To Desire a Wilde (15 page)

A
lthough exhausted from helping his brothers clean up the mess and re-capture the cattle that had gotten free from one of the new pastures, Shilah was bounding up the stairs, two at a time, rushing to return to Ellie.

The entire time he'd been helping his brothers, his mind had been on Ellie, their night together. The memory of how well she fit him, both in and out of bed, had been on his mind throughout the morning.

It had been a long time since he'd felt as he did; happy, content…he laughed out loud. Hell, he'd never felt like this before. But, she brought the joy out in him. Made him believe that he was worthy of love. And knowing she loved him as well had sealed it for him.

He was going to do it; he was going to ask Ellie to marry him. There was no one else he wanted, no one
else made him feel the way she did. He knew no other ever would.

He'd wrestled with the thought as he'd helped his brothers, distracted, a part of him afraid of her answer, although she'd told him she loved him.

She said she loved him, but did she love him enough to take a chance on him? Take a chance on them, and bind herself to him, for the rest of her life?

She valued her independence, a hard-fought independence. One he knew had come from a steely determination to overcome the curve life had thrown her at a young age.

If it took her a little while longer to come to the same conclusion he had, that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, as he did with her, he was willing to wait.

He'd wait as long as necessary.

Taking a fortifying breath, he opened the door to his room and walked inside. When he saw her standing in front of the single, large window, staring out, he walked over to her. Leaning down, he placed a kiss on the side of her neck.

“Hey, baby, I'm sorry that took so long. I—”

The minute she turned around, his heart seemed to stop beating for a moment at the look in her red-rimmed eyes.

“Baby, what's wrong?”

When she simply stared up at him, her large doe-shaped eyes rimmed in red, he ran his hands over her, glancing down at her knee, his first thought that she'd somehow hurt herself.

When she said nothing, he frowned. “Are your parents okay?” Again, she said nothing. He looked closely at
her, saw the anger behind the tears, the set cast of her features, and his gut hollowed out.

“You're scaring me, Ellie. Wha—”

She turned away from him. Calmly walking over to the bed, she lifted a large yellow envelope in her hand and turned back to face him.

“I think this was meant for you.”

Shilah's glance ran from her set face, back to the envelope she held in her hand.

Slowly he walked toward her, taking the envelope. He lifted the flap and drew out the contents.

The minute he saw what was inside, a fury unlike anything he'd ever felt gripped him as he leafed through the pictures.

“Where did you get this?” he bit out.

“They were left under your door. Guess whoever put them there didn't think I'd still be around,” she said, laughing humorlessly.

“What's that supposed to mean, El?” he asked, reaching out to touch her.

She jerked back, her nostrils flaring, anger rolling off her slim frame. “Don't call me that,” she said, and he allowed his hands to drop to his sides.

“Obviously you didn't take the pictures.” She laughed harshly. “You left that up to someone else. Be kinda hard to take these types of pictures yourself,” she said, her laugh shrill, unnatural. “I've got to hand it to you, Shilah. When you said family meant everything to you—” she stopped, shaking her head “—you meant it.”

His glance flew to hers, his eyes narrowing even more at the hint of accusation. “Surely you don't think I had
anything to do with this, El…Ellie?” he asked, a new type of anger replacing the one at seeing the pictures.

She spun around, facing him. “What am I supposed to think, Shilah?” she asked, her voice no longer flat, her eyes blazing…accusing.

“You're supposed to think that someone else did this. Not me.”

“Why? Who would have anything to gain by that? No,” she said. “Do you want me to tell you what I think?”

He crossed his arms across his chest. “Yes, why don't you tell me?” he asked, flatly.

“I think you knew about this. In fact—” She stopped, her eyes narrowing. “Maybe you and your brothers were afraid of what the investigation would show and thought you'd stack the odds in your favor, just in case.”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Sad thing is I was just going to tell you today that the results came back last night. Preliminary, but they cleared the ranch.” She shook her head, choking down tears. “None of this was necessary. The ranch was going to be cleared.”

Shilah waited for her to continue, remaining silent. If he said anything now, he knew he'd regret it. The very fact that she believed he and his brothers would use her like this, was like a knife. He felt the pain of her doubt and accusations pierce his skin and rip through his heart.

He turned away from her, unable to look at her face.

To think he'd wanted to ask her to marry him, to become a part of his family, a family she thought capable of something so horrendous.

“You didn't have to screw the cripple after all.”

At her words, the knife drove the rest of the way through his heart. He turned away from her.

“Get out.”

When she said nothing more, he kept his back to her and repeated the demand.

“Get the hell out and don't ever show your face at my home again.”

“S
o this is where my mad scientist is holed up. Thought I might find you here.”

Ellie spun around in her chair and with a tired smile glanced at her father standing in the doorway.

“What are you still doing here, Dad? Thought you'd left hours ago,” she asked, watching as he strode inside.

“Naw, thought I'd hang around for a little longer. Your mama is having that bongo game of hers tonight with some women from her church group.”

Ellie laughed. “That would be bunko, Dad,” she said, correcting her father.

“Craps, that's what it really is. And to think these are supposedly upstanding women in the community… No shame,” he said, shaking his head. But Ellie saw the twinkle in his eyes and knew that her father was trying
his best to make her smile, something she hadn't done…hadn't felt like doing, since her breakup with Shilah.

“These women have no shame.”

“Dad, come on, it's just a harmless game!”

“With dice,” he said, lifting a brow. “Where they play for money.” He shook his head again. “I don't know, El, sounds like craps to me.”

Ellie burst out laughing and her father grinned at her. When her laughter subsided he came to stand next to her, running his hand over her hair.

“Good to see you smile, baby girl.” He frowned, running a critical glance over her. “You look tired. Can't you wrap this up for the night? Maybe those hustlers left us something to eat. I think they should be leaving soon,” he said, referring again to her mother's friends, tugging another smile from Ellie.

With a sigh she spun back around.

“Can't. I—I have to finish this,” she said, and turned back to the clutter on her desk, sifting through it to find the file she was looking for.

From the corner of her eye she saw her father discreetly move his glance away from the screen of her laptop, where her typed notes were in plain view.

She turned to her father, unknowingly biting the corner of her lips.

“What's wrong, Ellie? I can tell something is bothering you. And before you say it—” He raised a finger, before she could make the automatic response. “Yes, I know you can't tell me details. I wouldn't ask that of you. But, if I can help in any small way, you know you can trust me, El.”

Ellie sighed. “I know that, Dad. And it's not that I don't trust you.” She shook her head, laughing humorlessly.
“Besides, it's not as though I need to worry about any taint to the investigation.” She drew in a shuddering breath, tears of frustration and loss clouding her eyes as she looked up at her father. “Been there, done that.”

Seeing the concern in his eyes, she turned away, wiping the corner of her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Ellie,” he murmured, “is there anything I can do? Why don't you let me talk to Shilah,” he said, and she broke away, shaking her head vehemently.

“No, Dad. Please, just leave it.”

After giving her a considering look he slowly nodded his head, deferring to her.

“I think I've already messed up enough,” she said. “He doesn't want to see me or talk to me. And I don't want to get you involved with this. I'm a big girl.” She forced a smile on her lips. “I can take care of myself,”

“Yeah, but you're always going to be my baby girl.” He sat down in the chair next to her, sighing heavily. “Doesn't stop me from worrying about you. Never will,” he finished gruffly. Again, her father brought a reluctant laugh to her lips.

“And I wouldn't have you any other way,” she said, a small smile on her face as she glanced at her father.

Tired lines bracketed his face, and she felt a moment of guilt, knowing she was the reason.

For the last week both her father and mother had been worrying over her, since she'd been fired from the project.

And, although she hadn't told them—not yet ready to talk about it, still sorting through the range of emotions, from pain and loss to betrayal—she knew they were also aware of her breakup with Shilah.

After wrestling with the decision about what to do about the photos, she'd come to the conclusion that simply because they existed, no matter who had taken them, she had no choice but to tell Clarence, her supervisor at Jasper and Brant.

When she'd made the call, afraid of what his reaction would be, she'd haltingly related the trail of events, and despite the shame, she admitted that she had entered into a relationship with Shilah Wilde. She'd continued, telling him of the pictures, how she'd found them and where.

There'd been a long moment of silence before Clarence had spoken. Afraid of his reaction, she'd been rendered speechless at his response.

Ethically, he had no choice but to pull her from the investigation and bring in another investigator. But he wouldn't disclose the true reasons to anyone, least of all the USDA, not wanting to ruin Ellie's reputation.

She'd closed her eyes, emotion overcoming her. She'd informed him that she believed the ranch was innocent of the charges, based on the blood work and her own observations. She had offered to pass the final report on to him so that he could give it to the new investigator. He'd quickly rejected her offer, his voice gentle, telling her that although he wouldn't disclose what she'd done, he had no choice but to begin the investigation all over.

When she'd asked what that meant for the Wilde Ranch, he'd told her, regret in his voice, that it likely meant quarantine, due to time constraints. At her gasp, he quickly went on to say it would be only temporary.

 

“I'm fine.” Her shoulders slumped. “It's just that now I don't know what this will mean for the ranch. God, I
feel so awful,” she said, her voice breaking. “And there's nothing I can do about it. Until this is all cleared up… Dad, they could lose everything,” she said, tears burning her eyes.

“Ellie, this isn't your fault, and there isn't a thing you can do. I won't lie and say this isn't serious, damn serious,” he said, his face and tone grim. “But they'll get through this. They're a strong family. They've been through a lot.”

She nodded her head, swallowing the pain in her heart as Shilah's face, bland, neutral as she had flung her accusations at him as he'd faced her, flashed in her mind. She hung her head down low, remembering the look of pain she'd seen in his dark eyes before he'd turned away from her and ordered her off his property.

Piggybacking that memory was the one of Shilah holding her close after they'd made love and sharing a part of his life with her…trusting her enough to share things he'd never shared with another, even the men he called brothers.

The flare of emotion in his beautiful eyes when he'd called her family.

She turned her face away from her dad, not wanting him to see the emotion she knew she was unable to hide from him.

She'd compromised her professional integrity and risked her license, the threat of which still loomed ominously over her head like a black cloud. But what hurt more than anything was the knowledge that Shilah had been playing with her, toying with her feelings, pretending to care for her as desperately as she had fallen for him.

He hadn't even bothered denying the accusations.

She hardened her heart.

“God, how could I have been so stupid?”

Her father gathered her in his arms, and for long moments simply hugged her. “Baby girl, when it comes to love, there is no such thing as stupid,” he said, his expression thoughtful.

“I'm proud of you, Ellie. I always have been. And no matter what
anyone
says, I know that you are a woman of integrity. I know you wouldn't…didn't…allow your relationship with Shilah to influence you one way or another. And when they bring that new investigator in, and they find out the same thing you did, not only will the boys be exonerated, so will you.”

At his words, the small control she had broke away and she let the tears fall, crying silently as she allowed her father to hold her tight in his arms. “Thank you, Dad,” she whispered against his chest.

When she felt in better control, she pulled away and silently accepted the tissue he offered.

“Guess I'd better get back to work, Dad. Gotta clear all this up, send in my final report,” she said. Although Clarence had told her he wouldn't need her report, Ellie wanted to complete the job, if for no other reason than her own professional satisfaction.

With a nod, her father leaned down and kissed the side of her head.

“Baby girl, no matter what, remember what I said.” Ellie smiled a tremulous smile and slowly he turned and left.

Ellie gathered the remaining documents, carefully placing them in the file folder and turned to retrieve her disk, the one she'd backed up with all of her information from the investigation.

Her professional dignity was about all she had right now, and no matter what, she was going to finish the job. It was all she had right now.

If she could just convince Clarence to submit her report, maybe she'd be able to salvage some of her dignity, knowing findings would be under tight scrutiny.
Any
chance she had of saving face…including her reputation, rested on her report.

She sat back in her chair, and blindly reached for her coffee, bringing it to her lips and grimacing as the now cold liquid slid down her throat.

She glanced over at the clock, and noting the time, knew that despite the lateness of the hour, she wouldn't be going to bed anytime soon.

Between losing her job and losing Shilah, sleep was definitely not in the cards for her tonight, any more so than it had been for the last few days.

A frown marred her forehead as she thought over her last conversation with Clarence. At the time they'd spoken, she'd been so grateful when he'd said he wouldn't disclose the reason she was leaving the investigation, she'd nearly wept in relief. Now she thought of the conversation and his avowals of believing that despite her relationship with Shilah she had no bias. He had declined her offer to submit her report.

She fully understood why he felt ethically bound to remove her, but why not accept her report? The question nagged at Ellie long after she'd left the clinic and as she lay in bed that night, eyes closed, yet sleep elusive. There was something about the complete faith he claimed to have in her that didn't jive with his refusal to accept her report.

Why do that, unless…

Her eyes sprang open and her stomach felt as though it dropped to her knees, as a thought came to her mind of another reason he would have for getting her out of the picture.

She knew what she had to do, the only thing she could do, if for no other reason than she was damned if she'd let anyone set her up and blackmail her, covertly or not.

And that was exactly what Clarence had done.