To Say I Love You (22 page)

W
E
WAITED
until we were both home before discussing the threesome again. By that time, I’d really gotten into the idea and was hoping we could find a guy who would let us both top him. We didn’t bottom for anyone other than each other.

It took a few drafts until we were happy with the ad. Not having done it this way before, I’d done some research to make sure what we wanted was out there, and in Atlanta.

The site said to add pictures to increase the chances of a response, so Will and I took our shirts off and stood in front of the mirror, then took a photo of our bare chests and stomachs. No faces, for obvious reasons. No dick shots because we were classy.

Horny top couple (29 & 30) looking for willing bottom. You: midthirties or younger, fit, healthy. Must be NEG and have recent STD check. ATL or close by. Will host.

“Looks good to me,” Will said.

I hesitated for a moment, then clicked the button to send the message out to the world.

It turned out we didn’t have anything to worry about; within an hour, messages started to filter through.

We had to pick through the e-mails I’d set up to come to a dummy e-mail account. There were plenty of people who clearly just responded to anything, and I deleted pictures of older, overweight, balding guys who obviously had decided to take their chances. I was sure they were lovely people, but they weren’t my type.

“How about this guy?” Will called.

I brought two sodas over and sat down next to him.

The guy who had responded to us was a bit older than I’d thought we’d go for—late thirties, older than both of us. He was clean-cut, his profile picture showing firm but not bulging muscles and lightly tanned skin.

I read through the profile as Will sat back with his soda: liked to play, mostly bottom but flexible, always safe, wanted to party, some recreational drugs. Since we were planning on getting a hotel room, that wasn’t on the table, but I didn’t care if he smoked pot.

“No BDSM,” I read.

“I’ve got no intention of tying him up,” Will said lightly.

“Sounds good, then. Do you want me to reply to him?”

“Yeah. You’re better with words than I am.”

It didn’t take long to compose my response, a basic outline of where we wanted to meet and when.

A week later (before either party could lose their nerve), we met Ben in the lobby of a downtown hotel. Not the hotel Will usually got a room in. He wanted to continue staying there, and we didn’t like the idea of one of the staff seeing us with a third.

The lobby was L-shaped, meaning we could find a seat round the corner from the bar and we would be out of sight of anyone sitting there. It was another reassurance of anonymity, for us and for Ben.

He’d arrived first and was nursing a beer. I recognized him from his picture and was relieved that it seemed to be recent.

“Hi,” I said, approaching him and shaking his hand. “I’m Jesse.”

“Hey.”

As Will did the same, I looked Ben over. He was cute. He obviously took good care of himself; his light brown hair was freshly cut, and there was a friendly twinkle in his green-brown eyes.

“Do you want another?” Will offered, nodding to Ben’s drink.

“Sure. Thanks.”

“Jess?” he asked, softer this time.

“Same.”

He squeezed my arm surreptitiously before leaving.

It was weird for a moment, being left alone with this guy, knowing the reason we were all here was to get down and fuck each other. Before that, though, we had agreed to chat, to make sure we all knew the rules and what we wanted out of it.

“Are you local?” I asked, leaning back on one of the deep leather sofas.

“Sort of,” Ben said. “I live about an hour out of the city. But I grew up in Louisiana.”

I could hear the accent in his voice. It was adorable.

“I grew up out in the country a couple hours from here. Will works in the city a few days a week, that’s why….”

“I get it,” he said with a grin. “It’s easier to meet somewhere impersonal the first time.”

First and last time. We didn’t do repeats, but Ben didn’t need to know that.

“That was quick,” I said as Will passed me a beer over my shoulder and one to Ben.

“There’s no one here. It’s not that busy tonight.”

He sat down next to me, and there was an awkward moment of silence before Ben dug in his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.

“Just to get it out of the way,” he mumbled. “Those are my tests. To show I’m clean.”

“Oh,” Will said, and handed him our results from earlier in the year. We’d both gotten full screenings when we had our yearly checkups, even though we rarely played with anyone else.

I looked over the paper but made it quick, wanting him to know it mattered but we trusted him. It all looked fine, and I grinned.

“One down,” I said.

He laughed. “I’m guessing you guys have rules.”

This was Will’s territory. I looked at him, hoping he’d pick up the conversation.

“We don’t bottom for anyone else,” he said easily and took a swig of his beer. “And we don’t do drugs or whatever.”

“I’m not on anything,” Ben said. “Other than a couple of these.” He held up the beer.

“It takes the edge off. I don’t blame you,” I said. “Do you….”

“Come here often?” he joked. “I don’t do relationships. I mean, it works for other guys, and all the best to them. But I don’t want that. I’m not out to my family, and I won’t come out until after they’re dead and in the ground. I’ve seen what happens to other guys in that town who dared to be gay, and I’m not gonna let that happen to me.”

His words struck a nerve, not that he could know about my circumstances. I couldn’t blame him for the way he thought, though. A lot of places down South were still homophobic, especially outside the bigger cities.

“So I hook up with guys I meet online, like you two, who want some fun and will be safe with it.”

“It sounds like we want the same things,” Will said. “Anything you want to ask us?”

“How big is your dick?” Ben said immediately.

I laughed. “Big enough,” I told him.

“You wanna go upstairs?”

“Yeah.”

T
HE
ROOM
had a king-size bed, and even if there was nothing sexual going on, it was easily big enough for three people to sleep in. Will had checked into the hotel earlier in the day and had stocked the nightstand with a box of condoms and plenty of lube. The main lights in the room were off. Instead, a few lamps cast a gentle light.

“Do you have any problem with kissing?” Ben asked, shrugging out of his jacket, looking shy once more.

Will shook his head, so I crossed the short distance and pulled Ben into a soft kiss. It quickly turned into something more—his lips on my neck, his hands pulling at my shirt, undoing the buttons with unsteady fingers.

Between the two of them, my shirt was pulled off quickly and discarded on a desk, and Will started to kiss my back and shoulders. I hadn’t planned to be the filling in this three-man sandwich, but if they were going to put me there, I had no problem with that.

In fact, as they started to tug at my pants and I toed out of my shoes, I decided being in the middle was actually a good thing. Then Will started to roll my nipples between his fingers, and it became a
very
good thing.

Ben started to mouth my crotch, sucking my cock through my underwear and making me squirm under Will’s hands. I pulled him back to his feet before I could do anything stupid and helped him out of his shirt. I wanted to know what was underneath.

Tattoos. Dark lines and swirls of ink I didn’t have the light or the imagination to interpret. Golden, tanned skin. Dusky pink nipples. Will spread his fingers over my chest, and I pressed my palms to Ben’s, absorbing some of his heat.

In a tangle of limbs, we fell to the bed, the last of our clothes kicked off somewhere around the room. Will’s kisses were familiar to me, and in between my exploration of Ben’s body, I searched them out as my own kind of reassurance.

“I wanna watch this,” I mumbled as Will licked over Ben’s hip bones.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m just gonna….”

There was a chair in the corner of the room, perfectly placed to watch the two of them. I leaned back and scooted my ass to the front of the seat, then kicked one leg over the arm of the chair.

“Comfortable?” Will asked with a laugh. He was slowly pumping Ben’s cock, making Ben’s eyes flutter.

“Very. This is like live porn.”

He grinned at me, then leaned down and swallowed Ben’s cock to the root. I knew exactly how that felt, and found myself watching Will more than the object of his attention as I slowly fondled my balls.

Will was beautiful like this, absorbed in another man’s body. I didn’t care that it wasn’t mine; that didn’t matter for some reason. I was thrilled at how he looked from this angle, all long, lean muscles and sensuous moves. His pert little ass was thrust up in the air, the position almost begging for me to go and taste it.

Scratch that. This was better than live porn. It was watching Will fuck, which was better than any porn movie ever made.

“Fuck me,” Ben groaned, and I thought,
Yeah, fuck him.

Will glanced at me, one final look to make sure I was okay with what he was about to do. I gave him a little nod and squeezed my balls to take the edge off. Will poured a generous amount of lube onto his hand, then tossed me the bottle.

“Thanks,” I said with a laugh and helped myself, making my jerking off all the better for the slipperiness.

For a few minutes, I watched, enjoying my perfect vantage point as Will pushed one finger, then two into Ben’s hole, then rolled on a condom with slippery fingers. He pulled Ben’s leg up so his ankle was resting on Will’s shoulder, and leaned forward, folding the other man in half.

I was chewing my bottom lip so hard I could taste blood, and I was barely aware of my hand on my cock as Will pushed into Ben.

Ben was looking at me, rather than at Will. Or maybe he was just looking—his eyes were unfocused and he was making the most amazing noises. We’d had sex with other men before, but this was a whole other level.

“Holy shit,” Ben groaned. I guessed Will had bottomed out because he looked a bit unsteady too.

“Good?” I asked.

“He’s fucking massive,” Ben said.

I laughed a little breathlessly. “Yeah. It’s amazing, right?”

His answer was stolen by a sharp thrust of Will’s hips.

The lamps in the room cast erotic shadows on the walls as they moved together, the man I loved and a total stranger. Even though Ben was clearly a handsome and enigmatic man, I couldn’t seem to focus on him, instead watching Will in a way I’d never seen him before. Our previous threesomes had always involved, well, three of us at once. This was new. I didn’t hate it.

After a few minutes of Will fucking like a god, I couldn’t stand not touching him any longer. Abandoning my comfortable slouch, I moved to stand behind him, moving my hands over his back and shoulders, down his arms, while I nibbled on the inside of Ben’s ankle.

“Jesse,” Will murmured, tilting his head back when I moved my attentions to the side of his neck instead.

“Hm?”

“Condom.”

For a moment, I wondered what he meant; he was already wearing one. Then I realized he wanted me to suit up, to swap places. I bit down on his shoulder, making him falter in his rhythmic thrusting.

I hadn’t used one of these things in years, and it took me a moment to get it on properly. Ben was watching me with undisguised desire as Will moved away, tossed the condom, and lay down next to Ben, stroking himself.

“How do you like it?” I asked, a question borne of concern for my partner rather than an attempt at dirty talk.

“Hard,” Ben said with a dirty grin.

I pressed my fingers against his hole, already soft and slick from Will’s previous efforts. Ben licked his lips.

He didn’t need to be stretched, Will had done that for me, so I guided my cock to his hole and moaned as I thrust into his delicious heat. Wrapping my arms around his thighs, I breathed deeply until I could fuck him and still be in control of myself. Having Will next to me made it better, easier—it was probably a shitty thing to do, but I was looking at him while I was fucking Ben.

Not that Ben seemed to care. He had his dick in his hand and was rubbing the top third with short, jerky thrusts, the same thing I did when I was on the verge of coming.

So I wasn’t surprised when he groaned and came all over his wrist.

I was almost disappointed he hadn’t lasted longer, and did the polite thing and pulled out of him carefully, disposing of the condom. I stroked my cock a few times, roughly, wanting to get there myself.

“Don’t stop on my behalf,” Ben said with a grin. I trailed my fingers over the soft skin that covered his cock. I was surprised to find him still hard.

I raised an eyebrow at him. “Little blue pill?”

“Half of one,” he said. “Just enough to keep me going.”

I laughed shortly and wondered if I wanted one too. Before I could decide, Will pulled me down onto the bed next to him.

“I want you,” he growled. I nodded. Of course.

While Ben propped himself on the pillows, lazily touching himself with apparently no desire to take his arousal anywhere, Will arranged me on my back, legs spread, arms reaching for him.

He didn’t prep me, just smoothed a condom over his cock and covered it in lube, then settled between my thighs.

It took a while for him to ease into me all the way. He gave me time to adjust between each careful thrust, and even though I knew his body well, I needed that time to accept his length. It wasn’t sex like we had at home; it was less intimate than that. He held himself away from me on straight arms and watched his cock disappear into my ass each time.

By the time we were both warmed up, I was grunting with every thrust and wishing we’d set the air con at a cooler temperature. Sweat tickled down my back and belly, but I couldn’t bear to do anything that would take the sexy flush and glow from Will’s cheeks.