Too Much To Bear: BBW Shifter Romance (Shifters of Spellholm Forest - The Bears) (15 page)

She held Jenny's hand, and took her out of the shed. They went to the farmhouse, where Jenny's mom was cooking. The food smelt delicious. It was at that moment Jenny decided self pity was over rated, and she really needed to pull herself together. The worry on her mom's face was too much to bear, and so she forced a smile onto her face.

"That smells wonderful, mom. Do you need a hand?"

"No," her mom's face lit up. "No, I can manage. You go and get yourself ready. There are a few people coming over, nothing fancy, but I hope you enjoy it."

"I will," she said, kissing her mom on the cheek. "Paris is going to paint a smile on my face."

"Let's hope it will stay there when you're father decides to make a speech."

"He's not," Jenny said with shock barely hidden from her voice.

Her mom laughed. "You try and stop him, and the more honey mead he's drunk, the worse it will be."

Jenny groaned. "Can't we give him so much he falls asleep?"

"Let him have his fun, Jenny, he's been looking forward to this for a long time."

Muttering, Jenny headed upstairs, with a more subdued Paris following her.

"Are you OK?" Jenny asked when they had dumped all of the bags Paris had brought on to the bed.

"Yes. I know you're upset about Beck, but try and enjoy tonight, you are so lucky to have a mom and dad who care for you so much."

"I'm sorry, Paris, I never thought. No sign of your dad?"

"No. I know my mom moved back here so that he could find me when it was time for my coming of age. But it looks as though he's going to be a no show, like he has been for the rest of my life."

It was Jenny's turn to do the comforting now. She couldn't imagine what it would be like growing up without her dad. He had been there for her through everything. Now Beck had gone, it was her dad she turned to for guidance and reassurance. He had been giving her tips on how to deal with the change when it came. Thankfully, there had been no sign of a repeat of the last night she had been with Beck. She wondered if the stress of him leaving had chased the beast in her away for the present time.

"There's still a week to go, he might show up."

"He might, but I've chosen not to worry about it."

"Have you?"

"That's what I tell Wes anyway. He's more on edge over the whole thing than I am. The other night I felt a little odd, he didn't go out, although I know he wanted to change and hunt through the forest. Midsummer is so close now. It has a very strange effect on him. I wonder if it does on everyone."

Jenny laughed. "Don't. I remember one year, my mom and dad couldn't keep their hands off each other. It's as if their hormones go all over the place. Yuck."

"I wondered why Wes constantly wants to..." Paris stopped mid sentence. "Sorry, I shouldn't bring it up."

"Don't be silly. I'm happy you've got a good man by your side." She took a deep breath. "Right, I'm going to shower, and then you can do your worst."

She slipped under the warm water, and concentrated on being positive about the coming evening. She would survive without Beck, and live a fulfilling life. He was not worth all the heartache and misery she had welled up inside.

Who was she kidding? He was her mate, and his abandonment had left her devastated.

A shudder went through her, and she put her hand out to steady herself. The change was close, she would learn to embrace it and control it, and then she would run fast through the forest, losing herself in the wilderness surrounding her. This human life was only half of her, perhaps in her other form she would not feel so hurt, so betrayed.

"You OK in there?" Paris called, breaking through Jenny's daydream.

"Yes, be one minute."

Quickly washing her hair, she grabbed a towel and got out of the shower, drying herself roughly. She only prayed the change would not come tonight, it could be any time within the next week or so. That was what made it so tricky to control. You never knew exactly when it would take you. It was why the council encouraged those of age to go into a self imposed exile from regular people at the time. They worked hard to keep this other world a secret, not wanting to bring the wrath of regular humans down on those they did not understand. The human race was not good at dealing with its prejudices without a lot of blood being spilt.

"Sit down here, and I'll get started. I think we should have some music." Paris put on a cd, and handed Jenny a glass of wine, which had miraculously appeared while she had been in the shower. Then she got to work.

Paris did as she promised, drying Jenny's hair, and then styling it, piling it on top of Jenny's head, emphasising the length of her neck. Next came make up, thankfully she only used it to highlight Jenny's eyes, and the shape of her lips. She took her time, and with the help of the wine, Jenny began to feel a little more mellow, and hopeful. She would enjoy this evening, surrounded by her closest friends.

Once Paris was satisfied, she helped Jenny put on the pale blue dress she had bought two months ago ready for tonight. "There, you look beautiful."

"Thanks Paris, I really appreciate it. When it's your turn, I'll return the favour."

"Just remember, tonight is your night." She kissed Jenny on the cheek and went to the bedroom door. "Wait here a moment."

She went out, and Jenny, feeling slightly bemused, sat admiring herself in the mirror. It was a different sight to the one she usually saw. Well, when she even bothered looking at her reflection that is. Often she dragged on the first work clothes she came to, and then scraped her hair into a ponytail. Tonight she felt special.

"Can I come in?"

Jenny turned to see her dad standing at the door. "Of course you can."

She got up and wet to give him a hug. Pulling back, she saw he looked very emotional, and tears filled her eyes too. "What's up dad?"

"Nothing. I want you to know how proud I am of you. And to give you this."

He held out a small box, and she took it, glancing up at his face to try to work out what was in it, but she could not read his expression. With trembling hands, she opened the box, finding a velvet jewellery case in it. Still full of nerves she opened the lid. "Dad, you shouldn't have."

"You deserve it, Jenny. I want you to remember this day, and to know that we all love you."

She smiled, a bittersweet look in her eyes. He placed his hand under her chin and tilted it up. "Head held high, Jenny Wren, he was a fool to leave you, perhaps one day he will come to his senses. But know that we love you, and I am sure he does too."

"Thanks dad," She took the silver pendant in the shape of a wren and handed it to him. "Will you put it on for me?"

"I certainly will." He fumbled with it a little, but soon it was securely round her neck,

Looking at her reflection again, she realised Paris must have been in on it, that was the reason she had styled her hair so extravagantly. "Oh and these too. They were your grandmother's." He handed her another small box, slightly faded and well worn. Inside was a pair of diamond earrings.

"They must be worth a fortune."

"Don't know, never had them valued, they were always meant for you."

She put them in, and stood back. "How do I look?"

"Like a young woman about to have a fabulous birthday. It is time Jenny Wren you came of age."

Feeling a little sick, she followed him down the stairs. He waited at the door into the yard, and offered her his arm. She took it, and he opened the door, the sight taking her breath away. The yard had been transformed with fairy lights, and balloons. Tables set out with food and Wes standing at a temporary bar, waiting to fill glasses with fruit punch or beer. All around were friends and family she had known for years.

Emotion took hold of her, until her mom slipped her hand into hers, and whispered. "We wanted you to see how loved you are. This way you don't have to talk, you can dance the night away."

"How did you manage all this?"

"I know you said low key, but when we mentioned it to Paris, she thought it would be a good idea to cheer you up. Of course, you will have to put up with your dad's dancing first."

He turned and smiled at her. "I do believe it is customary for you to have the first dance with me."

"Great, dad dancing," Jenny said smiling, and whirling off onto the dance floor on the arm of the one man who had never let her down. Her heart ached for Beck, but she made that part of her small and told it to be quiet for the evening. Everyone had gone to so much trouble, she had to enjoy it.

The night went by in a whirl of dancing, drinking, and eating. As midnight drew nearer, she felt a little apprehensive, what if she changed in front of all these people and lost control? Slowly she backed away, finding solace in the shadow of one of the barns.

"He was a fool to run off like that."

She turned to see Tom standing behind her. He was the local police chief, and the man who had gone to get Beck that night from the cells. At first, she didn't know what to say, not trusting herself to speak without bursting into tears, because she missed him so much, and hated the thought of being here without him on this special night. Tom must be used to people not knowing what to say, he simply stood and watched the others dancing, feeling no need to fill the silence.

"Do you think he'll come back?" She hadn't asked a single other person that up until now, not wanting to voice her fears.

"In my job I see a lot of people get themselves into situations they have no right to be in. When I picked him up that night, he was afraid of what you might think of him. He was pretty drunk and rambled on about not being good enough for you. For a tough bear I reckon he was scared more than anything, and backed himself into a corner he had no idea how to get out of."

"You didn't answer my question?"

Tom smiled. "I think if he's brave enough he'll come back, if he's a coward, he won't. I won’t say you are better off without him, but that would be a lie and we both know it."

"Have you ever found your mate?"

"Nope. Stopped looking for her a long time ago."

"Sometimes I think it's like some crazy torture, the whole destined to be your mate thing. Once I thought regular people had it bad, them not knowing. Now I'm not so sure. It might make this all a lot easier if I knew there was someone else out there waiting for me. I guess I'll fulfil my other destiny of being a lonely old spinster."

“We can share our sorrows when we’re old and grey,” Tom laughed, his eyes wandering over to the other side of the courtyard where Selena was dancing with her dad.

Jenny knew how much Selena loved Tom, but he was too much of gentlemen to take advantage of her. He knew she wasn’t the one, although Jenny had to admit they would be perfect together. Selena was a white witch, and the woman Tom often turned to when he needed some extra help with police business.

“Do you ever wish this wasn’t how things had to be? That we could choose our mates rather than them being thrust upon us no matter what we want.”

“I’ll let you know if I ever find my mate. At the moment I have nothing to compare it to, but I will admit it is hard to be strong.”

“You are a good man, Tom. I almost wish I had been your mate.”

“At this rate Jenny, they’ll be a queue.” He smiled at Jenny, and then added, “Being a good man is not the only thing, I’m married to the job, and the pack. Being my mate would be no less hard than being Beck’s.”

“You’re right; it’s easy being Beck’s mate, because he’s not here to make things worse.” Her words were full of bitterness. “Oh, my dad’s going to make his speech, and I know he’s had too much mead.”

She headed away from her temporary sanctuary and into the thick of the party where her dad was balanced precariously on a chair. This was going to be an interesting end to the evening. Inwardly she patted herself on the back for getting through it all with no tears.

From his vantage point, Beck watched the celebrations down below. At least, he watched Jenny; no one else existed in his eyes. He had been busy in his self imposed exile, and now he was waiting to catch her alone, but the party looked as though it would go on into the night.

A party. He had expected Jenny to be moping around, pining for him, the fact she seemed happy put all his well thought out plans in jeopardy. What if she had moved on? A thought firmly backed up when she stood for ages talking to the local police. Tom, alpha of the local wolf pack, perfect for her. Good steady job, incredibly reliable, and the keeper of many, many secrets. Including a few of Beck's. Unconsciously the bear inside tried to break lose.

His temper flared, anger running through him, she was his, his mate, and no man would ever lay a finger on her. These thoughts quashed any doubts he had about the validity of his plan. The night he had attempted to betray her was forgotten, those doubts washed away with the force of his need to reclaim her. He should go now, drag her away from the party, and order her into his bed. It was her duty to obey him.

Only his fingers digging into the bark of the tree branch he sat on, kept him from leaping down and going to her. He had to get this right, not by force, not by ordering to do his bidding, that was not the man Jenny wanted or deserved, nor was it the man he wanted to be. Shaking off the need to change, and fight, he settled down to wait patiently, telling himself it would all be worth it.

His torture ended when, at midnight they all wished Jenny a happy birthday, and congratulated her on coming of age. Jenny thanked them all, but the stress showed in her body language. She was scared, and he longed to hold her and comfort her, telling her he would never leave her side again. Would she believe him? His fingers wrapped around the package in his pocket. He had a special birthday present for her, and soon the guests would go and he would be free to seek her out and give her what he hoped she longed for.

If not, then he would live every day of his life telling her how sorry he was, and hoping one day she would find it in her heart to forgive him.

Damn, they might just as well put a collar around his neck and make him do tricks in the circus. He was the black bear of the family. This was beneath him!