Through the Glass (15 page)

“Aye well, get set up whenever you’re ready.” He released himself from her grip. “I’ll be off next door. Lots to do.” He smiled awkwardly and left her to begin.

Chapter 10

The coffee shack had begun as just that, a place to grab a coffee to go, popular with tourists passing through but over the last year it had expanded and become the village store when the
actual
village store closed due to the owner’s ill health. Jim stocked all the essentials needed for such a situation as the current weather. He stood outside looking out over the snow-covered street. It was strange how the thick blanket had dulled every sound, making it audibly quieter. It didn’t feel quite as cold now. The snow had not only insulated sound but had acted as a duvet to the loch-side village too, although it wasn’t warm enough for the snow to melt away. Not yet.

He opened the shack and switched the heat on full. A steady stream of customers filed in through the doors during the morning. During a lull, Jim stood rubbing his hands together in front of the heater. The radio played in the background. He stopped moving as the lyrics of
Distance
by Christina Perri Featuring Jason Mraz floated around the small space. He stood, eyes closed, and absorbed the poetry for a few minutes, feeling a lump form in his throat. Distance from Felicity was something he had both enjoyed
and
endured in recent years, but that had all changed now.

Jilly McDougal breezed into the shack with a pink nose, forcing Jim to swallow the lump and put on his customer-friendly mask. “Hi, Jim. Please tell me you have some kindling left.” The friendly middle-aged woman pouted at him.

“Hi, Jilly. You’re in luck. I only have a couple of bags left. Everyone must be making the most of their open fires in this weather and I haven’t had a chance to stock up since the weather turned.” He lifted up a net bag and passed it over to her.

“No wonder! And my fire at home is a true Godsend in this weather. It’s blowing a draft under every door in my house. Oh, by the way, did your lady friend like her art supplies?”

“Aye, she did, Jilly. Thanks ever so much for your help with that.” Jim felt his cheeks warm at her choice of words.
Lady friend
.

“Oh good. If it puts a smile on that handsome face of yours, I’m all for it.” Jilly blushed a little. “Bye, Jim.”

“Bye, Jilly. Thanks again.”

Once she had gone, he quickly checked on his stock levels. They were getting lower by every hour he was open. Switching the coffee machine on, he quickly counted the number of packs of powdered milk, candles, matches, and bags of kindling he had left. There was nothing he could do about it. There was no way out of, or into, the village at the moment. Luckily the villagers all rallied around a neighbour in need.

Felicity walked in, Jasper following behind. Jim was surprised she wasn’t inside the cosy cottage starting a master piece.

“Hi…what are you doing out?” he asked as he wiped the coffee machine down in readiness. He noticed she was wearing one of his thicker coats. She was buried inside it as it if were eating her alive. He smirked a little.

“What’s so funny?”

He didn’t answer.

She shook her head and continued. “I thought Jasper and I could go for a walk. It looked so pretty out. I’ll start my painting later. Wow…nice little shop. I had no idea you had diversified. I thought it was just coffee and tea.”

“Na. It evolved. The villagers needed it and so I obliged.” He poured her a coffee to go.

“Ooh, thanks.” She wrapped her hands around the paper cup and its corrugated cardboard insulator sleeve. “I borrowed a pair of Wellington boots and a few pairs of socks. I hope that’s okay?”

He looked down at her giant man feet and couldn’t help but laugh. She looked at her feet too and blushed her famous cerise pink, giggling. He thought she looked absolutely adorable. She sipped the steaming coffee carefully. “You really seem settled here, Jim. It’s obvious you care a lot about this place…and its people.”

“Aye. It’s all I ever wanted. To be myself and to be relaxed in my surroundings.” He spoke without turning to look at her. He baulked as the words left his lips feeling immediately guilty for the dig about their past. He hoped she hadn’t noticed.

“You never liked London, did you, Jim?” she asked in a small voice.

Dammit, she noticed.

“I don’t think I need answer that, do you?” He turned to her now, making his eyes stern.

“No…no need at all. Look, I’ll see you later.” She smiled sadly and set out, calling Jasper to her side. Jim felt a sinking in his stomach. He really would have to try and be less abrasive with her.

~~~~~

The snow crunched beneath the Wellington boots which felt like ships on Felicity’s feet. Jasper cavorted in the snow like a pup, his stubby legs disappearing with every touchdown and his tail wagging frantically. The sky was a bright cornflower blue but the hue was deceptive, a direct opposition, in fact, to the icy temperature making Felicity’s breath into clouds of humidity.

Although the cold made her lungs sting, she couldn’t help but breathe deep. The air may have been icy but it was fresh. There wasn’t a hint of smoke or engine fumes to fill the spaces where fresh, crisp air belonged. Happiness washed over her as she watched children playing at the opposite side of the road. Their snowman was dressed in all of their parents’ finery, and Felicity wondered how much of it had been taken without permission.

On several occasions she had to duck to dodge snowballs as they were thrown from one side of the street to the other between
rival
gangs of friends, laughing and shouting. Each time was followed by, “Sorry, lady!”, to which she waved, a gesture to inform that she wasn’t bothered by their game playing. A woman was walking toward her with a yellow Labrador. She smiled as she approached Felicity.

“Ahhh, hello there! I’m guessing you must be Felicity, Jim’s friend?” the older, grey-haired lady said as they were about to pass, the dogs greeting each other like old friends.

“Yes…yes that’s right. How did you know?” Felicity was intrigued.

“Well, for one, you have Jasper and for two you are wearing what I’m presuming are Jim’s clothes!” She laughed, her eyes examining Felicity’s oversized attire.

“Oh, yes of course!” She looked down at the sleeve ends where her hands would normally be. “And you are…”

“I’m Miranda. Jim called to see me earlier to borrow some art supplies for you.”

“Oh yes. Thank you so much. You’ve been so kind. Too kind to a stranger such as me.”

“Oh no, no, any friend of Jim’s is a friend of mine. You’ll find that with everyone here. He’s very well thought of.” She smiled. “We all just wish he’d find himself a wee lady and settle down…have bairns…you know?” She smiled at Felicity, clearly unaware of her status as Jim’s ex-wife. “Aye, well, best be off, Jess needs her walk and I need to get back to my painting.” She began to walk again but stopped. “Come over for coffee and a wee chat whenever you like. Jim will direct you. It’d be good to talk arty things with a fellow artist.” She smiled and carried on.

“I will…thank you.”

Felicity made her way back to the coffee shack. She could see Jim in the distance standing outside chatting to one of the villagers. Since her arrival, she had noticed that he looked so much more relaxed than he had done during the last year of their marriage. He looked younger and more bohemian. His beard was fuller but it suited him. Before, he was in the realms of designer stubble but now he had a full goatee.  His hair was still thick and in shoulder length, shaggy layers, but it was smattered with flecks of grey now. He looked so comfortable in his chunky jumpers and scruffy jeans. He wore them well. He had always been a very attractive man and the attraction was still there, unfortunately. He had filled out too, but she had noticed that it was all muscle when he had removed his jumper the day before and exposed a little of his torso causing her mouth to water. He looked up and waved.

~~~~~

Jim watched her tramping toward him in her oversized clothing. “Nice walk?” he asked as his neighbour walked away complete with his bag of kindling.

“Yes, very bracing. Had to dodge a few snow balls.” She laughed. There was the smile he remembered from years ago and that almost musical, infectious laugh. Her features had relaxed. “Were you planning anything for dinner? If not I thought maybe I could treat you to a nice meal at the hotel?”

He thought about it for a second. What harm could it do? They were two adults, admittedly with a complicated history, but nevertheless they were past all that. “Oh…aye…aye okay. That’d be nice. They have a nice menu. I don’t eat there often. No point with it just being me.” He shrugged. “Anyway, I’ll be home in around an hour, so why don’t you go get yourself showered and ready. You may still have to wear my Wellies. Snow’s quite deep…and you look so fetching.” He chuckled. He couldn’t help but tease. Her cheeks coloured.

“Hey, cheeky!” She hit him playfully. “I’ll go and get sorted and see you soon.” Jasper dutifully followed Felicity back next door to the cottage.

~~~~~

Thankfully when they arrived at the Shieldaig Hotel, the fire was already roaring, giving a cosy, amber glow to the bar area. They hungrily perused the extensive menu in silence. Once their food was ordered, Jim brought a bottle of Pinot Noir over from the bar. A kind of shyness fell on the pair as they sat together in romantic surroundings but without the romantic attachment.

Felicity sighed, suddenly, as they sipped their wine. “Where did it all go wrong, Jim?”

“You want to talk about
that
now?” Jim was confused at her choice of conversational topic.

“It’s on my mind I suppose.”

Jim sighed and pondered a moment before speaking. “I didn’t fit into your world.” He shrugged. “And you wanted to find someone who did. I wanted you to be happy so I let you go.” Jim gave his verdict in a nutshell. She visibly cringed at his matter-of-fact admission.

“So you take no responsibility?” she asked, frustration etched on her face.

He rolled his eyes. “Aye, well, I suppose I was to blame for the fact that I didn’t fit into your world. But I loved you, Felicity. More than anything. It just…wasn’t enough for you.” He took a gulp of his wine, suddenly feeling too warm.

“You had so many possibilities ahead of you though, Jim. You graduated with a
first
from Oxford, for goodness sake. Why didn’t you do something with it? Where was your ambition?” She took a large gulp of her wine. “I got so frustrated by your lack of ambition.” She shook her head.

Jim clenched his jaw. “Felicity, you seem to forget that you had enough ambition for the both of us. Was it not enough that I supported everything you did? I never missed a function. I even wore suits!” He laughed incredulously. “All I wanted was to love you and have you love me enough. I guess it wasn’t meant to be, eh? Like you said back then.”

She shook her head. “I did love you. I was crazy about you. But…” She fiddled with her napkin. “I think I listened to my mum too much.”

He thought he could see regret in her eyes.

“Your mum? Aye, she wasn’t my biggest fan, eh? And still isn’t by all accounts.”

Felicity snarled. “Yeah, well, she’s a total fraud.”

“What do you mean by that?” Jim was intrigued by her harsh statement.

“Something I found out at the will reading. Something she had kept from me all these years.”

Jim leaned forward unable to hide his interest. “Which was…”

“Her name. The stupid woman changed her name just to impress.”

“Eh? Sorry, I don’t follow?” Jim placed his elbows on the table. But before she could go into any detail their food arrived.

“Oh lovely. Smells delicious and I’m famished,” she informed the waitress with a sweet smile.

“Enjoy.” The young woman smiled back. “Hi Jim, how’s Jasper?”

“Hi Sally, oh, he’s fine. He’s missing you. Be sure to pop round and see him soon, eh?”

The young woman blushed and tucked a stray strand of mousy brown hair behind her ear. “Oh, I will. Been a bit busy lately with my studies but I will pop round,” she told him. She left them to their meal.

“Gosh do you know everyone?” Felicity asked.

He stabbed a piece of steak and held it to his mouth. “It appears so.”

~~~~~

They finished their meal and headed back out in the freezing cold evening, back to the cottage. Felicity bent to fiddle with her boot, grabbed a handful of snow, and threw it straight at Jim’s head. It hit with a thud and splattered into his hair.

“Whoa! You little swine!” He laughed, bending to seek his own ammunition. She dodged and caught him square on the back of the head with her second snowball.

“Right, that’s it! This is war!” He picked up a huge handful of snow and ran toward Felicity, who tried to run away but slipped and landed on her bottom in the snow, thanks to the ridiculously large Wellington boots she was wearing. She let out a scream and Jim’s assault struck. Snow slid down her back under her oversized coat and stuck to her hair. Jim slipped, landing half on top of her, and they both laughed, gasping for air as they lay in the snow-covered street.

They made eye contact and suddenly their position was not so funny. She searched his eyes as he breathed out puffs of breath, which clouded as the warm hit the cold.

Slowly his smile faded. He closed his eyes tight and leaned closer. She held her breath. She felt sure he was going to kiss her. But instead he leaned his forehead on hers and sighed, clenching his jaw.

“Come on. Let’s get in where it’s warm,” he whispered. He shifted and held out his hand to pull her up. Feeling surprisingly disappointed, she took his hand and was immediately pulled to her feet. They brushed the snow from their clothes and went inside, both disappearing into separate bedrooms to change and emerging at the same time in their comfy clothing.

“I’ll open another bottle of wine, eh?” he said as he headed toward the stairs.