Through the Heart (29 page)

My mother cleared her throat and started: “I know we’re gathered here to celebrate Timothy’s upcoming nuptials, but I also just want to say a word about another new era that’s beginning. I’m going to have a new son-in-law soon,” she smiled at Alejandro, “and he’s going to be taking over the handling of our family’s financial health. I think we should be celebrating that new beginning as well.” And she raised her glass.

It was a good try, but she didn’t realize that after telling me she was taking the money away, she had emptied that particular clip of ammunition. I didn’t care. So I was able to sit there and smile while she made that ridiculous toast. My family understood what was going on, but I saw Tammy turn and whisper something to Neil.

As soon as my mother sat down, Nora’s mother popped up with her glass in hand too.

“I don’t have anything prepared,” she said. “But since Mrs. Whitting was so gracious as to start, I’d like to make a toast to new sons-in-law, since tomorrow I’ll have one as well. And a toast to all kinds of health, not just financial. Health is a blessing we tend to only think about once it’s gone.”

Everyone raised their glass to that as well, and my father said, “Hear! Hear!” Well, almost everyone raised their glass. I noticed that Nora’s sister, Deirdre, didn’t. She just sat there scowling.

I had a feeling we were treading a dangerous line, and I wasn’t sure what it was. I thought I would try to head this off, so I got up.

“I just wanted to say thank you all for coming to celebrate with us. I hope you enjoy the dinner and the company.”

I was trying to head off more speeches. It didn’t work.

My brother Andrew decided to get up next, though I really couldn’t tell you what he said—something about hoping I would be as happy as he was, and have children as great as he had, and that my marriage would go as smoothly as his. He went on for a long time. He was one of those people who, when he gets up and has the room at his mercy, it goes to his head.

He was still going when the staff started clearing the appetizer plates. I decided to step out to the patio to get a little air. I was only out there a few minutes when Alejandro joined me.

I had gotten to know Alejandro a bit better over the last two months because my mother had insisted on having him check up on the dissolving of the family fund. He had proven to be reasonable and rational, and most importantly he had run interference with my mother. I had come to have a grudging respect for him.

I knew he must have a reason for following me out to the patio. That was part of what I respected about him—everything he did had a logic behind it. And he didn’t beat around the bush either; he was a straight shooter.

He took out one of those long, thin cigars that looks more like a cigarette. He offered one to me silently, and I shook my head.

He lit it and took a deep inhalation and let it out, as if he had been holding his breath for a long time.

“I’m not going to be managing your family’s money,” he said.

I turned to look at him. He was staring out into the darkness.

“I’m a businessman. I have to assess the cost-benefit analysis,” he said. “And I’ve decided that the amount of time and attention and care that would be required in this scenario is . . . more than I’m willing to undertake. I’m sorry, Timothy. I’ve known for a little while. I thought I’d wait until after your wedding, but it didn’t seem right not to let you know. Sorry to cause you the inconvenience of doing all the work to unwind the fund, and then not to go forward with it.”

He had no idea, but he had just given me the best wedding gift I could have imagined. My mother was going to be beside herself.

“Alejandro,” I said. “I completely understand. You’ve been fantastic. If you ever need anything, just let me know. Like a kidney, or anything like that.”

He laughed. “I like you, Timothy. I didn’t think I would, but I do.”

“What’s going to happen with you and Emily?”

He took another puff from the cigar, and narrowed his eyes as he blew out. “I don’t know.”

I nodded. “Sorry about that.”

“Well, we’ll see what happens. Anyway, I wanted to tell you.”

“Thanks again,” I said. I turned and held out my hand. He took it and held it.

“If you would consider working in a team, give me a call. And just to sweeten the pot, I’ll take care of your mother for tonight and tomorrow. I’d really like to have you on board. I’d give you your own fund to manage.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said.

“Good.” He nodded, stubbed out his cigar, and went back inside.

I stood out there a moment more, breathing in the night air, hearing the murmur of voices through the glass doors. Then I turned around and looked back inside. Andrew was still talking, but he didn’t seem to notice that no one was listening to him. People had broken out into little conversations. The most disturbing development was that somehow Tammy and Edward had shifted seats and were now sitting next to each other, shamelessly flirting. I thought that might happen, and had hoped to prevent it, but I should have known better.

I looked around the table. It seemed that Marcus had taken on my sour sister. But my favorite pairing was Neil and Celia. I saw Celia trying her tricks on Neil, and Neil simply wasn’t biting.

I took a breath and went back inside.

As at all rehearsal dinners, everyone drank too much, ate too little, and stayed too late. It was past eleven when we left the restaurant. Only Andrew, his wife, and my parents, who were staying at the house, had to drive, and I’d hired a car for them. For the rest of us, the B&B was only a few blocks away, so we walked—though some of us not so steadily.

I had my arm around Nora. She had been so quiet all night. She was normally quiet, but this was even quieter than usual.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Sure,” she said, without looking up at me.

“You nervous about tomorrow?”

“I was nervous about tonight.”

I noticed that she hadn’t answered my question—and I wasn’t happy about it. But I had discovered that when I pushed her, she tended to shut down. So I only said, “You don’t seem very excited.”

“It’s having the families around. It’s a little stressful.”

“But look how well it went tonight.”

“It went all right,” she said.

“All right? It went better than all right.”

She didn’t answer me because at that point Edward spotted a bar and said, “Hey, who’s game for getting another drink?”

“I’d be up for that,” Tammy said, almost immediately and not surprisingly.

Everyone else offered a low murmur of negatives until, very surprisingly, Celia said, “I’d like another drink.”

You should have seen the look Tammy turned on her. I could tell that in high school Tammy was one of those girls that was truly feared. She was tiny, but with an arsenal of looks like she had, she
must
have been feared. Celia pretended not to notice.

I imagined pitting Celia and Tammy against each other. Who would win? I would have bet on Tammy in the ring, but in this situation there wasn’t much she could do. Tammy and Edward and Celia headed off to the bar, while the rest of us continued on to the B&B.

We said our good-nights in the lobby. I played the gentleman with Nora’s mother and sister, then I walked Nora to the door of her room. I had decided to go with tradition and get separate rooms for the night before the wedding.

Nora stood with her back against the doorsill, looking up at me.

“I love you,” I told her.

“I love you too,” she said.

I kissed her, and her lips were as soft as ever.

“Guess what?” I said.

“What? ”

“We’re getting married tomorrow,” I whispered.

But it was like so many things in life that we think we know for certain—they’re not so certain at all.

 

 

 

 

I went back to my room, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and was just getting out of my clothes when I heard a soft knock on the door.

I was sure it was Nora, and I loved the fact that she couldn’t stay away.

“Come in, door’s open,” I called.

The door opened, and I discovered it wasn’t Nora. It was Celia.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, with a smile that I knew well.

Now I realized why she had said she wanted to go for a drink with Tammy and Edward. It was an excuse not to go back to the room with Marcus, so she could slip away and come back here.

“Celia, what are you doing here?” I asked her.

After Nora came to the city, I ignored Celia’s calls for a few weeks, until I realized she wasn’t going to stop calling. I finally picked up and told her it was over with us. She seemed to take it well. She said only, “Too bad. Let me know if you change your mind.” And that was it. Until now.

In answer to my question she said, “What do you think I’m doing here?”

“Celia, for God’s sake, I’m getting married tomorrow, and your husband is just two doors down.”

“I know,” she said, her smile getting wider.

I couldn’t resist.

It wasn’t about Celia. I didn’t actually care about Celia. It was the thrill of doing something you’re not supposed to do—something that would shock and appall other people. I had never been able to resist that.

“Come here,” I said.

And she came.

When I made the decision, Nora didn’t enter into it. I know that sounds strange, but I loved Nora. It seemed so clear to me that what I did with Celia didn’t affect how I felt about Nora. If anything, it made me love Nora more.

Celia was a noisy lover. It was part of what made it so exciting. And she was louder that night than usual.

I tried holding my hand over her mouth, but that only muffled it. She was so loud I didn’t hear the door (which was still unlocked) when it opened.

Celia’s head was thrown back and her eyes were closed. Then she opened them to look at me, and her eyes slid past me, then they widened in shock.

It was instinctive—I didn’t even think; I just turned my head to look.

 

 

 

 

Timothy was so pleased with how the rehearsal dinner went—but he didn’t know everything that happened. It didn’t go quite as smoothly for me. In fact, my whole world blew apart right before the tiramisu was served.

The waitstaff was clearing the plates from dinner, and pouring more wine, and the room was loud with all the conversations—and not with yelling. It was going well, and I was just starting to relax and think that a miracle might happen.

I slipped out to go to the ladies’. I heard the door open and someone else come in while I was in the stall. When I came out, I found my mother waiting for me by the sinks.

“So, what do you think of the dinner?” I asked, trying to be upbeat. It didn’t work.

She ignored my question completely. She said, “Nora, I have something to tell you.”

I had just turned on the faucet to wash my hands. “What is it?”

“I’m dying.”

I shut the faucet off and turned to face her. “
What
?”

Now that she had my attention, she was suddenly very busy rummaging in her purse. She pulled out a lipstick, opened it, leaned into the mirror, and then she paused and said, “I’ve stopped the chemo. There’s no point in continuing on with it.”

“Is that what the doctor said?”

She applied the lipstick and pressed her lips together. When she spoke again, she didn’t answer my question. Instead she said, “Honey, you knew this was coming.”

“No,” I said. “No. You told me that you were getting better.”

“Well, I didn’t want you to worry.”