Thyla (18 page)

Perrin tried to chase them. He tried to get her back. But he returned to us alone, and with a face that looked as though it was made of marble. He shook his head. ‘They disappeared,’ he murmured. I felt as though my heart would explode.

‘But shouldn’t we even
try?’
I cried, pushing the sobs back down my throat.
I do not cry.

Perrin shook his head. ‘They will have set up sentries to trap us. If more of us go now, unprepared, we will all be killed. We need to make a plan. Rhiannah is in danger. We don’t want to put her – or any of the rest of us – in
more
danger. Besides, we don’t know where to go. We don’t know where they hide; where their headquarters are.’

Isaac continued. ‘Lord lets me in only as much as he needs to. I only see him on neutral territory. Perhaps if I allowed myself to be changed into a Diemen, he’d let me in more, but I have him convinced it’s better that I stay “human”. They need someone who doesn’t need to feed the way they do – someone who doesn’t need to hunt – to be their eyes and ears while they’re doing so. This has its advantages – I don’t need to transform into a blood-bathing psychopath – but it also means we don’t know where their den is. In times like this, that would be useful –’

Perrin interrupted. ‘You
will
promise me you won’t go off after her, okay, little girl? I know you want to protect her, but I won’t let you get …’

He trailed off. I felt anger flame deep in my belly.

‘Little girl’. He always called me that. I hate how he calls me that.

I glared at him. Made my Angry Tessa face.

But even as anger bubbled and boiled within me, the pull towards him grew stronger. I wanted to go to him. I wanted to put my arms around him and say it would be better. I would make it better. It was only Isaac’s presence that prevented me.

And the knowledge that I would have been lying. Rhiannah had been taken. I had no idea how to make that better.

None of us knew. What we did all know was that despite the hundred and sixty years of similar fights behind us, this time it was different. For one thing, there was Ms Hindmarsh. Through gaining her trust, Lord had infiltrated Cascade Falls. We wondered how many other people there were working for Lord, embedded in places he could use for his …
game.

And Rhiannah had been taken. Alive. The other Sarcos didn’t know why she had been taken. Not yet. But I did. I told Isaac what the Diemen had whispered to me, and I told him what I saw on the day of my accident.

‘This is not good,’ he murmured. ‘It’s starting.’

I didn’t ask Isaac what ‘it’ was. I knew. ‘It’ was the Solution. ‘It’ was the thing we Thyla and Sarcos had feared for centuries. ‘It’ was the Diemens finally achieving enough power to truly balance ours.

I looked around me, to the other Thylas and Sarcos. To the others who would share this struggle.

The Thylas stood on one side of the clearing and the Sarcos on the other. The air between us was filled with tension and with unbearable pain.

On the forest floor were two of our own, slain. One Thyla. One Sarco. There were at least five of Lord’s men as well, face down in the mud. They were beginning to sizzle and melt into blackness, but their defeat did not come close to compensating for our loss.

Mr Beagle was dead. I had seen him fall, and heard Isaac’s tortured howl as he saw it too. They were friends.

Sara was dead too. I could see her curls, now matted down with blood and mud.

They still had white ribbons woven around them.

We mourned. And yet we did not mourn together. We were in two camps: Sarcos and Thylas. I remembered now that it had always been this way.

In the middle of them all, so perfect and peaceful she might have been dreaming, lay Ms Hindmarsh – your friend, Connolly. I’m sorry. I don’t know how she died. I don’t know who did it. I don’t know if it was Thyla or Sarco, or even Diemen. But she’s gone. If it was a Thyla who did it, you’ll forgive us, won’t you? You’ll forgive me and Isaac? We had to do it, Connolly.

She made us do it.

I looked over at Perrin, who had moved away to stand with Harriet. She had her arm around him. I felt a stab of jealousy but I brushed it away. I didn’t even
know
Perrin. There was no reason for me to feel this way and yet … I closed my eyes and I felt his lips on mine. I felt his strong arms around my waist. And it wasn’t like a dream. It was like a memory. But that was ridiculous, wasn’t it? I was just being silly. He was a stranger, and he was rude and ungentlemanly.

And he was a Sarco. And I was a Thyla.

I turned to Isaac. His face looked just as grim as Perrin’s.

‘Are we going to move them?’ I asked. ‘Are we going to bury them?’

‘We don’t move them, Tess. You really have forgotten everything, haven’t you?’

‘I’m remembering,’ I said, defensively. ‘Just … not this part. Yet.’

Isaac sighed. ‘All right. You have to get it all back soon, though, okay? It’s bloody annoying.’ He broke off and looked over at the bodies. ‘Look, Tess,’ he said. ‘It’s already starting. That’s why we leave them.’

I looked again at the bodies. My stomach churned as I saw parts of them had turned to dust. They were fading away.

‘They rot and then become the soil we walk on,’ Isaac continued. ‘It happens much more quickly than it does with human corpses. They’ll have joined the soil again in a matter of minutes. Their bodies won’t be seen or found. The Diemen bodies will disappear, too, but they become blood that seeps into the soil. In this way, the humans they have murdered – whose blood they have fed upon – become part of nature and, I suppose in a way, alive again. It’s natural for us, Tessa. Only humans bury their dead. And besides, they were dead already, technically.’

Dead already. As I was.

Isaac must have noticed the pained look on my face, because he shook his head and said, ‘That came out wrong, Tess. Sorry. When I say they were dead – when we are bitten and we gain the ability to shapeshift, to change from human to Thyla or …’ Isaac glanced over at the other pack across the clearing, and his voice became a growl again, just for a moment. ‘Or
Sarcos
, our old lives die. Our heart stops beating and our lungs stop working but, with the next gust of wind, we breathe again and our heart starts to beat again, and we are
born
again. A new life. Even if some of us are never entirely free of our old lives.’

I knew without asking what Isaac meant. Even though he had a new life as a Thyla, he would never stop trying to defeat Lord. And even though I was changed, too, I would never forget my mother’s death. I would continue to try and make it right.

‘When this new life ends though, Tessa, we become soil, just like everything else. We’re all equal in death.’

So that is how I died. I was bitten. I stopped breathing. My heart stopped beating. And this is how I will live. Thyla.

‘Did you always know it was me? That I was Thyla?’ I asked.

‘Of course,’ said Isaac. ‘You have been by my side this whole time. For more than a century and a half.’

‘Then why didn’t you tell me?’ I blurted. ‘Why didn’t you tell me who I was?’

Isaac looked at his feet. ‘Because it was me who made you like this. I always felt guilty for it. I wanted you to have a chance to be normal again, even for just a little while.’

‘
You
made me Thyla?’ I whispered.

‘After Lord killed your mum, I knew you’d be next. He had his sights on you. You’d known I was a Thyla for a while, of course, although you didn’t know the name for it. You caught me one night. You sneaked out of bed, and you found me in the courtyard at the Female Factory, looking like this. You begged me to change you then, but I resisted. I thought that maybe if I just looked out for you, you’d be okay. You could stay human. You could lead a normal life, without all of
this
.’

‘I’m glad you changed me,’ I whispered. ‘I wish you changed Mum too, so she could have survived. I wish she was still here. But I’m glad that
I
am here. This is who I’m meant to be. I may not remember it, but I feel it.’

‘Yeah, well, it’s not all hearts and flowers, as you can see,’ Isaac said.

I followed his gaze to the third body in the clearing. The only human one. The only one who would be found.

‘Funny the things people will do for love,’ Isaac murmured.

‘Her husband was a Sarco?’ I said. ‘Raphael?’

‘
Is
, as far as we know,’ said Isaac. ‘Though nobody’s seen him for a while. It may be that he was the Sarco you saw, in which case …’ Isaac paused, his eyes looking faraway, a grimace twisting his mouth. My stomach lurched as I thought of what Raphael might be going through. And Rhiannah. Oh, hell.

‘Cynthia knew that Raphael had been turned,’ Isaac said finally. ‘She hated it. She wanted her human husband back. One night, in a meeting with Lord – I was there – she confided in him that something had “changed” about Raphael. Of course, Lord knew exactly what she meant. Lord told her he could change Raphael back. He told her he had some new technology for turning shapeshifters back into humans.’

‘The solution.’

‘That’s what they’re calling it. I really don’t know that much –’

Isaac was interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. As he turned, I saw a tall Thyla standing behind him, their face half-veiled in shadow.

The figure moved sideways and I saw that it was a female. Her markings were light and, on her snout, looked almost like freckles.

‘Hi Tessa,’ she said.

‘Hi Cat,’ I replied. My voice sounded calm but my heart was beating like a military drum. Cat Connolly was standing in front of me. She had survived.

Cat laughed, throwing her head back. ‘I thought you said she’d forgotten me,’ she said to Isaac. He shrugged.

‘I only just remembered,’ I admitted.

The girl walked towards me, and flung her arms around me.

‘Tessa, ya doofus. I
knew
you wouldn’t forget me. You’re the one who saved my life! If it wasn’t for you I’d be Blood Bather prey.’ Cat leaned out, her face serious now. ‘Look, I’m really sorry for leaving you that day on the mountain. If I hadn’t run off, you might never have fallen. I didn’t get far away before I realised you weren’t with me. I started to come back, but then I heard the Diemens coming through the bush and I had to hide for a bit in a little cave. Once they’d gone, I went back to where I left you. When I saw you lying at the bottom of the cliff, my first thought was that they’d done something to you. But I knew they wouldn’t have just left you there. Like that. They would have roughed you up a bit more. They can’t help themselves – the bastards. You were pretty lucky the Diemens didn’t hear you fall, or if they did, I guess they thought it was just a rock fall ’cos they didn’t turn back. Anyway, I could see how bad your injuries were and I knew we couldn’t fix you. We heal faster than humans, but even though you’d improve quickly, I didn’t know if you’d
survive
long enough to get there. So I just put your cuff on and rang … well, Mum, as it turns out. But she didn’t know it was me, thankfully. I decided at the last minute to put on this stupid accent. Lucky I did, hey? God, I feel really stupid thinking I did that now. I was still so new to this. I was still in the human mode of “when in danger, call the police”. I’m smarter now.’

Cat – my
friend,
Cat – smiled again.

I wondered how she was able to smile when her friends had just been killed.

Perhaps it is just as Isaac said – death is normal. It is the way of things. Perhaps Cat knew this.

I could not smile back, though. I grieved. I ached for my lost friends.

And I also ached for you, Connolly. Cat was alive and you were still yearning for her and searching for her. And she was
thankful
you hadn’t recognised her voice!

‘Your mum thinks you’re dead!’ I cried. I couldn’t keep the accusation, the
anger
, from my voice.

Cat’s smile faded. ‘I know,’ she whispered. ‘I hate that. I hate hurting her so much. But Isaac has been looking out for her, haven’t you, Isaac? He got her to come to the city, and he’s been taking care of her.’

‘How could you?’ I asked, suddenly furious. This was all too much – the fight and the death and the pain, and now this? Now Cat coming back and seeming so uncaring about it all. About
you.
‘She’s so worried! You’re letting her worry! It’s not
fair
.’

Cat crossed her arms defensively but her eyes were troubled. ‘I know, Tess. But if she knew I was still alive, she’d send me right back to Cascade Falls. And I can’t just go back there. I was a loser there. I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out now but, well, at least there’s no Charlotte Lord here. She still rules the school, I bet.’

I nodded. Then another thought struck me. ‘Is she one of them? I remember her chasing you. I remember her calling out to her dad that she’d
found
you.’

Cat shook her head. ‘I can’t be sure, obviously, but I don’t think she’s in on it. I think she knew her dad needed to find me, and she was helping him, but I don’t think she knew
why
he was looking for me. You know this, but you’ve forgotten: I was in trouble at school that day. It wasn’t my fault. It was Laurel and Erin. We were on the bushwalk, and we were practising lighting fires from scratch. I got put in their group because I had no partner, and they cheated and used deodorant or body spray or something. Even though it wasn’t my fault, we all got in trouble. Anyway, Lord was on the bushwalk with us. It was some big “tour of the school” thing he was doing, letting everybody see what a great big philanthropist he is. Charlotte and her friends were making fun of me for getting in trouble. I couldn’t handle it, so I nicked off. Lord chased after me. Charlotte did, too. I guess she thought I was just going to get in trouble. She’s a nightmare. She used to treat me like dirt at school. But I’m pretty sure she’s just a bitch, not a Diemen. For one thing, there aren’t any female Diemens. They’re all men. As far as we know, Diemens have only ever been men. Men of a certain age. Charlotte doesn’t fit the Diemen mould. Plus, I used to go to school with her, remember? And I sneaked out a lot. I never once saw her leave campus, and she would’ve had to. To hunt. Unless she only hunted Cascade girls, in which case there would’ve been a lot fewer of us. Lord’s already taken enough of us, but he’s careful. He only takes the bad girls. Like those Scottsdale chicks. Most people at Cascade Falls thought I was just as bad as they were. If you hadn’t rescued me from them I would have been next. You saved me.’