Authors: Ellen Hopkins
You’re still grounded!
Dad screams.
Grounded means no proximity to your
boyfriend, who, just by the way, is
the reason you’re grounded in the first
place. Why is this even an argument?
He looks at Mom for support and she has to
give it.
Honey, this was supposed to be
a family evening. Dylan probably has plans.
“He does! He planned on hanging out
with me. Please, Mom. I haven’t seen
him in weeks. . . .” Slight exaggeration,
but still. “He’ll buy his own ticket
and everything. Don’t you get it? I have
to see him. I . . . I . . . am in love with him.”
You don’t know the first thing about
love!
Dad is totally freaking out, leaking
spit like a lunatic.
And if you believe
Dylan is in love with you, you’re crazy.
“Shut up, Dad. You think you know
everything.” Who the hell does he think
he is? “Why are you so fucking mean?”
God, that felt good. Almost as good as
seeing the crazy mad look on Dad’s face
right now. But, of course, Mom brings me
back to reality. Convinces me to apologize.
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said ‘fucking.’”
Bizarrely
That makes him laugh. I mean,
like lock-him-up-in-an-asylum
hysterical laughter. Mom asks
what’s so funny, and he says,
She just reminds me of me is all.
I once said something similar to my
dad. The main difference being,
he kicked my ass. I don’t guess
I feel the need to kick your ass,
Mikayla. But regarding Dylan
and the game, my answer is still
the same. And until you show us
a little respect, as far as I’m
concerned, you’re still grounded.
God! He pisses me off. I want to say
more, but he turns on one heel
and leaves the room. Mom tries
to soothe my raw-edged nerves
by telling me she’ll see what she
can do about ungrounding me.
She’s So Playable!
Which works out well for me
when we get to the game. Dad
and my jerk-off brother go for
hot dogs. I give Trace a look
that lets him know without
a doubt if he says a word
about me, I’ll shove that foot-
long down his throat whole.
We’re early enough that the team
is signing autographs. My weird
little baseball-loving sister begs
to stand in the signing line, so
Mom goes along. Which offers
the perfect opportunity to go
find Dylan, who is waiting for
me on the right field walkway.
He stands out from the crowd—
tall and strong-muscled in his
shorts and tank top. Suddenly
I really wish we were somewhere
a lot more private than a ball
game on Fourth of July. But,
as my grandma often says,
half a loaf is better than none.
Turns Out
All we’ll get is a couple of stale
crusts. I am in Dylan’s arms,
kissing him for the first time in
way too many days, when all of
a sudden he goes completely stiff.
Uh, looks like we’ve got company.
I peel myself off him, turn to find
Mom glaring at me. Shit. Damn.
My first thought is to grab Dylan,
push him through the crowd to
the nearest gate. But then what?
Mom’s familiar “come hither” head
bob turns me to concrete. Flee?
Screw that. I have nowhere to go
but home. “Sorry. I love you.”
I love you, too,
he says, all mopey
and cute. I kiss him goodbye like
they do in the movies. Dirty movies.
Dylan
Are the best I’m gonna do
tonight. Again. I never thought
whacking off would get old, but
after you’ve had the real deal,
all warm and creamy,
calloused
skin, too cool with lotion,
can’t measure up. And once
you’ve experienced the low
growl of building passion,
dubbed
moans and groans get annoying
really fast. And after you’ve
tasted authentic nipples, all sweet
with strawberry shower gel,
fake
boobs, no matter how giant
and airbrushed, kind of seem
like letdowns. No, once you’ve
made love with your amazing
girlfriend, getting off solo is
bullshit.
Shane
For the first time is probably scary
for everyone. I’m totally terrified.
It’s been two days since I told
Alex that I think I’m ready.
He insisted I wait, to be sure.
Tonight is the Fourth of July.
Independence Day might seem
like a strange occasion to celebrate
my growing dependence on
Alex. Sex will bind us even tighter.
That isn’t what frightens me.
Neither does leaping so far into
adulthood. No, what scares
me is actually doing it. The act.
I’ve seen it done plenty in movies.
But they always get straight down
to business. It never looks
what you might call romantic.
I want Alex and me to be all about
romance. So okay, we start with
a sweet, long kiss. Let the sweet
melt like brown sugar from heating
desire. But once the ol’ heart starts
the kettle drum beating, then what?
Do I rip off my clothes? Rip off
Alex’s clothes? Do I let him do
the ripping, or expect they’ll find
a way to fall off on their own?
I guess I’m overthinking things,
but the little details worry the hell
out of me. And then, there are
the big ones—the ones they show
in the movies that don’t look very