'Til Death Do Us Part (82 page)

“You just left her out there?” Tracy accused me.

“You know, I wasn’t all that sure I was going to make it back here. I fig
ured she was safer in the truck,
” I said
,
defending myself.

“You need to go get her,
” Tracy said.

“I know that
,
dear. But it’s not like I can just walk out the door and
do that
now
,
is it?”

“Don’t you get condescending with me.”

“Ooh look
,
the finger
should be coming out any second,
” BT said to Gary.

“I don’t know why you’re so smug
,
” Tracy said
,
turning her wrath to the big man. “You’re going out there to help him.”

“Me?” BT begged off. “I always have to pull his scrawny ass out of a scrape.”

“And that’s exactly why you and
I
are going with him.”

“Oh no,
” BT and I said simultaneously.

“I’m used to saving his ass, I c
an’t be looking out for you, too,
” BT shouted.

“BT
,
I’d been sav
ing his ass for close to twenty-
five years before you ever came in the picture. I think if anyone is qualified to do it, it’s me.”

“I hate when you two do this,
” I told them.

“You keep out of this,
” BT told me.

Tracy and BT were still arguing about who was better at keeping me alive when I turned my attention back to Mad Jack who had lost all interest with the ravings of the monkeys below the
one-forty
intelligence quotient level.

“How far back can you push the zombies?” I asked him.

“A
couple of
hundred feet at the most.”

“Will it be fast?”

Mad Jack thought about it for a moment. “Yes
,
they’ll want to get away from the signal as quickly as possible.”

“Okay
. W
ill it be like a fire drill where everyone leaves in an orderly fashion
,
or will it be like a real fire when everyone tramples over each other?”

“The latter I would imagine,
” Mad Jack replied
,
looking up as he pondered the answer.

“Latter…
that means last
,
right?”

He gave me
the
‘
how have you survived this long’ look.

I could have easily returned the gaze.

“There’s one small problem with increasing the power output that much
,
though.”

“Is there any chance you can just tell me what the
problem is without me playing
game show host?”

“It’ll only last for sixty-four-and-a-
half seconds.”

“Exact
ly sixty-four-and-a-half seconds…
or can we give or a take a second or two.”

“Science doesn’t lie,” h
e stated vehemently.

“Alright sixty-four-and-one-
half seconds it is, what happens after that?”

“No more signal.”

“No more extended signal?” I asked hoping.

“No more signal
,
period, ever. I don’t have the su
pplies here to recreate the box,
” Mad Jack told me in no uncertain terms.

“Wait so you know to the half second when the box is going to blow but you can only approximate
the distance the zombies will be effected?” I asked, because I had to.

He shrugged his shoulders like I should leave the heavy thinking to the experts.

Now came the weighing out option. We would need the cover of the zombies to be able to get out of the house
,
but once the signal died
,
thousands of zombies would be pressed up against the structure like the skin of an apple.

“How long will it take for the modifications?” I asked him.

“You mean how long will it take to turn a knob?”

“Hilarious.”

“I need to do some mods first, shouldn’t take more than an hour
,
then it really is the turn of a knob.”

Within a moment or two of Mad Jack going off to do whatever voodoo science he did to tweak his box
,
I was sitting at the kitchen table loading magazines.

“You’re not really going to allow Tracy to go with you are you
,
Mike?” Ron asked, coming up to the table.

“Ron
, you’re married…
when’s the last time you told your wife she couldn’t do something and she listened?” I asked him back. I gave him some credit
;
he actually spent a moment or
two thinking about it. As if,
he would have ever forgot
ten
about a victory that significant.

“Listen
,
I know I d
on’t have any military training,
” Ron began, “but I’d like to go out there with you.”

“I don’t think that’s a great idea. The defense of this house falls squarely on your shoulders. And as soon as MJ’s box fails
, we’ll be in full-
press mode here. When we get Azile
,
and maybe take a swipe at Eliza
,
we’re going to
need someplace to come back to
.”

Ron looked equal parts relieved and distressed.

“You k
now I appreciate the offer.
We’ll be back before you know it,
” I told hi
m as I loaded my fifth magazine.
I wasn’t going
to die from lack of ammunition—
of that fact I was certain.

I could hear Tracy and BT still going on with the merits of who was better equipped to save my ass when I got up from the table.

“We’re leaving in
fifteen minutes. Y
ou guys maybe want to load up?” I asked them.

“We’re not done here,
” Tracy told BT.

“Not by a long shot,
” BT told her as he pulled on the waistband of his pants. “Thanks fo
r saving me,” h
e said quietly as he walked past.

I just laughed.

One more time I half-
heartedly tried to convince Tracy not to come
;
almost immediately the finger of doom came out and I yielded.

We were huddled by the
basement door waiting for Mad J
ack to dial up some zombie despair. Beads of sweat were glistening on Tracy’s forehead, BT had a look of consternation on his face
,
and I had just swallowed a live knot of
garter snakes—
at least that was what my belly felt like. I had not a lick of concern for myself
,
it was spread out for my two traveling companions.

“What some gum?” Gary asked
, his mouth stuffed to near jaw-
bursting proportions. He walked over to us extending a giant pack of bubble gum.

The idea of chewing anything that didn’t start with Alka was making the writhing things in my stomach start
a gymnastic routine. “I’m good,
” I told him.

“Oop
s, wait,
” Gary said as he listened to the cra
ckling in his two way radio. “T-
minus
ten
seconds until operation Zombie Nudge.”

“Zombie Nudge?” BT lipped to me.

“Who knows,
” I told him back.

“Does anyone know what the ‘T’ stands for?” Gary asked.

Over the radio I could hear Mad Jack’s explanation. “
Ballistic equ
ations begin with the variable ‘
t
’
minus the rest of the algebraic equation which accounts for time and distance.
”

“Well now I can die in peace,
” BT said.

“Now?” Tracy asked. “This is the time you want to use that phrasing?”

“No shit,
” I told him. “Pretty fucking insensitive
,
BT.” I chided him.

“Bullshit
,
Talbot, that’s s
omething you would normally say.
I must have just b
een channeling you or something,
” BT snapped back. “And now I’m going into battle with a man with a tinfoil hat on and you’re giving me shit? That’s like the skunk calling the wet dog smelly!”

“What the fuck does that even mean
,
BT? Have you lost your damn mind?” I asked.

“I must have!” h
e shouted.

“Boys!” Tracy said.

“What?” w
e asked
,
turning on her.

Gary popped an over-
sized bubble. “Mad Jack turned the dial.”

That stopped us right quick. I opened the basement door to take a peek outside. Not mu
ch was happening;
the zombies closest to us were trying their best to not become impaled in the trench from the push behind them of newcomers. Then I began to see a sudden change as they went from holding their spot to shuffling backwards
,
and with
in
a matter of seconds
,
they were in a full on
‘
retreat
’
mode.

I had not a clue how we were going to get through the cluster fuck of zombies, all the closest ones were running to get out of range while the others behind were still forging forward and then there were the multitudes that were caught in the crossfire. Zombies by the dozens were being destroyed or irreparably damaged as they were caught within the vise like grips, of the outflow and influx as they in turn also tried to escape the invisible signal that was washing over them.

“Not go
ing to get any better than this,
” I said as I swung the door open.

Tracy gasped at the scene before her, the screams that would be ensuing would have been deafening if they were still people, even so the cracking of bones and cartilage was disturbing maybe even more so because it was done in silence.

“Go
od luck, I’ll save you some gum,
” Gary said as we ran to the right and towards the back of the house and the small footbridge. Gary closed the door and I could hear him engage th
e fortress-
like steel bar across the door.

I couldn’t see any of the guards from our vantage point
,
but I had to have confidence in the fact that they would be fleeing their posts. Vial or not, zombies running at you tends to loosen bladders and bowels. Our progress was hampered by the jumble of zombies strewn around the yard by the time we reached the trailing edge of the zombies still closest to the house we had in the neighborhood of
fifteen
seconds before the box fried itself.

The tree line was easily within distance with nothing in our way, fighting through the zombies was going to make it close. Once the box stopped broadcasting the zombies would again turn and head for the house, we would be caught and in a world of hurt, much like the plethora of zombies littering the ground.

“BT
, we need to make a hole,
” I said pointing towards the nearest large oak. In all fairness by ‘we’ I meant him. He attacked the zombies with gusto, crushing over them like a fat mom does dieticians. I had no sooner touched bark on the tree when zombies in mid-stride changed their direction heading back from where we had come.

“Good luck Gary,
” BT said under his breath, his chest heaving from
the exertion of zombie tackling
as he leaned against the tree looking back at the house that was about to become besieged.

Zombies were within inches as they streamed past
,
a few took a quick glance at us as they ran by
,
but they seemed to be so used to the vials they wouldn’t investigate any further.

I motioned to BT and Tracy that I was going to move arou
nd the tree. BT acknowledged me;
Tracy I had to touch to get her to focus on me and not the shamble of zombies
close
by. I stayed tight to the trunk of the tree. I figured BT and Tracy were following. I don’t know which of us was more surprised me or the guard when I came around the other side of the tree. He had been scratching his head, I would imagine at the peculiar behavior of the zombies when I showed up.