Thursday the Rabbi Walked Out (8 page)

“Today they have the Good Fence over at the Lebanon border.” said Burkhardt. “And those aren’t their own they’re giving free medical treatment, any Arab who comes to the fence. Christian or Moslem, who needs help, gets it.”

“Yeah, how about that. Padre?” Jordon jeered. “Those are Christians that are being slaughtered, and nobody in the Christian world lifts a finger or even protests, not the Pope, not your World Council of Churches, not the Christian countries. Only the damn Jews. It’s downright embarrassing. No wonder that no one supports them in the UN, that’s the point I was making, they make everybody uncomfortable, so everybody votes against them.”

“The United States doesn’t do much better there.” Jason Walters pointed out. “And if you come right down to it, most countries hate us, too.”

Jordon chortled. “Sure they do, and it’s for the same reason, we’re a little that way: ourselves.”

“Hogwash! They hate us because we’re rich and powerful,” said Megrim.

“No, that’s not it.” Jordon asserted. “When you’re powerful, you’re feared. Sure you may be hated, but only as long as there’s reason for being afraid of you. In World War II we hated the Japs and the Germans because we were afraid of them, we didn’t hate the Italians because we weren’t, and as soon as the war was over, we also stopped hating the Japs and the Germans. You want to know why America is hated today? Why all this ‘Yankee. Go Home’ propaganda? It’s because we were guilty of perpetrating a terrible act of charity, the Marshall Plan. Never before in the history of the world had a conquering country set out to rebuild the countries it had defeated, we gave away millions, with no strings attached, and we’ve been hated for it ever since, and they’ll go on hating us until the memory of that tremendous moral act is dimmed or forgotten.”

“That’s pure hogwash, Ellsworth,” Megrim drawled. “The reason they dislike us is because we’re brash and pushy when we’re in their countries, maybe it’s because we’re away from home, or because we don’t know their language or their customs, so we feel a little uncertain and we cover up by being, well, assertive, and that’s why we tend to dislike Jews – because they’re pushy.”

“I wouldn’t say they were pushy:” said Burkhardt. Now that the conversation was on a philosophical level, he could speak calmly. “I think they’re a little more intense than we are, that’s all. My partner, for instance, when he gets involved in a project, it’s as though the whole world depended on it, the same when he tries to relax and play golf, he races through the course. It’s as though everything he does is a little bit more, as though he’s operating on a higher body temperature, if you see what I mean, and I’ve noticed it in others, too. It may be something in their genes. Stands to reason, with all the trouble they’ve been through, pogroms and what not, those living today must be the result of a special selection process.”

“Not at all. It’s their religion,” Jordon declared flatly.

“They don’t have any religion,” said Dr. Springhurst, his interest stirred for the first time.

“Cummon, Padre, they invented it, the modern kind, I mean,” said Jordon.

“They did, and for a while, they were a religious people, the Lord was close to them in those days and proved Himself with miracles.” The old man shook his head lugubriously. “But the more He proved Himself, the more they moved away from Him. Imagine, after a miracle like the parting of the Red Sea, they constructed the golden calf. Nevertheless they remained a religious people. It was during the life of our Lord Jesus that the great change came, he saw it and tried to prevent it, that was His mission, to prevent the Scribes and the Pharisees from turning the true religion into a kind of practical ethical culture society, they don’t have a God, not one they can look to for salvation, their God can’t be known, by definition, if you please, he can’t be seen, he can’t even be imagined, he’s like X in algebra. It enables them to justify any regulation or code of rules they wanted to set up: ‘Do it because it is commanded by the Lord.’ They don’t demand faith, they have no hope of heaven, no fear of hell, merely a code of behavior justified only with ‘Thus saith the Lord.’ See, that way they don’t have to prove anything, they don’t have to convince their people that it’s right or worthwhile or intelligent or practical, there’s no argument about a different way or a better way by the opposition. Merely, this is the law because God says so. Sure, they passed some good laws, as any governing body would be likely to do, and some damn silly ones, too, But that’s not religion any more than the American Constitution is religion, or the Code Napoleon, that’s what our Lord Jesus fought against. This wasn’t the usual backsliding that Moses had to contend with when they turned away from the God of Israel to other gods. But this was turning away from the basic concept of religion, the relation of a man to God, that’s why they are disliked. Ellsworth. Because they are the one godless people.”

“That puts them right in your church, Ellsworth,” said Megrim, grinning. “They’re a bunch of atheists according to the good doctor.”

“Nah.” With a wide sweep of his hand. Ellsworth Jordon made a gesture of dismissal. “You’ve missed it, Padre, we don’t object to them because they’re godless. I certainly wouldn’t on that account, maybe they did give up their religion for an ethical culture society. But not content with that, they then palmed Jesus on the rest of us. Remember, He’s one of theirs, they foisted Him on us, and they slid out from under, they gave us a religion that nobody can follow – turn the other cheek and all that sort of thing, while they developed a system, a set of rules, if you like, that people can live with, that’s what we resent, that they eased us into a religion that makes us feel guilty all the time.”

“But you don’t follow it,” Megrim insisted. “You say you’re an atheist, so I can’t see how you’re affected.”

“Sure. I’m affected.” said Jordon. “I grew up in it, didn’t I? Once you’re exposed to something like that, you can’t ever get rid of it. It’s what enables them to do so well at – oh, all sorts of things, their minds are clear, they’re not guilt-ridden, they’re not weighted down with superstitions, their mathematicians or doctors or physicists, nothing they believe conflicts with their science, they don’t have to keep a portion of their minds in a water-tight compartment, the way we do. So they have a tremendous advantage over us, they function more efficiently, so it seems as if they are operating at a higher temperature.

“The Christianity they gave us consists of concepts that no one but a saint could possibly follow – and I’ve often wondered what their dreams were like, all this business of’ ‘turn the other cheek.’ and ‘If thine eye offend thee, pluck it out.’ and ‘Love thine enemy,’ it’s beyond the capacity of a normal human being.

“On the other hand, the Jews set up a religion, or a code of ethics or what have you, that a normal person can follow, like helping each other out, and respecting each other, and enjoying life by eating and drinking and having families.

And what’s the result? We don’t follow our rules because they’re beyond our capacity, and we keep only the irrational and the superstitious elements – the fear of going to hell, the guilt feelings we have when our minds perform their normal function of questioning the impossible. Whereas the Jews stick to their principles because they’re well within human limitations, and sometimes they even manage to follow the Christian rules – when it’s convenient, or good business, or reasonable, like in this Good Fence. But that’s loving your enemy and turning the other cheek.”

A thought occurred to him. “Hey, you guys want to know something? Theirs is the only Christian nation in the world today. How about that. Padre? Here your church has been trying for centuries to convert them, and in the meantime they’ve converted themselves, and you didn’t even know it.”

“Well, now that you’ve proved that Jews are Christians, do you feel different about Segal’s membership?” asked Megrim, grinning.

“Hell no.” said Jordon. “I’m still going to blackball the sonofabitch.”

“I – I don’t understand.” said Burkhardt. “What don’t you understand?” asked Jordon.

“On the one hand you claim that Segal is a better man than you are, and on the other hand, you say you’re going to blackball him.”

“So what? Suppose you’re gaga over some woman, and you know she’s mean and petty and downright nasty. Does that mean that you’ll stop desiring her? Desire, or dislike for that matter, or any of the emotions, they have a logic of their own.” He leered at the younger man. “When you’re young, you tend to be careful what you think. Ideas come into your head, but if they’re not the right kind of ideas, you push them away. Either you try not to think of them, or you twist them around to where they’re respectable. You’re afraid they’ll annoy your family or your boss or an important customer or client. But when you get to my age, especially where you don’t have a family or a boss or important customers, more particularly when you’ve been brushed by the wings of the Angel of Death as I have, then you don’t have to worry about strange ideas that come into your head. You can face them and even think them through, and then go on and do as you damn please.”

“And it doesn’t bother you if you’re inconsistent?” urged Burkhardt.

Jordon smiled broadly. “Not one damn little bit. So I can say that the Jew is a better man than I am, and I still don’t want him around.”

“You know. Ellsworth.” Megrim mused, looking up at the ceiling, “this young fellow you’ve got living with you, the wife saw him yesterday at the bank and was saying she thought he looked Jewish.”

Jordon stared blankly. “Oh, my God. I forgot all about Billy. Look. I’ve got to run along.” And rising hastily he left the room.

Although he believed in discipline. Jordon was no martinet, and in handling Billy, Jordon had been careful never to be too severe, after all, the boy was not really under his jurisdiction, he was free to go and might well leave if things got unpleasant. Besides, he wanted Billy to like him.

If he had thought that the boy was going to be so stubborn, he would not have locked him in his room in the first place, he had expected that Billy would certainly submit before it was time for him to go to the Agathon. When he did not, of course he had to carry out his threat, but he had intended to stay at the club only long enough for a drink and get back in half an hour at the latest, he had not intended to get involved in a long discussion, certainly not one that had lasted as long as this one had.

He shut the front door with a bang and waited for the boy to call out and ask to be released, there was no response, a little worried now, he went to the door of the boy’s room and knocked, then, his ear to the door, he listened intently. Still hearing nothing, he turned the key and flung open the door, the room was empty!

It was clear what had happened, the boy had climbed out of the window, no great feat since the room was just above ground level, the window was ajar an inch, obviously so that he could raise it easily and climb back in on his return. Nevertheless, he looked in the closet and was relieved to find that Billy’s clothes were still there. Jordon began to chuckle, then he slapped his thigh and roared with laughter, he left the room and locked the door once again, the boy had shown spirit and he liked that. What’s more, he had got his own way, and without whining or arguing, and his way of doing it had meant that neither of them had lost face, he admitted that he was pleased at how it had worked out.

A thought occurred to him, and he reached for the phone and called Lawrence Gore.

“Is Billy there with you. Larry?” he asked.

“No, Ellsworth, he just left, anything important? I could yell to him from the window.”

“No; and I’d rather you didn’t tell him I called.” He chuckled. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the bank and I’ll tell you about it. By the way, what time did he get there? – About eight? What do you know?”

The boy must have left within minutes after he had been locked in, he rubbed his hands together gleefully-Wonderful!

With hat and coat on, Henry Maltzman took a quick look around the office, snicked off the lights and prepared to leave, then the phone rang. It was Laura, of course, she always managed to catch him before he left.

“Henry? Would you stop by the market on your way home? I need a few things.”

“Sorry, Laura. I’m not coming straight home. I’ve got to see the rabbi first. It’s important.”

“Well, couldn’t you pick up these few things first and –”

“Nothing doing. I’ll get stuck at the market, and then by the time I get to the rabbi’s, he’ll be getting ready to leave for the evening service.”

“Then after you see the rabbi –”

“The market will be closed. No. Laura, you’ll have to get them yourself or just manage without.”

“But we’re having people over tonight. Have you forgotten?”

“No, I haven’t forgotten. But I can’t help you. Call the market, they sometimes deliver in an emergency.”

In the rabbi’s living room, half an hour later. Maltzman talked of his great coup. “Do you realize what it will mean for the temple, having a man like Ben Segal as a member?”

“What will it mean?”

“More members.” Maltzman answered promptly. “Everybody likes to belong to an association – a club, a lodge, a temple, what have you – with a big shot. It’s human nature. If it’s a big, successful business tycoon like Ben Segal, maybe they figure his luck will rub off on them. Or maybe they hope to transact some business, or even get some advice on some stock they own. Mostly, it’s just so they can do a little name dropping. ‘I was saying to Ben Segal – you know, of the Rohrbough Corporation – he’s a member in our temple – ‘ That kind of thing.”

“Well, I can think of better reasons for joining a temple, but I don’t insist on them,” said the rabbi good-humoredly.

Maltzman grinned. “Or we wouldn’t have enough members for a minyan.”

The rabbi grinned back. “All right, so did you sign him up?”

“Well, there’s a little hitch, from his point of view.”

“What’s the hitch?”

“Well, see, when he was a youngster, his folks were awfully poor, they had this little store where he used to help out right after school. So at the time, when he was thirteen, they couldn’t afford to have a Bar Mitzvah for him.”