Time After Time (19 page)

Not daring to finish the thought, she quietly backed out of the bedroom and headed for the third door, which led to another child’s bedroom. Pink walls, pastel-coloured tutus and a princess costume greeted her. The floor was strewn with dolls and books. Hayley stood in the room that looked so much like Millie’s, her hands clammy and shaking.

The last door on the landing led to a colourful family bathroom. She smiled when she saw the electric toothbrushes: a blue and a pink dinosaur. She’d bought the same ones for Millie and Danny two weeks earlier and they had immediately rushed to the bathroom to use them.

Hayley headed back downstairs to look at the rest of the house. The kitchen looked as if it had recently been renovated. The small garden, just as well maintained as the one at the front, had a swing and a tall pine tree. She imagined it lit up with Christmas lights and smiled.

The kitchen flowed into a dining area and to the left of a table was a tall, glass-door cabinet that contained pretty crystal glasses and her Union Jack teapot with the amateur repair job.

From the dining area she continued through an archway into the living room. She spotted some framed photographs on the shelves and eagerly snatched one up, holding her breath. There it was. the family she had with Sean, all of them staring back at her with wide grins. Her legs turned to pudding and she let herself sink onto the sofa.

Sean looked more handsome than she remembered. Soft laughter lines, kind eyes and a smile that still made her quiver. A girl of about five sat in front of him, and next to her, a boy a few years older. Their grins, warm and happy, made Hayley smile and she softly traced a finger over their faces before touching Sean’s too, letting her fingertip linger.

She looked at herself in the picture. Sean had his arm around her and her head rested casually on his shoulder, their body language radiating love and intimacy. Hayley felt a surge of sadness rising up inside her and she put the photograph back.

It’s just a glimpse. Remember. It’s not real.

She swallowed.

Could it be, if I wanted it to …? If I asked to stay here … could I?

She could refuse to work for Borrello and leave Klingel’s. Phone Isamu and find another job. Maybe even ask Tony if he’d consider for them to go it alone.

Across the hall Hayley discovered a small room that looked like an office. It had a desk and a couple of shelves with all of her legal books in it, so she assumed she used the room most of the time. A smile formed on her lips as she caught sight of the porcelain figurine of Lara Croft.

She opened a cabinet in the office and found some photo albums. With wobbly hands she opened one. Written under the picture of them on the first page was Our Wedding, December 31, 2001.

She turned the pages one by one, taking her time, staring at the photographs. Her long white wedding dress flowed behind her, and her hair curled softly in a loose bun that was fastened with bobby pins. Sean wore a black suit with a stylish red waistcoat and he grinned proudly at his new wife.

Hayley gazed at the pictures. She had always felt that Chris, Ian and Matthew hadn’t been right for her. While she’d sometimes wondered what things would have been like had she stayed with them, she’d never actually regretted the demise of those relationships. It was different with Sean. A small part of her had always wondered, fantasized, even more so since things with Rick were so strained. She’d asked to see – and now she was doing exactly that, she couldn’t stop herself from wishing it were real.

‘But it
isn’t
for real, it
isn’t.
’ The firmness in her voice startled her.
She closed her eyes. Tomorrow she’d wake up to Rick, Millie and Danny. She tried to smile but the fuzzy feeling she commanded into her heart slowly dissipated before drifting out of reach.

Is that what this is all about? Showing me what I threw away?

In the morning she’d be back in her real life, which had once been so good but was now filled with complications and petty arguments.

What if this life is better? Can I stay here with Sean?

‘No!’ She shook her head. ‘Rick is The One. He always was.’

But the nagging thoughts wouldn’t give up that easily.

And what if he isn’t? What if it was Sean all along? What then?

She swallowed.

Then I want to stay here forever.

‘What do you mean you’re going to Chicago for a year or two?’ Ellen said, her voice becoming more high-pitched with every syllable. ‘Why … what … when?’ She held her hands out and closed her eyes, looking like a conductor calming her nerves before the beginning of a concert. She exhaled noisily, opened her eyes and said, ‘Okay, I’m ready.’

Hayley had rushed over to see Ellen straight after work. Mark hadn’t got home yet and Ellen was busy making a skirt. She’d taken up sewing as her latest hobby and it seemed to Hayley she put together a more outrageous outfit every week. Last time she’d visited, Mark moaned that Ellen used him as a human mannequin and he had the pinpricks in his arse to prove it.

Hayley sat down at the dining table but couldn’t stop her legs jiggling around like the pistons of an engine. ‘Ronald wants me to help with the new branch office.’ She gulped. ‘I can’t believe it. I thought they’d have asked someone older but he said they want me.’ She tapped her chest. ‘
Me!
’

‘Congratulations, matey, that’s incredible,’ Ellen said and her face lit up like a pinball machine.

‘Thanks. Isn’t it though? He said they want to keep things interesting for me at the firm. Pah! As if I’d ever leave.’ She stopped for a second, barely catching her breath. ‘I’ve always,
always
wanted to work abroad.’

‘When do you leave? It’s not soon, is it?’

Hayley swallowed. ‘After they sort out my visa I can go. Probably in July.’

‘
July
? That’s not even three months. Oww, these bloody pins.’ Ellen threw the skirt on the dining table. ‘Enough. I can’t concentrate.’

‘Tell me about it. I didn’t do any work all day,’ Hayley said. ‘And there’s more.’

‘
More
?’ Ellen’s eyebrows almost reached her hairline. ‘Don’t tell me you met someone.’

Hayley waved her hands around. ‘Don’t be daft. That would be crap timing, wouldn’t it? No, it’s better. Ronald hinted I might be on the way to becoming a partner. He said it’ll take time but that I’m on the right track.’

‘Wow, what a day you’ve had. That’s amazing.’ Then Ellen’s face crumpled. ‘But I can’t believe you’re leaving me.
Again
.’ She shook her head and let out a wail. ‘Only this time I don’t have one of your boyfriends to blame. I’m going to miss you so much.’

Hayley put her arms around her. ‘I’ll miss you too. But it’s such a fantastic job, I couldn’t turn it down.’

‘I know, I know,’ Ellen said as she folded up the skirt and put it back in the cardboard box marked ‘Ellen’s Eccentricities’. ‘I’m happy for you. Really. Honest.’ She grimaced. ‘So what do you think it’s going to be like?’

‘Well, I bought a book about Chicago on the way home.’ Hayley grinned when she saw Ellen’s face. ‘Don’t look at me like that! I like being prepared.’

‘Uh-huh, Brown Owl would be very impressed and –’

‘
Anyway
,’ Hayley said, ‘did you know the Sears Tower is in Chicago?’

Ellen sat back in her chair and crossed her arms, a bemused smile playing on her lips, which Hayley chose to ignore.

‘Its real name is Willis Tower,’ Hayley said, ‘and it’s in the dodgy area called The Loop. Not the best place to hang around at night, apparently. But there’s a huge aquarium and loads of parks and a massive zoo and of course the lake’s six times wider than English Channel, well, from Dover to Calais anyway. And did you know Hillary Clinton was born in Chicago? I didn’t. I wonder if …’ She stopped and looked at Ellen again, whose amusement had transformed into a grin that took over her entire face. ‘Bollocks.’ Hayley cocked her head to one side. ‘I’m babbling, aren’t I?’

Ellen laughed. ‘Yep. You sound like a crazy tour guide on speed.’

Hayley grinned back at her and plopped herself down on the sofa, exhaling loudly as she put her feet on the coffee table, gently sliding the stack of magazines
and a pile of freshly washed, unfolded clothes out of the way with her toes.

Ellen sat down and patted Hayley’s knee. ‘I’m so pleased for you. Honest, I am. But I’ve no idea how I’ll survive without my best mate.’ She paused and looked at Hayley. ‘I haven’t seen you this happy for ages. It’s like you’ve got your mojo back.’

Hayley snapped her fingers. ‘That’s exactly how I feel.’ She put on her best Arnold Schwarzenegger accent, ‘It’s not “I’ll be back”. It’s “I
am
back”.’

Ellen laughed again. ‘Promise you’ll let me come and stay?’

‘Absolutely! Whenever you want.’ She wondered if Ellen meant it because they saved every penny for potential treatment and a future baby. ‘We can explore together. It’ll be fun. Ronald said they’ll fly me home twice a year, so at the very least we’ll see each other every six months.’

‘Six months?’ Ellen howled, then buried her face in a pillow.

When Mark arrived, Hayley repeated the news.

‘Fantastic,’ he said, giving her a squeeze. ‘Lucky you. Hey, remember Fiona?’

‘The drummer in your old band, what were you called again?’ Hayley winked at Ellen. ‘The Mushy Bananas?’

Mark put his head back and laughed. ‘Sod off,’ he said. ‘The Bruised Bananas were bloody brilliant. That’s why we’re rolling in it and I sell insurance for fun. Not. Anyway. Fiona met a guy and moved to Chicago last year.’

‘Really?’ Hayley leaned forward. ‘Does she like it there?’

‘Loves it,’ Mark said. ‘She sent me an email about her new band a few weeks ago. I’ll put you in touch. Maybe she can show you around? You never know,’ he waggled a finger at her, ‘you might come back with a Yank in your suitcase.’

‘Hardly,’ Hayley said quickly, shaking her head.

‘Spoil sport,’ Ellen said.

‘What’s the point?’ Hayley said. ‘I’ll only be there for a bit. Nope. It’s the perfect excuse to party and have casual dates.’ She stretched out her arms gave a deliberate sigh. ‘No more pressure from
anyone
to find my soul mate.’ She deliberately eyed Ellen, who stuck out her tongue.

‘Well, Party-Pants,’ Mark said, ‘we’re going to Mulligan’s tomorrow. What do you reckon?’

‘Sure,’ Hayley agreed and rubbed her hands together. ‘I haven’t had a good night out in ages. By the way, don’t mention anything about Chicago, it’s not official yet. I’m only telling you two, Mum and Dad, and Jackie.’

‘Our lips are sealed,’ Mark said.

Ellen closed an imaginary zip across her lips and tossed invisible keys to Hayley.

*

Everybody loved Mulligan’s, the classic Irish pub on two floors. It had a pool hall on the upper level and a pub, where noise levels made conversation tricky and open to interpretation, on the ground floor. The bar, which had been built to look like a giant barrel, stood in the middle of the room, with chunky wooden tables and chairs clustered around it. The reclaimed timber floor, scuffed by years of good nights out, was peppered with hundreds of Guinness spills and the occasional vomit stain. But Hayley loved Mulligan’s. The barmen were good looking and the crowd were always friendly. Ellen and Mark were already at the pub when she arrived and they handed her a bottle of Harp.

‘Sláinte,’ Hayley said as she took a sip and relaxed.

A handful of Mark’s friends joined them during the next hour, some with their wives or girlfriends and some on their own.

‘Can I buy you a drink?’ a tall guy with a cheeky grin and floppy blonde hair asked Hayley.

She smiled. ‘No, but thanks for asking.’ A drink didn’t automatically lead somewhere, but she didn’t need or want the extra complication.

A couple of hours into the evening the group headed upstairs to the pool hall. Hayley and Ellen were watching Mark expertly thrash Pretty Pete, who’d earned the nickname because he was the spitting image of Brad Pitt, when a guy came into the room and headed towards Mark.

‘Hey Sean.’ Hayley watched as Mark greeted him with a friendly clap on the shoulder. ‘Good to see you. Glad you could make it.’

‘It was easy to find,’ Sean said with a smile and a strong Irish lilt that Hayley couldn’t quite place but which made her stomach want to do a round of somersaults. ‘We’re like homing pigeons. Drop us anywhere and we’ll find the pub.’

‘I’ll introduce you,’ Mark said.

Hayley’s mouth went dry. She resented the fact that she wished she’d made more of an effort and had chosen something better than a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt.

Why do you care what you’re wearing? And what’s it to him?

Mark did the rounds, introducing Sean to the rest of the group before ending up in front of Ellen and Hayley.

‘And now for the
pièce de résistance
. This is Ellen, my better half,’ he said. ‘Ellen, this is Sean, the guy I met at the squash club the other week.’

‘Hi, Sean,’ said Ellen. ‘So you’re new to London?’

Sean nodded. ‘Came over from Northern Ireland last month.’

‘This is Hayley, Ellen’s best friend,’ Mark continued, and Hayley hoped they wouldn’t notice her burning cheeks. ‘Rumour has it these two were separated at birth so don’t tell Ellen anything you don’t want Hayley to know. Or vice-versa. Trust me.’

‘I’ll bear that in mind.’ Sean laughed.

‘Pleased to meet you,’ Hayley said and held out her hand.

Gah! What am I doing? It’s not a bloody interview.

His eyes twinkled as he shook her hand. Hayley held her breath. Was it her imagination or did he hold on to her fingers for a second longer than he needed to?

‘So what brought you to London?’ Ellen asked.

Hayley chastised herself for hoping he wasn’t going to say ‘wife’ or ‘girlfriend’. She furtively glanced at his left hand.

No ring. Great … Oh sod off. Stop it!

‘A great job came up,’ he said, taking a sip of his beer. ‘I’m a paramedic and they were looking for people over here.’

‘Better crashes, eh?’ Hayley said. ‘More blood and guts. Ha, ha.’

Ellen gave Hayley an odd look. ‘Okay …’ she turned to Sean. ‘So where did you live in Northern Ireland?’

He smiled and small, irresistible dimples formed in both cheeks. ‘Grew up in Carrick near Belfast. Lived there all my life, so I was ready to see something different. It’s a great change.’

‘Do you think you’ll stay?’ Ellen asked and Hayley crossed her fingers.

‘I think so,’ Sean said as his eyes met Hayley’s. ‘So far so good, anyway.’

Hayley glanced at him. He had large, hazel-green eyes and a three-day beard. His hair was short and light brown and he had a small birthmark shaped like a banana on the side of his neck. Hayley guessed they were about the same age and he stood a bit taller than her. She liked his casual jeans, white shirt and dark suede jacket. She liked everything about him.

‘Do you guys fancy another drink? The next round’s on me,’ he said. ‘Mark reckons it’s the Newbie Rule.’

‘It is. Scout’s honour,’ Mark said, holding up his fingers in a salute.

‘Shite, I know he’s pulling a fast one but if I refuse I’ll be Norman-No-Mates again,’ he stage whispered and Hayley gave in and laughed. ‘Do you mind giving me a hand getting the drinks in, Hayley?’

She followed him downstairs. As the barman pulled the pints, Sean turned to her and said, ‘So what do you do for fun then?’

‘Believe it or not, I lead a boring life,’ she said, pulling a face.

Sean raised his eyebrows. ‘I find that hard to believe.’

‘Honest,’ Hayley said. ‘I’m a solicitor.’

He pretended to stifle a yawn so she put her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. ‘Don’t yawn, cheeky.’

‘That’s not an appropriate way to talk to the man buying you a beer.’ He waggled a finger. ‘Or the paramedic who’ll look after you when you’ve had too many.’

They carried on talking after they were back upstairs.

‘Do you play?’ Sean asked Hayley as he indicated towards the pool table.

‘Only very badly.’

‘Come on,’ he said and grabbed her hand, which made her skin tingle with delight. ‘I’ll show you some trick shots.’

Hayley had always thought there was something sexy about a man teaching a woman how to play pool, bending over the table, heads next to each other, bodies touching in a seemingly innocent way, and it was no exception with Sean. Whenever their arms brushed or their hands touched it was all Hayley could do to stop herself from throwing him onto the pool table, then jumping on top of him like a rabid animal.

When Sean went to the bathroom Ellen sauntered over with a sly grin on her face.

‘He’s nice isn’t he?’ she said, tilting her head to one side.

‘Who?’ Hayley put on her best angel-like expression.

Ellen shook her head. ‘You know exactly who I’m talking about.’

Hayley’s attempt at being aloof started to wither. ‘Oh, you mean Sean? Do you think?’ She shrugged. ‘I hadn’t really noticed.’

Ellen raised an eyebrow slowly. ‘Oh well, in that case you won’t mind him coming to our party next Saturday, will you?’