Tomorrow Will Be Too Late (17 page)

‘What’s the project?’
he
asked, determined to find out more. When she spoke about it, he could sense a small crack in her otherwise
seamless
facade
,
something
holding the key to explaining this unholy mess. ‘
Are
you going abroad again, to some men
-
lacking place?’

‘Something like that
.
’
S
he wasn’t budging, her lovely mouth tightening momentarily before she answered. ‘I know you’re leaving for Africa soon, Justin. It would be the perfect opportunity to have some fun with no strings attached on either side. I always thought that men liked that type of arrangement
.
’

Most
did, that much was true. Especially when the woman offering a sex
-
only relationship looked like a goddess, he
thought
wryly, surprised with his own reluctance to jump on the chance to live out his fantasy. Because if he was totally honest, wasn’t
that
exactly what kept him awake in his erotic dreams for the last two years? It was Kate’s face and body that he craved, one short taste of her sweetness not enough to satisfy his hunger.

‘I know you must be wondering what brought
about
this change
,
’ she
said
, her eyes veiled and pensive. ‘I… I just decided that this was something I wanted to do
,
and that it’s worth trying. If it makes it any better, I haven’t ever done anything even remotely similar in the past. You’d be my first
-
time experiment.’

It did make it better, he thought,
his confusion making
room
for some
sense of
joy
that she didn’t walk around offering her body to men. She could be lying, of
course. But something told him
she
wasn’t
, if only because of her total honesty about their
future
relationship.
She had
no reason to cover up for her past when he held no rights to her actions or loyalty.

‘How exactly would it work?’
h
e
asked, knowing already that his battle was lost, the ship sunk and at the bottom of the ocean. He wanted her more than he was willing to admit, even to himself. Especially to himself. ‘I
’
m pretty sure you have it all planned out,
Kate
.’

‘I do
.
’
S
he nodded again, her dark hair smooth and silky in the deliberately disarrayed French chignon, a few wavy strands escaping the pins and resting against the creamy skin of her bare shoulders. ‘It’s two weeks to the wedding, plus
we have
the weekend.
T
hat leaves us with a
decent amount of time
for a
no
-
strings
-
attached relationship, Justin.
Afterward,
you go to your project in
Tunisia
and I…
’
Her
voice faltered momentarily, and she swallowed, trying to regain her composure
.
‘I have my own plans. I don’t expect us to stay in touch afterward
.
T
hat’s my only condition.’

He was insane to even hesitate, he scolded himself as he watched her with hooded eyes. Wasn’t it every man’s dream come true?
He had to think of all his friends and could almost hear their laughter if they found out he was even considering refusing her offer.

Still, there was more to the story
than
she was telling him here, he could sense it. The way her voice shook just now, as she spoke of her own plans. Why, it
almost sounded as
if she w
ere in some kind of trouble.

‘I thought we could go out and spend a few nights together, whenever we feel like it
.
’
S
he was calm again, her emotions tightly under control. ‘It would make our romance much more believable to all of your friends when we go for the weekend, Justin. So you see, you’ve got nothing to lose.’ She looked at him expectantly, her eyebrows
raised
in a silent question. ‘
Unless
you were just humoring me before?’

‘Pardon?’
H
is brain was totally frozen, her simple question leaving him confused. ‘
About
what?’

‘
Wanting
me, of course.’ Long curly eyelashes lowered over her eyes, veiling her expression and making it impossible to guess what she was really thinking. ‘
So
, what it’s going to be, Justin?’

Never
in his life
had he
face
d
an ultimatum even remotely
like
what
had just
happened here, at the restaurant’s table. Was it even for real? He had to fight the sudden urge to pinch himself, the surreal feeling of living out one of his dreams way too real to be instantly dismissed.

‘
Well, let’s do it then. It’s not every
day I
’
m offered so much pleasure with so
few
expectations.’

Did she just sigh with relief, or was it just his wishful thinking? He gestured to the waiter hovering nearby and ordered a bottle of champagne, his grin widening as he saw her blush. So
,
she wasn’t all that worldly and immune
,
after all. He watched her lift the glass, the pale golden liquid sparkling
like trapped sunlight
in the artificial light of the lamps.

‘To us,
Kate
.
’
H
e smiled at her, his eyes challenging. ‘
To
a very productive friendship.’

She nodded as she sipped the bubbly champagne, hiding her face in the glass for a moment
. When she looked up, a small smile
was
on her face,
her
hazel eyes light and open.

‘To us,’ she answered. ‘
To
whatever the
coming
weeks might bring.’

She
had done
it! She
had
actually followed it through, however impossible it seemed.

Kate cast a cautious sidewise glance at the man driving the sleek two
-
seater, his attention totally a
bsorbed by the busy evening traffic.
She still couldn’t believe she had
had
enough guts to do what she had thought of after her visit
to
the doctor. It
had not been
well thought t
h
rough
,
by any means. Not like pretty much everything
else
she did in her life: pondered for days and picked apart to make sure her decision was right.
This
madness that
had taken
hold of her as the stabbing pain of panic
settled
in in the doctor’s parking lot had nothing to do with reason or logic. She was afraid she would die without knowing what she was missing, she thought miserably. She would disappear without giving herself a chance to experience what her sister referred to as total bliss in her cheeky borderline
-
inappropriate revelations.

She could just imagine Alice’s face
if she
admitted
that for years
she had
n’t
been close enough to any man to actually consider having sex.
After a rather disappointing experience with her first serious boyfriend in the last year of high school
,
she
had
felt little
,
if
any
,
temptation
to repeat the whole business. Being dumped
,
after he called her
a
prude and old
-
fashioned
,
still smarted ten years later.

True, she
hadn’t been
ready for the rather risky explorations he had in mind, but she had thought that their relationship was stronger than being based solely on sex.
Afterward,
she had decided to concentrate on her career and leave her love life safely tucked away and waiting for better times. She
hadn’t
regret
ted
it at all, too busy to really miss
that
part of her life.

Well, she had to correct that one, she thought as she remembered Justin’s mouth, hard and mobile on
her lips
, the shiver of excitement she felt finally making her believe she was able to respond in kind. He was the only man she had
ever truly
wanted, the only one who had what it took to
make her blood boil
with
heat hot enough to melt her defenses.

Maybe if he
hadn’t called
her while she was still dazed from her horrid appointment, things would have turned out differently. Maybe she would have had a chance to cool down and gather her wits, instead of
becoming a
panicky, terrified stranger who mourned the loss of something that wasn’t even there.

As it was, he
had
call
ed
. Suddenly all else
had been
forgotten, her burning wish to be with him and touch him leaving little place for common sense or even decency. Being around him meant life and excitement, even if he didn’t think much of her as a person. She didn’t need him to really like her, she thought frantically as she plotted her impossible plan
—j
ust to allow herself this short reprieve, before the unavoidable was to happen. She needed to make some memories before she was too sick and to
o
tired to care about anything but the comfort of her hospital bed.

She had to act fast, before the other, sensible
Kate
caught up with her and managed to make her see how insane she really was.
She had
a rather small window of opportunity, she decided, ignoring the tentative tendrils of doubt rising inside her soul. She would see him today and get it over with, making it impossible to back out, however disgusted she might feel with herself the next morning
.

Now, hours later, the horrid deed
had been
done, much to her inner amazement. It was easier than she
had expected
, she mused, still riding on the wave of adrenaline that c
o
ursed through her veins. Her bravado got her the prize
, the dark clouds parting momentarily as she imagined
not having to be alone with her gloomy
thoughts
.

She would manage to make it all work, she repeated to herself silently as they wove their way through the
well-lit
, busy streets. The way Justin had already planned for his future made it almost too easy. He would be out of the picture before she had to give in to the sickness that was silently eating her away on the inside, his absence as convenient as if she had preplanned it herself.

Justin
had
invited her to his house for a
nightcap
,
as he called it, her gut telling her it was meant as a kind of a test to see how serious she really was about her offer. Maybe he thought she would chicken out and come up with some excuse, exposing her doubts and hesitation. Maybe he even hoped she would, she thought now, as she glanced at his profile illuminated by the lights of the cars approaching from the opposite direction.

‘If you’re wondering if I’m regretting my decision, I’m not
.
’
Somehow
or other, he must have read her mind, his head turning momentarily and allowing him to look at her properly with amused eyes. ‘
I’m not saying that I’m not puzzled by the unexpected twist in our relationship, but regret isn’t one of the emotions I would use to describe my state right now.’

His hand left the wheel and came to rest on her hands, folded neatly in her lap. It was a fleeting touch, barely a second or so, before his fingers returned to the wheel, his expression calm and serene. Still, it was enough to awake
n
all the nerve endings under her skin, her breath catching as she felt his fingers lazily scraping against the soft skin of her hand. His touch was warm and reassuring,
probably meant to calm her
,
as he must have noticed her frazzled nerves. She was glad he couldn’t really see the way his innocent gesture ignited the slow fire deep inside her, flames of desire licking along her flesh with an intensity that she thought long forgotten.