Thrust (20 page)

“Goodnight, Kyan.”

“Goodnight, Calla,” he whispers back, before I close the door and walk away.

I’m going to have to do this on my own . . .

I’M DUE TO MEET Kevin Goode in thirty minutes at his office. I’m usually never nervous, especially when it comes to deals that I know I’ll have no problems closing, but I’m definitely feeling on edge today.

My mind keeps going back and forth between thinking about this deal for the gym and thinking about how Calla has to face today on her own. I just can’t seem to get past the hurt I saw in her eyes last night when I told her I couldn’t make it. She tried to hide it, but it was clear as day.

Straightening my tie, I grab my wallet and shove it into my pocket while making my way into the kitchen. I open the fridge, pull out a bottle of water, and get ready to open it, when I notice the corner of a white piece of paper, sticking out from under the kitchen island.

Curious, I pick it up and quickly unfold it to see that it’s addressed to Calla. I almost fold it back up and get ready put it back down, but my damn curiosity gets the best of me.

Swallowing, I read over the letter.

Calla,

I know that it’s been a while. It’s been a little over 2 years to be exact. I’ve tried numerous times to reach out to you, but after being repeatedly shut down, I’ve given up. I apologize for that. I know that I hurt you and it should be on me to keep trying until you forgive me, but I didn’t. I’m not as strong as you. I never have been. That’s why when I started having feelings for Jordan, I couldn’t shut them off and walk away. The thing that kills me every day is that I know you would have been able to if the roles were reversed. You may not think that I’m hurt by that day when you walked in on Jordan and me, and that it doesn’t haunt me still to this day, but it does. I’m sorry, so very sorry, but you can’t stop love. Love is a force that cannot be controlled. I know it might hurt for you to read this, but I love Jordan more than I love life. If I didn’t . . . then I wouldn’t be marrying him, but I also love you. You may not believe me at the moment, but I do. That’s why I want you there. I don’t expect you to be my maid of honor or a bridesmaid or to even watch me walk down that aisle, but just knowing that you’re here for my special day will be enough. Please, please, please think about it before saying no.

Love your sister,

Chrissy Reynolds.

The letter falls out of my hand as I run my hands over my face and clench my jaw. My chest aches at the thought of Calla having to go through this bullshit. It fucking hurts on a personal level. Now I see why she was so torn about going today. I know more than anyone what it feels like to be hurt by two people that you love. I’m still living in the pain to this fucking day.

I walk around in a fucking daze as I repeat the letter in my head. I should be leaving right now. I should be out that door, but I can’t bring myself to leave.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry, Calla.” I freeze mid stride and slowly rub my hands down my face. I’m standing here, lost in my own thoughts, until my phone vibrates in my pocket.

I pull it out to see a message from Kevin Goode.

Kevin: I only have a limited amount of free time so please be sure to be here at our scheduled time. This is a one-time opportunity, Mr. Wilder.

I tug on my tie, suddenly feeling as if I can’t breathe. I need to go before it’s too late.

A one-time opportunity . . .

Grabbing my keys, I rush out the door and run to the elevator. I continue to push the button until the elevator doors swing open in front of me. I stop and look at Jessica standing before me, my heart completely stopping in my chest. It’s been three years since I have seen her and now here she is in front of me, looking as if she wants nothing more than to throw her arms around me and cry.

She steps out of the elevator and looks me up and down. “Kyan . . .” She gets ready to hug me, but I put my arm out stopping her. “I’m sorry. It’s just been so long,” she says.

I grind my jaw and watch as she plays with the strap of her purse. “What do you want, Jessica? I really don’t have time right now.”

Looking at her, I can’t help but to notice how good she looks. She looks just as beautiful as the day I fell in love with her: long, red hair, little freckled nose, and the longest legs I’ve ever had the pleasure of touching. That used to be my favorite thing about her . . . until I found out she was wrapping them around my best friend when I was away on a business trip.

“I miss you.” Her big blue eyes meet mine and I can see the truth in them. There’s no denying the pain in her eyes right now. You’d have to be blind not to notice. “I was hoping we could talk. I know that we can’t just work things out over night or even after a week, but I want a chance to start over. I love you, Kyan, and I’ve never stopped.”

Shaking my head, I give her a good long look and realize what I’ve been missing all along; the one fact that I’ve been denying to myself over the years. “I don’t love you anymore,” I say. I don’t even realize that I’m saying the words out loud until she covers her mouth and tears roll down her cheeks. “Go take care of your kids, Jessica. Forget about me, and what we had. Give Bryant a fucking chance, because
we
will never be together again. You had the chance to be my wife, but it wasn’t meant to be. I’ve spent years hurting over you, but I’m done . . .”

I step into the elevator and hit the button. “I have to go. Tell Bryant I said hi.”

“No, please.” She reaches her hand out to stop the elevator. “Kyan . . . think about this. We could be together just like old times.”

I let out a stupefied laugh, not believing my fucking ears. “Yeah. You, me, and your two kids that you have with my
best friend.
You just had to have him then, well now you do. Wake up, Jessica. Have a good life.”

The elevator door closes and I smile at the huge sense of relief that washes over me. I have refused to see Jessica since our split, but seeing her just opened my fucking eyes. We were minutes away from walking down the aisle last time I laid eyes on here. It blinded me, but the truth is I haven’t loved her in a long time. It was the betrayal that hurt me more than losing her, and that’s something I need to never fucking forget.

Ten floors have never seemed so fucking long before. I feel as if this is the longest elevator ride of my damn life as I ride it down to the first floor.

The elevator doors open and I immediately step out, walking at a steady pace until I’m outside and heading toward the back parking lot.

Stopping for a second to compose myself, I open the door to my Mercedes and calmly get inside, shutting the door behind me. “Take care of business, Kyan.”

I sit here, squeezing my steering wheel, trying to figure out things in my head, before starting the engine and taking off.

I have to do this. I can’t force myself not to . . .

THE PARK IS SO BEAUTIFUL that it causes an ache in my chest, as I look around at all the scattered flowers below my feet. My sister has always loved lilies and now they’re everywhere I look. There’s no escaping them or this.

I refused to show up too long before the wedding, so I had Tori drop me off at the hotel and take the car so she could set up. My father picked me up about twenty minutes ago and I have been trying in every way possible to ensure I don’t run into Chrissy. I’m here. That’s enough for now. I’ll have to ease into the rest.

The ceremony is due to start in ten minutes, so I’m walking around by the water, waiting for everyone to take their seats. Of course, Chrissy reserved a special spot for me in the front row, so I have no choice but to sit there and feel awkward, especially since I won’t have Tori next to me.

I’ve gotten glimpses of Jordan from afar, but I’ve been trying to block that image from my head. That jerk doesn’t deserve my heartache. He meant everything to me. I loved him with everything in me and he promised me that he did in return. We met during my senior year and we became inseparable. I actually thought that he was
the one;
the one that I would start a family with and live happily ever fucking after with. Boy was I wrong . . . so wrong.

Walking in on Chrissy riding Jordan’s dick as if she needed it to survive will always burn in the back of my brain, ripping my heart out. That is an image that you
never
get rid of, no matter how many times you fight it. Trust me. I’ve tried and failed miserably. I mean who the fuck cheats on his girlfriend with her sister and then marries her?

“Hey, Calla . . . wait up.”

My heart skips a beat and I stand frozen on the spot at the familiar sound of Jordan’s voice. I haven’t heard it in years, and hearing it now almost feels as if no time has passed. The sound is like a knife twisting in my damn heart. I hate it!

I hear his footsteps behind me, before I feel his hand grab my arm. “Calla. Can I have a second? Please.”

Swallowing back my emotions, I pull my arm out of his reach and stiffen my arms at my sides. I don’t want his hands anywhere on me. The thought disgusts me. I can’t even look at him, so I give him my backside as I speak. “What do you want, Jordan? You’re getting married in less than ten minutes. No need to waste your time on me.”

“Calla . . .” He lets out a small breath and I feel his body almost touching me from behind, but he stops, not letting himself get too close. “I just want to thank you for coming. It means more to your sister than you could ever imagine. She was so afraid . . .”

I spin around and face him, cutting him off. “What, Jordan? Afraid that I wouldn’t come watch her happily ever after happen? The two people that meant the most to me in the world that betrayed and hurt me? Was she afraid that I wouldn’t suffer through it so I can see how happy and in love you two are? Huh? Is that what she was afraid of?” Seeing his face up close makes me feel nauseous.

His eyes widen and I see him swallow nervously as he looks behind me, over my shoulder. Good. Someone’s watching. I don’t care who the hell sees my little outburst. They can watch from afar, because I’ve been holding this in for years.

He takes a quick breath and releases it. “No. Calla. That’s not . . .”