Too Much To Bear: BBW Shifter Romance (Shifters of Spellholm Forest - The Bears) (6 page)

His actions towards Jenny had always been a result of the fact she was destined to be a bird. Her family had always been birds, so how could she be any different. He had used it ruthlessly against her while teasing her.

However, she did not know why he had been so cruel. She thought it was because of her lovely curvy figure, but he knew they would fit together just right, his body inside hers, a perfect match.

But a bird and a bear, that was not his fate. Mother Hart had told him things years ago.

When Paris had asked him to take them to see Mother Hart, he should have said no. Some things were best left hidden, personal experience taught him that. Very much to his regret. What he hadn't told them was that he had once visited Mother Hart, and her words of wisdom, as a teenager, had shaped his relationship with Jenny. What he needed to know, was why she had told him a lie.

He looked behind at the two women following him. His heart ached for Jenny, his body yearned for her, those animal instincts brought to the surface now. This meeting with Mother Hart would answer all of their questions, or leave them so many more.

There could be no doubt in his mind that she was his true mate. So why would the old woman tell him his mate would walk with him, run with him. Unless Jenny was destined to be something else. And if that were true, would it damage her to know she would not be the same as her parents, as all of her ancestors before. Would she blame him?

She couldn't take her eyes off him. The way he moved, ambling through the forest as if he owned it. In his human form, Beck had always seemed so self assured, to the point of being arrogant. Now, with his thick black fur, which cried out to be stroked and touched, she understood him.

This was the first time he had allowed her to see him like this. The sight made her heart race, and if Paris had not been with them, she would have stopped him right now, and demanded he carried out his earlier promise of making her enjoy sex in the forest with him.

Perhaps it was a good job Paris was here. Her thoughts were still too muddled to give into her desires just yet. She only hoped the old woman in the forest might be able to help her sort out her confused feelings.

"How much further do you think it is?" Paris asked.

"I have no idea. I only hope Beck knows where he's headed, and that he sticks around to take us back out of here. There are no paths or trails. I would never have come looking for anyone living in the forest here."

"Good job your bear is with us then. And somehow I don’t think he’s likely to abandon us, well not you anyway."

"He's not my bear." Although her body wanted him to be hers, all hers in every way. The pull of being with him became stronger every step they took across the damp forest floor.

"No?" Paris placed an arm on Jenny's wrist, halting her for a moment. "I don't know what went on between you two. Wes said the past was in the past, or at least it wasn’t up to him to tell me what happened. At first, I badgered him to tell me, but he kept it to himself. Now I see why. There is something between you, and you know it. Don't throw everything away because of what happened before. If he is your true mate, embrace it. Be happy."

"I'm trying Paris, really. But my feelings for him are like a compass that finds polar opposites depending on the weather. I swing from wanting to have him right here right now, to never wanting to see him again. He hurt me. I don't know why he singled me out to be so horrible to. But I am struggling to simply say it is in the past. I feel I'm letting him off too lightly."

"Have you asked him? About his reasons?"

"No. It hurts too much to think about, if I dredge it all up, I know I won't be able to move past it. It took me a year to feel relaxed about going to school. It wasn't until Beck left that I finally settled down, gossip moved on. Now he’s back, and I can't trust my feelings for him, I can't trust myself to make rational decisions when I know this all is to do with fate."

"Fate is a strange thing. Just promise me you'll keep an open mind. Is this what you want to ask the old lady about?"

"No...I don't know. I came for you. I don't know if I want to know my future. What if I don't like it and there's no escape?"

"That is one big hunk of bear flesh," Paris said. "Make sure you are trying to escape for the right reasons if that's what you choose."

"A bear. How the hell did that happen?"

"Tell me about it. But between the sheets, I don't know if there is any creature who knows how to please a woman more."

"Paris!"

"Just saying. Not that I'd know, because he was my first, and only lover. But satisfaction comes in many disguises." Paris grinned, and walked past Jenny to catch up with Beck.

Jenny followed, her body humming with the thought of being pleasured by her bear between the sheets.

When the two women finally caught up with Beck, he was dropping down into a small valley. There was the sound of a stream running nearby, and the trees thinned, small saplings growing in the spaces where large oaks had once stood. This area had been cleared, old stumps of trees that had been cut down many years ago, now all covered in moss.

"Is this it?" Jenny asked.

"That depends on what it is."

They all turned, even Beck as a bear, had walked straight past the old woman sat statue like on an old stump not too far away. Jenny felt her heart pounding in her chest, and wanted more than anything to leave. A shudder passed through her, and then all at once Beck was beside her, a little in front, placing himself protectively between her and the old woman. Her fingers curled into his fur, and the bear stiffened, and then relaxed into her, his big solid body pressed against her leg.

She grinned, and rose to stand in front of them. "Now, why are you here? I'm old and don't like being disturbed."

Paris spoke first. "I've come to ask if you can tell me whether or not I will change when I come of age."

Cocking her head on one side, the old woman studied Paris closely. "And what do you offer in return?"

"Oh. I didn't think of that. What do you normally charge?"

"You must have read the fairy tales about how these things go. It's your choice, either your soul, or your first born child." The old woman still fixed Paris with her old wise eyes.

"I...I didn't realise."

Paris looked at Jenny, who in turn looked down at Beck, whose bear body was vibrating. Then she relaxed. "She's joking, Paris."

The old woman burst into laughter. "I had you though, didn't I? If you hadn't had him with you, I could have had some real fun with this." She pointed at Beck. "But you've been here before my boy, haven't you? Listen, I'll go put the kettle on, while he changes into a form that will fit through my door. I don't mind the smaller ones in my cottage, but bears can do so much damage."

She hobbled off, her legs stiff. Jenny wondered how long she had been sat on the stump. Maybe she had known they were coming, that thought chilled her. Maybe her parents were right not to question the future. A soft nuzzling at her hand took her mind away from the many questions she had, and back to her bear.

"I'm going to out Beck's clothes behind those bushes, they're not very thick, but we can look the other way," Jenny said.

Paris looked a little shocked, and Jenny wondered if she were regretting coming after all. However, she nodded, so Jenny pulled Beck's clothes out of her bag, and set them down for him. Promising herself she would not look, she went back to Paris, where they stood staring at the little cottage, both lost in their own thoughts, while the air buzzed as Beck became human again.

"Ready?" he asked. "Last chance to back out."

"Paris?"

"I need to know. Even if she can't tell me about the change, then she might at least have knowledge of my father. We've come this far, I'm going in. But if you want to stay here, it's OK."

"No. I'm with you. Beck?"

"Not letting you out of my sight. And I want to hear what she has to say."

Jenny remembered the old lady’s words. "You've done this before. Asked her advice?"

"Yep. Don’t to take everything she says literally. It can mess with your life."

Jenny wanted to ask more, to find out what he meant, but a shout from inside the cottage proclaimed the tea was ready.

Beck took the lead, heading down the small incline to the wooden cottage. He pushed the door open, and went inside; Jenny went next with Paris behind. It was darker in the small hallway than it had been outside, the gloom making it hard to see until their eyes had adjusted. The air was thick with the smell of drying herbs, and along the walls little glass bottles lined rough wooden shelves. In days long ago Mother Hart would have been burnt at the stake for witchcraft, thought Jenny, trying to make out the scrawly writing printed on the labels.

"Come in, come in," Mother Hart beckoned. "Been a long time since I've had so many guests at once. That's right, sit down if you can, let's have a look at you all."

They sat down in silence, while the old woman peered at them one at a time. Jenny had never been scrutinised so fully and completely, as though the woman could look into her very soul, and tell what lurked there. By the time Mother Hart sat down to pour the tea, they all felt a little awkward and uncomfortable, or perhaps scared, of what secrets might be about to be revealed.

"There, now drink up. It's not poison," she added, seeing Beck's distaste.

"What is it?" asked Jenny. She could taste peppermint, but it seemed to be masking other things, herbs she was not skilled enough to distinguish.

"A secret brew. Doesn't matter."

"Secret. Are all those other potions secret recipes?" Jenny asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. Growing things had been her life, and the thought of turning hedgerow herbs into medicines and tonics appealed to her.

"Recipes taught to me by my mother, and my grandmother, passed down from generation to generation."

"And who do you teach them to?"

"No one, that’s the reason I have stayed alive so long. You can't die if you haven't passed on what's in your head." She began to laugh, obviously enjoying her own joke, even if it passed over the heads of her three guests.

Beck shifted uncomfortably in his seat next to a large crystal, which was probably for display, but was surrounded by so many bits of parchment, it all teetered as though it would fall any minute. Caught up in Mother Hart's humour, Jenny began to giggle. Perhaps he thought the old witch would turn him into a toad if he knocked it down. Then she would have to kiss him to turn him back, she giggled a little harder.

Paris caught on to the merriment and laughed too, only Beck, who had hardly drunk his tea kept a straight face. It crossed Jenny's mind that there must be some kind of drug in the tea, but apart from feeling light headed and giggly, she seemed to have a fully working brain. So enjoyed the feeling it gaze her.

"There now, much better," Mother Hart said, looking at the two giggling young women. "If you're wound up too tight I can't see in properly. Now, look at me dear. That's it, right into my eyes.” She paused before exclaiming, “There, I've got you."

She held Paris's hands, and looked deeply into her eyes, a knowing expression on her face. Several minutes passed, and Paris's laughter subsided, until she fixed Mother Hart with a wondrous expression.

"There! I have you. Now, Jenny it's your turn."

"I’m not sure if I want to know,” Jenny said hesitantly.

The old lady grinned, and then said. "But Beck needs to know, don't you Beck?"

Beck straightened, and the pile of parchment swayed dangerously. "It's not up to me."

"But you do want to know? It's eating you up inside right now, isn't it?" The old lady fixed him with her piercing eyes.

Jenny also looked at Beck, who averted his eyes. "Beck?"

"I told you, it's not up to me. I will find out soon enough."

"Find out what?" Jenny's humour had completely gone, replaced by a cold dread. She looked at the old woman, and questioned what they all had got themselves in to. Beck had a reason for being here that was not entirely unselfish. Jenny needed to know the truth. "You came here before." Beck refused to look at her, so Jenny asked Mother Hart. "What did you tell him?"

"Exactly what he asked to know. What will my mate be?"

"And you lied." He stood now, the papers flying everywhere, but nobody noticed. They all felt the undercurrent of tension around Beck, and knew he was dangerously close to changing, becoming out of control.

"Sit down, my boy. I think we need to clear this up." She waved for him to sit, her voice rhythmic and chanting, as though she uttered a spell. Beck cursed under his breath, and then obediently sat down. "Now, Beck came here when he was a boy, and asked what his mate would be. So that is what I told him. Am I right?"

Beck nodded grudgingly.

"Beck took that knowledge and read into it what he would. But what I tell you is subjective, and sometimes we look at the information all wrong."

"What did she tell you Beck?" Jenny asked quietly.

"His answer is the answer to the question you don't know if you want to ask," Mother Hart said.

"What?" Jenny asked. "No riddles, please."

"What she means is that if I tell you what Mother Hart told me all those years ago, I will be telling you what you're not sure you want to hear."

"You know what I am going to be?"

He nodded, feeling her pain. "Yes."

"I think I need some air." She got up and left the cottage, feeling the presence of Beck right on her tail.

Once outside she took big gulps of air, trying to figure out whether to be angry with him. All this time he had known, all these years he had information that belonged to her. He had said nothing, not even a hint. Instead, he had been abusive and rude to her.

Oh no. What the hell was she going to turn in to?

"How can I trust you, Beck? You knew all along what I was going to be and you said nothing."