Three Way (23 page)

‘Fuck me,’ I whisper to myself. I hear Lauren open other shutters around the front of the house. My eyes return to that view. I shake my head. Even if I were to be promoted and scaled the heady heights to management at TBN, I doubt I could ever afford something like this in my job. The thought makes me feel depressed. I turn and look back at the living room. Lauren is leaning against a wooden beam looking at me, her arms folded across her chest.

‘You like?’ she asks.

‘This is amazing. You’re so lucky,’ I say.

‘Yeah, I am,’ she replies, quietly. ‘So, tea? Coffee?’

‘Tea sounds lovely.’

We sit down with a cup of tea and a packet of biscuits.

‘You know, I think you’re only the second boy I’ve brought here,’ Lauren says.

‘Really? I’m honoured.’

‘You should be.’

‘Who was the other guy?’

‘Johnny,’ she replies, looking down. I nod slowly.

‘Do you still have a thing for him? Don’t get me wrong, I would understand if you did. He’s pretty cool,’ I say. She shakes her head.

‘Nah, me and Johnny have definitely been there and done that. We just don’t work well when we’re together. He’s a good friend. Nothing more.’

‘So, how often do you come here?’

‘Not as much as I should. This place is calm. Peaceful. Something I definitely need more of in my life but, I don’t know, somehow other stuff takes over.’

‘Is the lack of TV deliberate?’ I ask. She smiles and nods.

‘Why, something on tonight you’re going to miss?’

‘No, not at all-’

‘I know what you mean. I just thought, this place needs to have no distractions. Just somewhere I can be myself. So no TV, no mobile reception, no internet. I’m not even sure you can pick up FM here.’

‘I like that.’

‘Yeah? I get a lot of reading done when I’m here.’

‘I want to apologise in advance.’

‘For what?’

‘I’m afraid you’re not going to be doing a lot of reading whilst I’m here,’ I say. She smiles and raises an eyebrow.

‘Right. So…what will we be doing?’

‘Hmm,’ I say with an exaggerated expression. ‘I’m sure we can think of something.’

‘Okay, but before we start any of that, probably need to head to the supermarket and stock up. There’s a Tesco in Stroud.’

‘Oo, a Tesco.’

‘Up yours. Finish your tea, and when we get back I’ll show you exactly who’s boss.’

We get the shopping in and Lauren starts cooking. I’d like to tell you I offered or had thoughts or input into anything but I’d be lying. She knew what she wanted to cook and got on with it.

She tells me to set the table. Doesn’t seem fair but what the hell. I walk around the house, inspecting the odd photo or painting. I reach the patio doors and open them. The last of the summer light just touches the edge of the garden which slopes away leaving nothing but rolling English countryside. It’s a sight to behold. High above me I see the vapour trails of a plane. There are seemingly hundreds of different varieties of flowers and plants. She obviously has a gardener or someone who tends to them as everything looks immaculate. I walk along a stone pathway down to the end of the garden and look out across the hills. In the distance I can see sheep, horses and the occasional farmhouse. Stunning. I turn and look back towards the cottage. I watch Lauren washing her hands at the sink. She’s unaware of me gazing at her as she sings to herself. Or is she talking? I can’t tell. She still looks hot even in that Fifties flowery apron. I smile. Am I…falling for her? Is that what this is? She turns the tap off and shakes her hands, disappearing to dry them. I watch the empty space then look up at the mauve sky above me. I can just make out the first star. It flickers silently in the twilight. From somewhere I hear birds chirping their final song before going to bed or whatever birds do at night. I breathe in deeply, savouring the fresh, clean air. Today is a good day.

‘Where are you?’ I hear Lauren say. I turn and walk back towards the house.

Before long, dinner is ready. I watch as she brings out endless bowls of food, although secretly I’m enjoying watching her bum in those tight jeans. Even the baggy wool jumper looks sexy. She starts serving what can only be described as a banquet…for two people. Roast pork, potatoes, vegetables, gravy, homemade Yorkshire puddings and so on. It smells amazing. It tastes even better. I look up from the plate, Lauren’s searching my face.

‘I hope it’s okay,’ she says.

‘It’s more than okay. Bloody perfect,’ I reply. She smiles and we get stuck in. If I were to tell you I couldn’t finish it, you’d probably think me rude but I’m not over-egging it when I say banquet. Needless to say she doesn’t take offence at what’s left on my plate. I pour another glass of red.

‘So what was it like going out with Johnny Dougan?’

‘Really? That’s what you want to talk about?’

‘I’m just curious. Was he a dick?’

‘No. Well yes…a little. But he was also quite delicate. Vulnerable,’ she says, glancing at me. ‘But mostly, yes he was a dick.’

‘Must be strange going out with someone famous.’

‘No, I was with him before he became famous. And it wasn’t strange, it was horrible. He got into drugs which he had never touched before and he changed. Became an exaggerated version of himself. I’m probably not making sense. He was just swept up in it all and I tried to hang on. Probably for too long.’

‘How did it end?’ I ask. She sighs, looking down at the table. ‘Sorry. Maybe this isn’t the proper conversation-’

‘It’s fine. He caught me in bed with another guy,’ she replies.

‘Shit,’ I say.

‘Yeah well, probably a fucked up way of getting away from him. I don’t know.’ I nod slowly, scanning her face for any emotion she might be feeling. She breathes in then looks back at me. ‘What about you?’

‘What about me?’

‘This girl you were hung up on.’

‘Svetla.’

‘Right. What’s the story?’

‘First girl I properly loved. I’ve been with a few girls, not many but a few. And she was just…I dunno, different. Normal. I could be myself with her. I didn’t have to think before I spoke, that sort of stuff.’

‘Can I ask you a question?’

‘Sure.’

‘Will you be honest with me?’

‘Depends on the question,’ I reply. She smiles but nothing more.

‘In your heart of hearts, are you still in love with her?’ she asks. My stomach feels like I’ve just base-jumped off an impossibly tall waterfall. My heart is thumping and my throat is suddenly dry. I look down at the table then back to Lauren. Can she read me? Does she know the answer before I even give it?

‘No,’ I reply, eventually.

‘You sure?’ she asks. I nod slowly.

‘Yeah. We’re done. We had our moment and that moment is gone. Time for something new. Don’t you think?’

‘For me, definitely. For you…I don’t know,’ she stands and clears the plates. I watch her go, guilt now strumming me. I watch her in the kitchen, appear then disappear behind the door frame. Am I being a royal shit to this girl? Using her for sex with no intention of going any further? Am I becoming the thing I saw in other men that I always used to despise? She walks back in.

‘Come,’ she says. I stand, follow her to the patio doors and step outside. She looks up. ‘See how much more you can see in the country.’ I look up. She’s right. The night sky is filled with the awe-inspiring sight of the Milky Way. Thousands upon thousands of stars flicker in a truly spectacular spectacle.

‘Wow,’ I whisper, ‘that is amazing.’

‘Yeah,’ she replies. We stand in wonder at Nature’s display, my hand brushing against hers. A shooting star flies silently through the sky. We gasp and smile together. I glance down at her face, as she peers up into the night sky. ‘Something so simple, yet so utterly beautiful,’ she says.

‘Like you,’ I say. She nudges me.

‘I’m not simple.’ I stare at her beautiful face, lean in slowly and kiss her. I move my hand around her head and run my hands through her hair. She smells of a subtle vanilla. I breathe her in and release her.

‘Why am I always attracted to guys I can’t have?’ Lauren whispers.

‘You can have me,’ I say.

‘Yeah?’

‘Any time you want. You lucky thing,’ I say. She smiles and flicks her eyebrows. My heart suddenly melts. I feel so lucky. This moment. This girl, all suddenly so…perfect.

‘Let’s go in and get those trousers off.’

I wake the next day slowly and calmly. The sun streams through the window and birds sing outside. It’s so quiet. No planes, no cars, just silence. It’s slightly disconcerting, as someone who comes from the city, you get used to all the noise. The shouting, the sirens, the planes on final approach to Heathrow. Here, nothing. Just birds. As I lie, listening, I feel Lauren stir next to me. I glance over towards the bathroom and see a broken picture frame on the floor, glass shards scattered. What happened there? It’s then I notice the room looks like a bomb has hit it. A chair lies on the floor, drawers have been pulled out of the chest. Shit, we’ve had a break in during the night. Quickly I turn back to Lauren.

‘Hey,’ I whisper. She doesn’t move. ‘Lauren, wake up.’ Slowly she sighs. ‘Lauren.’

‘What?’

‘I think someone burgled us,’ I say. Her eyes flick open and she sits up, looking around the room. Then her shoulders relax.

‘Is that supposed to be funny,’ she says, lying back down and closing her eyes.

‘No. Look at this place,’ I say. Her eyes open again and she looks at me with a ‘are you crazy’ look.

‘Can you seriously not remember?’ she says. I stare at her, frowning.

‘We did this?’ She chuckles and ruffles my hair. And slowly, one by one, memories start to return. We began in the living room on the sofa. Then we ended up on the floor. We made our way quickly to the wall and then the stairs. I have a vague recollection of things smashing but really, all this? Then the banister, I’m not going to tell you what happened there. I put my hand across my mouth as the memory hits me. Then the bathroom. I think there was a shower involved. I shoved her against the chest of drawers. Shoved. Me. It was all quite rough but I think she liked it.

I swing my feet around the side of the bed and stand up. I feel an instant bolt of pain in my side. I look down to see a massive purple bruise running my from under my armpit to my waist.

‘Jesus,’ I say.

‘Oh my God, Ollie,’ Lauren says, staring at the bruise. ‘Be careful, I wouldn’t move around until we’ve had a little tidy up, there might be some glass on the floor.’

‘Yeah and maybe…I dunno, some ice?’ I say. She smiles, her eyes wide and alive.

‘We are so bad,’ she says.

‘You’re insane,’ I say.

‘I think I might be. It’s your fault. If you hadn’t got me so excited, none of this would-’

‘Oh right, of course. My fault, yeah. Great,’ I say, smiling at her.

‘Come on. Let’s clean this up and go for a walk.’

We get back to my flat in Clapham around seven. Lauren doesn’t come in, we sit in her car and kiss for what feels like an insanely long time. Eventually she lets me go and I wave goodbye. I watch the Porsche disappear, listening to the engine slowly fade into the distance. I walk up the steps and arrive at the top. Tristan’s front door opens and he steps out. His excited facial expression says to me ‘I’ve just seen Jesus but he told me to keep it a secret.’