Three Way (10 page)

‘Well…you can still kiss, there’s hope for you yet,’ she says. I smile. ‘There’s a smile as well, see it’s not all bad.’

‘No, not all bad,’ I reply. She glances over to the bar where a couple of drenched customers are waiting, wondering why they’re not being served.

‘Better get back. Stick around if you like,’ she says, standing.

‘I’d better head off, I was supposed to go shopping.’

‘Can I give you some money?’ she asks, walking over towards the bar.

‘No. We’re good,’ I reply.

‘Hang on, I’ve got some here,’ she says, then turns to the waiting guys, ‘be with you in two ticks gentlemen.’

‘It’s cool,’ I say, holding up my hand, ‘see you back at the flat.’ I head for the door and turn as I get to it.

‘Ash?’ she looks over to me. ‘Thanks.’ She smiles then turns to the first guy and asks him what he wants to drink. I open the door and head back out into the rain.

As I walk to the supermarket, Ashley’s words whistle around my head. She had said it so casually, ‘sounds like you were a real dick.’ I was and I know I was. So how do I use that information to move on with my life? Lauren could prove a welcome distraction. Assuming, of course, I haven’t scared the bejesus out of her with that shamefully amateur email.

I reach the supermarket quicker than I expect. As I start to walk down the fresh produce aisle, I’m struck by a sudden urge to take control of my life. I get out my iPhone and find Lauren’s number. Fuck it. I hit the call button. My heart is suddenly thumping hard. It rings once. Then again. And a third time. Fuck, she’s not going to even-

‘Lauren Bates.’ I hear her voice on the other end of the phone.

‘Hi, Lauren?’ I say, my voice unsteady.

‘Yeah, who’s this?’

‘It’s Ollie. Hayward.’

‘Uh…’ Christ, she’s forgotten me already. ‘Ollie from TBN?’ And there it is. She remembers my job. Ever so subtly, my heart sinks. I’m memorable for my job, for television news.

‘Yeah,’ I reply, unable to hide the slight dejection in my voice.

‘Hey, I was just thinking about you,’ she replies. Yeah? Just thinking how you could get yourself on the evening bulletin?

‘Really?’ I say.

‘Yeah, I was just reading your email again. So cute.’ Oh God. I want to die. That email.

‘Umm, yeah sorry about that.’

‘For what?’

‘I dunno, just…maybe it came out wrong.’

‘What? The fact you want to see me?’

‘Well, yeah.’

‘That’s a good thing.’ See, she says it’s a good thing. I knew I wasn’t a total fuck up.

‘I guess.’

‘So…you’re around on Friday?’

‘Yeah.’

‘There’s a place near here called the Proxy Bar. On Curtain Road. Eightish?’

‘Sounds good to me.’

‘Great, see you then?’ she says.

‘Yeah, cool. See you then.’

‘Okay, bye Ollie.’

‘Bye.’ I hang up and lean against the wall. I have a date. A proper date this time. With a beautiful girl. Cool. My heart’s thumping through my chest like I just drank three Red Bulls.

Slowly I calm down and as I stare at the assortment of fresh vegetables in front of me, I start to wonder what Svetla is doing right now. Is she back in Sweden? Did she ever get that job at BoDune Industries she wanted so badly? Does she still think about me? Has she found someone else? Someone better? God, I miss her. I don’t know why today is turning out to be such an Svetla day. It should be a Lauren day. I’ve got myself a date with a stunning girl. Why am I still thinking about Svetla? Life is trying to pull me in a new direction, which I’m game for. I really am. Just…I miss the old me. The old life. Svetla was so beautiful. Such a deeply caring, lovely person. Okay, get a grip Ollie, starting to get emotional at the Asda food counter. I step backwards and breathe out, making my way to the milk and cheese aisle. Two pints of milk, some mozzarella, Flora. Svetla always made me buy the light stuff. She’s not here any more. I could buy the full fat. I take the full fat Flora and chuck it into the basket. I begin to walk away and suddenly I start to feel guilty. Like I’m betraying her. I stop and glance back at the shelf. What the fuck are you doing Oliver? What am I doing? I don’t owe her the light stuff but it’s not bad tasting and it is better for me. Jesus Christ, move on.

I arrive back at the flat with less than half the items I wanted to get. Must start writing a shopping list. As I’m hauling the shopping up the stairs I spot Tristan smoking on his balcony. A joint. Of that, I have no doubt.

‘Hey Ollie, that looks heavy,’ he calls.

‘Yeah it is,’ I reply.

‘Maybe you should try Tesco delivery. Then the guy lugs the shit up for you.’ Maybe you should fuck off Tristan. Get a proper job, stop dealing to teenagers. Hmm? Try that.

‘Yeah maybe.’ I drop the shopping outside the front door and knock. Parker better be in. I wait, glancing briefly at Tristan who waves and pulls an exaggerated comical smile. I nod back, smiling politely. Where the fuck is Parker? I bang again. ‘Come on,’ I say quietly.

‘You forget your keys?’ Tristan asks, inhaling a deep breath of military grade ganja.

‘No, just…Parker’s supposed to be in,’ I reply. I can’t believe this, he’s there all the bloody time and the one time I need him to be in...fuck it, just do it myself. I fumble through the absurd number of pockets in my jacket before eventually finding my keys. I open the door and nearly fall in. Tristan laughs at my misfortune. What a cocksucker. I start lifting bags from the hallway into the kitchen. This is far too much work. Why the hell am I doing this? I have two flatmates, both of whom don’t pull their weight around the place and here I am, Captain Muggings, doing the shopping for the two of them. I don’t care if Ashley is a good kisser, she still has to do her part.

‘Parker?’ I call. Nothing. Brilliant. I carry the last of the bags into the kitchen and sigh. I walk down the hallway to the toilet when I notice Parker’s bedroom door closed. I walk slowly up to it and listen. Silence. I say a quick prayer that he’s not engaged in some form of self-abuse, then I knock. Nothing. ‘Parker?’ I say again, opening the door. He’s not in there but the fool has left his novel up on his computer. Now, should I? I know what you’re thinking, it’s personal, it’s a first draft, he wouldn’t be happy about it. All good reasons, I grant you. But fuck it, if the roles were reversed, Parker wouldn’t even be hesitating. I scroll up and start to read. Here’s a sample:

‘Her eyes glared at me like she was gonna kick the living crap out of my arse. I wanted her bad but somehow I also knew she wanted to play the game.’
–Punctuation, grammar and general rules of English thrown mercilessly out of the window -something about a time machine. Blah-blah, hang on let me get to a good bit…ummm. Okay-
‘the guy had no idea what was coming. With her devastatingly fast moves she had him in a headlock before he knew what had happened. The blood started to drain from his head and he started to feel dizzy. Her grip was locked tight. A hyena couldn’t have escaped that grip
(???)
Slowly he came to the realisations
(how he spelt it)
that he was indeed doomed.’

‘Shit,’ I say out loud. What did you think? A budding Charles Dickens in the making or could Parker be about to find out that his choice of career is a massive mistake? Could it be edited to be better? Sure, if we started with a blank page. Oh Parker. He’s hung his dreams on this? Fuck. Now what? Do I tell him, devastate the guy? Or pretend I haven’t and make subtle hints? I wish I’d never seen the thing now. How is he ever going to pay his way, long term, if this is the sort of drivel he’s churning out? Not good. Not good at all. I walk back to the kitchen, unload the shopping and make myself some lunch.

Ashley comes home at five, still wearing her pub uniform.

‘Hey,’ she says, walking into the living room. I’ve got my feet up, watching TBN. I know I’m sad for watching the news on my day off. Can’t help it, I quite enjoy it.

‘Hi. How was work?’ I ask. She collapses onto the sofa and pulls her shoes off.

‘Interesting. Some guy started telling me all this personal stuff and by accident we ended up snogging,’ she replies, smiling.

‘Really? That’s terrible.’

‘I know. But see, the thing is, he’s not over his ex and he’s trying to move on with his life but every so often he takes reminiscent step backwards. And he’s been so good to me I want to try and help him move forwards.’

‘I see. Did he listen?’

‘He did after I stuck my tongue down his throat.’ We both chuckle. I look at her, a moment of genuine affection between us. ‘We used to be a good team, Ollie.’ I nod, the smile fading.

‘Yeah we did. Until we started going out,’ I reply.

‘Yeah, things went a bit weird. Why was that?’

‘I don’t know. Never figured it out. Better with the physical stuff, I guess.’

‘Yeah,’ she says, a cheeky smile forming. I chuckle. The atmosphere has become charged, I’m breathing quickly. She moves closer to me, suddenly running her finger over my chest. I glance down then back to her.

‘We shouldn’t really…’ I start to say. She shakes her head.

‘No, we shouldn’t.’ We stare at each other, the tension overwhelming. Our lips move almost closer.

‘This is not a good idea,’ I say with no real conviction in my voice.

‘No,’ she says. I move in and kiss her. Urgent. Passionate. She responds, moving her arm around my waist. All the pent-up tension forcing its way out of both of us. My fingers move over the familiar curves of her body, she feels the same as when we were at school. She pulls off my T-shirt. I unbutton her work trousers and yank them down. I feel her pulling at my jeans and suddenly my abdomen feels cool as the denim is removed. Before I even know what’s happening, we’re making love on the sofa, half-naked. Energy moves from me to her and back. She pulls my hair and scratches my back. I move between her legs roughly, little yelps escaping from her. Parker could come back from wherever he is…where did he go anyway? Who cares, Ashley feels so good. We were just made for each other. I can’t remember how many times we’ve done this but every time feels like the first. I slow down, the energy changing and suddenly we stare at each other. Neither saying anything. Peering straight into each other’s souls. I see who she is. I feel it and I know she sees me. She comes, shaking softly as she does. I come. Eyes closed, feeling the utter ecstasy of the encounter flooding through me. And then, silence. Nothing and everything. Slowly, I’m aware of my breathing, and before long I’m aware of hers. We’re back in reality. Back in the present. I open my eyes, there she is. Her blouse is ripped under her armpits and her makeup smeared. She looks at me and smiles. ‘Oops,’ she says. I smile.

‘Yeah, oops,’ I repeat.

Friday. I sit at work, thinking. Always thinking. Mostly about Svetla. A little about Ashley and some about Lauren. What am I doing? Somehow, while being fucked up about Svetla, I’ve managed to book myself on a date with Lauren and fooled around with Ashley. Total confusion reigns. Should I even go on this date with Lauren when I’m feeling like this? Surely someone’s going to get hurt, most likely me but there’s a possibility it could be Lauren and I would hate that. She seems like a nice girl. Do I want to load her up with my baggage? Of which, there is a considerable amount. What to do? Could do with some advice. I look around. It’s a quiet day today, not much news around. Julie sits reading the Guardian. Such a liberal, doesn’t make her a bad person or anything. I walk over to her and sit down.