To Have and to Hold (Cactus Creek Cowboys) (6 page)

“Do you intend to make it your personal responsibility to make sure every woman is properly cared for?”

Colby turned to see Naomi approaching from behind.

“I came to see what was keeping you,” she said. “The boys are eager to eat.”

“You shouldn’t wait for me. I never know when I’ll have time to stop.”

“I realize you have important duties, but it’s essential to keep up your strength. Otherwise, how can you be an effective leader?”

Colby didn’t know what she was really thinking, but he was certain it was more than concern for his empty belly.

“Dad said you haven’t let him look at your wound today. What will we do if it gets infected, or you get sick and die?”

“I thought you wanted to get rid of me. Having me get sick and die would be one way to do it.” He’d hit a nerve. She looked angry and embarrassed. What was going on with this woman?

“Wishing you weren’t part of the train isn’t the same as wanting to get rid of you.”

“It sounds like it to me.”

“I’ve never wanted you to get sick or die, either. I’m not cruel.”

Now he’d upset her. “I never thought you were. What have you fixed to eat?”

She was only slightly mollified. “Beans cooked with pork, but I fixed spiced apples for dessert.”

“It sounds good. If the men have a successful hunt, you’ll have fresh meat for tonight.”

She thawed a little more. “I’ve never tasted antelope or buffalo. Is it good?”

“After a diet of beans and pork, it tastes wonderful. I’ll show you how to cook it.”

“I’ve never met a man who knew how to cook.”

“There are probably ten men to every woman out here. If we didn’t know how to cook, we’d starve.”

She couldn’t hide the hint of a grin. “Maybe I should be the guide, and you do the cooking.”

“Maybe I should let you help me guide, and Ethan can cook.”

She laughed easily. “The men in my family think it’s an insult to be asked to do anything in the kitchen except eat.”

“I thought you’d never get here,” Ben called out to Colby as he approached where the three Kessling men were having their midday meal. “Dad said we’d better not wait, that you had a lot of things you had to do. What were you doing?”

“Checking the wagons to make sure they didn’t need any repairs before our afternoon drive.”

“Why do you have to do that?”

“One broken-down wagon delays everybody.”

“See, I told you he’d make a great guide,” Ethan said to Naomi.

Colby turned to Naomi. “You thought I wouldn’t?”

Naomi was flustered. “That’s not what I said. I said we didn’t know whether you had the experience you said you had.”

“You think I would lie?”

She directed a nettled glance at Ethan. “One’s opinion of one’s own abilities can sometimes be exaggerated. And we know so little about what’s required to be a guide.”

“After a month on the trail, I’d say we know a good bit,” Ethan insisted.

“I’d say we’d all be a lot happier with more eating and less talking,” Dr. Kessler said.

“I haven’t said a thing,” Cassie whined. “I haven’t been given a chance.”

Colby had decided that everyone in the caravan should have joint responsibility for Cassie and her baby, each family taking her for a day in rotation. Naomi had volunteered to take the first day.

“You’ll have plenty of time to say whatever’s on your mind during the drive this afternoon,” Colby assured her.

“I want you to ride with me.”

“I have to ride ahead to find a suitable camp for the night. I’ve asked Ethan to ride with you.”

“He’s wounded.”

“So am I.”

“I forgot.” Cassie giggled. “You don’t act like it.”

“I doubt Colby has forgotten.” Naomi sounded out of patience. “He said it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.”

“Naomi Kessling!” her father exclaimed. “I never thought to hear such language from you.”

Naomi grinned at Colby. “I’m just repeating what he said.”

“That’s no excuse.” He turned to Colby. “I’d appreciate it if you refrained from using such language around my daughter.”

Colby threw an accusatory glance at Naomi, but she responded with a smirk. “She caught me at a moment when I wasn’t in a charitable mood.”

“She’d probably been telling you why she didn’t want you here,” Ben offered.

Colby pounced on the chance to give Naomi back some of her own. “She had. Quite pointedly, in fact.”

“Once again, I apologize for my daughter,” Dr. Kessling said to Colby. “She doesn’t always know when it’s best not to share all of her thoughts.”

“Don’t waste your time apologizing for me,” Naomi said, any trace of amusement gone. “You can’t change what I said. However, I will apologize to Colby for doubting him. According to everyone’s judgment, including mine, he’s doing an admirable job.”

“It’s only been one day so far,” Colby said. “I have plenty of time to reinforce your original opinion.”

“I think he’s wonderful,” Cassie said. “I’m going to try to talk him into taking me home.”

Finding himself the recipient of curious glances from all four Kesslings, Colby decided it was time to focus on eating. “I’ll have some of those beans, if you don’t mind,” he said to Naomi. “I’m looking forward to the spiced apples.”

“I don’t know how to make spiced apples,” Cassie said, “but Naomi has promised to show me.”

Colby decided that was something he’d do well to miss.

***

Naomi was out of charity with herself, her family, Colby, and everybody in the caravan except Cassie. That’s because she was furious with Cassie. Every time Colby came within ten feet of that girl—Naomi refused to call her a woman—Cassie made an overt and inexpert attempt to convince Colby to take her husband’s place.

“She acts like a strumpet,” she’d said to Ethan when they stopped for the night. “I can’t believe she would throw herself at a man with her husband dead less than two days.”

“She’s got no one to take care of her,” Ethan had said. “Colby would be perfect for her.”

Ethan sounded miserable at the prospect, and Naomi wondered just what her brother though of Cassie. She was young and pretty, which likely outweighed her callowness with Ethan. He was seventeen, young enough to become infatuated with the most inappropriate female of his acquaintance. Naomi was glad Norman and Sibyl would be responsible for Cassie tomorrow.

Despite the torrential storm of the previous night, when they reached Sand Creek it was dry. Colby set the boys old enough to handle a shovel digging for water. “We will reach the Cimarron tomorrow,” he’d told them, “but that might be dry, too.”

They’d driven until past eight o’clock, but no one had objected. The hunting party had shot a buffalo. Everyone was looking forward to fresh meat for supper. The teams had been unharnessed and put out to graze for the night. Already fires were going alongside every wagon.

“Buffalo meat is very lean,” Colby had told everyone. “Don’t cook it as much as you would beef, or it will be dry and tough.”

Naomi had held him to his promise to show her how to cook it properly. “I don’t want to take a chance of doing it wrong. The boys will never let me hear the end of it.”

“I’m not sure I can eat the meat of a wild animal,” Cassie said.

Naomi’s patience was running very low. “Cows, pigs, and chickens were wild animals before we locked them up in pens.”

“But that would make them taste different, wouldn’t it?”

Fortunately for Naomi’s evaporating patience, Cassie’s baby started to cry. She took him to her wagon to nurse.

“I need to look at your back,” Dr. Kessling said to Colby, “but don’t let that stop you from making sure Naomi doesn’t ruin the meat.”

“I’m not going to ruin it,” Naomi said.

“I hope not. I’m looking forward to my first taste of buffalo.”

“So are we.” Naomi looked up to see both her brothers had returned.

“We dug a long trench,” Ethan told Colby. “The water wasn’t far below the surface, so there ought to be plenty for the stock by morning.”

Ben came to watch Naomi. “Are you doing it right?” he asked. “It doesn’t smell cooked.”

“She’s doing fine,” Colby assured the boy. “Your sister is a great cook. We’ll have the best buffalo steaks of anybody.”

Naomi was sure Colby said that for Ben’s benefit, but she hoped he meant it. She’d given up trying to pretend she wasn’t intrigued by him. It infuriated her to see him succumb to Cassie’s whining at the same time it impressed her that he would make such an effort to help her endure tragedies that would have devastated any woman regardless of age. She was also impressed with his easygoing style of leadership despite being meticulous in every detail. He didn’t shout, threaten, or bully. He merely stated what needed to be done, designated who he wanted to do it, then moved on to the next issue. There was something about him that made people respect him. Even Norman Spencer, who normally questioned every decision that wasn’t his own, had accepted Colby’s authority.

Then there was the fact that he didn’t seem to be attracted to her. She wasn’t a vain woman, but she was used to having an effect on men. Colby treated her much like he did her brothers. Compared to the effort he made for Cassie, that piqued her vanity. Watching her cook buffalo steaks while her father tended his wound didn’t do much to settle her feathers. She still felt ignored. That wouldn’t have been so bad if she could have ignored
him
, but she couldn’t.

Drat. If she didn’t pay more attention to what she was doing, she was going to ruin this meat.

“I think they’re done,” Colby said.

“I was about to take them off,” she told him.

“I know.” He winked. “I just said that so Ben would think I knew what I was talking about.”

Why did he wink? What did it mean? He’d never done that before.

“Hurry up,” Ben said. “I’m hungry.”

“Hold out your plate.”

“Don’t let him grab the biggest steak,” Ethan warned. “Colby ought to have it.”

Naomi served six plates. “I’ll take Cassie’s to her,” Ethan volunteered.

“This is good,” Ben said, chewing vigorously. “When can we shoot another buffalo?”

“We have plenty of food without trying to slaughter all the wild animals,” his father said.

“One a day is not a lot,” Ben said.

Naomi appreciated Ben’s approval, but she needed to see Colby’s reaction before she could feel like she’d been successful. “Okay,” she prodded when he didn’t say anything. “Is it as good as Ben thinks?”

“It’s perfect. I knew it would be.”

“It had to be with you watching to make sure she didn’t burn it,” Ben said.

That took some of the shine off her pleasure, but it didn’t matter because Colby winked again. Heat suffused her face, and her stomach flipped over. All thoroughly uncomfortable.

“That wasn’t very generous of you,” Dr. Kessling said to his son. “We’re fortunate Naomi is a good cook. You’d be very unhappy if you had to survive on my cooking.”

“Colby could cook for us.” Ben fixed his adoring gaze on Colby.

“I’m sure he would,” his father said, “but he wasn’t around during the six years since your mother died.”

“He’s promised to leave us after La Junta,” Naomi reminded Ben.

Only after the words were out of her mouth did Naomi realize what she said.

“He didn’t
promise
,” Ben corrected. “He said he’d take us that far. He didn’t say he wouldn’t go any farther.”

“That was implied,” Naomi insisted.

“You could change your mind, couldn’t you?” Ben asked Colby.

“There’ll be plenty of trains from La Junta to Santa Fe. You could join one, or just follow.”

“Why won’t you take us to Santa Fe?” Ben asked.

“That’s none of our business,” his father said.

“But I like Colby. I don’t want him to go away. I—”

“Indians!”

The cry sent everyone scrambling for their weapons.

The cry came from Ethan. Cassie was having hysterics. Naomi grabbed her rifle and followed Colby to Cassie’s wagon.

“Where are they?” Colby asked.

“Over there.” Ethan pointed to a distant rise where Colby could see the head of an Indian above the tall grass that rippled in the breeze.

“Is he the only one?’

“No. I could see more before I jumped down from the wagon.”

“Hold your fire,” Colby called out.

“Why should we wait until they get closer?” someone asked.

“If these Indians had meant to attack us, we wouldn’t have seen them until they were on top of us.”

“I can see a lot more of them now.”

“They’re coming toward us.”

“They’re keeping their horses to a walk,” Colby pointed out, “so they don’t mean to attack. Keep your weapons ready,” he called out to the others, “but keep them out of sight.”

“What are you doing to do?” Naomi asked.

“Find out what they want.”

“Can you understand them?”

“Enough. If you work in Indian country, understanding what they want goes a long way toward avoiding conflict.” Colby turned to Ethan. “Can you do something to quiet Cassie? She’s liable to set folks’ nerves on edge.”

“I’ll try.”

“She’s lost her family to Indians,” Naomi reminded Colby. “You can’t expect her not to be frightened.”

“I understand, but she could make someone so nervous they’ll shoot one of these Indians. If that happens, they’ll come back with a war party and try to wipe us out.”

“I’ll go,” Dr. Kessling offered. “If necessary, I’ll give her a sedative.”

All the Indians were in plain sight now.

“I’ll go meet them,” Colby said to Naomi.

“If there is trouble, they’ll kill you first.”

“I’ll be okay as long as no one shoots. I’m depending on you to make sure everybody remains calm.”

Depend
on
her
to
make
sure
everyone
remained
calm!
Her heart was in her throat. How could she calm the fears of anyone else? Suppose this was a trick to get them to relax, let down their guard. What if more Indians were waiting out of sight? They were staring hard at the wagons as though trying to see something out of sight. That made Naomi uneasy. What did they have that the Indians were so curious about?

“Ben, run and tell everybody what Colby said. They’re not to shoot no matter what happens. If they do, they’ll kill Colby.”

Ben took off like a shot, shouting his message as he sprinted past each wagon.

“What’s Colby doing?”

Norman Spencer had come up behind her. His rifle was leveled at the closest Indian who was sniffing the air.

“Colby says there won’t be any trouble unless someone shoots one of these Indians. If they do, Colby says the Indians will come back determined to wipe us out.”

“How can he know that?”

“He’s lived in this part of the country his whole life. He said he could understand some of their language.”

“How can a decent person understand their heathenish gibberish?”

Naomi was surprised by how much Norman’s words offended her. “I suppose our language sounds like gibberish to them, or the French, the Germans, the Italians, the Span—”

“What he’s doing is irresponsible. What will happen to us if they kill him?”

Naomi turned away from Norman and looked to where Colby had come to a stop in front of the nearest Indian. The man was speaking to Colby, making expansive gestures, pointing in first one direction and then another. Most often, however, he pointed straight at Naomi’s wagon.

“It looks like he’s asking Colby something about us,” she said. “He doesn’t seem upset, just curious.”

Norman’s grip on his rifle tightened. “He’s probably trying to get close enough to see how many of us there are. Then they’ll come back and kill us.”

Naomi didn’t answer because Colby was talking. She couldn’t understand anything he said, but he was pointing down their back trail.

“What’s he saying?” Norman asked.

Naomi didn’t bother to explain that she couldn’t understand what Colby was saying any more than Norman could. “He’ll tell us when he gets back.”

“If he gets back.”

Ben came running up, breathless with excitement. “I told everybody. I said I’d shoot them myself if they got Colby killed.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Norman said.

“Colby’s my friend,” Ben insisted. “I won’t let anybody hurt him.”

Naomi didn’t bother to listen to Norman’s response. He was acting just as immature as Ben. With his bandaged face and black eye, he looked comical. Two more Indians came up to Colby. He lowered his rifle enough to indicate their back trail then added a sweeping motion to the north. Naomi didn’t know how he could appear so calm. He could have been talking to anybody.

“Why’s he taking so long?” Norman asked.

“It doesn’t matter how long he takes as long as it means all of us will be safe.”

Only a short time had passed, but the tension made it seem longer. No one had told her Indians could be friendly. All she’d ever heard was that Indians were savages who wanted to kill all white people. The Indian attack two days ago had reinforced that lesson in a manner that was impossible to forget. She couldn’t convince herself that these men wouldn’t suddenly transform into maniacal killers like the ones who’d killed Abe and Toby.

How could Colby find the courage to walk out there and talk to them like it was nothing out of the ordinary? What kind of man was he? She had underestimated him, but how could she have known? The leaders in Spencer’s Clearing had been Norman Spencer and Tom Hale. Next to Colby, they looked like mere imitations.

The Indians had finished talking. They exchanged signals she didn’t understand. When Colby stepped back, the Indians turned and headed off to the northeast. Colby didn’t turn back to the wagons until the last Indian was out of sight.

Norman Spencer didn’t wait for Colby to speak before he asked, “What did they want?”

“Why did they keep pointing at us?” Naomi asked.

“I’ve heard they like to capture white women,” Norman said. “They could have been pointing at you.”

“Don’t let gossip cause you to make a dangerous mistake,” Colby said. “They were pointing at us because they were attracted by the smell of the steaks we’re all enjoying. They wanted to know where we found the buffalo. They’ve been hunting without success.”

“What did you tell them?” Norman’s tone and expression indicated suspicion.

“I told them we sent a hunting party north about ten miles back. It was only a small herd so it was easy to miss it. I also warned them about the Comanche war party.”

“You warned Indians about Indians?”

“Not all Indian tribes are friendly with each other. They don’t want to get killed any more than we do. Now everybody ought to get back to their food before it gets cold.” He suddenly smiled. “They also wanted to know if one of our women was having a baby. I don’t think they’ve ever heard a woman having hysterics.”

Norman turned and stalked away. Everyone else returned to their wagons, but the mood wasn’t as lighthearted as before.

“What’s wrong with Norman?” Colby asked Naomi as they returned to food that hadn’t completely gone cold.

“He’s not used to having someone else know all the answers, especially when he doesn’t know most of the questions. Having his face smashed by Frank Oliver makes his pretensions look even more ridiculous.”

Colby laughed. “You have a sharp tongue when you want to use it. How do I get on your good side?”

“You ought to hear her when she gets mad at me,” Ben volunteered.

Naomi felt herself grow warm. “You’re not on my bad side. I just had my reasons for questioning whether you should be our guide.”

“At the time, it didn’t sound like a question to me. It seemed very definite.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I no longer have any doubts about your knowledge of the trail or your ability to keep us out of trouble.”

“But you still have the other objections?”

How did she answer that? She had passed the point of merely finding him attractive. In a remarkably short time, she’d come to admire him, be intrigued by him, want to know more about him. He seemed to have a solution for every problem. Nothing threw him off stride, not even when she refused to go back to her wagon during the rainstorm. He’d simply picked her up and taken her there. She could still remember the strength of his arms, the heat from his body despite the cold rain and fierce wind. How could she regain her peace of mind as long as he was around?

The army uniform still worried her. She didn’t know the real reason they had had to leave Spencer’s Clearing, but she was certain it had something to do with the Union Army. Someone in their small community had done something that had put everybody else in danger. She couldn’t discount the possibility that Colby had been sent by the Union Army to discover who’d committed the crime. It had to be something truly dreadful to force all twelve families to leave their homes and livelihoods behind and start for the newly formed Arizona Territory, which they knew nothing about. At least three families were still bitter. She didn’t know if that wound would ever heal.

“I admit it’s unfair,” Naomi said, “but I’m not going to explain my objections.”

“Do others share your concerns?”

“I expect so, but they’re too afraid of being abandoned to say so.”

“But you aren’t afraid of being abandoned.”

“Of course I am. I think we ought to go back. We shouldn’t have left in the first place.”

“Why did you leave?”

There was no way around this question. Either she could ignore it, or she could answer him truthfully. “I don’t know, but I’m sure it’s not the reason I was given.”

“It’s no use asking Dad or Ethan,” Ben said. “Ethan doesn’t know and Dad won’t say.”

“Is this about the person you’re afraid might be following you?” Colby asked Naomi.

“Yes.”

Ben lifted his gaze from his food long enough to state quite casually, “Naomi thinks it might be you.”

Colby stared at Ben for a moment before slowly returning his gaze to Naomi. His eyes were stormy, his lips tightly compressed. “I told you I’m no longer in the army, that I’m wearing this uniform because I don’t have any other clothes, and that I’m not following you. Do you think I’m lying?”

“Of course she doesn’t,” Ben said.

“No one but your sister can answer that question.”

He had reduced the issue to one simple question: did she believe he was telling the truth?

Oddly enough she believed him despite being unable to get rid of her fears. “I’m sure you would lie if you thought it was necessary—”

Ben didn’t let her finish. “Everybody does that.”

“—but I don’t think you’ve lied to us…or to me.”

Colby’s grim expression gradually relaxed. “A fair evaluation.”

“I don’t see anything so special about that,” Ben observed. “Can I ride next to you tomorrow?”

***

“I don’t know how to ride a horse,” Naomi told Colby the next morning. “I wouldn’t know how to get on one.”

Colby looked at Naomi in disbelief. “You’ve never even been on a horse?”

“There was no need. If something wasn’t in walking distance, one of the men would go after it. If I had to go a long distance, I’d go in the wagon or a buggy.”

Coming to a decision, Colby said, “Leave the driving to Ben. You have to go with me.”

“That’s boring,” Ben complained. “Those dumb old oxen don’t need me to tell them to follow the wagon in front of them.”

“Well it’s not fair to make Naomi do all the boring jobs.”

“How about Ethan?”

“He’s helping Norman with Cassie and her baby. Do you want to change with him?”

Ben showed a typical twelve-year-old’s horror at having anything to do with a young mother and her baby. “I’ll drive today, but I want to ride tomorrow.”

“That depends on how Naomi’s riding lessons go. Out here a woman has to know how to ride. Her life could depend on it.”

Ben made a disgusted sound but didn’t argue. “I guess I’d better see to the oxen,” he said. “A man’s got to be sure his team’s harnessed good and proper.” He strode away with a swagger that brought a smile to Naomi’s lips.

“He seems an easygoing boy,” Colby said.

“Most of the time. It’s not really necessary that I know how to ride,” she insisted. “One of the boys is always around.”

“The boys will grow up and move away. You’ll get married and have your own family.”

“Then my husband will do the riding for me.”

“What if he’s injured? Or he’s away and one of the children gets sick?”

“I’ll have a buggy or a wagon.”

“Some of the country is too rough for either one.”

“I expect I’ll live in town. I probably won’t need to ride at all.”

Colby gave her an appraising look. “Are you afraid of horses?”

“Of course not.”

His eyebrows arched. “Are you afraid of me?”

His question surprised her. “Why would I be afraid of you?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I asked.”

The breakfast dishes were wiped clean and everything put away. There was nothing to keep Naomi from looking at Colby when she answered. “I’d rather not spend a whole day with you. I don’t want to give people a reason to gossip.”

“I spent half of yesterday riding next to Cassie with her making eyes at me. As far as I know, no one is gossiping about her.”

“I’m the oldest unmarried woman in this train. That’s all the reason anyone needs to start a rumor.”

“I’m surprised you’d let idle chatter keep you from doing something that might one day save your life. I thought you had more backbone than that.”

Naomi knew he was goading her, but she couldn’t back down from the challenge. “I’ve never let gossip keep me from doing what I thought was right or important. If you think it’s essential that I know how to ride, then I’ll learn. I don’t have a horse, and I don’t have a sidesaddle. What are you going to do about that?”

“You can use Ethan’s horse, but you don’t need a saddle. Indians never use one, and they’re the best horsemen I’ve ever seen.”