Too Much To Bear: BBW Shifter Romance (Shifters of Spellholm Forest - The Bears) (7 page)

"It's not like that."

"Then what is it like, because all I remember is how bad you were to me. What am I going to be that made you hate me so much?"

"Jenny, you don't understand." He went to her and tried to hold her. She slapped him across the chest, but it didn't even make him flinch. Her fists flailed at him and he caught her up and held her close to his chest until she had calmed down. "Let me explain. Then you might understand and learn to forgive me."

"I will never forgive you." She sobbed.

"You might, if you listen."

She didn't answer, she needed to know, but felt too angry to speak. So he continued.

"When I was thirteen I came across this cottage, I had heard rumours of Mother Hart, but thought she was made up, like the bogeyman. I asked her if she could see the future, if she knew things outside of this world. She laughed, and told me to ask. So I did. I asked her what my mate would be, and she told me. What I didn't ask was who my mate was. I guess I chickened out, afraid it might spoil things if I knew."

He relaxed his grip, and turned her to him. Using his thumb to wipe away her tears, he waited until she was completely focused on him.

"If I tell you any more, you will know why I treated you the way I did. But you will also know the answer to what you are going to be."

"I already know I'm not going to be the same as my parents, I'm not a bird am I?"

"No, Jenny. You're something different entirely.”

“Is it that bad?”

“No, not at all, in fact if she’s right I would find you very sexy. Not that I don’t already.” He kissed her neck, his lips trailing along her skin, making it on fire.

“Then why were you so horrible to me when you found out?”

“Because I knew it couldn’t be you.”

She stepped back from him. “I don’t understand.”

Torn up between protecting her, and telling her the truth, Beck hesitated. Whatever he told Jenny now would shape their relationship forever. If he told her everything, then she might understand why he treated her the way he did all through high school. Alternatively it would leave her possibly dreading the change she was about to go through.

"Jenny, I don't want to hurt you. Why don't you wait until you calm down? Give yourself some time before you make this decision."

It was the same advice he had given her only a couple of days ago, when she wanted to jump his bones. Since when had he become the grown up in this relationship? Then he reminded himself he was a couple of years older than Jenny, and had almost a lifetime more experience under his belt from the time he had spent away.

In that time he had slept around, almost hunting for a different woman every night, in the hope he would find the one, his mate. It was all because of the words Mother Hart had told him, the secrets he now wished he had never known. Which was why he wanted to use caution this time around.

If he hadn't interpreted her words the way he had, he would not be in this mess, and Jenny would no doubt of been in his bed for the last couple of years. A thing he wanted more and more with every minute he spent with her. Wes was right; he wouldn't be left less of a man. Instead, he would be living his life in complete satisfaction, making love to his woman every night.

"I need to know, Beck. I really do."

"OK. But not here. Wait until you're safe at home, and then we'll talk."

"Not at the farm. I don't want my parents hearing this or seeing me upset."

"OK, I'll think of something. Just not here."

He was worried that if he told her now, and she reacted badly, she might wander off into the forest. Not that he wouldn't be able to find her again. Her scent was so powerful to him he would be able to find her blindfolded in these trees. Still, he didn't fancy having to chase her all the way home. Maybe he wasn't giving her enough credit, she was sensible, always had been, but then she had little choice, being an only child she must have always known she would inherit the family farm, it had been in their family for generations. Those same generations who had always been birds.

He hoped this would end well.

Curiosity threatened to get the better of her. For months she had obsessed over what she would be, her whole life was about to change, and Wes knew the answer. All she had to do was ask and she would be in a position to deal with this. However, all her life her parents had told her to let things be what they will be. Change with the seasons, as nature intended. The question bugging Paris was whether she was like her parents, or a different beast entirely.

Paris interrupted her thoughts when she came out of the cottage, the old woman appearing in the doorway behind her. Jenny caught the look on her friend’s face, and went to her, pushing aside her own doubts. She would deal with them later. Beck was right; here was not the place for him to share private thoughts with her. She could wait, because right now Paris needed her support.

"Paris. What did she tell you?" Jenny asked, all at once regretting ever mentioning Mother Hart.

Paris didn't answer, she looked shocked, and Jenny wrapped her arms around her protectively. Her body trembled, and Jenny recognised the first signs of shock settling in.

"Come on," said Beck, "Let's get going."

The old woman watched them, her face unreadable. In a bid to understand what had passed between Paris and Mother Hart while they were inside alone, Jenny released Paris, and went back to the cottage.

"What did you tell her?" she demanded.

"What she wanted to know," said the old woman quietly. On closer scrutiny, the old woman looked a little shaken herself.

"And what was that?"

"She asked about her father, and I told her."

"You knew her father?"

"Yes, and I know the trouble he has set in motion." The old lady came close, and gripped Jenny's hand tightly. For a seemingly old bony woman, her grip was surprisingly tight, making Jenny gasp in pain. "Watch out for the bears. Trouble is coming for them."

"Trouble. What kind of trouble?"

"Woman trouble." With that, she released Jenny, and went back inside.

Stunned, Jenny could not move. Mother Hart's words rang in her ears. She needed to know more, and banged on the door. The old woman did not come, and when she tried to open it, the door would not budge.

"Jenny. Time to go," Beck said.

He was standing beside Paris, who was looking a bit more with it now. "Are you alright to walk Paris?" Jenny asked, coming back to her friend.

"Yes. I'm fine now, a little cold. Let's go home, that old woman gives me the creeps."

"She puts on a good show, that's for sure," Beck said, leading them back up the slope, away from the cottage.

"It's not an act though is it?" Jenny asked.

Beck caught her eye, and then looked sideways at Paris. "Who knows? Maybe she just likes to scare the locals."

Jenny caught his meaning and then laughed, although she didn't feel like laughing one bit. The old lady knew how to scare people, that's for sure. All Jenny could think about was the trouble coming their way. And whether she would be strong enough to protect Wes if she needed to. She almost burst out laughing, her protecting Wes. That had to be the most ridiculous thing she ever heard.

Looking at Paris, she decided her friend appeared a lot calmer, and she asked the question burning in her mind. "What happened Paris?"

Paris didn't meet her eyes. "She told me about my father. It seems he used to visit her."

"Visit her? In what way?"

"You know. Visit her." Paris emphasised the words, leaving their meaning clear.

"Ohhh. Wow. He certainly got around a bit."

"Yes. You have to swear you won't tell my mom. She thought he was the one, you know, that they were supposed to be mates."

"Not a word. Beck?"

"I promise." Although he looked uneasy, with questions of his own, he kept them to himself.

"Did she know what he was? You know when he changed?"

"That's just it. He was the one person she could never pin down. No matter what. Even in the...throes of...you know. He never let his guard down. She called him a chameleon."

"But you're not like that?"

"No." She brightened then. "But I am going to be something. If she's for real of course."

"Going to share?"

Paris looked apologetically at Jenny. "No. I want to keep it to myself, that way I won't feel so stupid if it's not for real."

"That's up to you. But will you do me one favour?"

"Sure."

"If it turns out what she told you is the truth, will you let me know?"

"Of course. What's wrong Jenny?"

"Nothing. Just tired, it's been a strange experience."

"I know. I am in no hurry to ever set foot in that cottage again."

Jenny agreed. She could feel Beck's eyes on her, and knew he had many more questions. She had to decide if she were willing to give him any answers, or keep Mother Hart's words to herself for now.

The journey back was quicker, and Beck found the way without changing. He easily followed the trail they had left, even though Jenny could not see it apart from an occasional snapped twig. He mentioned it been easy to follow her scent, and for some reason that made her shiver in anticipation. As they walked, her mind drifted back to his perfect body, and the things she wanted him to do to her with it. Things that would make her cry out in need.

Only when they got back to the truck, and he was needlessly helping her in, did he whisper in her ear. "I can smell you. I know you want me. Let's say we go and drop Paris off and then go somewhere private so I can ease your frustration."

"I haven't made up my mind about you yet," she countered, although her knees went weak and she was glad his hand rested under her elbow, keeping her upright.

She climbed into the passenger seat, his hand accidentally sliding along her inner thigh. When she looked into his face, she saw his move had been no accident, and despite trying to remain oblivious to him, the colour rose in her cheeks and her sex grew heated and wet. She closed her eyes, embarrassed at how much she wanted him.

And he would know, her scent, her body language, it all gave her away. But she wanted to stay strong, to get to the bottom of this whole messed up day before she finally submitted to the inevitable.

Beck got into the driver’s seat, and started the engine without another word. They all lost themselves in thought, the drive back passing by so quickly Jenny was surprised when they were pulling to a halt outside The Den.

"Will you be OK?" Paris asked.

"Yes. I've decided to tell Wes where I've been. He'll know some thing's up, so it's easier to tell him than for him to worry. I'll talk it over with him, but I'm certain this is not something I want to share with my mom. She's in a good place at the moment. I don't want to ruin that for her."

"Does she still hope your dad will return for your coming of age?"

"I think she still harbours a little hope in that department. But now I'm hoping he doesn't. It's funny; I've wanted to know about him my whole life. You know, who he was, what happened to him, but now...I don't think I want to know. He certainly sowed his seed far and wide." She got out of the truck, and just before she closed the door said, "Thanks for everything. I'll speak to you soon. Beck, it might be a good idea if you don't come home for a few hours."

Beck nodded. "Understood."

Before the truck door closed with a click, they were driving away, the silence between them heavily laden with secrets and desires. Jenny couldn't bring herself to as much as look at Beck, too scared she would tell him to pull over and allow him to take her right on the side of the road without caring who saw or heard. She put her sudden desperation down to her worry about him. That old woman had disturbed her, made her nervous. Yet her words were so ambiguous. Woman trouble. It could be anything, and if she hadn't said it in such a way, Jenny would have taken it lightly. Beck already had woman trouble, her. Their relationship was too far from being settled, and Wes would have an emotional woman on his hands tonight, perhaps that was all the trouble these two bears were going to get from their females.

So she decided to stick it at the back of her mind. There were much more immediate things to deal with.

"I told my dad we would go and check the cattle over at Pines Pass. We'd better go and do that before we go back."

He kept on going up the road, before turning off to climb high up to the field where the cows were. The lane meandered through open fields, and then a few pine trees began to appear. The smell wafting in through the open window. Jenny breathed it in. One of her favourite smells, especially when the sun had been shining on the trees all day. It soothed her, the fresh tangy smell growing heavier as the trees grew thicker. Then they turned, and the lane took them up higher, the view opening up to reveal the valley below. They might be on top of the world.

"The fields up here on the left," she said, pointing to a gateway.

Beck slowed, and then stopped, pulling up in front of the gate. "Shall I leave it here?"

"Yes. I'd like to walk; I still need to clear my head."

"Don't clear it too much; I am very interested to know what those secret thoughts are. I can tell you have been thinking of me in a more...friendly way."

"Friendly." She laughed.

He got out of the truck, and came around to her, so fast she hardly saw him move. Yanking the door open her turned her body, pressing her thighs apart and sliding between them. "Damn it you know what I mean, the scent of you, so close but out of my reach. I don't know how long I can hold on."

Her eyes were fixed on his lips when she said, "I thought you were the one saying to wait."

"I was. I am, but this is torture."

His hand fisted her hair roughly, and he pulled her towards him, his mouth claiming hers. She felt his hardness, and knew they were on the threshold of mating, that he truly could not wait any longer. Did she need the answers before that happened, or would it be sweeter to simply give in to him, to show him what she wanted?