnalee was about to throw the bridal bouquet.

Hallie eased herself out of Steve's arms, keeping her gaze lowered.

Steve glanced over his shoulder to discover that a group of eager young women had gathered around Donnalee, jockeying for position.

Donnalee stood on tiptoe. “Hallie, where are you?”

“I…have to go.”

“So I see,” he muttered, more than a little disgruntled.

She moved away from him, joining the entourage crowding the bride. Hallie made her way to the back and raised her arms. Once she saw her best friend, Donnalee turned and blithely tossed the bouquet over her shoulder.

It seemed to Steve that she aimed for Hallie, but it wasn't Hallie who captured the prize. A girl, hardly older than Meagan, leapt a good three feet off the ground and grabbed the bouquet in midair. Grumbles and murmurs followed as the teenager displayed the prize, waving it exuberantly over her head. Steve smiled at her display of joy, but when he went to look for Hallie again, he discovered she was gone.

Gone.

The best Steve could figure, she'd disappeared with Donnalee, who had changed out of her wedding dress and into a pretty pink suit before leaving with Todd for the airport.

She'd be back, he reassured himself. He could be patient; considering how long he'd waited already, a few extra minutes wouldn't hurt.

Hallie never did return to the reception.

Defeated, Steve sat with Meagan and Kenny. It was for the best, he tried to convince himself. It was over. That was the way she wanted it. From this point on, there'd be no need to see each other again.

Steve didn't believe any of it.

As soon as he could leave without seeming impolite, Steve took his kids home. They both seemed tired and out of sorts, and his own mood wasn't much better. But despite his misgivings about being with Hallie again, he'd enjoyed the wedding. He'd certainly enjoyed dancing with her.

Today had brought back all the memories and all the hopes, the recollections of what could have been. Todd's happiness pleased him and at the same time made him conscious of his own loneliness. It also emboldened him. Maybe it wasn't too late for him and Hallie….

“I'm going to bed,” Kenny said as soon as they got home. He'd already removed the suit coat and was working on the tie.

“I am, too,” Meagan chimed, yanking off her party shoes.

“I'm going out,” Steve announced.

Meagan and Kenny stopped what they were doing and stared.

“Where are you going?”

The decision made, Steve didn't hesitate. “To talk to Hallie.”

Kenny inserted two fingers in his mouth and let out a whistle loud enough to shatter crystal. Then he and Meagan exchanged high tens, slapping hands with their arms raised above their heads.

“Go for it, Dad.”

“Yeah!” Kenny had finally managed to pull off his tie, and now he twirled it around like a New Year's streamer. “We want you to marry her.”

“A lot has to be decided before we talk about marriage.” Unsure how this meeting would go, Steve didn't want to build up his children's expectations.

“I knew she was the one for you ages ago,” Meagan said, sounding very much like the teenager she was soon to become. It wouldn't be long now before she was convinced she was far wiser than any of the adults in her life.

“I said so first,” Kenny argued.

“No,
I
did,” Meagan returned with an air of superiority. “I told you I thought Hallie would be a good wife for Dad the very first time we met her. Remember?”

Whether or not he did, Kenny wasn't about to admit it.

“I don't know how long I'll be,” Steve said.

“Take your time,” Meagan told him.

“All the time you need,” his son added.

Steve hurried out to his car, and as he started the engine, he saw Meagan and Kenny standing in the window, watching him. He waved and they excitedly waved back.

On the short drive to Federal Way, Steve mulled over his approach. After a quick stop at the grocery, he pulled into the guest parking lot at her new complex. It took him another ten minutes to find her apartment. After checking the number against the one listed on the folded sheet of notebook paper, he stepped onto the porch. If the lights were any indication, she was home.

His head was spinning, his skin was clammy, and his heart was dangling precariously from his sleeve when he pushed her doorbell. The door opened and his carefully thought-out greeting stuck in his throat.

A man answered. “Yes?” He was tall and young, too young for Hallie.

“I must have the wrong number.” Frowning, Steve glanced down at his paper a second time, wondering if he'd copied the information incorrectly.

“Are you looking for Hallie McCarthy?”

Steve's face shot up. “Yes.”

“Then come on in. She's in the bedroom with the baby.”

Steve realized he was frowning again.

“I'm Jason, Julie's husband.”

“Ah, yes.” As Steve told him who he was and the two exchanged handshakes, Steve remembered that Julie was Hallie's little sister. Baby Ellen's mother. Come to think of it, Hallie owed him major bucks for his help in getting the baby to sleep that night last spring.

“Julie and I are on our way to Hawaii, and we're spending the night with Hallie before we catch a flight in the morning.”

“I see,” Steve muttered. His timing couldn't have been worse. “Perhaps I should talk to Hallie later.” Not knowing what else to do with the bouquet of yellow roses he'd bought, he set them on top of the television.

He was halfway to the parking lot when he heard Hallie shout his name. He turned, shoulders squared, back rigid.

“If you walk away from me now, Steve Marris, there'll be hell to pay.”

Hallie stood there, arms akimbo. “Is there a reason you brought me flowers?”

“Yes,” he said, playing it cool. “It's a wedding bouquet. You were cheated back there and I wanted to give you another chance to catch it.”

“Are you going to provide the groom to go with those flowers?” she asked, not missing a beat.

“That all depends,” he called back. It seemed silly to be standing half a football field apart shouting at each other. He took several steps in her direction. She did likewise. They stopped with about five feet still between them.

“Why are you here?” she asked softly, her beautiful eyes pleading with him to say what she wanted to hear. “And if you tell me it's because you need a bowling partner, you go straight to jail.”

“If I told you I loved you, would that get me past Go so I can collect my two hundred dollars?”

“It's a step in the right direction.”

He grinned.

“Why do you love me?” she asked.

“Why?” Of all the things he'd expected her to say, this wasn't it. He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck, giving her a puzzled look. “No one told me there'd be a test.”

“Is it so difficult?”

“No.” But he had to get the answer right; he didn't want there to be any room for doubt.

“Because of Meagan and Kenny?”