Too Much To Bear: BBW Shifter Romance (Shifters of Spellholm Forest - The Bears) (13 page)

"Sure, come on." She got up and offered Jenny her hand, which her daughter gratefully took.

Together they went downstairs, and although the two men looked up speculative when she walked in with her mom, both were tactful enough to keep their questions to themselves. For once, she was thankful her dad liked to talk about the farm to anyone who showed and interest. He talked for most of the meal, about his plans and the barn renovation. She tried to show an interest, and offer opinions, but mostly she ate and tried not to take every unknown twinge in her body as been another sign of the change.

When they had finished, Jenny got up to clear the dishes, her mom stopped her. "Why don't you go to bed, love? You look worn out. Say goodnight to Beck," she said pointedly, making sure Jenny understood what she meant. Then leaned closer and said, "I'll let your dad know."

"Thanks Mom."

Beck was up out of his chair fast, and said, "Thanks for everything."

"No problem Beck, I guess we'll get used to seeing you around."

"Shall I walk you out?" Reg said hopefully, wanting to discuss the yield of hay from the bottom meadow some more.

"No Reg, I need you to help me."

"Night Beck," Reg said dejectedly, but did as he was told.

Beck slid an arm around Jenny's shoulders, and guided her to the door, bending his head and whispering, "Is everything OK?"

She nodded, and then waited for them to be out of earshot before she said, "It's beginning."

Tears filled her eyes, and he tilted her chin to look into her face, and then brushed them away. "You'll do fine. Don't worry."

"But the first time, what if it goes wrong, what if I can't come back?"

"You will. I'll help you. Go to bed and rest now, tomorrow I'll teach you a few things I learned from my cousins. They're a crazy bunch, and I think they've seen it all where the change is concerned."

She slid her body against his, glad of his comforting warmth. With her head on his chest, she could hear the strong beat of his heart, and felt safe. If anyone could keep her grounded in her human body, it was Beck. For the first time she appreciated how lucky she was to have her mate with her at this difficult time. He held part of her inside him, and would not abandon her without a fight. She had to learn to let go, and trust in her inner strength. After all it had seen her through so much, all the years of suffering at Beck’s hands, it must have made her stronger.

"Goodnight Beck."

"Night." He kissed her on the cheek. "I'll see you first thing, we'll get the farm work done, and then we'll work on control. Hopefully we might find some time for sex too, because that is an important part of this."

She giggled, and slapped his chest. "You certainly know how to take advantage of a girl."

"Only you. Only you Jenny." He kissed her swiftly on the lips, and then dragged himself away from her.

She stood and watched him go out of sight, and then waited for his bike to start and the engine grow quiet as it disappeared into the distance. Even when she could no longer hear it at all, she did not move, lost in thought about what would happen. Everyone said it didn't hurt, but the hairs on the back of her neck stood up when she thought of all that fur pushing through her body. She knew that wasn't exactly what happened, but maybe people lied to keep the truth from the young ones.

With a sudden shiver, she realised how cold she was, and made her way inside. Her mom said, "Goodnight Jenny," As she walked through the kitchen.

Her dad came and hugged her close, and kissed her forehead. "It'll be alright Jenny Wren."

"You know that's not what I'm going to be, right Dad?" She asked.

"Yes, I know. But it doesn't matter; you'll always be my Jenny Wren."

"I'm sorry, about being the one to break the family tradition."

"Don't be silly. And anyway, you aren't. I had an Aunt who was a cat when she changed, and used to take great pleasure in chasing her relations. They grew quite tired of her. Bit eccentric was old Matilda, well that was what the family said, whether it was because she was different, who knows. It was sometime last century and very hushed up."

"So I'm not the first to be different?"

"No. But my grandmother liked everyone to think we were pure birds, but of a snob, didn't want the line of our descendants to be polluted by mammals."

"Thanks Dad."

"You're welcome. Now go to bed. But call out if you need us."

"I will."

"And Jenny..."

"Yes?"

"You've got a good man there, but he's got an even better woman."

"Goodnight."

"Sweet dreams."

She got into bed, not even the sound of her parents talking downstairs was enough to stop her from falling asleep almost immediately. No more strange sensations filled her body, and no dreams interrupted her sleep. When she woke in the morning, it was late, she had slept in, and for once, she didn't feel like jumping out of bed. She certainly was turning into a cat; didn't they like to sleep all day? She smiled, and made a commitment to herself to try to enjoy the change that would take over her body. After all, there was nothing she could do about it.

Later she would ring Paris, or perhaps go over and visit her. It would be good to share the news with someone who was about to go through the same thing. But for now, a catnap was in order.

A nervous excitement had filled Beck when he returned home. This was so new to him; it was hard to get his head around it. Trouble was, the more he thought about it the more he remembered the way he had hounded Wes on his first day back about being a neutered male. Was that what he was allowing himself to be turned in to?

Building a nest in the barn, having kids. He loved Jenny, the mate curse saw to that, but he was a strong bear, if anyone could fight it he could. The more the idea grew and swelled in his brain the more he wanted to escape it. Settling down and becoming a father, tending sheep all day. That was not the life for a real man, and Beck was a man in every sense of the word.

It wasn’t as if this was the only life for those such as him to lead. Paris’s father had sown his seed far and wide throughout this small community. Why couldn’t he do the same?

Before he knew it, he was heading out of the forest, and towards the main road, each mile taking him away from the cosy life Jenny promised. He was a bear, not some little bird farmer. Bears were supposed to be real men. His cousins would laugh and make fun of him when they found out. He could never invite them to come stay, it was too demeaning.

The road slid by under him, and on he went, heading for the nearest big city. He wanted to raise some bear hell for a few hours, drink beer and fight. The testosterone in him built, until the pressure of it made his head feel as if it would explode. The throttle on his bike opened more, and he picked up speed, for the first time since he returned he felt like his old self. Maybe he had been right all those years ago to tease Jenny and push her away. If he had never apologised, she would still hate him, and he would be free to live his own life on his own terms.

What right did anyone, or anything, have to tell him who he should or shouldn't love? Or mate with. Mother Hart's words all those years ago had prompted him to action, and maybe that had been the right thing to do, his subconscious telling him he would be smothered with love and kindness if he let the little bird in. But she wasn't a bird was she?

He pushed the terror away. The thought of her changing, of having the responsibility of seeing her through it, to make it right for her. That wasn't him; it certainly was not a thing he signed up for.

Disappear for a few years, come back when it was all over, she might even have had a child by then. He would have missed the nappy stage, good; because that was one more way they would pin him down and domesticate him. No thank you.

The city lights started as a warm glow, quickly growing to a blaze of bright colour across the horizon. This was the place he belonged, not on some quiet backwater farm.

Beck stopped at the first bar he came to, and ordered whiskey. He glanced around the bar, looking for anything of interest, but it was not exactly a lively place. Within minutes, his glass was empty and he drove his bike towards the heart of the city. Wanting to feel the beat of real people, dangerous people.

Parking his bike, he took off his helmet, taking a minute to get his bearings. His hearing was more acute than that of a regular human, and this was what he used to pinpoint the sound of a drunken brawl a few streets over. Drunks usually meant trouble, so this was where he headed. The sounds getting louder as he approached, yes he had picked the perfect spot. Trouble awaited.

Going inside the bar, he noted the various groups standing about talking and laughing, all in various states. Some were already three shades to the wind, others more sober, money exchanging hands, with furtive looks at him, the newcomer. Drugs, not his thing, but maybe that was what it would take to get rid of that nagging pull telling him he should go home with his tail between his legs; he was a mated man now. No longer free. To hell with that.

"What can I get you?" A woman, half dressed, asked. He smiled to himself, god he was turning into a prude too.

Forcing himself to eye her small breasts, and the tops of her thighs, which were barely covered by the shortest skirt he had ever seen, he replied, "What are you offering?"

"Right now, a drink. But later, perhaps you might want to see the rest of me." She batted her heavily made up eyes at him.

Smiling he said, "Right now, I'll have a beer. Later I might want to do more than use my eyes." He let his eyes linger on her body, watching her straighten, and thrust her breasts forward. She would be easy, most women were. He knew he been born lucky in the looks department, and everyone liked a bad boy, thinking they could tame him. There was no way he was going to admit, even to himself, that she did nothing for him sexually.

"Here's your beer. I get a break in about an hour. Fifteen minutes, I usually have a smoke, but I guess if I get a better offer I might quit."

He nodded and smiled, his eyes meeting hers. "I think I can wait that long. Now don't go wearing yourself out, honey."

"I'll try not to," she said, winking at him before moving on to the next customer.

He turned and took another look round, that was sex taken care of, now how about some other action. Trying to ignore the voice in his head that was calling him all the names under the sun, he zoned in on a group that were drinking heavily, their laughter rising above the rest of the noise in the bar. In that state, he could probably take them all on, and win.

Not much of a challenge. His eyes continued to assess the people in the bar while he sipped his beer.

Staying in bed soon lost its appeal. The birds singing outside reminded her of how much she liked to keep busy. She needed to get on and do all her chores before the change took hold of her and she ended up having to have some time off. Her mom had told her it would take a couple of days at least to get herself under control. It was not an exact science though; everyone went through it a little differently. Apparently, it depended on how gradual the change took you. If it was quick there was no time to get used to the conflicting personalities, and a battle for domination of her body would rage. She shivered at the thought, if her other nature was a snow leopard it would be a fierce battle, more than if she had been a Jenny Wren. Later she would ask Beck how his change had gone, a bear must be a fearsome force to control at first.

Looking out of the window, she scoured the courtyard for Beck, seeing no sign of him, or his bike. Usually he arrived early, and was at work by now, maybe he was also having a lie in. With all that sex, they had worn each other out. Her body thrummed at the thought of it, tingling sensations filling every fibre of her being.

Their bond would only grow stronger over time, their lives ever more woven together. They would have years of getting to know each other, just as her parents had. Well, more in fact, her coming of age was in four days’ time, her mom and dad had not met until they were a bit older than that.

Her coming of age. She had insisted she didn't want a party, no big celebration, just an intimate dinner for her family and close friends. However, that was before Beck had returned, when she still felt like the village fool. It was short notice, but perhaps they could pull off something a bit bigger. Dressing quickly she went down to find her mom. It was worth asking.

"Mom," she called, going to the fridge and pulling out the orange juice. Glancing around the kitchen she wondered if her mom had been late getting up too. The dishes were still in the sink, unwashed, something her mom never usually left. Pouring some orange juice into a glass, she put it away, and closed the fridge before going outside to find her mom.

The feeling that something was wrong hit her before she set eyes on Wes standing at the front of the house. He had driven his truck here, which he sometimes did if he was dropping Paris off, but there was no sign of her friend. A chill crept through her, had something happened to Paris? Had the change come over her early, and left her sick?

"Wes, what's wrong? Is Paris OK?"

Her mom and dad turned, and she knew straight away that Paris wasn't the problem.

"Wes has some news about Beck. He came to tell you in person."

"Is he OK?" Jenny asked, her throat suddenly dry, but the cold orange juice forgotten in her hand.

"Yes. A bit beat up is all." Wes spoke, but didn't hold her eyes.

"What's going on Wes?" she asked, afraid of what he might say. Unless he had annoyed someone in the bar, she doubted Beck had been beaten up around here.

"It seems he ran into some trouble last night."

"Where?"

"I think you should speak to Beck about this. I only know half the story. He called me last night to go fetch him, he's at the bar now, I can take you there."

Wes looked at her properly for the first time, and Jenny felt the stranglehold of betrayal around her heart. Whatever Beck had done, Wes obviously didn’t agree with, and the pity in his face made her want to hide away. However, she had to face up to whatever Beck had done. They were bonded, and this wasn’t just going to go away.