Tivi's Dagger (19 page)

“
Ah, Ned.” He let out a sorrowful
sigh. “Do not apologize. If I’m honest, this pilgrimage has been
more for my benefit than yours. Do not think you’re the only reason
we’re here. I owe you so many apologies. It was wrong of me to take
out all my anger on you before, and I’m sorry for it.”

I smiled wryly. “Do not pretend you didn’t
enjoy whipping me, Brin.”

His stared at his knees for a moment, then
his lips twitched. “Well, perhaps I did. I don’t think there’s a
living soul in this world who can infuriate me as you do. You’ve
been a thorn in my side most of my life, but when all’s said and
done you are still my little brother. It has ever been my duty —
and my privilege — to protect you.”

I sat down beside him, wriggling to get
comfortable on the jutting edges of the rock.

He went on, seemingly glad to unburden
himself at last. “When I became a Protector, our mandate was simply
to guide. We kept order in the streets and the worship of the Evil
One in check. There’s a reason the Gods keep him in a cage, alive
yet contained — for he lives in all of us. Like all of the
Thirteen, the Evil One must be appeased through worship and ritual,
lest he break the cage and consume the world with his fury for
balance must be maintained. That was ever my belief, and Sal’s too.
But Pol has taken it too far. He believes that our mandate should
be to rid Lis of the Evil One’s influence entirely and to wipe out
those who burn the black candles. To prevent, not to protect.
Initially I had no mind to contest his bid for leadership, as I’d
already failed twice long before, but I was persuaded by Pol’s
lackeys — men I thought I could trust — to put forward my
opposition at the last minute. And then Pol was victorious, his
mandate became Divine Law, and the rest…the rest was as you already
know.”

“
Why did he have Sal
executed?”

Brin shook his head sadly. “A Protector must
always have a partner, Ned. Not just for companionship and
guidance, but control. I tried for many years not to love Sal, but
you knew him; such a thing was impossible. A man may gladly give up
his own life for a cause yet balk at giving up the life of another.
Pol took Sal’s head to punish me for opposing him. He has played me
like his favorite lyre, and now there are none who will stand
against him, for fear he’ll do to them what he did to me.”

There was a silence as I digested his words.
“I don’t know what to say. It’s a terrible tale you tell, and I’m
sorry you had to endure such a thing. Sal was a good man, and loved
by everyone.” I paused for a second and then flashed a small smile.
“I promise I’ll try not to trouble you further on these travels. I
can’t say what’ll happen when we return home, however.”

“
By then you’ll be married, and the
only whip you’ll feel will be the tongue of your wife. You’ll no
longer be my responsibility, and I think we’ll both welcome that
state of affairs.” He patted me on the back and stood up, brushing
the dirt from the seat of his trousers. I got up and faced him for
a moment and suddenly we were wrapped together in the tightest of
hugs. I smiled into his shoulder and felt a great weight lift from
my heart.

“
I love you, brother,” I whispered.
“Always.”

When he released me, he looked into my eyes
and brushed the hair from my forehead. “You may not love me much
when this pilgrimage is over, Ned. I’ve done a terrible thing, and
I will pay the price for it soon enough. But the others are growing
impatient, I’m sure. We are but a few days away from our
destination and I’m sure you’re keen to see the dragon if it’s
still there. Let’s press on, if you’re able.”

Whatever had entered my mind had long gone,
leaving me only with the memory of light and the fae taint on my
skin. “I feel fairly able,” I said, trying to reassure him with a
cheery smile.

“
Well, none of us seem any less sane
than we did before,” Lana greeted us with a too-bright grin. “I
wonder what manner of fae thing lives in there, for I heard their
chatter as surely as if they were whispering in my very
ears.”

“
Those who see them rarely live to
tell the tale,” Kari said. “It’s said that many an invading army
met a terrible end inside the caverns of Khar Tam while the city
still lived. Yet nothing lasts forever, and even the fae did not
stop the Night Walkers in the end. Come, let’s continue. Our
pilgrimage is almost at an end, for Thar Mati is not far from us
now.”

Chapter 7

As much as the dark-rocked mountains had
appeared to huddle secretively around the ruins of Khar Tam, the
peaks on the other side were like a welcoming party, more like
hills than mountains and lush with green. The sight of the forest
was very welcome to my eyes and I breathed the cool, fresh air with
a moment’s delight. The path led downwards, I was pleased to note,
into a lush valley shaped like a giant leaf and dotted with clumps
of trees. In the distance, smoke curled into the sky and the clouds
were white and thin above us.

We walked for a half-hour before my brother
halted the donkey at a clump of grass and flopped down wearily on
the verge. Even after the time we’d spent at the Pilgrim’s Rest,
his ankle was still bothering him and he tethered the donkey while
Lana strapped the injury up once more with a long strip of
leather.

Kari brushed the back of his hand gently
against my thigh and then curled his little finger around mine with
a smile. “We will be together tonight,” he whispered into my ear,
and the brief press of his lips against my flesh was enough to send
tingles of anticipation to my prick. He seemed inordinately happy,
having discovered some rare mushrooms near the path as we waited,
and he patted his satchel with a happy smile. I wondered what he
had in store for us in the cookpot and reflected upon the
near-constant grumbling of my stomach for a moment, and also the
fact that my beautifully-tailored leathers were starting to loosen
upon my hips.

I was pleased to find out that the next
settlement marked upon the map was nothing more than an abandoned
farmhouse surrounded by scorched fruit trees and scrawny hens
pecking and scratching in the dirt. Evidently there had been a fire
— quite recently too — but the house appeared beyond repair.
Perhaps the inhabitants planned to return, as the site was not
quite stripped of all the trappings of farm life — some tools lay
scattered about the well and there were many tracks of boots and
hooves baked into the hard mud.

There was ample shelter under the trees and
what remained of the roof and it was still quite bright as Lana set
about setting stones and digging a hole for the fire. Kel began to
gather some sticks with longing looks at his bundle of books. I
watched Kari spread out his blanket and begin to slice up some of
the smoky, fleshy mushrooms and roots I had come to enjoy. He
glanced up at me with a faint smile and I remembered his whispered
words.

We will be together tonight.

How was it possible to be so excited by such
a hushed promise? My body was more than ready for it, especially
after my trauma in the caverns. I wanted to feel human again and
the desire that hummed in my blood was certainly helping. I busied
myself with preparations for a long overdue shave and crouched by
my pack to retrieve the necessary items. While I was not looking
directly at Kari, I was almost supernaturally aware of his presence
so close to me, and it made me restless.

Soon the fire was crackling away and Kari
was humming to himself as he stirred the cookpot over the flames.
Lana’s cheek was bulging with a fresh bundle of chewing tobacco and
she lay back on her elbows with a look of bliss on her face. Kel
had begun to read from a scroll, but I knew the Book of Matativi
would be nestling inside. He had loosened his braids so his hair
hung in a tangled black sheet over the parchment. Brin was lying on
his side with his head resting upon his precious box and a blanket
pulled over his legs. My brother’s face was gaunter than ever,
which made the darkness of his unruly beard stand out all the more.
It was the first time I had ever seen him so unkempt.

What was this terrible thing he had done? I
could not imagine what it could be. Once more I tried to guess my
brother’s mind, but it was no clearer to me than a pool full of mud
and leaves, so I gave up with a heavy sigh. I scraped the last of
the stubble from my throat and rubbed the area, glad to be clean
again. Studying my reflection in Lana’s blade, I was particularly
pleased to note that my cheekbones had grown more pronounced and
the whites of my eyes had lost the bloodshot look they often had,
brought about by too much wine and fun and not enough sleep. I ran
my damp fingers through my hair to lift it off my face and turn the
kink in it to favor the shape of my head. Even my skin was clear
and glowing with health. The combination of simple fare, fresh
mountain air and exercise appeared to be having an extremely
positive effect on my appearance and I could not help gazing
admiringly at myself for a little longer before rinsing the blade
of the remnants of my beard.

“
Shave, brother?” I said mildly,
indicating the bowl and dagger, but Brin just grunted and closed
his eyes even though it was clear he had no intention of
sleeping.

I closed my eyes and inhaled the unfamiliar
yet sweet smell of the grasses and trees around us, the spicy aroma
from Kari’s cookpot and the faint stink of rotting animal fodder,
straw and chickens. Somewhere nearby was the sound of a gushing
river. Above us, the mists swirled and danced around the peaks. It
was a beautiful land which I was quickly coming to love, and I
wished we had more time. Kari had already informed us that we
should be gazing upon Thar Mati within the day, and Brin was
talking about rising with the dawn.

Why was my brother in such a hurry?
There was no need for us to be rushing along in such a fashion.
After all, didn’t the Protectors’ Bible itself teach us that the
journey itself was the whole point of any pilgrimage? Perhaps not.
My memory of the sacred text I’d been forced to read at school had
dimmed with the passage of time. The Protectors’ Bible had,
however, served Lana and I very well on the Pirates’ Isles when we
ran out of clean arse-wipe linens. What would Brin do to me if he
found out about
that
particular blasphemy? I chuckled to myself at the memory of
it, then returned to wondering what he kept in that box and why he
was so determined to forge ahead when it was obvious to all around
him that he needed rest.

Every step back toward Lis would bring me
closer to my bride, and I was keener than ever to tarry.

Once more putting my ghastly fate firmly at
the back of my mind, I settled my gaze on the much more pleasant
sight of my lover — my stomach fluttered a little as I formed the
word again in my mind — on his knees at the fire. His features were
bathed in the soft golden light of the leaping flames. He dipped
his spoon once more into the cookpot and blew on the steamy liquid,
then dribbled it onto the back of his hand where he proceeded to
lick at it with the tip of his tongue, his expression
contemplative.

I imagined that tongue on my cock with a
shiver.

Then he glanced up at me and smiled, and for
a moment he was all I could see. I could not prevent a daft grin
from spreading over my face. What would my friends say if they
could see me now? Nedim Melchion, unsnarable bachelor and renowned
lover and leaver, reduced to a puddle by the sight of a man licking
soup off his hand. As I contemplated the question I found for the
first time in my life that I didn’t give a shit what my friends
would say.

As night descended upon us we wrapped
ourselves in blankets and huddled around the fire, patting our full
bellies, empty bowls beside us. Kari’s ability to produce delicious
food from so little would never cease to amaze me. Even my brother
indulged in some praise, which surprised me no end.

“
I’m sure I speak for all of us when I
say that you’ve been a fine guide and cook so far,
Kari.”

Kari beamed. “Why, thank you Brindar. It’s
been my pleasure.” He looked over at Lana and Kel, who nodded and
winked in a manner I found most puzzling. “I was also able to mix a
draught for you, should you wish it.” He handed Brin a vial of a
dark green-tinted liquid. “It will not only ease the pain of your
injury but speed up your recovery, and ensure you get a good
night’s sleep.”

Brin opened the vial and sniffed at it
suspiciously. “What’s in it?”

“
Merely healing herbs and the pulp of
a rare mushroom I was most lucky to find earlier. If you don’t
trust me, I will happily take the first sip.”

“
I’m sure you could have poisoned me
at any time,” Brin said wryly, and gulped down the liquid with a
grimace.

“
It is an interesting choice of
weapon, this famous poison of the Methari,” Lana observed. “On an
arrow tip or a dart, it’s a devious method of killing from afar and
with ease. I like the idea, although my dwarven friends do not
approve. They’re of the mind that one should always look into the
eyes of one’s enemies before wielding a blade.”

“
You and your dwarven friends,” I
chuckled. “It’s said you keep the tobacco trade going
single-handedly.”

She threw a twig at me with a chuckle. “It
may be so. But the dwarves are an honorable people, and if I were
ever forced to embrace a religion I would lean toward their
philosophy, as it closely mirrors my own thoughts on many
things.”

Brin snorted. “Dwarven philosophy? Such a
concept is surely contradictory, for their texts sound to me like
nothing but a bunch of children’s rhymes. Dwarves do little more
than drink ale and enrich themselves and those we met did little to
convince me otherwise, despite their preaching.”