Three Days of Rain (24 page)

They drove in silence. When they arrived at the house, Lily walked downstairs to her room and curled up under the blankets of her bed and cried herself to sleep.

Upstairs, Billy grabbed an early beer from the fridge and sat on the couch wondering how he could help her. It wasn’t necessarily his place but he’d help her in any way she needed. She was the closest thing to family he had. He’d just hoped he wouldn’t be the one to break the news to her parents.

Finishing the bottle in a few pulls, he rubbed his hands over his face and looked at his watch. He should head over to the bar soon but he’d hold off as long as he could before leaving, just in case Lily woke up and needed something. The bar had been there so long, it could pretty much run itself.

He’d seen her tears fall as they drove home, saw her shudder as she tried to keep her composure. Her shoulders slumped as she walked down to her room. At this point, he wasn’t sure what she was going to do about the baby. He figured Jake needed to know but, again, it wasn’t his place. She was a grown woman with a solid head on her shoulders and she would do what was right.

He busied himself with straightening up a bit and making Lily a sandwich for dinner. He covered it and placed it in the fridge before writing her a note, letting her know where he’d be. Satisfied he’d done all he could, he carefully opened the door to her room and walked down the stairs. Halfway down, he looked over at her bed and saw she was sleeping soundly. He smiled.

He placed the note on the kitchen table, picked up his keys, and headed to the bar. When Lily heard the sound of his car back out of the driveway, she opened her eyes. Momentarily unclear, the day flooded back to her in an instant. Her hand on her stomach, she felt a feeling of urgency.

Sitting up, she picked up her phone and dialed. She needed to hear Jake’s voice.

When he didn’t answer, she left a message. “Jake. It’s Lily. We need to talk. Call me when you get this. I was hoping I could see you when you finish work today.”

Ending the call, she forced herself to stand up and walk around. The situation wasn’t any different than what it was yesterday. The only difference was that a doctor had confirmed what she’d known all along.

Upstairs she found Billy’s note and the sandwich he’d left in the fridge. Her appetite was back in full force. She made another sandwich after she ate the first one and made her way back downstairs. There was another phone call she had to make.

Cell phone in hand, she closed her eyes for a moment. Breathing slowly, she dialed the number. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, sweetie. We miss you.”

“I miss you, too. Is Dad there, too? I have something I need to talk to you both about.”

“Sure, sweetie, hang on. Let me get him.”

Lily’s cuticles were bleeding by the time her father got on the line with her mother.

“Hey, Lil. How’s South Carolina treating you?”

“Good, good. Listen. I have to tell you both something. You may not like it but you have to know that I always make good decisions, right?”

Worry echoed from the other end of the line. “Lily what’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“You could say that.”

CHAPTER 39

It was early afternoon before Jake dragged himself out of bed. After Maddie left, he drowned himself in the rest of the whiskey. At least he’d had the forethought to leave a message for John that he wouldn’t be at work.

Head throbbing, he staggered to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water and popped two ibuprofen. Standing at the kitchen sink, he dropped his head into his hands.
A tumor?
Every cell in his brain told him she was lying but then again, he saw the look in her eyes when she’d told him. There was a truth in them he’d never seen before.

He needed to know. He needed to go over there and see for himself. He turned up the hot water in the shower and stepped in, willing the steam to erase his hangover.

By the time he’d gotten dressed and headed to the Olsen’s, it was almost three. Banging on the door, he had to wait a minute before anyone answered.

When Mrs. Olsen answered the door, her eyes were red from crying and she looked broken.

“Mrs. Olsen. Is Maddie here?”

“Jake? I don’t think now is a good time.”

“I just need to know if it’s true.”

Fresh tears spilled from her and Jake’s heart hitched.

“Please, Mrs. Olsen. Let me see her.”

“She’s sleeping. The headaches. She gets bad headaches.”

“Let me see her. I won’t make any noise, I promise.”

“Abby, who is it?”

John appeared at the door with the same sad, red eyes as his wife.

“Jake?”

“I just want to see her.”

“She’s sleeping.”

“I know that. Just let me look at her.”

“I don’t know.”

“I just need to see for myself. I’ll know it’s true if I can just see her.”

“Fine. You have two minutes. Don’t make any noise. She needs her sleep.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“She’s in her room. Two minutes.”

Jake stepped to the back of the house and slowly opened Madison’s door. Her hair was still wet from a shower and her face was clear of any make-up. The gray tinge to her face was highlighted by the brittleness of her body. He didn’t know why he hadn’t noticed it before. She looked sick. He’d been too busy hating her to actually notice her.

He rested his head against her door and stared for longer than the two minutes he’d been given. He didn’t know what to feel. He was supposed to hate her, to despise her. And now, here he was, feeling sorry for her. Feeling
something
for her.

John walked down the hall and watched as Jake stood, stiff as a board, in the doorway. As he watched, Jake slumped against the door. He could feel the conflict warring inside him. He stepped over and put his hand on his shoulder. Jake turned around and held John’s gaze for a moment before walking out of the house.

Reaching into his pocket for his cell phone, Jake realized he’d left it at home. He knew Lily had off from work today, and he just hoped she was home.

Lily answered the door on the first knock.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can we talk?”

“Sure, come on in. I wanted to talk to you, too.”

“I was hoping we could go for a walk.”

“Sure. The swimming hole?”

He nodded as she stepped out onto the front porch. When he held her hand, she noticed his was damp and clammy.

Walking through the wooded path helped calm him down. She was bursting with the news she wanted to share with him, but that would have to wait. Clearly, whatever was plaguing his mind needed to be freed.

Once they walked into the clearing, Jake turned as Lily inhaled sharply.

“I’d almost forgotten how beautiful it was here.”

He squeezed her hand and led her to the bank where she slipped her now bare feet into the warm water.

“So, what’s on your mind?”

“I talked to Madison last night. She signed the papers. I just have to call my lawyer and drop them off to him.”

“That’s great! Was it as difficult as you thought?”

“Yes and no. She came in playing her usual games. She tried to be evasive. I pretty much lost it.”

“Lost it?”

“Yeah. I got so mad, I threw a glass at the wall.”

Lily looked away from him as the dread in the pit of her stomach grew. “I just realized I’ve never seen you angry. Is that a normal reaction?”

“With her it is. I could never get that angry at you.”

She momentarily froze at his words before turning back to him. “How do you know? We’ve never had anything to be angry about. Nothing, so far, to fight about. Maybe in a month you won’t like the way I vacuum the carpet, and you’ll flip out and throw something.”

Hands up in protest, Jake took a few steps back. “No. No. I wouldn’t do that.”

“It seems to me, Jake, that we don’t know each other very well. And despite it, I’ve fallen in love with you.”

“I’m in love with you, too. I want you to stay here with me. I want to know where all this is going.”

“And if it doesn’t work? If it doesn’t go anywhere? What then?”

“Then, I don’t know. I don’t want to think like that. When I look at you, I see the future I’ve always wanted. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

When she didn’t say anything, Jake started skipping rocks into the water. He felt his world closing in on him. Emotions he didn’t know how to deal with surfaced.

“Madison is dying.”

Lily pulled her hand from his. “What?”

“She has a brain tumor. She doesn’t have much longer to live. She came back to make amends.”

“Okay. Is she telling the truth or is this one of the games she plays that everyone has told me about?”

“I thought she was lying, and I told her so right before I kicked her out of my house. Then I went over there today, right before I came to see you.”

“And she was there?”

“Yeah. She was sleeping. Her parents had been crying. I walked into her room to see for myself and I saw what I had been too angry to notice before. She’s pale, fragile looking. She looks sick. For the first time, she looked vulnerable.”

He wasn’t fighting back his tears as well as he’d hoped. The last thing he wanted to do is cry about Madison in front of Lily. He was beginning to think she was going to start looking at him like he was some sort of emotional wreck and run away.

Lily couldn’t hide from the fact that Jake wasn’t ready for her news. No matter how much she wanted him to be, she wasn’t sure if he’d ever be ready. Not as long as he was hung up on Madison and her illness. The thought made her feel selfish.

“Do you need to spend time with her?”

“No. I don’t think so. She has her parents, her sister. She’ll probably go back to Florida or wherever she lives now. She doesn’t need me.”

His word choice made her uncomfortable.
She doesn’t need me.
For some reason she thought he should have said something else but then again, that was probably the selfish Lily talking.

“So what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?”

“About Madison. Did you get the closure you needed?”

“I think so. I wasn’t prepared for her to tell me something like that. I could have sworn she was lying again. I wouldn’t put it past her.”

“Right.”

Lily stood and walked over to the tree, leaning her head against it as she took in her surroundings. It was peaceful here.

“So, what did you have to talk to me about?”

As she closed her eyes and placed her hands on her stomach, she turned to him and smiled. “Nothing that can’t wait. I’m just happy you’ve finally put that part of your life behind you. We can move forward. We’ll talk about Atlanta and all that another day. Today you should just go home, relax and finish dealing with your feelings.”

“I’m fine, really. I don’t need to deal with anything else. I thought we could spend the day together.”

“I know. But you should go. I haven’t been feeling well. I think I’m coming down with something. All I want to do is go to bed. It’s okay, really. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Jake felt something was off, there was something she wasn’t telling him but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Are we okay?”

“Yeah. We’re okay. Ready to walk back?”

She reached for his hand and he pulled her in for a hug. He felt something putting distance between them and he hoped he wasn’t losing her. Whatever it was, she was definitely distracted and he thought it would be better not to push.

“You know, none of this changes how I feel about you.”

“I know. And it doesn’t change how I feel about you either. We have time. I promise.”

Jake couldn’t shake the feeling he was losing her.

Lily couldn’t run from the fact that he’d never be truly free from his past. She wasn’t sure if it was cruel of her to expect him to be. One thing was certain; she needed to sort out her thoughts and feelings before she pressed him. It wouldn’t be fair to ask him for something she wasn’t willing to give back in return.

CHAPTER 40

For someone that was used to being alone, Jake didn’t like the feeling. He’d always been one to ignore phone calls and text messages, hole himself up in his house for days, and avoid contact with others. It wasn’t that he was anti-social, he just liked being by himself. Even when Madison lived with him, he’d find ways to escape. Usually that meant playing his guitar at Billy’s or spending extra time at the docks. Now, he wanted nothing more than to have Lily near him. Even if they didn’t speak, didn’t touch, just knowing she was there made him feel comfortable, made him feel something. The fact that she seemed distant made him antsy.

He’d already gone through his contact list and called everyone he could think of. His father wasn’t home, his brother was watching the kids while Megan dealt with her sister, Billy was working the bar. A few of his other friends were either unreachable or unavailable. After two years of forcing himself not to think, that was all he could do while shuffling aimlessly through his house.

His mind moved from memory to memory, awash in hopes, dreams, and regrets. Thoughts of his mother punched a hole in his heart and though it’d been years since she passed, every color, every wind shift, every memory of her flooded his mind. Just as quickly as the wave washed over him, it receded, and he was overcome by memories of baseball, college scouts, and lost dreams. It wasn’t long before visions of Madison plagued him.

Every minute detail of their doomed relationship spun him until he was dizzy enough to throw up in his sink. Soaked with the sweat of ignored issues and suppressed emotions, he was forced to face everything he hadn’t, everything he didn’t. Everything he wouldn’t. He was forced to face his role in it all, his faults, and all the blame he placed elsewhere.

Had he not been so complacent, had he played things differently in the beginning, could they have survived? Would he have felt the same? Would he have loved her, anyway? Was it the drama and pain and disrespect that was their glue? Had he changed enough since then to move on to a healthy relationship with Lily?

Images of Lily whisked in, replacing the darkness of Madison. Rays of light, crashing waves of hope and freedom followed her. But was it real? Was it doomed to fail much like everything else in his life? Would he screw everything up? Was he waiting for the other shoe to drop? Could he survive more heartbreak? Overwhelming failure filled him as he fought to remain upright. Hand pressed up against the wall, he clutched his chest as the next wave crashed.