Tiger Moths (14 page)

She closed her eyes and tilted her head upward. For a few seconds she remained just like that - eyes closed, listening to the ocean, feeling the breeze in her hair, smelling the fresh air, tasting the salt. Then she opened her eyes and returned to the millions of twinkling stars. They reminded her of another wonderful time when she was a child. They glowed like embers in a fire. And then two shooting stars burned across the tapestry, one chasing the other. Each left behind it a momentary trail – it was like her old glow sticks when she was a child. And then there was the strangest memory. There was a little boy, and her, spelling his initials in the air. He was so excited, so happy. But he was dragged away from enjoying his dream by a big bully. And she had been outraged by it. Then she remembered her own father’s reminder that every child was loved and cherished by God.

Dale left the beach that evening with no answers. There was no new strategy; there was no indication of any last minute Perry Mason moments. She would do what she could. She would make sure that Steven knew she believed him, and that it was not his fault. Other than that it was in God’s hands. And because she knew that completely, she would be able to get some sleep tonight.

N
ASHVILLE
, 1991

The arena was filled to capacity with more than 18,000 screaming fans. The concert had lasted for almost two hours, and they still clamored for more. Girls in straw hats and halter tops sat atop their young beaus’ shoulders and raised their voices. Nearby, crazed young men in muscle shirts and jeans stomped their well-worn boots on the floor.

“More, more. We want moooore!” The chant was deafening, and the intensity seemed to swell. There was going to have to be an encore, or a riot. Each passing moment brought the throng closer to the brink of bedlam.

The sound increased several decibels when they saw Johnny step back out on the stage. He grabbed the microphone and waved to his fans. A girl in the front row swayed and then passed out. Security helped her boyfriend carry her away; the party continued.

“Boys, come on back out. I don’t think we’re finished yet. We’ve some more work to do. Right, folks?”

His band came back on stage in force and the crowd went crazy. The guitar played, and Johnny sang the last song of the evening, savoring every breath. The dream was a reality, and he poured his heart and soul into it. Finally, hitting the last note to perfection, it was finished, at least for this night.

He stole out the back of the building and made his way to the waiting bus. This was what his life had become. It was a series of one night stands, adoring fans, and watching the miles roll by through the bus windshield. He had no complaints, but he had made sacrifices. That was part of life; every decision held its own consequences. It had taken more than three years to go from front band to headliner, and it had taken a lot of hard work. He had arrived, only to discover he had to keep working harder than ever to make it last. But Johnny would do whatever it took to sustain his dream.

Tonight, as he boarded the bus, he was, as always, wet with sweat. One of the crew handed him a towel and a Gatorade, which he took gratefully. It had been one of his best performances ever, and he was exhausted. He plopped down in a nearby chair, releasing a sigh of deep satisfaction.

“Looks like you left it all out there on the field tonight. Good job out there, Clark.”

It was a familiar voice, but for a fleeting moment Johnny fought to place it. When he put it together the large man stepped in front of him. Johnny’s surprise morphed into a huge smile.

“Big Ben, what are you doing here? How are you, man? It’s been a long time – too long. How’d you get in here anyway?” He rose from his seat and hugged the mammoth man. “You are a sight for sore eyes, man. Gosh, you look great – big as ever, but great.”

Big Ben gave him a crushing bear hug. “Little Johnny Clark has made it big time. None of us would have ever thought it would happen, especially after that night at the Farm. Man, I wish Casey Capps could see you now!”

Johnny became somber. “Yea, I was really sorry to hear about Casey. I can’t believe he is gone. Did they ever find out what happened?”

“They said he was going down to the store for his wife to get something. I don’t know what it was, whatever pregnant women crave. He decided to walk because it was only a couple of blocks. Some drunken dude came ripping around the corner and never saw Casey. Ran right over him and kept going. They said he held on long enough to tell his wife he loved her and the baby. He left her plenty of money, but she nearly lost the baby over it. It is just sad, man. I mean they had it all. Casey was really happy and looking forward to the little one; and then he is just gone. Doesn’t seem fair, you know. I just don’t understand when the good ones are taken away so young. He really was one of the good ones.”

Johnny squinted and held the bridge of his nose. “Yes he was, one of the best. He got me started. Giving me my first guitar, when he should have just punched me out and walked on. But the guy had a huge heart. I wish I had known sooner. I would have been at the funeral.”

“We missed you there, Johnny. Almost the whole team was there. It was pretty amazing. Even after all these years, the team was still a team. And even though it was so sad to see a twenty-eight-year-old guy put in the ground, the funeral was just what Casey would have wanted. The gang was together again, telling all of our old stories. And you probably know that the night that he knocked your lights out was one of the first. That was a good one, Johnny. But look at you now. Guess the joke was on all of us after all, huh?”

“Yea, it’s been a wild ride, but I’ll always be grateful to Casey and …” Johnny’s voice trailed off. He looked away, locking his eyes on anything except Big Ben.

“And Ka… Kayla?”

Johnny turned back and met Ben’s eyes. “Was she there, Ben? Did you see her?

“Yes, she was there, and we talked for a little while.”

“How is she doing? How did she look?”

“Johnny, I’m not going to lie to you, man. When you guys broke it off a couple of years ago she was pretty devastated. She went through a really tough time, and she said there were times when she didn’t think she was going to make it. But she did, and she finally moved on.”

Johnny swallowed hard and fought back tears. “You know I really loved her. That’s why we broke it off, because we really loved each other. That hurt, Ben, and it took a long time for me too.”

“But you’ve moved on too? You have, right, Johnny? I mean look around you, man.”

“Sure, there have been other women, but none of them were Kayla, you know. But I’ve had to let her go. So yeah, I have moved on, Big Ben.”

“I’m glad to hear that, Johnny, ’cause I got some tough news for you. I wasn’t sure how you would take this, but here goes. Kayla told me she is getting married next month. Some guy from Georgia; he is the football coach at some small college down there.”

Johnny exhaled slowly. He had not been ready for this news, and surprised himself by his own reaction. A huge void he did not know existed nudged at his heart. He could not breathe, and he did not want to think about Kayla being with someone else. He momentarily thought about Willie, and how much he did not even want Willie to be licking someone else’s face, or peeing on their leg. But he knew they had done the best they could. And in the end, letting each other go was the ultimate demonstration of their love. It was for the best, but it did not ease his heart at all. He looked out the window and shook his head back and forth.

“Johnny, man, I didn’t come here tonight to bring you down. Look where you are in your life. You are at the top, just like you always said you would be. Sky’s the limit for you now. I saw those people out there. They are crazy about you. And I hear your music on the radio all the time. Your stuff is really, really good. Everyone I know loves it. I just told you about Kayla because I knew you would want to know, and I didn’t want you finding out from some reporter asking you how you felt about it.”

Johnny looked back at Big Ben. He smiled and gave him a good-natured wink. “It’s okay, big guy. Thank you for telling me. You are right; this is the best way for me to find out. This gives me time to deal with it privately, you know, before the press asks me about it for about a thousand times. I can get my publicist to work a news release for me. Maybe that will reduce the number of times I have to answer the question. You know, I realize they are just doing their jobs and all, but the press can be horribly brutal. I just can’t believe how insensitive they are to personal matters. I know I can’t change them though, so I have just learned to deal with them a little better.”

Johnny looked away again and continued, “I don’t think people have any idea about how stressful fame is. I hate that it takes away part of my freedom, but it’s not going to stop me from being who I am. I miss Kayla a lot, still. But she knew my dream was too big for her. I wanted her to be in it, but it just consumes me at times and that was not fair to her. It was eating me up, and she could see that. She really is an incredible person.”

“I know, Johnny, but there will be other girls. Just look at that crowd tonight, and I can only imagine what your fan mail is like. Hey, if you have any really hot ones you can toss them over to me. I’m still a single guy with a lot to offer.” Big Ben let out a good-natured laugh.

“What do you have to offer, you big ox?” Johnny laughed.

“You’re kidding, right? I got a lot. Just look at these guns.” Ben flexed his impressive biceps.

Johnny looked at him, sincerity edging his voice. “Ben, you’re a super guy. And yes, you do have a lot to offer. Me, I’ve got a lot of girls around, but it’s going to be a long time before I’m serious again, if ever. There are just things I have to do, and I want to share them with someone, I really do. But I have to be fair and honest, and right now I just don’t have enough to give.”

“One thing about you, Johnny; you are honest, almost to a fault. It’ll work out, man, for both of us; it will just take some time. It will happen when it happens.”

“You’re right.” Johnny’s smile returned and he looked up into Big Ben’s face. “So what’s up with you?”

“Not much, between construction jobs right now. Life is good though.”

A glimmer of boyish delight flickered in Johnny’s eyes. “How ’bout you come work on my crew. Like you said, you’ve got the guns and I need some help. Our road show just keeps getting bigger, and we have a great time on the road. What do you say, big guy; are you in?”

Big Ben did not even think about it. “Sounds fun; why not? I’ll just go get my gear and meet you in your next town. It’s Atlanta, right?”

“That’s right, our next success is Atlanta, and our boy here is going to have them rocking there just like he did here. Isn’t that right, Johnny?”

Big Ben turned and saw an unfamiliar figure climbing the bus steps. He glanced back at Johnny. Before Johnny could say anything the stranger spoke again.

“I don’t believe we have met. I’m Jason Crownfield, Johnny’s agent. How’d you like the concert? It’s Ben, isn’t it?”

Ben reached over and shook Jason’s outstretched hand. “Yes, it is Ben, and I liked the concert just fine. Johnny’s come a long way since his college days.”

“And he is just going to keep getting better and better. So, Ben, what’s this talk about Atlanta?”

Johnny stepped closer to Ben. “I just hired Ben as part of the crew; he is going to start working at the Atlanta show.”

“Oh, I see. Johnny, I thought we talked about these off-the-cuff decisions. We have certain procedures. Remember?”

“Relax, Jason. I’ve known Ben for years. We were almost teammates. He is like family. Believe me, we don’t need any background checks for this guy. He’s cool.”

Big Ben looked irritated. Johnny could tell he did not like the way Jason was trying to run the show. He knew Big Ben well enough to know what he was thinking - that this show was Johnny’s and that Jason was just a jerk trying to make money.

Big Ben looked from Johnny to Jason. “I’m ready to lay him out for you, Johnny; you just say the word. This is your dream, man. You know I ain’t going to let nobody steal your dream from you. Especially some low life like this guy.”

Jason avoided looking at Big Ben. Instead he turned directly to Johnny. “Johnny, you pay me to look out for your own good. I know he is your friend. But you have to understand that fame does something not just to you, but to your friends. You might as well get ready, because now that you are a star, you are going to have old friends coming out of the woodwork. Some of them you will not even know, but they will claim to know you. And I know how good-natured you are. You will invite anyone in because you never see the bigger picture. You never see that some people are bad. They don’t care about you. They want to do you harm. They want to get something on you so they can extort money, or they just want to freeload.”

Big Ben’s face grew fiery red; he could contain his anger no more. “That’s it; I ain’t a freeloader. Nobody ever called me a freeloader, and I’m not about to let some guy like you start now. I knew Johnny way before you did, you no- count bum. If anybody is out to manipulate Johnny, it’s you.”