Authors: Fisher Amelie
“What’s up, doc?” I asked Casey.
“What’s up, baby girl?” Casey said, lifting me up and spinning me around. “Every time I see you, you just get more and more beautiful, January MacLochlainn. Still single?”
“Ha, ha, Casey. What are you playing tonight?” I asked, as he led me back to his makeshift studio, otherwise known as his garage.
“Thought I’d start with
Pampered Life
. What do you think?”
“That’s a strong start. Show me your list.”
I sat down at his keyboard as I read over his list. We spent most of the afternoon cleaning up his set, then stopped by The Salt Lick and ate before heading toward Stubb’s where his band, The Belle Jar, was opening for Circumvent.
Word around town was a talent scout for Seven Seas would be there to check out Circumvent. I really wanted The Belle Jar to be at their best. They were just as talented, if not more so, than Circumvent but had only been an Austin staple for about eight months.
“That’s him,” Casey said, nudging my shoulder with his. He pointed toward a blond guy wearing all black, but I could barely see him through the people crowding him.
“Who?”
Casey looked at me like I was a fool. “The Seven guy, doofus. Come on, we’ll get closer. Try to edge in on him. Can I use your body to get me noticed?”
“Oh, by all means.”
“Thanks, buttercup,” Casey said, ignoring the bite in my words and disturbing the top of my hair.
“You’re an idiot, Casey.”
“I love you too, January. Fix your hair, it looks like shit.”
I rolled my eyes at him and ran my fingers through my hair. We hedged through the crowd to AWOLNATION’s
Not Your Fault,
finally finding this mystery guy slumped over the bar, again, surrounded by twenty people hoping to get his attention. Let me clarify, the twenty
girls
trying to get his attention.
When we got close enough and I could get a good enough view of him, I was forced to stop short. My heart beat wildly in my chest. My tongue swelled in my mouth and my chest felt constricted. My blood rushed through my veins, heating up my face and neck. He was unbelievably gorgeous. My hand flew to my neck to hide the obvious red I knew was painted there, a telltale sign that I was
intrigued
by something. Casey knew about this little trait I held and never let it down when it made an appearance.
He was tall, taller than most everyone in that room. He rested his forearms on the bar in front of him, a pair of callused hands, giving him away as a musician, nursing a pint on the flat wood before him. His hair reached just below his ears, which he tucked behind, and his goatee was a little scruffier than I usually liked but then again, I’d never been attracted to an actual
man
before. Mostly, my silly crushes belonged to some fellow teenager and usually ended as quickly as they started. He was frightening yet compelling all at the same time. I felt like a moth to a flame. My hands itched to run my fingers through his hair and along his jaw line. My eyes were transfixed on his mouth.
Snap.
“Come on, redneck.” I cringed. “Yeah, didn’t think I’d see that, did you? Well, I did. Come on.” But just as Casey reached him, the lead for Circumvent beat him to the punch. Casey retreated.
“What are you doing?” I asked him. “Go up there.”
“Nah, I can’t move in when Stephen’s there. I’ll have to wait.”
“Pansy.”
“Okay,
redneck
. Let’s go catch up with the guys. You can help me tune my keyboard.”
“Hardy, har, har,” I said absently, not able to take my eyes off the scout for Seven. I didn’t move though. No, I dumbly stood there, staring like an idiot. I watched his beautiful mouth and teeth as he made conversation with Stephen. I imagined my own lips meeting his...Casey surprised me by throwing me over his shoulders and started to walk away, briefly distracting the Scout and Stephen from Circumvent.
The blush I knew was staining my entire body by that point boiled to an unnatural heat, and I tried to smile at the both of them but found my stare burning solely through the blue eyes that belonged to the scout. He eyed me with a hard expression, my insides came unglued a bit in alarm but also a little bit in excitement. I was Dali’s melting clock personified at that moment. I felt like burning wax down Casey’s back.
Casey set me down backstage after an embarrassing walk through the bar, a walk where the scout’s eyes never left mine until we’d rounded a corner. I was humiliated.
“Gosh damn it, Casey!” I said, slapping his shoulder repeatedly. My hits felt like being pelted with cotton balls apparently because Casey was red with laughter. “You made a fool out of me!”
“Oh, calm down, January. He probably won’t even remember you. He lives in this scene, remember? Sees that kind of nonsense all the time.”
“Thanks, that’s very comforting.” I dropped my voice an octave. “No worries, January,” I mocked. “You’re not memorable enough to remember. You’re invisible.”
Casey’s face softened. “Oh, baby girl, I’m sorry,” he said, hugging me closely. “You’re right. I apologize.”
“It’s okay, idiot.”
Casey hugged me tighter. “You know you’re memorable, right?”
“Sure, sure,” I said, fighting back stupid tears.
“No,” he said, bringing me out from under his arms, looking at me with a pained expression. “I’m serious, January. You’re one of the most beautiful women I know, inside
and
out. If I wasn’t in love with Sunny, I’d be all over you like white on rice.”
“Shut up,” I said grinning and shaking my head. “Let’s go
tune
your
keyboard
.”
We walked to the band room The Belle Jar was readying for the show in and I helped the band learn a lot of the key changes we’d made that afternoon. When I left to join the crowd at the bottom of the stage, I couldn't remember a time they sounded better to me. They were going to knock the scout’s socks off the way he knocked me out of mine.
I positioned myself up front next to Sunny and we linked arms.
“Did you see him?” she asked.
“Yes! My God, Sunny. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone sexier than that scout.”
“Scout? I meant Casey, but now I’m no longer interested in whether you’ve seen Casey,” she said, her eyes roaming the crowd around us. She pulled me closely. “Who is this scout?”
“Seven Seas has a scout here to see Circumvent.”
“Oh yeah, Casey mentioned something like that to me.”
I stared at her in wonder. “I swear, woman! This is a huge deal!”
“I know, I know! I remember now.”
I rolled my eyes playfully at her. We talked for a few minutes before The Belle Jar began to set up their instruments at eleven, readying for the show.
“Be right back,” I said. “I’m going for a water. You want one?” I asked Sunny.
“Nah, I’m fine.”
“’Kay, save my spot, missus.”
I ran toward the bar and stood behind a few people waiting to be served. I kept throwing a head over my shoulder to spot the scout.
I’m a freaking maniac! Why can’t I get this guy outta my head? I need to focus!
“What’s your poison?” The guy next to me asked.
I smiled at him. “I don’t drink. Still underage.” I held up my black x-ed hands in proof. “I’m in line for water. Boring, I know.”
This usually worked, but not with this guy.
“That’s cool. What are you doing out here tonight?”
“Oh, I’m here for The Belle Jar. I helped them clean up a few songs for tonight’s show. There’s a Seven scout in the audience for Circumvent tonight and I want them at their best. They’re brilliant.”
“Very cool. So, you’re a musician?” he asked as we inched closer to the bar. It was still ten feet away.
“Yeah, a pianist.” I turned my head away and fought a private grin.
“What’s so funny?” he asked, confused.
“Oh, nothing. I-well,” I said, facing him, “it’s just, I threw away a full scholarship to Berkeley for music to stay in town and help
other
musicians become successful. It just dawned on me how ironic that was. I find that hilarious.”
“That
is
...funny,” he said, not finding it funny in the least.
“I know it’s not funny, ha-ha, it’s funny, ridiculous.”
“Ah, I see.” He looked around a bit, decided he was bored enough to continue the conversation and asked, “So do you like Circumvent?”
“Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t dare step on an Austin staple like Circumvent’s toes but, yeah, they’re okay.”
“No, really, tell me. I don’t know about them. First time seeing them, actually. Enlighten me.”
I bit my bottom lip, contemplating ragging on this band that was merely okay. “You tell anyone I thought this, I’d have to kill you, capiche?”
“Lips are sealed,” he said, leaning closer.
“Circumvent,” I began, “have an incredible base which is fairly impressive, but I believe that’s because of longevity mostly. Their talent is mediocre, their songs catchy but a bit too commercial, and their stage presence lacks. They’re just, ‘meh.’ They lack the talent to really push themselves over the edge, to put them in a position to gain a national following.” As I spoke, the guy was leaning closer and closer to me. He looked at me like he’d just noticed me. “What?” I asked.
“What are you doing for a living right
now.
...?”
“Oh, sorry,” I said. “I’m January.”
“I’m Jason,” the guy said, holding out his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Jason,” I said, taking his hand before dropping it. “I’m, uh, currently unemployed,” I said, laughing.
“Cool, cool. Don’t go anywhere after the show, okay?”
“Uh, okay,” I said, eyeing him strangely.
“I’m not a freak. I promise,” he said. “Just hang around in the crowd after the show. I’ll find you.”
“Why?” I asked him as he stalked off outside, forgetting why he was standing in line.
“Trust me. It’ll be worth sticking around for.”
This equally intrigued me as well as frightened me but not enough that I wouldn’t find out what it was all about.
After I got my water, I headed back up front and squeezed my way through the crowd back to Sunny’s side, but she was nowhere to be seen so I stood lamely by myself. I didn’t care that much actually because I wanted a good “seat” for The Belle Jar. I wanted to be near the stage because there was a chance I needed to help cue Will on bass as he kept missing his new entrance on their third song.
Pampered Life
shot out like a rocket from the beginning and blanketed the crowd around me, making everyone stunned by the power of it. It wasn’t long before everyone realized that The Belle Jar was a force to be reckoned with. I was so proud of them, riding high on their talent right along with them.
Seemingly out of nowhere, my breath was wrestled out of my chest when I saw
him
inch closer to the stage, a quiet towering figure, eyes intent on the stage.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Breathe, January. Breathe.
He watched The Belle Jar with rapt attention. As I looked on him, my feet pushed themselves closer on their own accord. I was being pulled toward him by an unseen force. I found my feet planted right next to him but couldn’t bring myself to look up at him. He was too magnificent to behold, really. He smelled so delicious I could have eaten him with a spoon. He was all man, no boy in him at all. I peeked briefly at his hands and guessed he probably played the bass judging by the size and location of the calluses.
I wanted to take his hands in mine and study them for hours, rub my thumbs over the worn bits of skin and warm them with my touch. The attraction I felt for him was heady and nothing like I’d ever felt for anyone before. My eyes followed his heavily clad feet, up his worn jeans, and around his wallet chain. I froze, not wanting to take it further, not wanting to know what I’d do if I went any higher.
A minute passed before my gaze traveled over the little bit of wide leather belt exposed under his dark, weighty hoodie and jacket. My eyes stopped at his goatee and I felt his considerable stare on my own face. He’d discovered me, but I was too enthralled to be embarrassed then. I reached up and met my eyes with his. They pierced me like an arrow, those ice blue eyes.
I don’t know what came over me. I couldn’t help myself it seems, and I watched my right hand travel up his arm slowly, glide over his shoulder, hesitate at his neck, but push further past the boundaries of sane as the back of my fingers trailed over the line of his jaw. I was pulled into the incredible magic this guy possessed over me. His skin was warm and surprisingly soft. His eyes closed at the feel of my hand, his jaw clenched slightly. I was distracted as his chest pumped with each deep intake of breath.
He surprised me when he turned more fully toward me and reached down, deliberately threading both his hands through my hair and bringing his face closely to mine. He narrowed his eyes, his brows furrowed slightly, conflict written in droves in the lines of his face. He took a deep breath in through his nose, languidly closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.
Sluggishly, I brought his beautiful mouth to mine. He tasted of mint and a little bit of yeast from the beer I saw him drinking at the bar earlier. It was the sweetest, most delicious flavor I’d ever tasted and, God, I wanted more. There was no shame in my motions as I gripped the front of his hoodie in both my hands and delved my tongue deeper into his mouth. The kiss became feverish, dangerous, heated. He moved one of his hands from my hair to the back of my neck and traced his fingers down to the small of my back, pressing me deeper into his chest and hips, inciting a slight moan from me which only spurred him on more.
Suddenly, his eyes shot open in realization. He broke it abruptly, pushed me away lightly and set me right on my feet. I felt bereft of something but didn’t know what that something was. I didn’t know this guy, didn’t know his name, yet it didn’t scare me or make me feel ashamed in any way. It felt right, so very right.