Too Far to Whisper (20 page)

Rosalind stifled a groan at the thought of having to move from her cozy spot near the hearth to venture back out into the night and hike the two kilometers to Adam’s brother’s house. The day’s events already had exhausted her to the point of near collapse.

“How will you calm the captain when he does not find Rosalind here?” Shadow asked Adam. “No doubt the man will be furious.”

“I shall tell him that his bold display of ungentlemanly behavior this eve caused Rosalind to have serious misgivings about journeying home alone with him…so she decided to enlist the aid of a guide and start back home without any further delay.”

Rosalind stared bewilderedly at him. “I thought you were going to tell him that Shadow snatched me away?”

“I was,” Adam said, but the more I considered it, during my seemingly endless hours of waiting for your return this eve, the more I thought the story would not entirely convince Nathaniel. He would wonder how Shadow knew to find you here, and why I did not use my knife on him, the way I so nearly used it on him when I saw the two of you together.”

“You threatened Nathaniel with a knife?” Shadow asked.

“Aye, and I would gladly have used it!” Adam collected his thoughts before he turned to look at Rosalind and said, “If Nathaniel believes that you and a guide are journeying back to Eastwell, he will hasten off in that direction, attempting to catch up with you. When he arrives home and discovers that you and your guide never made it back, he will likely think that Shadow, or even another savage or savages ambushed you during your journey. ‘Tis much more likely for you to encounter danger out in the woods than here, in the shelter of my home.”

Rosalind carefully considered his words. “You do make sense,” she said. “And Nathaniel unwittingly gave me the perfect reason to go off without him after the way he tried to force himself upon me this eve.”

Shadow scowled at the mention of Nathaniel’s behavior. He did not even wish to speculate what had – or very nearly had – occurred between the captain and Rosalind, for the mere thought enraged him. “Do not be so certain Nathaniel will think his actions improper,” Shadow said. “The man holds no respect for women. I have witnessed it myself…at the Corwins’ pond.”

Rosalind stared at him. “What do you mean?”

Shadow ignored her question, not wishing to discuss Nathaniel and the buxom red-haired woman he had seem him naked with. “Let us not delay any longer,” he said, rising from his seat. “I think we should heed Adam’s advice and stay at his brother’s house until we decide upon a definite plan.” He frowned at Rosalind’s dress. “Go change into something proper and we shall be on our way. We already have delayed far too long.”

* * * * *

The night air was cool and the forest quiet as Shadow and Rosalind walked side by side, their path illuminated only by the moon. The day’s events had unfolded so rapidly, Rosalind had been afforded too little time to consider her actions. Now, in the calm of the night, the impact of what she had done – and was about to do – fully struck her. With heavy disappointment she recalled how unemotional her shipboard reunion with Shadow had been – a far cry from the passionate welcome she so eagerly had anticipated. He had not even kissed her! In truth¸ Rosalind thought Shadow had seemed more irritated than pleased by her arrival. Even when she had confessed how much she longed to be with him, he had not reciprocated in any way. A pang of doubt stabbed at Rosalind as she considered all she had sacrificed to be with Shadow. Had she made a grave mistake? Even now, he was acting as if she were invisible. He had not spoken a word since they left Adam’s house, nor favored her with more than a slight glance. It was becoming frighteningly apparent to Rosalind that Adam’s observations may have been wrong.  Shadow did not really love her at all.

With a deepening sense of apprehension, Rosalind reminded herself that it was not too late to turn back, to keep her appointment with Nathaniel at daybreak, if she so desired.  Adam had warned her that the decision she made on this night would forever alter her future.

If only she could be certain she had made the right one…

CHAPTER TWELVE

“What do you mean she is not here!” Nathaniel angrily demanded as he stood in Adam’s house the next morning. “For what purpose would she leave in the dead of night? It makes no sense!”

“Aye, it does make sense,” Adam, unfazed by the younger man’s outburst, responded. “After your behavior last night, Rosalind thought it best not to make the journey alone with you.” He had to confess, as he eyed the captain, that he was quite handsome when cleaned up and groomed – a vast difference from his unkempt appearance the night before.

“If she was so opposed to being alone with me, why did she not wait here and confess her feelings to me instead of running off in the night?  I would have understood and arranged for a third party to accompany us back. ‘Twas extremely inconsiderate of her to desert me without even the courtesy of an explanation!”

“She saw no reason to delay her departure,” Adam said, “especially since the man I engaged to escort her was willing to leave within the hour.”

“What kind of man did you send her off with? Only a fool would depart on a journey in the dead of night, especially with a young woman!”

“Perhaps.” Adam’s eyes narrowed. “But obviously Rosalind thought him to be a safer traveling companion than you!”

Nathaniel opened his mouth, as if to deliver an angry response, then appeared to think against it. Sighing, he shook his head. “Granted, I was a bit too forward with Rosalind last eve,” he said tightly. “But surely you, a man, can understand the reasons why. I had been away at sea for a fortnight and then returned to be told Rosalind had been dragged away by a savage! When I finally found her, my emotions…my passion…overtook me. Any man would have reacted in the same manner.”

“And do you suppose ‘any man’ also would have selfishly ignored the woman’s protests and still attempted to force his affections upon her?” he asked him.  “And now you stand here wondering why your betrothed was so eager to be gone ere your arrival?”

Nathaniel’s lips formed a taut line. “I shall apologize to Rosalind when we are once again reunited,” he said. “But all that matters now is that I keep my promise to her that we shall never be separated again. How long ago did she depart from here?”

“Three, perhaps four hours.”

“If I leave posthaste, I should have no problem catching up with her and her escort.” He turned toward the door, then paused to crisply add, “Thank you for your time, Mr. Stoddard.”

“Godspeed,” Adam said in a voice that lacked sincerity. A satisfied smile curved his lips as he watched Nathaniel rush off down the path, eager to begin his futile journey. Rosalind had indeed made a wise choice, he thought. He held no doubt that her place was with Shadow.

* * * * *

After spending the night on a quilt in front of the hearth, Shadow left at daybreak to hunt for game. Rosalind had slept so soundly, she had not heard him leave, and was disappointed when she awakened to find herself alone. She knew, however, he must be out hunting for food because the bow and quiver of arrows that had been hanging on a peg in the corner were gone.

For lack of anything more inspiring to do, Rosalind busied herself with tidying Adam’s brother’s house. It was apparent the dwelling had not been cleaned in some days. A thick layer of dust covered everything, and the floor was littered with dead leaves and mouse droppings. A kettle hung from the lug pole, its contents dried and moldy. The first thing Rosalind did was open the shutters to allow fresh air to enter the house.

It was late afternoon by the time Rosalind finished cleaning. She stood, her hands planted on her hips and admired her efforts. The house was small, containing but one room, which was stacked with everything from kettles to animal traps and fishing nets. But on the whole, the house possessed a warm, lived-in coziness that Rosalind found appealing. For a brief moment, she allowed herself the luxury of imagining what it would be like to settle here with Shadow and never have to run or hide again.

Sighing, Rosalind moved to the window and peered out, hoping to spy some sign of Shadow. The day was gray and humid and the leaves on the trees were turned upward, a sure sign of impending rain.

Rosalind stepped away from the window and attempted to dismiss the growing fear that Shadow had decided to leave her and not return. He had seemed so distant and withdrawn since leaving the ship, speaking only when spoken to and even then, mostly in one-word responses. Rosalind attributed his behavior to exhaustion and prayed his mood would be greatly improved upon his return from his hunt…if he returned.

A thorough search of the house revealed, to Rosalind’s delight, a store of corn, wheat and rye. Some freshly baked maslin might be nice for supper, she thought, as she searched for something to use for a mixing bowl. The simple bread would go well with whatever game Shadow might bring home.

The day had just begun to grow dark and the bread was cooling on a cloth on the table when Shadow entered the house. Rosalind felt her pulse quicken as she took in the Indian’s ruggedly primitive appearance – from his wild, windblown hair and the bow slung over one shoulder to the fat, skinned rabbit dangling from his hand.

“Smells good in here,” he commented, laying the rabbit on the table.

“Maslin,” Rosalind said, picking up the rabbit and carrying it to the fire. “I busied myself with baking and cleaning while you were gone.”

Shadow set aside the bow and arrows, then took a seat at the table. He tore a chunk from the still-warm bread and bit into it.

“Hungry?” Rosalind asked.

He nodded, chewing.

“Oh?” Her tone was teasing. “I thought you might have eaten a few raw fish while you were out. After all, the river is right at our doorstep.”

Shadow chuckled and shook his head. His smile, too long hidden, greatly eased the knot that had settled in her stomach.

Later that evening, Shadow and Rosalind supped on roasted rabbit and maslin. Although Rosalind attempted to carry on a conversation during their meal, Shadow became more and more unresponsive until she felt certain she could have announced her hair was on fire and he would only have nodded absently in response.

As Rosalind cleared the table, Shadow made his way to the hearth and seated himself cross-legged on a blanket on the floor. Rosalind’s hopes for a pleasant evening all but vanished as she eyed him, his expression solemn as he stared into the flames. Sighing, she realized she no longer could delay the inevitable. The time had arrived for her to have a much overdue discussion with him about his plans for the future. If his intent was to move on without her, then she preferred to be informed of it beforehand.

As Rosalind approached the hearth, the familiar knot in her stomach returned, making her wish she had eaten less of the rabbit.

“May I sit with you?” she softly asked.

Shadow nodded, not removing his eyes from the fire. Rosalind plopped down beside him and tucked her legs beneath her.

“What troubles you?” she finally found the courage to ask. She doubted she would receive more than a one-word response…if she received any response at all.

“Nothing troubles me,” he answered, still not looking at her.

“You have barely spoken to me since we left the ship,” she persisted. “I cannot help but think, by your actions, that you would have preferred to continue on to England.”

Shadow turned to face her. His gaze was so penetrating, Rosalind momentarily felt impaled by it. “Truth be known,” he said, “I never intended to sail to England. I planned to leave the ship when it docked in Boston.”

Rosalind’s eyes widened. “But why?”

His gaze returned to the fire. “I could not bring myself to leave the land of my people.” He paused before adding, “I could not bring myself to leave…you.”

His words caused Rosalind’s heart to leap. Dared she hope he really did care about her?

Cautiously, she said, “There is no distance between us now, Shadow, yet I sense that a part of you still remains far away. Please, tell me what is wrong.”

There was no warmth in his eyes when he looked at her. “No, you tell me, Rosalind.”

She just stared at him, not understanding.

“Why is it,” he said, “that you were so eager to fetch me from the ship only
after
your encounter with Nathaniel last eve?”

Rosalind’s mouth fell open. “What are you suggesting? That I would be with Nathaniel right now and would not have sought you out, had he acted more gentlemanly?”

“The thought had crossed my mind.”

She stared at him for several moments before she responded. “Shadow, from the moment you left last night, I felt an emptiness like no other – not since my father’s passing.” She knew she must swallow her pride to speak her next words, but she decided to be honest, come what may. “I realized then that I had fallen in love with you. And I knew that if I allowed you to sail out of my life, I never again would have reason to smile.”

She felt tears pooling in her eyes and hated herself for allowing Shadow to see them.

He reached out and took her hand in his. “Do you truly believe you could be happy with me?” His question was spoken so softly, it barely reached the distance between them. “I cannot offer you the comforts, the luxuries, the Corwins can. With me, you will spend your life constantly looking over your shoulder, and I cannot predict when, or if, you will ever see your family again.”

Rosalind placed her other hand over his. Her blue eyes met his dark ones. “I have come to realize that no sacrifice is too great if it prevents me from losing you.” She briefly thought of what would happen to her family if Nathaniel ever were to discover she had run off with Shadow of her own free will. She immediately dismissed the thought. Nathaniel never would find out. Never.

Rosalind swallowed the lump in her throat and gathered the courage to ask what she so desperately needed to know. “Do you think you ever could come to…love me…Shadow?” She lowered her head to conceal her blush.

Shadow used the side of his index finger to lift her chin until she was forced to look at him. “Come to love you?” he repeated. A hint of a smile curved his lips. “I do believe so.” His hand slid down to her shoulder. “I do believe I have loved you ever since I first set eyes on you.” His expression grew serious. “Since then, not a day has passed when you have not occupied my thoughts, nor a night when you have not filled my dreams.”

Shadow’s words, combined with his breathtakingly handsome features in the firelight, rendered Rosalind speechless. She could only stare silently at him.

Leaning forward, Shadow slowly, deliberately, lowered his mouth to hers. The moment their lips met, a spark ignited within Rosalind that swiftly and uncontrollably escalated into a flame. All her previous fears and misgivings dissolved as Shadow’s arms tightened around her and his kiss deepened. Back was the passionate, fiery Shadow she had believed was forever lost to her. Gone was the cold, expressionless statue of late who had tormented her with his silence.
Shadow loved her!
  He had confessed it! So great was Rosalind’s happiness, she felt as though her heart might burst from it.

Shadow’s lips were hungry, possessive, as his mouth slanted over Rosalind’s again and again in a series of searing kisses that left her gasping for breath.  His strong hands moved to massage her shoulders, to caress the back of her neck, to press her more closely to him.  Rosalind moaned softly into his mouth and wrapped her arms around him. When Shadow gently pushed her back onto the blanket, Rosalind had neither the will nor the inclination to resist. She lay there, gazing up longingly at him as he knelt before her.

“Please…remove your shirt,” she whispered, her own boldness surprising her.

Without hesitation, Shadow slipped out of his shirt and tossed it aside. Rosalind greedily eyed his smooth, broad chest and flat stomach, bronze in the firelight.  He remained kneeling, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I wish to see you,” he finally said, his voice husky. Before Rosalind could question his meaning, Shadow lifted her dress, his deft hands coaxing her to assist him. She complied, wriggling out of her cumbersome dress and undergarments and then stretching out on her back, presenting Shadow with and enticing view of her pale, naked curves. She held her breath as his eyes slowly, appreciatively, traveled from her neck to her ankles.

Shadow moved to kneel between Rosalind’s legs. Planting a hand on either side of her shoulders, he leaned to kiss her on the forehead. He lingered there only briefly before his mouth slid down to her chin, her throat and her shoulders, each kiss causing a delicious shiver to travel the length of Rosalind’s spine. When Shadow’s mouth reached her breast, Rosalind gasped with a combination of shock and pleasure, awed by the unfamiliar, yet thrilling sensations his lips and tongue incited. Arching her back, she grasped the back of his neck and pressed his face more tightly to her breast. He remained there for several minutes, nibbling, licking, and drawing the taut pink bud into his mouth until Rosalind nearly cried from the pleasure of it.

As Shadow slowly kissed his way back up to Rosalind’s mouth, he lowered his body onto hers, so his full weight was pressed against her. Rosalind slid her hands down his smooth, solid back, her fingers pausing to dip into the waist of his breeches. Silently, desperately, she willed him to remove them.