This Song Will Save Your Life (29 page)

I laughed again. “Hey, Harry,” I said, and then I stopped.

“Yes, Elise?”

I swallowed. “Do you want to go to a way less exciting party tomorrow night?”

“With you?” Harry asked.

“Yeah. It’s called the Glendale High Freshman/Sophomore Summer Formal. It’s in the school gym.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll totally go to that with you.”

We looked at each other and smiled. We were still looking at each other when the sound cut out.

I registered the shock on Harry’s face an instant before I realized that the music had stopped. Frantic, I fumbled with the computer, the mixer, the wires, everything, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. I couldn’t find the problem. I didn’t know. Char had been right: I was too young, too inexperienced, and of course I had screwed this up. And he wasn’t here; there was nobody to rescue me from silence.

Only there was no silence.

Everyone in that room kept singing, as though the music was still with them—no, more than singing,
screaming
really, insistent, off-tune, beautiful.

“Because we! are! your friends! you’ll never be alone again! Well, come on! Well, come on! Well, come on! Well, come on!”

Their hands were in the air, raised toward me, heads thrown back, a spinning collection of lights and sound and people. An instant later, I figured out which wire I had knocked out. I replugged it and the song kicked back in, exactly in time with the singing crowd. And they all went nuts.

“Because we are your friends, you’ll never be alone again!”

And for the first time in my life, I knew that was true.

I caught my breath, took a big gulp of water, and smiled. My party raged on.

You think it’s so easy to change yourself. You think it’s so easy, but it’s not. True, things don’t stay the same forever: couches are replaced, boys leave, you discover a song, your body becomes forever scarred. And with each of these moments you change and change again, your true self spinning, shifting positions—but always at last it returns to you, like a dancer on the floor. Because throughout it all, you are still, always,
you
: beautiful and bruised, known and unknowable. And isn’t that—just you—enough?

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I am lucky to have so many supportive friends in my life, and it is thanks to their combined efforts that
This Song Will Save Your Life
came into being.

Thanks first and foremost to Joy Peskin, who is not only a friend to me, but also an extraordinary mentor, inspiration, teacher, and editor, too. I have been so fortunate to get to work with you over the years.

To the whole of Foundry Literary
+
Media, especially my agent, Stephen Barbara, for the devotion with which you take care of my career, and of me.

To the entire team at Farrar Straus Giroux, for welcoming me with such enthusiasm. Special thanks to Angie Chen, whose editorial insight is matched only by her talent with a pair of knitting needles; Elizabeth H. Clark, for the gorgeous cover design; and Kathryn Little and Molly Brouillette, for their energy and creativity.

To my copy editor and best parade-going friend, Kate Ritchey.
There are no grammatical errors in this book
. And if there are, that’s my fault, not Kate’s.

To my writing partner, Rebecca Serle, for dreaming big, and for daring me to dream even bigger.

To Katie Hanson, for sharing with me such a wonderful home for a writer to create.

To my parents, Amy Sales and Michael Sales, for, well, basically everything.

To all the DJs who have knowingly or unknowingly helped change my life. Special thanks to New York nightlife legend and international scenester, DJing skills consultant, and the voice of our generation, DJ VH1 (aka Brendan Sullivan). And to DJ Brian Blackout (aka Brian Pennington) for his kindness, ingenuity, sense of humor, and unwavering support.

To the book
How to DJ Right: The Art and Science of Playing Records
, by Frank Broughten and Bill Brewster, for showing me how to write about DJing right.

To my favorite dance-floor partners, including but not limited to Emily Haydock, Emily Heddleson, Kendra Levin, and Allison Smith.

Finally, thanks to all the dance parties that inspired and informed this novel, especially these: from Bristol, Ramshackle and Klub Kute; from New York City, Motherf*cker and Mondo; and from Boston, the Pill and, of course, Start.

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

The Start that Elise goes to doesn’t really exist, but there are indie dance nights all over the world that it’s based on. Here’s a list of some of the songs you might hear if you went to one of these parties—or if you start your own! Remember, good new music is released all the time, so this list is just to start you off.

“The Boy with the Arab Strap,” by Belle and Sebastian

“Girls and Boys,” by Blur

“Cannonball,” by the Breeders

“Dancing in the Dark,” by Bruce Springsteen

“Train in Vain,” by the Clash

“It’s Friday, I’m in Love,” by the Cure

“Just Like Heaven,” by the Cure

“A Letter to Elise,” by the Cure

“Lights & Music,” by Cut Copy

“Modern Love,” by David Bowie

“Just Can’t Get Enough,” Depeche Mode

“Come On Eileen,” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners

“Connection,” by Elastica

“A Little Respect,” by Erasure

“Ready for the Floor,” by Hot Chip

“Town Called Malice,” by the Jam

“Maple Leaves,” by Jens Lekman

“Head On,” by the Jesus and Mary Chain

“Love Will Tear Us Apart,” by Joy Division

“D.A.N.C.E.,” by Justice

“We Are Your Friends,” by Justice vs. Simian

“All These Things That I’ve Done,” by the Killers

“Victoria,” by the Kinks

“Daft Punk Is Playing at My House,” by LCD Soundsystem

“North American Scum,” by LCD Soundsystem

“Deceptacon,” by Le Tigre

“You! Me! Dancing!” by Los Campesinos

“Time to Pretend,” by MGMT

“Bizarre Love Triangle,” by New Order

“Blue Monday,” by New Order

“Temptation,” by New Order

“Smells Like Teen Spirit,” by Nirvana

“Young Folks,” by Peter, Bjorn and John

“1901,” by Phoenix

“Debaser,” by the Pixies

“Rocks,” by Primal Scream

“Common People,” by Pulp

“Mis-Shapes,” by Pulp

“Whoo! Alright—Yeah … Uh Huh,” by the Rapture

“Get Off of My Cloud,” by the Rolling Stones

“Panic,” by the Smiths

“This Charming Man,” by the Smiths

“Elephant Stone,” by the Stone Roses

“You Only Live Once,” by the Strokes

“Beautiful Ones,” by Suede

“Once in a Lifetime,” by the Talking Heads

“Born Slippy NUXX,” by Underworld

“Rock & Roll,” by the Velvet Underground

“Bitter Sweet Symphony,” by the Verve

“Baba O’Riley,” by the Who

Farrar Straus Giroux Books for Young Readers

175 Fifth Avenue, New York 10010

Copyright © 2013 by Leila Sales

All rights reserved

First hardcover edition, 2013

eBook edition, September 2013

macteenbooks.com

The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

Sales, Leila.

    This song will save your life / Leila Sales. — First edition.

        pages cm

    Summary: Nearly a year after a failed suicide attempt, sixteen-year-old Elise discovers that she has the passion, and the talent, to be a disc jockey.

    ISBN 978-0-374-35138-0 (hardcover)

    ISBN 978-0-374-35139-7 (e-book)

    [1.  Interpersonal relations—Fiction.   2.  Popularity—Fiction.   3.  High schools—Fiction.   4.  Schools—Fiction.   5.  Disc jockeys—Fiction.   6.  Suicide—Fiction.]   I.  Title.

PZ7.S15215Thi 2013

[Fic]—dc23

2012050408

eISBN 9780374351397

Lyrics from “Never Be Alone” by Simian, which were rerecorded as “We Are Your Friends” by Justice vs. Simian, used by permission of Oli Isaacs (This Is Music Ltd).