Tipping the Velvet (46 page)

now almost numb. There was a little girl nearby, carrying a But I had come so far; and there was nowhere to turn back great tray about her neck, filled with bundles of to. So I crept to the rosy window, and then to the door; and watercresses. I went up to her, and asked how far it was to then I knocked, and waited. I seemed to have presented Quilter Street; and then, because she looked so sad and cold myself at a thousand thresholds that day, and been cruelly and damp - and also because I had a confused idea that I disappointed or repulsed, at all of them. If there was no must not turn up on Florence's doorstep entirely empty-word of kindness for me here, I thought, I would die.

handed -I bought the biggest of her cress bouquets. It cost a At last there came a murmur and a step, and the door was ha'penny.

opened; and it was Florence herself who stood there –

With this cradled awkwardly in the crook of my stiff arm I looking remarkably as she had when I had seen her first, began the short walk to the street I wanted; soon I found peering into the darkness, framed against the light and with myself at the end of a wide terrace of low, flat houses - not the same glorious halo of burning hair. I gave a sigh that a squalid terrace, by any means, but not a very smart one was also a shudder - then I saw a movement at her hip, and 391

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saw what she carried there. It was a baby. I looked from the

'But who might she be?' I heard the man say.

baby to the room behind, and here there was another figure:

'I don't know.' This was Florence. There was a creak, a man, seated in his shirt-sleeves before a blazing fire, his followed by a silence, in which I felt her squinting at my eyes raised from the paper at his knee to gaze at me in mild features. 'And yet,' she went on, 'there is something a little enquiry.

bit familiar about her face ..."

I looked from him back to Florence.

'Look at her cheek,' said the man in a lower voice. 'Look at

'Yes?' she said. I saw that she didn't remember me at all.

her poor dress and bonnet. Look at her hair! Do you think She didn't remember me and - worse - she had a husband, she might've been in prison? Could she be one of your gals, and a child.

just come from a reformat'ry?' There was another pause; I did not think that I could bear it. My head whirled, I perhaps Florence shrugged. 'I do think she must've been in closed my eyes - and sank upon her doorstep in a swoon.

prison, though,' the man went on, 'judging by the state of her poor hair ..." I felt slightly indignant at that; and
Chapter 16

indignation made me twitch. 'Look out!' said the man then.

When next I knew myself I was lying flat upon a rug with

'She is waking up.'

my feet apparently raised on a little cushion; there was the I opened my eyes again to see him stooping over me. He warmth and the crackling of a fire at my side, and the low was a very gentle-featured man, with short-cut hair of a murmur of voices somewhere near. I opened my eyes: the reddish-golden hue, and a full set of whiskers that made room turned horribly and the rug seemed to dip, so I closed him look a little like the sailor on the Players' packets. The them again at once, and kept them tight shut until the floor, thought made me long all at once for a cigarette, and I gave like a spinning coin, seemed slowly to cease its lurching a dry little cough. The man squatted, and patted my and grow still.

shoulder. 'Ho there, miss,' he said. 'Are you well, dear? Are After that it was rather wonderful simply to lie in the glow you well at last? You are quite, you know, amongst friends.'

of the fire, feeling the life creep back into my numbed and His voice and manner were so very kind that - still weak aching limbs; I forced myself, however, to consider my and slightly bewildered from my swoon -I felt the tears peculiar situation, and pay a little thoughtful heed to my rising to my eyes, and raised a hand to my brow to press surroundings. I was, I realised, in Florence's parlour: she them back. When I took the hand away, there seemed blood and her husband must have lifted me over their threshold upon it; I gave a cry, thinking I had set my nose off and made me comfortable before their hearth. It was their bleeding once again. But it was not blood. It was only that murmurs that I could hear: they stood a little way behind the rain had soaked into my cheap hat, and the dye had run me -they had evidently not caught the flash of my opening all down my brows in great wet streaks of crimson.

eyes -and discussed me, in rather wondering tones.

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What a guy Diana had made of me! The thought made me our heads and gazed at them. They had been placed on a weep at last in earnest, in terrible, shaming gulps. At that, table near the door and looked very sad, for I had fallen the man produced a handkerchief, and patted me once again upon them when I swooned. The leaves were crushed and upon the arm. 'I expect,' he said, 'that you would like a cup blackened, the stems broken, the paper damp and green.

of something hot?' I nodded, and he rose and moved away.

Florence said, 'That was kind of you.' I smiled a little In his place came Florence. She must have put her baby nervously. For a second there was a silence - then the baby down somewhere, for now she had her arms folded stiffly gave a kick and a yell, and she bent to pick it up and hold it across her chest.

against her breast, saying as she did so: 'Shall Mama take She asked me: 'Are you feeling better?' Her voice was not you? There, now.' Then the man reappeared, bearing a cup quite as kind as the man's had been, and her gaze seemed of tea and a plate of bread and butter which he set, with a rather sterner. I nodded to her, then with her help raised smile, on the arm of my chair. Florence placed her chin myself from the floor into an armchair near the fire. The upon the baby's head. 'Ralph,' she said, 'this lady is a friend baby, I saw, was lying on its back on another, clasping and of Miss Derby's - do you remember, Miss Derby that I used unclasping its little hands. From a room next door - the to work for?'

kitchen, I guessed - came the chink of crockery and a

'Good heavens,' said the man - Ralph. He was still in his tuneless whistle. I blew my nose, and wiped my head; then shirt-sleeves; now he picked up his jacket from the back of wept some more; then grew a little calmer.

a chair and put it on. I busied myself with my cup and plate.

I looked again at Florence and said, 'I am sorry, to have The tea was very hot and sweet: the best tea, I thought, that turned up here in such a state.' She said nothing. 'You will I had ever tasted. The baby gave another cry, and Florence be wondering, I suppose, who I am ..." She gave a faint began to sway and jiggle, and to smooth the child's head, smile. 'We have been a little, yes.'

distractedly, with her cheek. Soon the cry became a gurgle,

'I'm,' I began - then stopped, and coughed, to mask my and then a sigh; and hearing it, I sighed too - but turned it hesitation. What could I say to her? I'm the girl who flirted into a breath for cooling my tea with, in case they thought I with you once eighteen months ago? I'm the girl who asked was about to start up weeping again.

you to supper, then left you standing, without a word, on There was another silence; then, 'I'm afraid I've forgotten Judd Street? 'I'm a friend of Miss Derby's,' I said at last.

your name,' said Florence. To Ralph she explained: 'It Florence blinked. 'Miss Derby?' she said. 'Miss Derby, from seems we met once.'

the Ponsonby Trust?'

I cleared my throat. 'Miss Astley,' I said. 'Miss Nancy I nodded. 'Yes. I - I met you once, a long time ago. I was Astley.' Florence nodded; Ralph held out his hand for mine, passing through Bethnal Green, on a visit, and thought I and shook it warmly.

might call. I brought you some watercresses ..." We turned 395

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'I'm very glad to meet you, Miss Astley,' he said. Then he discussed this for a moment, then admired the baby for a gestured to my cheek. 'That's a smart eye you have.'

little longer; then grew silent again.

I said, 'It is, rather, ain't it?'

'So,' said Ralph doggedly, 'you are a friend of Miss He looked kind. 'Perhaps it was the blow, as made you Derby's?' I looked quickly at Florence. She had faint. You gave us quite a scare.'

recommenced her jiggling, but was still rather thoughtful. I Tm sorry. I think you're right, it must have been the blow. I said, 'That's right.' 'And how is Miss Derby?' said Ralph

- I was struck by a man with a ladder, in the street.'

then. 'Oh, well, you know Miss Derby!' 'Just the same, then,

'A ladder!'

is she?' 'Exactly the same,' I said. 'Exactly.' 'Still with the

'Yes, he - he turned too sharp, not seeing me and -'

Ponsonby, then?'

'Well!' said Ralph. 'Now, you'd never believe such a thing

'Still with the Ponsonby. Still doing her good works. Still, could happen, would you, outside of a comedy in the you know, playing her mandolin.' I raised my hands, and theatre!'

gave a few half-hearted imaginary strums; but as I did so I gave him a wan sort of smile, then lowered my eyes and Florence ceased her swaying, and I felt her glance grow started on the bread and butter. Florence was studying me, I hard. I looked hurriedly back to Ralph. He had smiled at my thought, rather carefully.

words.

Then the baby sneezed and, as Florence took a

'Miss Derby's mandolin,' he said, as if the memory amused handkerchief to its nose, I said half-heartedly: 'What a him. 'How many homeless families must she not've cheered handsome child!' At once, his parents turned their eyes with it!' He winked. 'I had forgotten all about it. . .'

upon him and gave identical, foolish smiles of pleasure and

'So had I.' This was Florence, and she did not sound at all concern. Florence lifted him a little way away from her, the ironical. I chewed very hard and fast on a piece of crust.

lamplight fell upon him; and I saw with surprise that he Ralph smiled again, then said, very kindly: 'And where was really was a pretty boy - not at all like his mother, but with it you met Flo?'

fine features and very dark hair and a tiny, jutting pink lip.

I swallowed. 'Well -' I began.

Ralph leaned to stroke his son's jerking head. 'He is a

'I believe,' said Florence herself, 'I believe it was in Green beauty,' he said; 'but he is dozier, tonight, than he should Street, wasn't it, Miss Astley? In Green Street, just off the be. We leave him in the daytime with a gal across the street, Gray's Inn Road?' I put down my plate, and raised my eyes and we are sure that she puts laud'num in his milk, to stop to hers. I knew one second's pleasure, to find that she had his cries. Not,' he added quickly, 'as I am blaming her. She not after all quite forgotten the girl who had studied her, so must take in that many kids, to bring the money in, the saucily, on that warm June night so long ago; then I saw noise when they all start up is deafening. Still, I wish she how hard her expression was, and I trembled.

wouldn't. I hardly think it can be very healthful..." We 397

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'Oh dear,' I said, closing my eyes and putting a hand to my

'You are certainly very changed,' she said after a moment, brow. 'I think I am not quite well after all.' I felt Ralph take

'since I saw you last.' I looked down at my crumpled frock, a step towards me, then grow still: Florence must have my terrible boots. Then I looked at her. She, I now saw, stopped him with some significant look.

was also changed. She seemed older and thinner, and the

'I think Cyril might go up, now, Ralph,' she said quietly.

thinness didn't suit her. Her hair, which I remembered as so There was the sound of the baby being passed over, then of curly, she had pulled back into a tight little knot at the back a door opening and shutting, and finally of boots upon a of her head, and the dress she was wearing was plain and staircase, and the creaking of floorboards in the room above very dark. All in all, she looked as sober as Mrs Hooper, our heads. Then there was silence; Florence lowered herself back at Felicity Place.

into the other armchair, and sighed.

I took a breath to steady my voice. 'What can I do?' I said

'Would it really make you very ill, Miss Astley,' she said in simply. 'I've nowhere to go. I've no money, no home . . .'

a tired voice, 'to tell me just why it is you're here?' I looked

'I am sorry for you, Miss Astley,' she answered awkwardly.

at her, but couldn't speak. 'I can't believe Miss Derby really

'But Bethnal Green is busting with badly-off girls. If I was recommended you to come.'

to let them all come and stay, I should have to live in a

'No,' I said. 'I only saw Miss Derby that once, in Green castle! Besides, I -I don't know you, or anything about you.'

Street.'

'Please,' I said. 'Just for one night. If you only knew how

'Then who was it told you where I live?'

many doors I have been turned away from. I really think

'Another lady at the Ponsonby office,' I said. 'At least, she that, if you send me out into the street, I shall keep walking didn't tell me, but she had your address on her desk and I -

until I reach a river or a canal; and then I shall drown saw it.'

myself.'

'You saw it.'

She frowned, then put a finger to her lips and bit at a nail;

'Yes.'

all her nails, I now noticed, were very short and chewed.

'And thought you would visit..."

'What kind of trouble are you in, exactly?' she said at last.

I bit my lip. 'I'm in a spot of trouble,' I said. 'I remembered

'Mr Banner thought you might have come from - well, from you -' Remembered you, I almost added, as rather kinder gaol.'

than you are proving yourself to be. 'The lady at the office I shook my head, and then said wearily: 'The truth is, I've said you work at a home for friendless girls ..."

been living with someone; and they have thrown me out.

'And so I do! But this ain't it. This is my home.'

They have kept my things - oh! I had such handsome