Authors: Tressie Lockwood
Deja dropped beside him and began folding clothes for another box. “You don’t have to do this now, you know. It hasn’t been that long. All your emotions are still fresh. You have to wait awhile.”
He forced a smile. “I’m not as fragile as you seem to think I am, Deja.”
She cast him a look of doubt, and he grabbed for her. She darted away on her hands and knees before he could capture her, but his fingers brushed her side, so close to the beginning swell of her breast. Desire hit him hard, but he resisted it. When he didn’t pursue her further, she twisted around and sat on her ass to watch him.
“About what I said,” he began.
She lowered her lashes and fiddled with the shirt she folded. “Yeah, about that.”
“Don’t you think people will question our being together?” he asked.
Her gaze flew to his face. “Are you serious?”
“You don’t think so?”
She frowned. “I never thought you’d feel that way. You always acted like our being different races meant nothing to you. I guess I thought wrong.”
“Don’t jump to conclusions, Deja. That’s not what I’m saying.” He stood up and paced. “I don’t want to use you. I don’t want to be with you for the wrong reasons either.”
“Sounds like you’re just making excuses.” She heaved her shoulders and appeared to make a conscious effort to calm down. “As far as I’m concerned, I do what I want to do. If anyone doesn’t like it, fuck ’em. I know even in this day and age, people will have an issue. I’d be a naïve idiot not to realize that, but neither do I govern my life in a way that’s based on what others think of me. If you do, maybe you’re not the man I thought you were.”
He gritted his teeth and shoved his hands into his pockets. “I just said I’m not like that, damn it! I asked you because Buck brought it up and—”
“Oh, of course, Buck. We know what an upstanding guy he is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
She rocked back on her heels and crossed her arms over her chest. The movement brought his gaze to her luscious rack, and he chastised himself for not thinking past her physical person. He’d hurt her feelings, something he hadn’t meant to do.
“I told my friend about what we were thinking, and she was all for it. She’s black, by the way.”
“And mine is a jerk because he’s white?”
She shrugged.
“Look, I brought it up because I wanted to be sure I don’t harbor those feelings. I think you deserve better than that. Deja, we’ve been friends for years, and I don’t want to screw it up. Tell me you understand.”
“I understand.”
He peered at her, wondering if she really did or just said she did to make him drop the subject. “I want to be with you, but I have to be sure it’s not because of my dad or anything else. I want to be sure my motives are right.”
“And yet, you’re the one who brought it all up.” She pushed up off the balls of her feet and her hands. “I think I should go for the time being. Give me a call, okay?”
“You’re not angry?”
“No, I’m not.”
He knew she lied, but he let her walk out the door.
Chapter Four
Deja sat across the table from Hank, her date, and regretted ever saying yes. Okay, she planned to force herself to move on from Heath, but Hank might not be the one. She had to give the man credit. After all, he didn’t mind being out on an obvious date with her, including candlelight, dress clothes—dress for him meant clean jeans and a plaid shirt with a tie—and a restaurant other than the diner where Candi worked. Earlier, when it appeared he was headed over there, she disabused him of that notion and told him if he didn’t take her to Robbie Bob’s Steak and Grill, she would go home. He got a grip fast, but their conversation left something to be desired.
“So then, I felt the best thing for me to do was to put my hand up there and help get him out,” Hank was saying. “Sometimes, you have to do that when your calf is in trouble.”
Deja put her fork down with absolute care and swallowed. She would not be sick. Not in this restaurant where everyone would see, and not in front of Hank, even if she didn’t like him. This was Heath’s fault. She knew he hadn’t hurt her on purpose, but that didn’t change the fact that he had. If he didn’t have reservations about being seen in public with her as anything but friends, then he should never have brought it up. Sure, he could blame it on Buck, but she’d heard the uncertainty in his tone. Heath didn’t have a prejudiced bone in his body as far as she knew. She didn’t believe he thought she was less than him because of her skin color, but seeing her as a girlfriend might be beyond him, and she would not under any circumstances sit around waiting for the impossible. Let him mull it over and second-guess himself until he was blue in the face. She would do what she could to get past him, and when she called this ridiculous date a wrap, the next guy could come on.
Her cell phone rang, and she welcomed it as an excuse to interrupt Hank’s monologue. “Excuse me a minute. I have to take this. Hello?”
“Hey,” Heath said.
A thrill ran over her at the deep, rumbling timbre. “Hey.”
“I was thinking you should come over,” he suggested.
“No, I don’t think so. I’m busy.” Temptation to make it clear she was out on a date came over her, but she resisted. She wanted to be the bigger woman and not try to make him jealous. If he wanted to be with her, he would do so without the manipulation. A few days had passed since they last spoke, not unheard of given how busy he got sometimes, but it still pissed her off with the note they parted on.
“Don’t be stubborn, Deja,” he coaxed. “We can have fun together just like we always have.” Deja cursed him in silence, moving her lips. Hank, watching her, paled as if she’d said it to him.
Men are stupid.
“You know there’s so much more to my life than you.” She hung up.
New determination rolled over Deja, and she picked up her knife and fork to cut her steak. She pointed the knife at her date. “Listen, Hank, if you want to find a good woman, a decent one, you better learn what to say to her and what not to say. You’re, what, twenty-five?”
He reddened. “Twenty-nine.”
She chuckled. “I’m thirty-two. Anyway, it’s time we get it together, don’t you think?”
His expression brightened. “Get together?”
“I said get
it
together! That means you need to learn how to talk to a woman. I told you no all this time because of the way you approached me. I didn’t like it.” She noted his embarrassment but plowed on. If she didn’t set the man straight, who would? “And I don’t want to know the details of you birthing cattle at the dinner table. It’s gross. You should have called the vet, for Pete’s sake.”
“But that’s all a part of the natural—”
“Hank.” He fell silent, and she gentled her tone. “I’m sorry. There’s probably a woman who’s right for you, but I’m not her. I give you credit for being bold enough to try. Maybe the way you speak and the subject matter is just right for someone else, not me.”
“So you want me to take you home? I thought we would see a movie later. I was going to drive you over to the next county to see one in that new theatre they got over there.”
She didn’t mind admitting to herself she’d wanted to go check it out, but she had expected the trip would be taken with Heath. No, she had to get over him. If their friendship survived this bump and she forced her feelings to settle down after he’d given them hope, maybe, but she could not count on it.
“Well,” she began, but paused when she heard the screech of tires outside the window. She peered out, but caught only her own reflection and leaned closer, shading her eyes. Her stomach dropped when she recognized the black Dodge Ram. “Ah hell.”
Hank squinted, looking too. “Who is that?”
Deja rolled her eyes. “You don’t want to know.” Who the heck told him about the date anyway? Then again, it was bound to happen. The fact that it took Heath this long to hear took a miracle. That he showed up took her by surprise.
While she sat there, eating the food that had gone cold and pretending to enjoy herself, she waited for Heath to come inside and locate them. Whoever built the restaurant had thought it would be fun to give it a few turns and unnecessary walls. The place had thrown up the cowboy theme all the way down to the stirrups and saddles hanging on the wall as if waiting for a rider to come in and hoist them over his shoulder on the way to his horse.
Deja felt Heath arrive before she saw him. The heat in his gaze burned and excited her at the same time. She sat with tension in her shoulders while trying to appear relaxed. Rather than ignore him, she smiled his way. “Hey, Heath, what are you doing here?”
A scowl marred his handsome face. He was less put together than usual, having mis-buttoned his shirt. “Let’s go, Deja.” Her guess was whoever called told him to get his ass down to Robbie Bob’s stat. She speculated on whether Brenda made the call. No, even if she didn’t agree with Deja’s decisions, she had her back.
Unlike Buck. He would be glad I moved on.
“As you can see, I’m on a date, Heath. Was it important?”
Heath bore down on her and grabbed her hand. Deja yanked away, but he held on. While Heath held her in a firm grip, he didn’t hurt her, but Hank jumped to his feet and stalked over to them. “Get your hands off my woman, Heath. Just like she said, we’re on a date.”
“Whoa, big boy.” Deja stood up and managed to tug her hand free of Heath’s. Who was Hank calling his woman? Hadn’t he heard a word she said about her not being the right one for him, and didn’t he seem willing to take her home early? She put a hand on each man’s chest and pushed. Neither budged. Heath was big and all defined muscle. Hank had nothing to be ashamed of in size, but a layer of softness coated whatever muscle he had beneath. She felt the resistance when she tried pushing him back. He had to be a good two hundred fifty pounds, at least.
“
Your
woman?” Heath sneered. “You’re mistaken. Deja, I said let’s go.”
Before she could say a word, stupid Hank swung on Heath, probably trying to impress her. Heath dodged the punch with ease and threw one of his own. The impact of fist meeting jaw made her cringe, and Hank smashed into the table behind him, sending dishes, food, and the patrons who sat at the table, crashing to the floor.
She’d never seen Heath act jealous, not even when she ran into him with her past boyfriends. He never once called them out or demanded she leave with him, and it pissed her off that he acted like this now.
“I think you need to leave, Heath. I don’t remember saying I belong to either one of you, and I don’t like how you’re acting. If you want to talk to me, you can give me a call tomorrow, and I might squeeze you into my schedule.”
She thought he would make another demand, but his anger seemed to drain away. The rage in his eyes turned to a plea, and her heart stirred. “Deja, give me a chance…please. That’s all I’m asking for.”
She gasped and then nodded. Hank still lay on the floor, knocked out. Deja gathered her purse and rifled through it for money. She laid a couple twenties beside her plate and gingerly stepped over Hank’s legs and the mess on the floor. “Tell him I’m really sorry when he wakes up, okay?” she asked those standing around who had watched the interchange.
When they had settled into Heath’s truck and headed down the road, Deja shook her head. “You know he could press charges, right?”
“Let him. I have witnesses that he swung first.”
“Damn, Heath, why did you act like that?”
He grabbed for her hand, and she let him hold it, her heart racing so much it was hard to catch her breath.
“I think you know why, but we can talk about it at home. You’re willing to come?”
She licked her lips. “Okay, let’s go.”
* * * *
Deja walked into Heath’s living room rubbing her arms. The night had grown cool, and she’d worn a short-sleeved blouse to her date. Heath followed behind her, picking up on her thoughts as if they were connected. “You wore that to your date?”
She peered at him over her shoulder and found his focus on her ass and not her top. She grinned. “You don’t like denim?”
He frowned. “That skirt is so short if you bend over, you’ll give the world a view of your pussy.”
“You wish you got a view of my pussy.” She turned away, knowing he’d have a hard-on in a few seconds, just like last time. Adding a bit extra swing in her hips, she crossed to the couch and sat down. For some reason—no, she knew the reason—she felt deliriously happy. “What’s that box?”
He followed the line of her sight to the item in question. The brown metal casing had rusted, and she suspected it had started out a different color. Age and maybe ill treatment had created dents and tiny holes in spots.
“I found it in Dad’s closet, hidden beneath some floorboards he must have torn up and reset.”
Her eyes widened as she stared at it. “What’s inside?”
“I don’t know yet. Probably just some old junk from his past, but that’s not what’s important to me right now.”
With effort, she removed her attention from the box and looked at him. “What is?”
“You and me.”
Heath took time to get a button up shirt from his room and handed it to her. She thanked him, welcoming the warming material and his lingering scent. She waited until he glanced away before she took in a deep breath.
“Deja, I want to be with you. Let me make that crystal clear.” He sat down beside her, but he didn’t reach for her. She felt lonely not touching him, but she recognized his need to get what he had to say out before they moved on. “I’m sorry I hurt you before, giving you the impression I agreed with Buck. I don’t. I was worried about you being comfortable with me, and I admit I did think about what Buck said, but only to be sure it wasn’t me. It’s not. I’m still concerned about our friendship, but I’m more worried about your happiness.”
She sighed. “You try to protect me too much, Heath, and it’s annoying. I’m a big girl, and I can take care of myself.” She reached for his hand and stroked the rough palm and the callous or two on the tips of his fingers from working nonstop. He was everything she wanted and more. “We can be together if that’s what you want. I…I want it.”