Tilt (11 page)

“Big whoop. Doing things with me

or Brianna’s mom isn’t like hooking

up with someone you’re in love with.”

Believe it or not, it hasn’t been all

that long. You don’t know everything,

munchkin. And the problem with falling

in love is falling back out of it again,

usually because you’ve fallen in love

with a lie. That happens as often as not.

Munchkin!

She hasn’t called me that since

I was a little girl. I hated it then,

and I hate it worse now. Why not

just call me
Oompa Loompa
?

I think about what she said

and how bitter she sounded.

What don’t I know? Has she

fallen in love recently, and

back out again? No. I’d know.

She couldn’t keep something

that big from me, right? Darn it.

That’s going to bug me now.

“Hey, Mom. If you
did
fall

in love, you’d tell me, wouldn’t

you?” She says of course, but

not with much conviction.

I am totally bothered the whole

time we shop for healthy food.

And as soon as we get home,

I call my best friend to discuss.

Brianna

A Best Friend

Listens when you rant

about the bad, the blah,

the totally stupid.

A best friend

comments when you want

her to, shuts her mouth

when you don’t. She

is

the one who laughs at your

jokes, no matter how idiotic.

She can interpret the tone of

your voice,

cries if she hears pain,

smiles at each hint of joy.

She will tell you to stop

when you

don’t see danger or twist

toward wrongdoing. She is

your conscience when you

can’t find it.

Mikayla

A Conscience

Can be an annoying thing.

Especially when considering

a major deception, like sneaking

out to meet your boyfriend.

Tonight won’t be the first time

I’ve done it since I’ve been

grounded. I’ve mostly given

up on listening to that stupid

little nag inside my head. Every

now and then it insists I’ll be

sorry, and maybe I will. But if

Mom and Dad won’t lighten up,

I don’t have much choice but

the covert route to Dylan. So I wait

for all the lights in the house

to extinguish. For every voice

to quiet way beyond whispers.

And then I wait just a little bit

longer before texting Dylan to come

pick me up. The tiny voice complains,

“You even pilfered Brianna’s cell

to send the TM.” And I argue right

back, “Yeah, but she never uses it,

except to call Harley, who’s busy

helping her dad move. And I couldn’t

exactly ‘borrow’ mine from off Mom

and Dad’s dresser, now could I?”

Anyway, I didn’t really steal it.

I’ll put it back in Bri’s backpack first

thing in the morning. She won’t miss

it at all. I check my makeup, lotion

my hands so when they touch Dylan

they’ll be satin-soft. Spritz perfume—

just a little. Don’t want to smell, as Trace

would say, like a Fourth Street hooker.

Luckily, his bedroom is on the other

side of the house. I’m pretty sure

if he heard my window creak open

this time of night, he’d be sure to let

someone (like Dad) know immediately.

So I’m Very, Very Quiet

As I urge the window open,

slip through the gap, holding tight

to the sill. The house is built into

the hill, but it’s still a drop from

my upstairs room to the ground.

Getting back in is harder, but I’ve

figured out how to shimmy

up the rough siding, using the family

room window frame as a boost.

It’s a perfect June night, warm

with a soft sigh of breeze and

star spatters splashed across

the blue-black sky. My heart

skips as the neighbor’s old dog

yaps. Trying to bust my escape.

I hurry down the driveway,

turn toward the main road through

the valley. Dylan’s headlights find

me before I reach it, though.

Just seeing his face, illuminated

through the windshield, fills me

with happiness. I jump through

the passenger door. “Let’s go!”

He gives me a quick kiss, then

guns the Wrangler.
Ty’s parents

are out of town. He said we can

hang out there if it’s okay with you.

I consider our limited options.

The back of the Jeep isn’t very

comfortable, and who knows when

a nosy cop might decide to

check out the usual summer night

party spots. The last thing I need

is my uncle or one of his buddies

eyeing my boobs again. Tyler’s is

safer, and it’s close. “Sounds good.”

Out of the Loop

For a couple of weeks, communications

limited to a covert phone call or six,

I have not been privy to gossip concerning

my posse. Turns out, Ty walked in on

Emily and Clay. Caught them mid-dirty.

Dylan informs me of this so I’ll know what

to say, or what not to say, when we get

there. And then he makes the comment,

I didn’t know your friend was such a slut.

Em and I have been tight since third

grade. My first reaction is to jump in

and defend. But then I remember the last

time I saw her, how she told me she just

wanted to try something new. I look at Dylan,

all iron-jawed in his conviction. “Neither did I.”

Now I’m torn between asserting a semi-

warped sense of morality and standing up

for a friend. My best friend, really. If the Ugg

were on the other foot, would she react

differently? Ack. Relationships are so

complicated. I’ll think about it later.

Meanwhile, until we get to Tyler’s, I let

my hand crawl up Dylan’s thigh, all the way

to the burgeoning bulge.
Quit,
he says.

God, girl, don’t you have any idea how much

I’ve missed being with you? I’m desperate

to show you. Just not here. Five minutes, okay?

It takes three to reach Tyler’s. Thirty

seconds to get through the door, kissing

each other like we’ve never done it before.

The house smells like skunk. Green weed.

Now I know the source. Ty is sitting on

the couch watching TV with Caitlin Bowers.

They barely look our way and suddenly

I hear the canned moans that can only mean

they’re watching cable porn. Disgusting.

Guess he’s not really missing Em.
Make