To Be a Family (Harlequin Superromance) (18 page)

He hoped she hadn’t changed her mind. He’d built up ideas about
how they would bond over simple things like walks along the sand and quiet
evenings by the wood-burning stove. He wanted to tell her about Tinman Island
and get her reaction to the possibility of a future away from Summerside. Tuti
was counting on her to come. He was, too. If for some reason, she didn’t, these
holidays would be awfully bleak.

* * *

I
T
WAS
JUST
SHY
of eight o’clock and the sky was fully dark by
the time Katie pulled into the cottage driveway. A light drizzle was falling as
she crunched over the broken shell and gravel to the front door.

She
wanted
to do this, she reminded
herself nervously. This was an opportunity. For years she’d been keeping John at
bay, not realizing till recently that deep down she’d hoped they might get back
together someday. And while she’d been helping Tuti learn to read, she’d learned
to fall in love again.

Her heart beating fast, she knocked. While she waited, she went
over everything she’d decided.

She would talk openly and honestly, listen to what he had to
say even when it was painful to hear.

She wouldn’t test him, not even on small things. She would give
him the benefit of the doubt. Give the man a chance to show her he could change.
Show him that she trusted him and that she could change.

But no matter what happened, she wouldn’t fall into his bed
right away. She would resist her desires long enough to talk things out. The
chemistry between them was good and when she and John were sexual she tended to
don rose-colored glasses when it came to their relationship. Sex wouldn’t make
the issues go away. In fact it could exacerbate them because they’d be ignoring
the problems and pretending everything was fine when it wasn’t.

If they could resolve the issues, then wonderful. If they
couldn’t, if the holiday was a disaster, so be it. The end. No more
possibilities for her and John. God, she hoped that wouldn’t be the outcome.

The slap of flip-flops on floorboards came closer. John flung
the door open.

“Sorry I’m so late. Riley and Paula are looking after Lulu, my
cat. I couldn’t leave until they got home from work.” Nerves had her words
pouring out in a flood. “I tried to call you but you must be out of range—”

“Come inside.” John reached for her hand, his fingers wrapping
hers in a firm grip. His eyes filled with amusement plus warmth and affection.
“You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

* * *

J
OHN
HELD
TIGHTLY
to Katie’s hand,
relieved she’d shown up and half afraid if he let go she would disappear back
into the night. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail but wisps fell around her
high cheekbones and her eyes were dark and smoky. “I just put Tuti to bed. Do
you want something to eat? A cup of tea, a glass of wine?”

“Nothing right now, thanks.” She gestured behind her, to the
door. “My bag’s still in the car.” Her gaze searched his. “That’s still okay,
isn’t it? You haven’t changed your mind about me staying?”

How could she question whether he would welcome her? And yet he
could recall other occasions when she’d been insecure around him, often masking
it as anger. For example, the incident with Candice. He’d meant nothing by his
banter but clearly Katie had seen it as “flirting with intent.”

The truth hit him with a pang. This was the legacy of him
“abandoning” her. He needed to reassure her, earn back her trust.

“Of course it’s okay. It’s more than okay. I’ve been thinking
about you all day, waiting for you to get here.” He kissed her lightly on the
lips, brushing her hair behind her ear. Then leaned in for a deeper kiss. He
felt Katie lift onto her toes to meet him.

“Bapa!”
A high-pitched voice rang
out. “Who’s there? Is it Katie?”

John groaned. “Nice timing, Tuti.”

Katie dropped to her heels, cheeks flushed. “Oh, good. She’s
still awake.”

“She’s dying to see you.” Reluctantly, he released Katie, his
gaze lingering on hers. “I’ll bring in your suitcase while you say good-night to
her.”

“Okay. See you in a minute.”

He heard Tuti greet Katie joyfully as he ran out to her car,
raindrops dampening his T-shirt and wet grass brushing at his ankles. He grabbed
her suitcase and her laptop bag, his mind leaping ahead to later tonight.

He didn’t want to rush her. Or rush the evening. He would light
the wood stove, bring out the good bottle of Shiraz he’d been saving and put on
soft music. She deserved to be wooed. He wanted to woo her. If all went
according to his hopes and plans, they would make love again here where they had
sex for the first time. He badly wanted to show her how precious she still was
to him.

Back inside, he started down the hall to his room then changed
his mind and placed her bags in the hall. When it came to Katie he had to walk a
fine line between showing her how much he wanted her and not scaring her off.
Definitely it wouldn’t do to make assumptions at this stage. If they weren’t on
the same page, well, she could always sleep in the third bedroom. But he hoped
very much that they would be keeping each other warm tonight.

Tuti ran out of her room, her penguin pajama bottoms rucked up
around one knee, her excited face split in a wide grin. “We’re going to play
Snakes and Ladders!”

Katie came after, apologetic. “She wouldn’t settle. I said she
could stay up for one game.”

“I don’t know.” John pretended to be disapproving. “Miss
Henning tells me that children need routine, with a regular bedtime.”

Tuti’s face fell tragically. “Oh!”

Katie laughed at him over Tuti’s head. “Don’t be mean.”

Tuti grabbed hold of his hand.
“Please,
Bapa.”

“Okay, okay.” John laughed. “One game.”

“Popcorn, too,” Tuti added happily, racing to the shelf below
the window that held the board games.

Tuti and Katie sat side by side on the couch in front of the
coffee table. John pulled up a stool. Logs crackled in the wood stove. One game
stretched to two. Popcorn extended to hot chocolate. Wine for the adults. John
found he couldn’t object too strenuously, no matter how much he wanted to get
Katie alone. He hadn’t seen Tuti so happy since, well, since the last time she’d
been with Katie.

Katie’s dark eyes sparkled with warmth and humor and a deeper
heat that made his blood thrum. She lifted her arm to push back her hair in an
unconscious movement that drew his eye to the full curve of her breasts.
Noticing the direction of his focus, she smiled slowly.

“It’s your turn,” Tuti urged him. “Roll the dice.”

Dragging his gaze away, he barely noticed where his marker
landed or Tuti’s gleeful chortle when he slid down the longest snake and was
back to square one.

Finally Tuti wore out and laid her head on Katie’s knee,
yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“Come on, Possum. It’s time you were in bed.” He scooped her
into his arms and carried her down the hall as she waved good-night to Katie. He
tucked her in bed and she was asleep almost instantly. With a kiss on her
forehead he went out, leaving the door ajar.

Katie was putting the cups in the sink.

John came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist.
“I’m so glad you came. I’ve waited for this chance for us a very long time.” He
kissed her lightly then nuzzled the soft skin behind her ear. Before she could
reply he kissed her again, tasting, nibbling, teasing her lips open. “Come to
bed with me.”

He felt the sigh go through her as though he’d breathed it
himself. Then she roused herself and eased back enough to look up at him. “We
should talk first.”

He knew she was right; he just had a feeling that what he was
going to say wasn’t what she expected to hear. “Go sit down. I’ll put another
log on the fire.”

CHAPTER TWELVE

K
ATIE
CURLED
UP
on the couch again while John stoked the wood-burning stove. So far the
evening had been perfect. With luck and goodwill between them they could meet
somewhere in the middle. John brought with him a sheaf of papers from a side
table when he came to sit next to her.

“What’s all this?” Katie asked.

He handed her a police newsletter open to an ad with a color
photo of a tropical island. “Tinman Island in far north Queensland. I’ve applied
for a job there, as commander. It sounds more important than it is. The point
is, if I got the position, I’d be on active duty, not just pushing paper from my
In tray to my Out tray.”

She blinked at the ad, not comprehending. When she’d said she
wanted to talk she meant about them and the issues dividing them. She was tired
of sweeping things under the carpet and wanted to clean them up once and for
all. Instead, he’d brought up a brand-new problem. “What’s on Tinman
Island?”

“It’s a resort island but there’s also an indigenous population
and locals who work in the service industry,” he explained. “Talking to you at
Tuti’s party helped me clarify my thinking. I badly need a new challenge and a
change of scenery. When I saw this ad, I knew it was for me.”

“So you meant what you said that day. You want to leave
Summerside.”
And her
. And she’d helped him come to
that conclusion. A chill came over her. She rubbed her arms.

“Cold?” John pulled down a shawl from the back of the couch and
wrapped it around her shoulders. “Is that better? I love the village. It will
always be my home, but I’ve lived there all my life, aside from that year I
spent surfing and traveling. A change would do me a world of good.
If
I get the job, that is.”

Was this why he’d invited her to the cottage, to let her down
gently? She tugged the shawl tighter around herself. How could she ask if they
were breaking up? They weren’t back together officially. “If you get the job,
how soon would you need to go there?”

“Probably within a month. The incumbent commander has been
hospitalized with serious health problems. They want to fill the position as
soon as possible.”

“I see. You said you weren’t happy doing administrative work
but will this be any better? What is this anyway, a promotion, a demotion,
sideways shift…what?”

“Technically it’s a promotion, but because of the small size of
the station I would be more hands-on than currently.”

The pit in Katie’s stomach got bigger. It sounded exactly what
he’d been looking for. “Tuti has finally settled into school. She’s making
friends and catching up to the grade with her English skills. Moving her again
so soon would set her back.”

“She’s a smart kid. Resilient. She’ll adapt again. And this
time it will be easier since, as you say, her language skills are
progressing.”

“Your mother won’t be happy to lose her newest granddaughter
just as she’s getting to know her. And do you really want to take her away from
your sisters’ kids?”

“I know my family is important to her, or will be. But frankly,
Tuti doesn’t get along with my mother all that well. And my sisters’ kids are
older so they don’t play together.”

“Give your mother time. She’ll figure out how to reach Tuti. I
think, after the birthday party, she’s already starting to sort things out.”

“Katie.” He shook his head. “I thought you would understand. I
thought you would be happy for me. For us. Why are you so determined to put up
obstacles?”

“For us? Where is the ‘us’ in you getting a new job and moving
to far north Queensland?” She swallowed. “It sounds to me as if you’re gearing
up to tell me goodbye.”

“Goodbye?” Shock blanked his face. “Oh, Katie, no. You’ve
misunderstood.” He took her hand and held it between his. “It’s my fault. I
didn’t explain properly. If I get the position, I’d like you to come with me and
Tuti.”

She laughed out of sheer relief.

“I’m not joking,” he said, misinterpreting. “It would mean so
much to both of us.”

“You want me to come with you.” She eyed him warily, not
wanting to take anything for granted. “As a tutor for your daughter?”

“I’m really screwing this up, aren’t I? Katie, I love you. I
want you to come with me as my wife. Marry me. Please.” He rubbed his thumb
across the back of her hand. “I know this is sudden. I should have discussed the
job with you before I applied. But I saw the ad and the closing date was that
day. I shot off my résumé straight away.”

“I don’t know, John.”
He loved her
.
Part of her was tap dancing inside. Part of her was still wary. “We’re barely
friends again and you’re asking me to marry you? And for me to leave Summerside,
my home and family. My students?”

“Tinman Island isn’t the end of the earth. There are flights
out every day. You could visit Summerside whenever you wanted. You could quit
teaching and write full-time.” His hand moved up to cup her jaw. “We don’t have
to marry yet if you’re not ready. I don’t even have the job yet. I just wanted
to talk to you about this so it doesn’t come out of the blue if I get it.
Please, just think about coming with me. It’ll be an adventure.”

His excitement was infectious. Suddenly she began to see the
possibilities of living in a tropical paradise with John and Tuti. Maybe this
was fate. Maybe she and John were destined to get their happy ever after at long
last. “I guess I could think about it.”

“Fantastic.” He curled his arm around her shoulders and
positioned the newsletter between them so they could both look at it. “That’s
the police commander’s residence,” he said, pointing to a bungalow tucked into a
palm grove close to the beach. “Rent is minimal and other expenses would be
small. Mainly because there’s not a lot to do besides laze in the sun, snorkel,
fish, swim…”

“Write, read…” Katie gazed up at John, searching his face. “It
almost sounds too good to be true.”

“It will be if you’re there with me.”

“You shouldn’t count your chickens before getting the job,” she
cautioned.

“I’m not. But if this doesn’t work out, something else will
come along.”

“When will you hear?”

“According to the ad, they want to make a decision soon. I
should know by next week if I get an interview.”

“Wow.” Katie shook her head, dazed. “This morning I was
wondering what this day would hold. But I thought I’d be discussing the past
with you. I never dreamed we’d be contemplating the future.”

She met John’s gaze and his naked look of love and longing
tugged powerfully at her heart. Her thoughts raced. She didn’t want to get ahead
of herself, but the more she thought about it the more excited she was. They
didn’t have to get married right away. They were still figuring out how their
lives would fit together.

But this felt right. John felt right snug up against her side.
And then he was kissing her, his lips seeking hers and his warm, strong hands
stroking her arms, along her thigh…

But wait, was she managing to stick to her plan?
She would listen without prejudice to what he had to
say
—check.
She would give him the benefit of the
doubt
—check.

“I want more than just a week in a cottage with you,” he said
next to her ear, sending shivers down her neck and a warm glow through her
heart. “I want love, marriage, family. The whole shebang. I want a second
chance. We owe it to ourselves.”

He took her mouth in another deep, drugging kiss. Her limbs
felt heavy and her heartbeat sounded in her ears.
She
wouldn’t fall into his bed right away
—

Well, two out of three wasn’t bad.

She eased away and whispered, “Let’s go to bed.”

He gathered her into his arms and lifted her to her feet. With
his arm around her, he walked her down the hall to his bedroom, kissing her all
the way.

Wind rattled the bedroom’s windowpanes. Rain drummed on the tin
roof. The table lamp’s warm glow illuminated an old dresser and a quilt-covered
white iron bedstead. Some places in Summerside held mixed memories but this room
evoked nothing but love.

John stroked her hair. “Do you remember our first time?”

“How could I forget?” Nervous, eager, clumsy, awkward, tender,
intense and emotional. That hot summer night, just the two of them at the beach
cottage, had been the consummation of two years of affection, respect and
growing passion. “We were so young, so innocent. We had no idea what lay ahead
for us…”

“We still don’t.” He slipped the top button of her blouse free.
“But we’ve learned a few things since then. We can make some better
choices.”

She stiffened. Was he referring to her illness?

Then he slid a warm palm inside her bra and cupped her breast,
tenderly, protectively. “Like you on top, for instance.”

She barely had time to smile before his searing kiss pushed
thoughts of the past from her mind. His tongue plunged boldly inside her mouth,
letting her know the time for teasing and dancing around each other was over.
And she was more than ready. She tugged at his T-shirt, her fingers exploring
hot skin, tracing bones and muscles, reacquainting herself with his body. The
mole on his left rib cage, the scar below his right nipple where he’d cut
himself on rocks in a wave surge. All so familiar, all so dear.

John broke away to tear his shirt off. In the glow of the table
lamp she saw what her fingers had discovered—the new solidity of his frame,
muscles hardened and developed over years into maturity. When she’d last made
love to him he was barely more than a youth. Now he was a man.

With a man’s needs and a man’s desires. The intent heat in his
gaze as he slowly undid her remaining buttons and removed her blouse made her
shiver. With a flick of his fingers her bra came apart and fell to the floor.
Her breasts bounced lightly with the release, making his pupils darken. She was
proud of her breasts and she loved his reaction.

He leaned down and drew one nipple inside his mouth, sucking
and teasing with his tongue.
She loved the way he loved
them
. His other hand slid up under her skirt, stroking her inner
thighs. She loved his slow hand. He hadn’t forgotten what made her breath catch
and what made her bite her bottom lip. His fingers molded her flesh, working
their magic. Liquid heat spread between her legs, upward into her belly, making
her knees weak and her limbs heavy.

Somehow she worked his zipper loose and pushed his jeans down.
He got rid of her skirt, then her panties. He drew her against him, his erection
throbbing against her belly. She took his mouth in another long, deep kiss and
pushed him toward the bed. “Let’s warm up those sheets.”

He drew back the quilt and she slid between the cool cotton
while he found a condom in the drawer.

Katie plucked it out of his hands. Slowly she slid it over his
thick hard member, loving how his eyes glazed over and his breath became more
labored just from her touch.

“On top, you say?” Putting her hands on his chest, she pushed
him down onto the pillow. Riding his hips, she kissed him, relishing the way he
fondled and stroked her breasts and buttocks, building back the heat and urgency
that had dissipated briefly while they’d been occupied with protection.

Their bodies moved together as if they’d never been apart. It
almost felt surreal, being back with John. Yet here she was where she never
thought she’d be again. Now she could admit to herself that all her fantasies
over the years wore his face. All her longings were for his knowing touch. All
her heart had ever wanted were
his
eyes gazing into
hers.

In the tiny room where they’d first made love, the fire was
reignited. He took her breasts in his hands and worshipped them with his mouth.
She eased herself up and onto him, felt the push at her entrance, the slow
filling and stretching while her gaze held his. Before she was fully sheathed
she began to withdraw, her breath held, every muscle rigid.

“Katie.” His voice was hoarse with need, his face taut with the
effort of restraining himself. He took her hips with a bruising grip, his
fingertips digging into her flesh.

Slick and hot, again she slid down partway. Again she withdrew,
her breathing shallow. Tightness coiled in her like an overwound watch. Heat
grew. Down, down, down. When he filled her completely, she let out a sigh that
went all the way to her toes. She rocked once, twice, savoring the feel of him
inside her, the delicious tension, balancing the urge to move with the fight for
control.

“Enough.” John flipped her onto her back with a wicked
grin.

With that, the mood and the tempo changed. He thrust hard,
stoking her fire, faster and faster until she was barely hanging on, biting his
shoulder to stop from crying out, feeling herself spiral out of control, up and
up—

Maddeningly, he slowed his pace again, taking evil delight when
she hit him on the chest with an anguished thump.

“Got a problem, Katykins?” he teased, a light in his eyes. He
looked younger than she’d seen him in ages.

A lump in her throat formed when he’d called her Katykins. He
only used the pet term when they were alone, never in public. He’d coined the
name the first morning they’d woken up together. Hearing him use the endearment
now brought the past back, all the hope and happiness they’d once shared.

She pretended to pout. “You had me so close and then you eased
off.”

He braced his hands on either side of her head and started to
grind in slow circles. “I’ll get you there again.”

The veins stood out on his arms, the tendons on his neck
stretched. His technique had become more skillful in the years they’d been
apart. Not so surprising considering how many women he’d been with since then.
But she didn’t want to think about
that
. What was
surprising was that he recalled what drove
her
wild.
Sucking on her earlobe while he played with her nipple, timing the rhythm of
both with his thrusts so all three built and built, compounding the intensity of
sensation. Within moments she was almost unbearably aroused.