Thorneless (Rose of Thorne Series) (3 page)

Sebastian

I’ve lost her. I’ve lost her!!! My heart is being ripped in two!! Dear Lord make this pain go away.  Please!!

The door of the antique bar in my office shatters as I furiously shove my fist through the glass. For the past five years, my father’s favorite bottle of Dalmore 64 Trinitas has sat unopened in that case.
 At $160,000 a bottle, the aged Scotch had been my father’s choice of drink.  I had kept it here to remind me of the man I hated and to remind me of the horrific mistake I had made so long ago.

Through the broken glass, I retrieve the bottle of scotch and one of the crystal bar glasses sitting beside it.
 Ignoring the bright red blood that now pours down my arm, I blow the broken fragments out of the drinking glass and remove the top off of the bottle.  The strong smell of aged liquor fills the air in my office and I can instantly feel my father right there next to me . . . taunting me.

‘Go ahead son. Take that drink! She’s left your miserable ass.
 Drink.  Who needs the bitch?  Drink!’

I fill the glass halfway full and lift it up to my mouth. Tilting it back, I can taste the whiskey on my lips.
 I want to forget her.  I want this pain to go away.  I’ve lost her forever and without her—I have nothing.  I don’t want my company or the money. I never wanted any of it in the first place. It’d been tainted from the beginning—corrupted from my father’s sweat, lies and deceit.  Right now, all I want is this drink. Right now, all I want is for this excruciating pain in my soul to go away.               

I’m dying. I can’t live without her. I can still feel her sweet touch on my skin. Her intoxicating taste is still on my tongue. My cock still aches to be inside her warm tight folds and coated with her wet release.
 She’s embedded in me. There’s no surviving this.

Is my heart even beating anymore? Please baby. PLEASE!! Come back to me!

‘Drink!  She’s never coming back! You are such a fuck up to the Thorne name! Drink you fucking coward!’

Hesitantly, I open my lips and allow the warm expensive liquid to fill my mouth. My father remains in my head.

Forgetting her will be so easy.
 
Swallow . . . just swallow!  Remember? She told you that she could never forgive you. She’s gone. She’s not coming back this time! It’s over! SWALLOW!

Only
I can’t . . . I won’t. I spit the dark fluid out across the wood floor, and then turn to throw my glass against the stone office wall.  I begin violently wiping my mouth off with the back of my hand and then pick up the bottle of scotch and stare down at it.
 
If this represents everything I hate, then why do I still have it?  I certainly don’t need any reminders. Those reminders chase me every night in my sleep as it is.

“FUCK YOU
, FATHER!”  I roar and with trembling hands. I rare back and toss the bottle against the wall. I stand there and witness the expensive dark brown liquid run down it. I smile wickedly knowing just how pissed off that would’ve made my father.  

Grief stricken, I make my way over to my desk and sit in my large leather chair. I remove her ring from my pocket and stare at the infinity symbol of diamonds. Lightly I trace the delicate jewels around the design. Just like the symbol, my love for her has no beginning or end.
 I can’t remember a time not loving her and I’ll never know a day that I won’t.

This ring should still be on her sweet elegant finger.
 

I glance over at the picture that sits proudly on my desk.
 It’s the picture of me kneeling down on the beach, as I proposed to Skylar.

The picture of the happiest day of my life!

Kylie had perfectly captured this beautiful moment and gave it to us when we returned back from our trip.  I think I’ve looked at it at least a million times since she walked out that door.  What I wouldn’t give to turn back time to get that moment back with her.

Sweet Jesus! My soul is being ripped into!

It’s been five days now, and I’ve yet to leave my penthouse.  I rarely eat—I rarely sleep.  I basically have set up camp in the living room, right where I can see the elevator door—if she comes back home.

If she comes back home?

I mean, she has to come back sometime for her things, doesn’t she? Either way, I can’t take a chance on missing her if she does.  My phone rings and I instantly answer it without any hesitation.

Please, oh please let this be her.

“Sebastian, darling! How are you holding up?” Sara’s kind voice asks over the phone.

“I’m fine Sara
—is there something you need?” I reply dryly. I don’t want her to hear the pain in my voice.

“Dear, I hate to have to do this, but Skylar has asked me to make arrangements for her things to be moved out of the penthouse tomorrow.
 Will that be okay with you?”  She hesitantly asks me.

No, it’s not fucking ok with me! Does she really think that the love of my life moving out will be okay with me?
 

“
The movers will be there around noon and I’ve made arrangements to be there to oversee things, so you don’t have to be.  I know this is difficult for your darling,” she says sadly.

“There’s no need for you to be here tomorrow, Sara, I’ll be here to let them in,” I reply, trying to sound unaffected by tomorrow’s plan.

“Do you think that’s wise dear?” Sara asks with a concerned tone.

“Nothing I ever do is wise, Sara.
 Just tell the movers tomorrow at noon will be fine.”

“I will and sweetheart, if there is anything you need, please call me.
 Anytime. I mean that.”

I know she means every word.
 Sara is a wonderful assistant and friend, but I look at her as more of a part of my family than as an employee.

“Thank you Sara,” I add and end the call.
 I run my fingers through my hair and tug.  She won’t answer my phone calls and I know she won’t speak to me face to face.  So I do the only thing I know how to do—I pour my heart and soul into the words of my letter to her.

I watch the movers tape
closed the box holding the last of her things and I stare down at the envelope in my shaking hands.
Should I have the movers give her this?
 This note completely bares my soul to her.  I’m a coward, but I know she will never allow me the opportunity to say these words face to face, so this is my only option. I just pray she’ll read it and will one day find it in her beautiful pure heart to forgive me. My dream is that she finds her way back to me, but as long as I know she is truly happy, that’s all that matters.  I deserve the fate of which this life has dealt me, but she doesn’t.

“Is this everything, sir?” the short young mover asks me, as he sits the box down and wipes the sweat from his brow. I see the box marked ‘Personal Albums and Pictures’ and instantly I have an idea.

“No, can you please add this to that last box there?” I ask and anxiously hand him the envelope.

“Sure,” he replies.
 He places it inside the white cardboard box and begins sealing it up with tape.   Moments later, they’re leaving and I’m left surrounded in the emptiness of the home that we once shared. I lean back against our bedroom wall and stare at the now empty side of the closet.  I ease down the wall and collapse onto the floor. I feel my chest slam with pain and feel my body begin to shake with uncontrollable sobs. Her things may be gone, but her memory . . . her touch, will continue to haunt every corner of this place. She is, and will forever be my life.

Skylar

“Which box are you looking for?” Kylie asks me as we stand in the large storage building.

“The movers said they marked it ‘Personal Items and Pictures’ on the outside.
 It has my picture albums in it and I wanted it before I leave next week,” I reply.

“I still can’t believe you’re leaving me to go explore the world with Mr. Hot
Stuff,” she jokes while wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

“You know I’m going to miss you like fucking crazy girl, but you have your new job and Nik now.
 Sophie’s gone off to college, so there isn’t any reason for me not to take Lucas’ job offer.  Right now there’s still too much pain for me here. I need to heal and I can’t do that if I stay,” I explain.

“I know honey, but I just wish you would just talk to me. We’ve been best friends since we were three years old
.  I know this has to be devastating you, Sky.  I want to help you, but you won’t let me. It’s not good for you to keep all this inside you like you’re doing,” she says with tears in her eyes.

“I told you that I’m fine, Kylie.
 It’s over between Sebastian and me. There isn’t anything else to discuss.”

“Oh don’t give me that shit, Skylar!
 There is plenty to discuss and you fucking know it!  A week ago, you were the happiest I’d ever seen you. You were about to get married for fuck’s sake! Now all of a sudden it’s over and you won’t even tell me why? Do you have any idea how much it kills me to see you like this? You walk around here like a fucking zombie, not eating and not sleeping.  Hell, I haven’t even seen you cry Skylar!  Are you sure you two can’t still work this out?”

“There is no working this out
, Kylie. I’ve told you that.  I’ve been through so much shit in my life that I guess I’m all out of tears,” I said angrily.  “Even if I wasn’t, he isn’t worth them. He did something that I can
never
forgive him for! It’s
over
between us, so please just drop it alright?”

“I mean
, did he cheat on you or something? I just know that man fucking loves you more than life itself and I can’t see him doing something so unforgivable, Sky.  Are you sure you have your facts straight on whatever it was you think he did?”

“Yes
, I have
all
my facts straight! He lied to me about something, Kylie, and it wasn’t something little!” I shout as I slam down the box that I’m holding. “It’s the kind of lie that there’s no coming back from!  I don’t want to talk about it, please.”

“Fine! I’ll drop it!
 But I still think you are making the worst mistake of your life by letting him go like this.  If you really love someone, you fight for him or her, Skylar. You don’t push that person out of your life or run away from them like you’re doing.”

“I’m not running away!
Do you not realize that because of him, I can’t go back to a job that I love or to a place to live that actually felt like a home?  I can’t stay in this town and see all the million little reminders of him or of the people who are gone from my life. It’s time I move on.  This is a chance for me to see the world and to get away for a while. Just please don’t be against me doing this.  I need you on my side with this. Please understand that I need to do this for me.”

“I know
, honey. I just love you and I hate seeing you go through all of this,” Kylie says sympathetically.

“I love you
, too, Kyles.  I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be okay.”

Who am I trying to fool? Would I ever really be okay again? I can’t even convince myself of that much less my best friend!

“Found it!” She exclaims as she drags out the box we had been searching for.

Carefully, I remove t
he tape from the outside of it and begin folding back the cardboard praying that they had packed it correctly.  I see the two small picture albums to the side and breathe a sigh of relief.  

There is no way I can be gone for months without
being able to look at my parents’ picture.

Suddenly, a small white envelope catches my eye and I instantly recognize the elegant handwriting on top.
Sebastian
. With trembling hands, I reach down and lift it out of the box. I can’t stop shaking and I can feel the pulse in my neck thumping against my skin.  

What is this doing in that box? Did he put it in there himself?

“What’s that?” Kylie asks me, as she curiously peeks over my shoulder.

“It’s um . . . a letter from Sebastian, but I don’t know why it’s in that box,” I answer her while trying to hide the emotion in my voice.

“Well? What are you waiting on? Aren’t you going to open it up and read it?” she asks curiously while my mind fights with my heart.

Open the letter. Come on. He’s reaching out to you.
             

“No, not right now. I don’t want to look at it,” I explain as I toss the letter on the top of the box beside me.
 Who am I kidding? Part of me wants to rip it open, while the other part of me wants to strike a match to it and watch it burn.  
Why did he have to go and do this? I’m leaving in just a few days and the last thing I can deal with right now is this damn letter.

“Do you want me to open it and read it to you?” she asks me.

“No, I’m not ready to read it—I need more time.”

I need Sebastian.

“Suit yourself there then, sister. I’ll take this box on out to my car.  Why don’t you lock it up and we’ll go grab some lunch or something. I’m craving tacos and margaritas.”

“Sure, that sounds good, I’ll be right there,” I reply as I watch her turn and leave.

I wait until she is out of sight and then I pick the envelope back up.

S
lowly, I trace the elegant lines of the black ink on the front. Something about the way he wrote my name sends chills down my spine. It is so personal, so intimate.   My curiosity is driving me insane, but I just can’t bring myself to open it.  In order to move past him, I have to prevent him from having control over me.  This little thing in my hand already holds too much control and I hate him even more for that.  Shoving the envelope down into my purse, I lock up the storage unit and head out to Kylie’s car.  Right now those margaritas are sounding pretty damn good.

After lunch, Kylie convinced me to do a little shopping for my trip. Using some of my money that I had gotten from selling my
Granma’s house, I began making the first steps toward my future. Kylie helps me pick out a new set of luggage and outfits for the trip.  I have to admit; it had felt amazing trying on all of those clothes and shoes.   I don’t want to wear or bring anything with me that Sebastian had bought me or complimented me on. If this is going to be a completely new fresh start for me, then I intend on doing it right from the beginning.

So many of these things that lay across Kylie’s bed, I would have never picked out for myself.
 This is who I am now and I am excited to show the world the new Skylar.

I lay the new suitcase across the bed and begin my daunting task of packing.
How exactly does one pack for a trip around the world?  
I guess they pack everything.

After a few hours of rearranging and shoving, I now have everything packed and ready for the airport.
 Kylie and I had decided to spend our last night here together out having some fun. We’re headed to a new hot little club downtown for some drinks.  I don’t need to spend any more time moping about my life. Tonight, I just want to forget that I ever knew the name Sebastian Thorne.  With a new outfit and a new attitude, I bid farewell to the old Skylar and welcome the numbness that the new one feels.

For the rest of the night, we
dance; we drink, and shamelessly flirt with men at the bar.  I even welcome a stranger’s arms around me as we grind on the dance floor together. Later, I also welcome his lips against my neck in the hallway of the dark club. His touch and his smell don’t have any effect on me.  Instead, I stand there and allow the alcohol to surge through my body and give me the courage I need to forget.

 
I must forget.

 
Tonight, I feel as if I am finally the one in control and I like it.

Around 2 am, Kylie is helping my very intoxicated self out the front door of the loud club. I hear her whispering something into her phone as she props me up against the cold brick wall that is behind me.

“Where are you?  Yeah, we are up front. Okay. Thanks,” she says and ends her call.

Who is she talking to? Wait! Why the fuck do I care?
 I feel terrific!!

A few seconds later a familiar motor rumbles around the corner and I immediately recognize the Aston Martin that’s pulling up to the curb.

“What is he doing here? I don’t want him here,” I spat out at my friend.

Oh n
o! I’m going to be sick.  

So
I stagger in my tall heels to the side of the building, while my best friend keeps me from face planting into the pavement.  

Over and over I vomit
onto the pavement in the dark alley until sheer exhaustion overtakes my body. Kylie holds my hair back and tries to soothe me, but I am so weak that I have to grab for the brick wall.  I can barely stand. I had forgotten Lucas was even here with us until I felt his strong arms reach around and pick me up.  He pulls me to him and I lay my head against his chest and breathe him in.  I barely remember him sitting me in the cool leather seat of his car before I pass out.

Lucas

I sit here watching my angel as she peacefully sleeps in my oversized bed.  Last night I had been too afraid to fall asleep just in case she got sick again and needed me.  I’m grateful that Kylie had called me to come and get her. She had argued with me a bit when I had insisted on bringing her home to my place instead of taking her back to her apartment, but I managed to convince her that it would be easier this way. Especially since we are supposed to fly out today.

Yeah, that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen.

I don’t know why she did this to herself last night. It angers me to think about some guy taking advantage of her in the state she’d been in. I am just so thankful Kylie hadn’t let anything happen to her.  Swallowing my fears, I sit on the bed beside her sleeping body and take her in. I have dreamt for so long of seeing her in my bed and now that she’s in it, I don’t ever want her to leave.   Even watching her all night had not been enough for me.  I think I memorized every single thing about her perfect face and body as she slept.