To Crown a Caesar (The Praetorian Series: Book II) (37 page)

“On the first night of my return,” he started softly, with obvious hesitation, “I
was reunited with my sweetheart of five years.  We’d gone to school together and I was certain we’d be married just as soon as I finished my time in the service.  I took her to dinner and a play that night, a small affair as the city is not big, but we had a fabulous time…” he trailed off, a small smile forming on his lips before he repressed it completely and his remaining hand balled itself into a tight fist.  “But that night would soon become the worst of my life.

“
We were walking home through a dark alley, not dangerous, just dark, holding hands as we laughed and talked, but as we approached the main road, two men stepped out from around the corner.  The first man pulled a gun on us and the second pulled a tire iron from his belt.

“My first thought was that I could defeat t
hem both in a fight.  Look the hero to my girl.  So I focused on the man with the gun, hoping he’d make the first move.  He ordered me to take out my wallet and throw it on the ground.  In retrospect, he seemed nervous.  He kept his distance and never came any closer.  I was such a fool.  While I planned my assault, ignoring his demand, the second man stepped forward and hit my girl on the side of her head with the tire iron.”

He paused again, and
invisible tears streamed from hardened eyes that would never allow overt emotions to present themselves.

“I threw them my money and they left, but she would never recover.  I carried her to a hospital only to have the doctors tell me she was in a coma, and that they had no idea when she’d recover.  Her parents arrived, only to blame me and banish me from the hospital, never allowing me to visit.”  He expelled a lung full of breath as he recovered.  “She’s still there.  At least, she was before we came here.  Her parents refused
to take her off life support.

“I’ve been to see her on every anniversary of the incident, despite her parents’ wishes
, until the day we came here.  Her sister was always kind to me and helped me see her, but I… I don’t think I’ve ever told her how much I appreciated her for it.”

“I’m sorry, Vincent,” I said, placing a hand on his shoulder.  “I had no idea.”

“Very few do, Hunter, but the story is not yet complete.  Two nights later, I tracked her assaulter down with the help of a friend in the police, and found him outside of a bar along with the gunman, and confronted them.  I beat them both to within an inch of their lives.  I can still remember as my fists drove home against their faces, pulverizing teeth and destroying bone…” his hand shook even more violently now.  “I spent two hours keeping them awake before pummeling them again, just so I could do it all over again.  The one who hadn’t done a thing ended up paralyzed, but both lived, and I didn’t care.  I was nineteen years old.  I knew then and there I was a different person.”

I was shocked.  Beyond shocked.  Vincent had always stru
ck me as the most patient, calm and unflinching individual I’d ever met.  A man who always did the right thing.  He never doubted himself and always made rational decisions.  I couldn’t imagine him doing anything like what he was describing.

“What happened?”  I asked, incredulous.

“I ran away,” he answered sadly.  “I broke down.  The anguish I felt for her and the anger I felt at myself drove me into self-imposed exile.  I wandered through Europe for over a year, working odd jobs, begging in the streets.  I was a wreck.  Then… one day, I came back.  I saw my sweetheart in the hospital, visited my family and changed my life.”

“What made you come back?”

“I just realized one day that I’d made the wrong choice.  In a time of great need, I pushed my friends and family away when I needed them most, and nearly killed two men because of it.”

It was at that point that I understood
where he was coming from.

“Neither man had any family,” he continued, “
and no charges were ever filed.  My friend in the police saw to that.  It wasn’t something I wanted, but it was the reality I had to accept.  I reenlisted with the military for a few years before finally joining the Swiss Guard.  My first thought was to become a priest, but I knew after what I’d done that I didn’t deserve it.  So, I did the next best thing.  It allowed me the opportunity to utilize the skills I learned in the military and surround myself in one of the most holy of atmospheres.

“I will tell you Jacob, the only people who have heard the entirety of this story are the priests I confessed this sin to on a near daily basis, and you.”

I sighed, weary of hard choices and tough situations.  I didn’t know why life decided to play such cruel tricks on me, on anyone really, but Vincent’s story reminded me I wasn’t alone.  There were others with their own demons to battle and burdens to bear.

“Thank you for your candor, Vincent, but what made you decide to tell me?”

“Well, I think you deserved to know anyway, but,” he said with a look towards the stars, “you should know that I already knew what happened between you and Agrippina.  Helena spoke to me about it early yesterday morning.  Told me to be ready because she knew you’d come to me.”

“She did, did she?”  I asked with a smirk, not even close to surprised.

“She did,” he confirmed.  “Like I told you, Jacob, she’s a very special woman.  You’d do well to remember that.  Don’t make the same mistakes I did.  Talk to her.  Use her.  She wants you to.  We all do.  When you’ve done that, you can come back, and maybe I can help a bit too.  But she’s the one you really want to listen to.”

Our campfire had been entertaining me quite a bit that night, and I found myself staring
at it once again, having never grown so fascinated by it than I was just now.  Vincent’s words weren’t anything new.  Helena had told me the same exact thing months ago under Galba’s bed.  There, we’d aired our grievances, but never worked through them.  That was also a mistake, and I couldn’t start throwing everything new concerning Agrippina under the bed now, especially when now was the time to confront them most of all.

“Thanks, Vincent,” I said, turning back to him with a wry look on my face.  “I knew talking to you would help.”

He smiled and stuck out his remaining hand, which I grasped firmly.

“So did Helena.  Just remember.  We all have our good moments and our bad, and some are worse than others, but
regardless of which decides to surface at any given time, it’s how we handle them that define who we are.”

I released his hand and stood up from my log.

“I’ll remember that,” I said, turning back to my tent, “enjoy the rest of your night.”

“Easy for you to say,” he said, rolling his eyes.  “I’m getting too old for watch detail this early in the morning.”

I laughed and left the older man to wait out his remaining time before taking over for Wang.

My walk back to the tent was a slow one but once inside, I pulled off my boots and removed my fleece coat.  The chill hit me like a swarm of daggers until I found my way under my sleeping bag, which Helena was keeping nice and warm.  I rested my head on the pillow just briefly before deciding to shift up close to Helena and wrap my arms around her, holding her close and tight.  I brushed some hair away from her neck, and kissed it, knowing my subtle touch would do little to jar her awake.

But after only the one kiss, she shifted where she lay and hummed pleasantly to herself.

“That feels nice, Jacob,” she said softly.  “You must have had a good talk then.”

“You know,” I said, leaning up over her, “for a woman who could sleep through the apocalypse, you have an interesting talent for being awake exactly when I need you to be.”

She squirmed in my arms, and shifted onto her other shoulder.  She pulled herself close, pressing her cheek against my bare chest.  “That’s because I love you, Jacob.”

“I know, Helena, and that’s why I want to talk to you.”

“Right now?”  She asked

“Right now.”

She pul
led back and looked up, using her hand to tilt my head down so that she could kiss me.  She smiled at me and pulled away, resting her head against my chest again and closed her eyes.

“I’m ready, Jacob.  Always.”

***

And we talked. 

And talked.

We talked until dawn.

We spent hours going over how I felt about Agrippina and what happened aboard that barge.  She was quiet at first, but our talk quickly became one of the most heartfelt conversations of my life.  I almost broke down again, not out of anger or even sadness, but just out of plain happiness at how lucky I was for having someone like Helena.  She didn’t try to shower me with advice or attempt to justify what had happened to me.  Didn’t explain that it was all the orb’s fault and none of my own.  Nor did she have suggestions for what to do in the future.  She did none of those things, the things most people hated to receive when seeking solace in another person’s company.

Instead, she mostly listened.   She requested clarification in places she didn’t understand, asked meaningful questions that drove the conversation deeper, and most important, didn’t allow her own overwhelming bias to get in the way.  This was my time to vent and grieve, and she understood that.

In the end, the feeling of unease was still there, the thought that the orb may still hold some sway over me remained, but everything else felt better.  I fell asleep against her chest that night, her near naked body embracing me warmly, comfortingly, having ended our conversation with a bought of lovemaking more passionate than we’d ever shared before.  Sleep came easily that night, exhausted as I was, but something told me it would continue to come just as easily as the days rolled on.

When dawn turned to morning, we had only been asleep for an hour.  Soon later, Santino arrived at our tent, calling for us to get up and have breakfast.  I had been amazed at how quickly Helena responded, but more amazed at the response itself.  She had leapt to her feet and shoved Santino to the ground through the vinyl of
the tent.

He had to have known it was her
since she was the one who normally resorted to violence.

Especially in the morning

Outside, we heard him say, with laughter playing in the background, “She’s always like that in the morning.”

Helena responded by punching at the vinyl again violently, probably still half asleep
.  I watched drearily as she swayed in place, her arms up as though she were preparing for a boxing match, wearing nothing at all.

“All right, I’ll make it two.”

She collapsed at the comment and crawled her way to rest her head on my chest, and fell asleep before I could make a single comment.

I was out seconds later.

Three
hours after the incident, Santino came back.  After shaking the tent tentatively, Helena reluctantly got up and left the tent like a zombie, only remembering to put on a shirt and a pair shorts after I had to throw them at her.  I watched her go with a grin on my face as she shoved Santino to the dirt as she passed by him.

***

We were on the road again by midday, continuing our trek eastward.

Just a
s the sun began its descent towards night, and with only the sparse tree or lonely shrub populating the area, I looked around, safe in my assumption that we were countless miles away from the nearest soul.

I called for a halt.

Madrina and Helena were on wagon duty, while the rest of us guys were on horseback.  Women drawing the carts would have been the norm in the area, and we didn’t want to deviate from common practice.  At one point in our journey, I’d noticed the two women conversing quietly but intently.  Bordeaux later rode up to inform me he hoped I hadn’t told Helena any dirty little secrets because they were about to become his dirty little secrets as well.  I’d groaned and pulled my horse away from the smiling brute’s, hoping Helena didn’t say anything I’d regret.

Madrina pulled hard on the reigns and the wagon halted.  Seconds later, Wang and Santino dismounted and pulled one of our gear containers from the back of the cart.  They heaved it with little difficulty, as it was completely empty, except for one small thing.

“Where do you want it, boss?”  Santino asked.

I surveyed the area again, noting a single palm tree fifty yards from the road.

“Bury it behind that tree, at least ten feet deep.”

The two men nodded and carried off the container while Bordeaux and Titus followed, carrying shovels for the four of them.  Vincent remained behind, his skills with a pistol for security far outweighing his ability to use a shovel.  The two ladies and I lingered as well
, and I pulled out my Sig Saur P220 pistol and started cleaning it.  I smiled at it as I wiped a silky cloth across the slide.  The P220 wasn’t standard issue for SEALs, the 9mm P226 owning that honor, but I liked the P220’s increased stopping power.  I always gave
Penelope
far more credit and recognition than my trusty little pistol, but I had to admit, it had saved my life on a number of occasions.  I decided I’d take the time to give it a more thorough cleaning this time.