Three More Wishes: Be Kind To Your Genie (35 page)

Seconds later in the bright hallway, Virgilia was saying, “I wish I was free of all enthrallment, whether by Warren, Marvin, or
her
.” Virgilia pointed at Cocoon Woman. “Can I include my being free of future enthrallment too?”

“No, sorry,” Fatima said. “But after I grant your wish, your mind will be magically marked. Which means that in the future,
unless
someone makes a wish to enslave you by name, you can never be mind-controlled ever again.”

“Cool,” Virgilia said.

Paula spit on the rug. “You better hope I never get my hands on that lamp again, Blondie. I’ll make you as brainless as you appear to be, and tonguing my asshole daily.”

But meanwhile, Fatima had made a green-lightning ball between her hands. The lightning-ball flew through the air and hit Virgilia in the chest.

Virgilia felt all her compulsions toward Marvin vanish, and the parts of her brain that were stupid about Marvin got smart again. For the first time in a week and a half, she could think of Marvin Harper as an ordinary man.

Virgilia
could
think of Marvin so, but she
didn’t
. She remembered that Marvin had risked his life to rescue hookers he didn’t know, and he’d risked his life to rescue children he didn’t know from a burning house. Virgilia’s de-magicked brain decided that Marvin was just as wonderful a man as her magicked brain had thought he was.

“What do you know?” Virgilia said to Fatima. “My opinion of Marvin hasn’t changed any.”

“One wish made, one wish granted,” Fatima said, smiling. “What is your second wish, Master?”

“Right now, I have fake blond hair, fake big lips, and fake humongous boobs. I wish that I look the same, but now all these things are real—are me.”

“Vain much?” Paula said. “You’re using up a wish to look like a porn star. Stupid.”

Again, Fatima magically smacked Virgilia with a green-lightning ball. Virgilia’s boobs immediately felt different.

Fatima said, “One wish made, one wish granted. The next time that you get your hair wet, Master, you’ll see that your hair isn’t dyed-blond anymore. Are you ready for your third wish?”

“World peace, is that okay?”

Fatima shook her head. “Sorry, Master, King Solomon strikes again.”

“In that case, I waive my third wish, I give it up, pass on it, I decline it. I relinquish, forgo, and disclaim my third wish.”

“
What?
” said Paula. “Are you an
idiot
?”

Virgilia smiled at Paula. “I spent two years living with a man who got three wishes, and he was miserable and lonely. Whereas I’m happy and I have friends; what more do I need to wish for? Too bad you’ll never understand.”

Fatima said, “Master, are you sure? I’ll give you fifteen seconds to change your mind.” Sometime later, after Virgilia had stayed silent, Fatima sighed. “Two wishes made, two wishes granted.”

Paula said, “Good, now I don’t have to listen to Fatima’s smart mouth anymore. Back into your lamp, girl.”

During this time, Virgilia had been walking toward Marvin’s corpse(?), with lamp in hand. As she got closer, the reek of burned pork got stronger, and now she could see cracks in the burned(?) and naked flesh. Only a few weak tendrils of smoke still rose from the body.

Paula called after Virgilia, “You should’ve thought of Marvin before you gave up your third wish. I
told
you you’re stupid.”

Virgilia didn’t reply. Instead her right hand reached down, coming closer to forest-green charred flesh atop a shoulder blade.

Jeez, for a thousand different reasons, I hope I’m not wrong about this
, she thought.

Virgilia touched that loathsome, burned flesh—

—and the burned-pork smell stopped. There on the floor lay Marvin, healthy and fully clothed.

Marvin lifted his head and looked at Virgilia. “Sorry, guess I fell asleep after you grabbed the lamp. I miss anything important?”

“
What the fuck?
” said Paula.

Fatima told her, “When you wished for me to kill Marvin, you forfeited that wish and the third wish after it. But rather than refuse to grant your wishes, I
pretended
to grant them, trusting you to get careless. That’s how Virgilia played you.”

Marvin said, “Wasn’t that an impressive death scene? Next time you see George Lucas, thank him.”

Virgilia shook her head, confused. “How does George Lucas fit in?”

“His 3-D CGI effects. What you saw, that’s how Malmajj killed the king at the beginning of
Rubert’s Village
.”

Fatima sniffed. “Except his fireballs were blue. I don’t
do
blue.”

“You
tricked
me!” Paula said. “I was your master, and you
tricked
me!”

Fatima shrugged, then said, “If you’d bothered to listen to the rules, either from Jerngert or from me, this little trick wouldn’t have worked so well. Or if you’d asked me, ‘Did what I just see really happen?’—then I would’ve had to tell you the truth.”

Virgilia smiled, then turned back to Marvin. “Did you miss anything important? Let’s see, I made my wishes. I’ll tell you about them later.”

Then Virgilia lowered her voice. “I came here to give you the lamp. But the second I let go of it, Paula Sarin will try to shoot you. If I request Fatima to save you, will she do it?”

Marvin quietly replied, “Then don’t hand it to me. Put it on the rug, then step back fast.”

“But what about Fatima? Shouldn’t I—?”

“Trust me. I have a plan.”

Marvin turned his eyes from Virgilia to his green-cocooned enemy. “Want my wishing lamp, Paula? Here it is, come get it.” Then he nodded to Virgilia, who reluctantly bent down to put the lamp on the hallway rug.

Marvin was still lying on the rug on his stomach, his long arms still out in front of him. Even as Virgilia was moving the lamp down toward the rug, Marvin’s hands were moving away from each other, toward the edges of the rug. Then Virgilia let go of the lamp.

Virgilia saw things happen fast then—

• The glowing green bands around Paula disappeared. The pistol, which had been pointing at the floor during Paula’s paralysis, came up.

• Marvin’s hands grabbed the edges of the rug. Marvin
yanked
, even as Paula
fired
.

• To Marvin’s left, a decorative post at the top of the stairs made a metallic
Dink!
sound. Even as a doorknob to Virgilia’s right made its own
Dink!
sound.

• Paula exclaimed, “URK!”

Paula Sarin had had the rug literally pulled out from under her, so she had fallen down. But oddly, she was staying down.

That’s when Marvin reached around for the lamp, took hold of it, and rubbed it, all with leisurely slowness.

FOOM.
Now Fatima was standing by Marvin, who still was lying on the rug.

“Master,” Fatima exclaimed, “I’m reset! You get three more wishes!”

“Not fair,” Virgilia heard Paula say.

As Marvin finally pushed himself up, he calmly said, “Fatima, that’s good news. But right now, please send whatever weapons that Paula Sarin has, inside the crater of Mount Kilauea.”

Foom.
Paula’s pistol disappeared in a flash of green light.

Marvin held out his hand. “Give me her cel phone, please.”
Foom.
Marvin stuck Paula’s cel phone in a pocket.

Meanwhile, Virgilia was sure she was missing something. Marvin had just been shot at! Okay, so he’d been lucky and survived the shooting—still, he should have been babbling from fear. But no, he was acting as calm as if he were reading the Sunday paper.

Once Marvin was standing, he reached a hand out to Virgilia. “Come, let’s see how Paula is doing. I do believe she’s fallen and she can’t get up.”

Virgilia gasped when she got close to Paula Sarin. Paula had both hands on her stomach, trying to stanch the bleeding from a gunshot wound.

“I’m going to die,” Paula gasped. “Help me.”

Marvin shook his head. “You know, Paula, I was never worried about
my
life. Fatima told me that my fated death wasn’t till 2020 or later, so I wasn’t worried about you killing me. But I got worried that you might kill someone in my harem.”

“Shouldn’t we be doing something?” Virgilia asked. “Call an ambulance?”

Marvin said, “Trust me, it wouldn’t help her. Anyway, Paula, yesterday I asked Fatima if any of my housemates has her fated death within the next six months. Fatima had to really work her scrying ball, because I have lots of women here. But eventually Fatima said, ‘No, none of them die within the next six months.’ ”

Virgilia said, “Marvin, I haven’t known you long, but you’ve never struck me as cruel.”

“This isn’t cruelty. Paula tried to kill me twice, remember. And she
did
kill Jerngert.”

“Who’s Jerngert?”

Fatima glared at supine Paula. “Jerngert was another bound
djinni
, and my best friend.
This one
was Jerngert’s master.”

Marvin continued, “Anyway, Paula, it made me feel good to know that you wouldn’t kill anyone in my harem. Then I asked Fatima to find out if
your
fated death was within the next six months. Soon Fatima said yes. And while I don’t think I’m a bloodthirsty man, I have to admit that learning you would die soon—well, it made me smile.”

Virgilia asked, “Shouldn’t we at least try to make her last minutes comfortable?”

“I don’t have any painkillers,” Marvin replied. He looked a question at Fatima.

Fatima shook her head
hard
. “Master, I’ve never refused one of your requests. But easing the pain of Jerngert’s murderer? No way.”

Marvin looked at Paula, then shrugged. “Anyway, Paula, I then asked Fatima when the date of your fated death was, and she told me, ‘May 20th.’ Which is good news in a way: Theoretically you could live till midnight.”

Paula said, “You’ll call an ... ambulance if you ... know what’s good ... for you. People ... know I’m here.”

Marvin asked Fatima, “Who
does
know she’s here?” He frowned. “Besides Elvira.”

A volleyball-sized glass ball
pop
ped into existence in front of Fatima’s face, and stayed floating there. Fatima gestured, and Virgilia saw images appear and disappear in the glass ball.

A few minutes later, Fatima vanished the glass ball and looked at Marvin. “Besides Virgilia here, and Elvira, only Paula’s personal assistant Sheila Johansson knows that Paula Sarin is in your house. Besides your parents, only Vincent Carlino and John Clement know that Paula is in this city—they’re the pilots who flew Paula and Sheila here from Anchorage.”

“
Nobody
else knows?” Marvin said. “Doesn’t Paula have a husband?”

“Paula’s husband Ted, her daughter Crystal, and her Chief of Staff Bert—none of them have a clue. Sheila Johansson doesn’t have a roommate, and she told nothing to her boyfriend.”

Marvin laughed. “Paula, obviously you planned to whack me and nobody would pin the murder on you. But now your own secrecy will bite you in the ass.”

Then Marvin turned to Fatima. “It’s wishing time. Wish Seven: I wish that—”

“Wish
Seven
?” Paula gasped.

“—Paula Sarin’s Suggestion power be canceled, and all of her minions be freed from her ensnarement, so that I then can make them thralls of mine when I choose—”

“NO-O-O!” Paula yelled.

“—Except I want my parents to still be immune to my magical charms.”

Fatima’s smile at Paula Sarin was cruel. Fatima made another exploding semitransparent green ball, then flashed Paula another
fuck you
smile. Then the genie told Marvin, “One wish made, one wish granted.”

Paula had tears running down her pale face.

Marvin nodded, then said, “Wish Eight: Of the people who have interacted with Paula Sarin since Sunday, I wish for everyone’s memories to be altered, and physical evidence altered, so that no investigation of Paula Sarin’s disappearance can connect her to me, or even to my city. The only exceptions to this memory alteration are to be myself, my parents, Virgilia O’Keefe, Elvira LeClerc, and Sheila Johansson. As for Paula Sarin, I want her to forget how she came to my mansion, or where in the world my mansion is. However, Paula is to otherwise remember everything about killing her genie Jerngert.”

Fatima made her third exploding semitransparent green ball of the night. Then the wounded senator looked at the genie. “I’ve ... forgotten things,” Paula said.

“Yes, you have,” Fatima replied.

Then Fatima turned to Marvin. “A certain airplane, and its pilot and copilot, all are back in Anchorage. Those two men now have false memories. Various computer records and video recordings have been altered. All the women in bed here are back asleep, with no memories of anything they heard in the past hour. One wish made, one wish granted.”

Marvin looked at Paula. “Now you’re stranded here. And you don’t even know where ‘here’ is, do you?”

Paula shook her head. She looked scared.

Marvin said, “Wish Nine: I wish that you postpone Paula’s fated death by 120 lunar cycles, by giving her the healing powers of Prometheus for 120 lunar cycles. This is a selfish wish.”

“
What?
” Virgilia exclaimed. “Are you a batty, bonkers, brain-boiled bedlamite? You’ll let Paula Sarin, who just tried to whack you twice,
live
and
be healthy
?”

Virgilia looked at Fatima, to find out the genie's reaction. Fatima wasn’t speaking words, but her face spoke volumes.

Marvin said, “Fatima, grant the wish and then I’ll explain.”

Scowling Fatima granted the wish. Then she said to Marvin, with gritted teeth, “One wish made, one wish granted,
Master
.”

Marvin said, “Fatima, please don’t be angry with me. Instead, please find Sigvard, tell him what’s happened, and invite him here.”

Virgilia didn’t know who Sigvard was, but she saw that mentioning him turned Fatima’s frown into a smile.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, Master,” Fatima said. “Count on it.”
FOOM.