Tiger Moths (13 page)

Yet Steven was still very much a little boy. A shy young man on the cusp of adolescence, he could be moody and a little smart of the mouth, but for the most part he was a good kid living in a difficult family situation.

Steven’s father was an airman at Andersen AFB and his mom was a civilian employee at the base bowling alley. When things were good between them, life was sweet for Steven, but those times became rarer with each passing day. As his father started drinking more, his mother came home later and later each night. Rumors had her in the arms of another man one day, another woman the next – neither of which was true. But that did not matter to Steven’s father. Finally the fight between the two grew so loud one night that the neighbors called the police. That was the last night Steven had spent at his parents’ home.

The confused, angry, hurt child had moved in with his Aunt Becky and Uncle Joe. They were also a military couple, but had never had any children, nor did they want any. In short, they just did not care much for kids. But Steven was family with nowhere else to go, and the Chomorros’ values influenced the couple enough to take him in. So they converted a spare room into Steven’s bedroom and in he moved. Neither adults nor child were quite sure of what they should do next.

Uncle Joe decided that Steven needed some guidance but, feeling ill-equipped to provide it, he had Steven join a club for boys known as Club Champ. The Club’s slogan was “Every boy is a champion.” The Club Champ leader was Airman First Class Matt Phillips, one of Joe’s co-workers and friends in the aircraft maintenance shop. Matt was well-known for the miracles he worked with wayward boys. So Joe felt that this was the ideal solution for Steven.

Airman Phillips was only twenty-two himself and new to Guam. He had only been stationed at Andersen a couple of months, but was already very well-known around the island. In addition to establishing Club Champ, he was the unit liaison for many family support functions, and was always the first to volunteer for any kids’ events. Joe had seen with his own eyes how comfortable Matt was when he related to children. For reasons that Joe could never understand, Matt seemed to really enjoy being a friend and mentor to the kids.

At first Steven had been reserved and hesitant to participate in any Club Champ events, but after only a couple of weeks, Matt had gained his trust. Joe and Becky were so happy that they often invited Matt over for dinner. It seemed to Steven’s aunt and uncle that Steven had turned the corner, and was having the best time of his life. All the pieces were finally falling into place for their young nephew. Then the world they thought they knew fell out from under them.

It happened late one night after dinner. The evening had started out like all the other dinners. Matt came over and they built their own tacos and churned homemade ice cream. Afterward, Steven and Matt went to the backyard and shot some hoops. Becky could hear them laughing and cutting up, as Matt pretended to be a radio announcer.

“There’s two seconds left in the championship game. Pierce has the ball down by one, he fakes, he shoots, he scoooores! Pierce has won the game! And the crowd goes wild!”

Steven would laugh until he could hardly breathe and return Matt’s high fives. “Let’s do it again, Matt,” he pleaded.

And on and on it went. Becky could hardly believe the transformation in Steven. He was a happy, outgoing boy for the first time since she had known him. They played late into the evening, until a passing shower forced them to end the game.

The storm was a real gully-washer. The kind that got your feet and lower legs soaked when you drove a Guam Bomb. It lasted longer than most of the storms, so seeing the time and weather, Uncle Joe invited Matt to stay with them that night. Steven would like it, and the couch was a hide-a-bed, so why not? Tomorrow was Saturday, with no work, so Matt accepted.

Around two o’clock that morning, the storm had finally passed and everyone was asleep. The ocean breeze steadily blew the palm trees. The leaves silently shadow- danced on Steven’s bedroom wall. He had fallen into a deep, peaceful sleep. It was the kind of sleep that had eluded him for many years, for only happy, secure people could sleep like this. People who were loved and wanted, people like him.

Slowly he began to rouse a bit. Still lingering between sleep and consciousness, he thought he felt something, or someone, near him. He did not want to leave this perfect place of contentment he had found in his slumber, but the presence near him seemed to be touching him. Gradually, haltingly, he opened his eyes. At first he saw only the shadows on his wall. But there, standing over him, was another unfamiliar, large shadow.

A shadow of what? A man?
He started to cry out but a hand was over his mouth. He could not breathe. He could not move. He was so scared.
What are you doing here?
Whoever you are, please don’t hurt me!?
His terrified mind lost functionality. His heartbeat was throbbing in his temples.

“Shhhh, it’s okay, little buddy, it’s just me, Matt.” Matt removed his hand from Steven’s mouth.

Steven felt his whole body go limp from relief. He could breathe again, but then he felt it. Something was very wrong.

Matt’s other hand was in a place Steven knew it should not be. He felt it inside his boxers massaging his private parts.
Can this really be happening? No, it can’t be! I’ve got to wake up; I’ve got to wake up!

“There, there, kiddo, it’s okay. You trust me, don’t you, Steven? This is okay. I just came in here to check on you, and while I was here I thought I’d let you feel something I knew you would like. All guys like this; and I know you’ve never had it before. I can tell that no one has ever shown you love before. You know I care about you Steven; you know I do, don’t you? Of course you do; so I just want to show you what it is like to be a man. To feel what it is like.”

Steven said nothing. He tried saying
No, please stop, Matt; stop what you are doing to me!
But he could not get his mouth to open, to utter his mind’s frantic pleas. Then it happened; he could not prevent it. His body betrayed him. He tried with all that was within him to stop it from happening, but to no avail.
Oh, my God, please help me, please!
He wanted to vomit. He wanted to die.

“There, you see, Steven; I knew you would like it. I knew you wanted to feel that way. We all do. It’s so natural, so nice to be loved, isn’t it, my little man? That’s what you are, isn’t it, Steven? You are my little man now. And this will be our wonderful secret, right? No one else will understand what we guys have, so let’s just not say anything to anyone else. Okay?”

Matt touched Steven’s face and turned it toward him. A solitary tear rolled down Steven’s cheek.

“Steven, I told you; it’s okay. No need to cry. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s beautiful and next time I’ll show you how you can make me feel good. There’s a lot more to show you. It will be great fun. Now say it, Steven, say this is our secret and no one needs to know. Tell me you will not say a word, because I am the only one who really knows you, Steven, no one else.”

Steven just wanted all of this to go away, to pretend it never happened.
What have I done to deserve this? I’m so ugly and bad I wish I could just die right now, right here. Why don’t You just let me die, God?
It was the only prayer he could say. But to end Matt’s visit for now, he finally muttered, “Our secret; I won’t tell anybody.”

“There you go. Good man, Steven. Good man.” Matt patted his face.

Steven watched as Matt stood upright. He saw his smiling face, and could not believe what the one person he completely trusted had done to him. It was the face of evil. This was the same face that had brought him such happiness and hope that his life was not going to be a lonely, loveless existence. He saw the monster look at him and turn and walk casually out of his bedroom without another word.

The dancing leaves kept their rhythmic ritual on his wall, but his heart would never know another dance. He lay there numb and tearless.

By the time Steven found the courage to tell Aunt Becky, he had been molested by Matt five more times. Matt was getting bolder and more demanding. Steven knew it had to stop.

Aunt Becky had watched this happy boy sink once again into depression, depression far worse than ever before. She had asked him what was bothering him once, but he said everything was fine. She let it go, for she did not know anything about young boys and their moods.

But now she knew she should have pressed him more to find out what was going on in his life. The day he told her, she was horrified, but she knew he was telling the truth. She realized too that her husband needed to know. But when they told Joe, he just got mad. He was mad at Steven, not Matt, because he did not believe a word of the allegations.

“Steven, you should be ashamed of yourself. Matt’s been nothing but good to you. He has bought you stuff and taken you all over the place. You know there are a hundred better things Matt could be doing with his time than wasting it on you. But no, he cared enough about you to try to help, and this is how you repay him! You are no longer a part of my family! No one in my family would do such a selfish thing. You lying piece of crap. I don’t care where you go or what you do, but I want you out of my house now. I never want to see your punk face again. Get out!”

Becky loved Joe with all her heart, but she could not turn her back on the boy. So, she spent the rest of the night convincing him to let Steven stay. Joe relented, so long as Steven never opened his mouth in his presence. Becky then took Steven to the base legal office where Steven told the whole heart-wrenching story to Dale.

Just reading the case file again made her heartsick. She was more appreciative than ever for her own parents and their guidance in her life.
Thank You, heavenly Father, for the gift of good Christian parents. I pray Your multiplied love for the children without good parents.

Dale now had the unenviable task of trying to prove to a panel of officers that Matt had done these things to the boy. The charges were serious, and the proof was scant. It was not a good case for the prosecution; but she was bound to pursue it. She was determined to not let this injustice go unpunished.

Dale and her co-counsel spent hours interviewing everyone who knew or had any contact with Matt. They concentrated heavily on other members of Club Champ or kids who had been entrusted to Airman Phillips. They even called back to his previous base, but only heard high praises for Matt.

In the end, they found nothing. He was a super troop that had won over everyone who met him. It was a he said/he said case with no corroborating evidence. As general courts-martial go, it was a losing case for the prosecution.

Her co-counsel had tried to get her to plea bargain. That was out of the question, because defense counsel knew they had nothing. Besides, she would not have offered a bargain to a slime ball like Phillips.

The trial started tomorrow, so tonight Dale was left to contemplate the case and her strategy. She did her best thinking late and alone. She went to the place she always went in order to clear her mind. It was the place where she thought best, because it was where she felt the closest to her Creator. It was a remote area of the beach, away from all the lights, away from everything. She could taste the salty air as she climbed out on her rock to watch the moon set over the water. Above her, millions of stars twinkled into the night. Here, she knew in her soul there was a higher power, a power that would not tolerate injustice. A power she wanted desperately to intervene in this case, to somehow provide the evidence needed to show the court what the truth really was.

“I know this is just about impossible, God – no, it is impossible for me to do. Impossible for me to prove this kid is a victim of evil, impossible for this one who has unfairly lost his innocence to see his predator punished. And so I am asking You to do this for me, and to do this for every kid who has been victimized. For every kid who has been betrayed by a father or a father figure. Please, remind them that no matter what, they have a heavenly Father who loves them. You made all of this, all the beauty of this evening, and in the stars are written Your name, and in the wind I feel You. Father, please, please give us a miracle tomorrow. May our daily bread be Your manna from heaven.”

She did not cry, though she thought she would. Instead, somewhere in her core, she felt like she had found a deeper place than she had ever known was there. It was not any kind of assurance that her prayers were answered, or even a wave of comfort. It was just something different, as if a greater gift of - what was it? Was it a knowing? Not exactly. It was a growth, a growth of faith. But that was as far as she could process it.

Dale looked out again over the watery horizon, and thought about the hundreds of miles that separated this island from another area of dry land. She felt small, and the smallness of the island made her breathe deeply. The slightest shift in the underwater plates around the island could erase all life there in a matter of minutes. “Oh Father, our every breath is a gift from You; help me use this life for You.”