Torchlight (17 page)

The others reluctantly agreed, deciding to bring a few boxes down to look at more closely in the light of day.

As they munched on sandwiches in the kitchen, Julia was struck with an idea. “Say, Trevor … what if we renovated the attic, making it a private floor for my use? It would give me a place to escape to when the inn is full. We could make it into a sitting room, bathroom, and bedroom.” As she envisioned it in her mind, her face was alight.

“Uh-oh. Suddenly I see my job description expanding—”

“No! Think of it! That high-pitched roof would make a really dramatic room. We could install long, side-by-side skylights to let in the sun. The basement is more than adequate for storage space. That way, we could make the existing master bedroom a honeymoon suite.”

“It could be pretty nice,” he nodded.

“Let’s give it some thought.”

“You might want to look at your finances,” he said. “Maybe wait until next year to refurbish the attic—it’s a disaster. Did you see those walls? Hog-hair-reinforced plaster. It’s crumbling all over the place despite their inventiveness. And the flooring … like I said, it needs to be totally redone. Not to mention the insulation—”

“Oh, come on, Trevor. Are you saying you’re overwhelmed?”

“No. But if you get married, we’ll need to get the main house in some sort of shape in time. After that, it’ll be up to you and your new hired man.”

He let the words drop carefully. Wasn’t she putting him through his own torment with her indecision over Miles? Two could play at that game.

Julia frowned and glanced over at Jake and Emily, then back to him. “New hired man?”

“Well, yeah. I’m not going to stick around forever.”

His casual tone obviously angered her. “I thought as much. Can’t pin down the wanderer, huh? Where are your dreams ‘calling’ you now?”

Jake and Emily moved to leave, uncomfortable with the conversation and where it was heading. “Let’s go for a walk,” Julia said, following after them. “The current hired man has work to do. You guys are on vacation.”

Ben had tried to accept the fact that Tara needed time for her project. But when she wasn’t at work on Tuesday night, he felt inexplicably cross.

“Come on, Dad. My show’s on in fifteen minutes.” They had finished their dinner ten minutes earlier, but Ben still sat across from his son in the restaurant booth, silently nursing his Coke.

“We’ll go when I’m good ’n’ ready,” Ben growled.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t understand how Tara can just leave the restaurant like this. Doesn’t she understand that it’s not the same without her?”

“I thought dinner was as good as usual.”

“Not me. It’s missing something.”

“You miss Tara.”

Ben scowled at his son. “Let’s go, smart aleck.”

Ben paced in front of Tara’s house that night, wanting to go up and knock at her door but unable to bring himself to do it. He wanted to see her—not just through the window, but up close—but the thought of needing to see her frightened him.
If I could just say hello, see how she’s doing …
He continued pacing.

He saw Tara rise from her easel, stretch, and move to the window to open it. He knew how stuffy that kitchen could get. In doing so, she looked out at him.

“Who’s there?” Tara called out, obviously frightened but trying to sound tough.

Ben couldn’t let her stay scared. Sheepishly he emerged into the light of the street lamp.

“Ben?”

“Hi.”

“What are you
doing?
”

He walked toward the window. “Just dropped by to see if you were okay.”

“Oh. Well, why didn’t you just come on up instead of scaring me half to death?”

“I don’t know.”

She went to the front door and walked out onto the porch. Ben paused at the foot of the steps.

“You want to come in for some coffee?” Tara nodded toward the house.

“I don’t think so …”

An uncomfortable silence fell as the two struggled with their thoughts and feelings. Tara spoke first. “Look, Ben, maybe you haven’t figured this out. So let me just say it. You’re here because you care for me. You can’t admit it, even to yourself, so you stay hidden
in the shadows. The sad thing is that even in the light of day, you’re still hiding in the shadows. And I’m tired of it.” She paused. “We’re not just friends anymore, are we, Ben?”

Still he said nothing. He felt choked, speechless, as her words of truth sank into his heart. Things were not going to stay the same; indeed, they had already been altered. But he wasn’t ready for a change!

Tara began pacing. “Maybe I’m dreaming this whole thing up. Maybe I’m way off-base … ” She paused and looked at him. “No. I know that’s not true. Ben, I miss Sharon too. But we can’t deny what’s developed so naturally between us. God is giving us the chance of a lifetime, but we’re both too scared and too tongue-tied to take it.

“Look, if you’re ever ready to hold my hand or take me in your arms for more than a sailboat ride, then let me know. Until then, I don’t want you in my shadows.”

With that, she marched up the steps and shut the door firmly behind her.

Scowling again, Ben walked home, heavy in thought.

Julia awoke instantly, sensing that someone was in the room with her. Sleepily, she opened her eyes and saw him leaning against the doorjamb, gazing at her as if transfixed.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” he said. “Sorry if I invaded your privacy. The door was open.”

“That’s okay. What are you doing?”

“Watching you,” he admitted, looking into her eyes warmly.
“You know, you’re so peaceful and still when you sleep, it’s a great chance to really look at you.” Julia silently sat up, not knowing what to say. She no longer felt any of the anger that had burned so hot the night before. What right, after all, had she to hope that Trevor would stay? She still wore Miles’s ring.

“Come on,” he said. “It’s nine o’clock. Jake and Emily and I can’t drink any more coffee or we’ll start bouncing off the walls. We thought we’d go down to your grandfather’s old shipyard and look around, then work this afternoon.”

“So you’re still going to be working around here, huh?”

“Look, Julia, things got a little out of hand yesterday. I said some things I didn’t mean.”

“Didn’t mean?”

He shifted uncomfortably under her gaze. “I have some things to sort out for myself. We can talk about it later, okay?”

“Okay. Well, then … I think going down to the shipyard to take a look around is a great idea. After all, Jake and Em are on vacation, right? Can’t make ’em slave all the time.”

“I’ll go tell them.” Trevor flashed her a grin and turned to go. He turned back to look at Julia. Her long, tousled hair fell in tangles around her nightshirt-clad shoulders. Her eyes, refreshed after a night’s sleep, loomed large, and her lips were rosy from her chewing on them unconsciously under his stare. “I have the most beautiful boss in town,” Trevor said.

“You say that to all your bosses,” she returned, then bit her lip, wanting to snatch back the flirting. She was messing with him. It wasn’t fair.

“Yeah. Juan in Rio was particularly cute,” Trevor said. His smile lit up his face.

I have the most gorgeous employee in town.
“Fifteen minutes?” she asked him.

“Ten.” He left her doorway, whistling.

Julia arrived a full fifteen minutes later, smiled innocently at Trevor, and grabbed a bagel from Jake’s hand as he was about to take a bite.

“You haven’t changed a bit,” Jake said.

“She isn’t very punctual either,” Trevor said, looking at his watch.

“You guys ready yet?” Julia asked, as if she had been waiting for them all morning.

They walked out the front door, and Julia exclaimed in surprise as she sighted four bicycles standing in front of the porch. “It’s a perfect day for a ride! Where did you get them?”

“I borrowed them from Tara and Ben. Jake and I went to get them while you were still lying in bed and Emily was making breakfast.”

“You guys are wonderful.”

The morning promised to be uncommonly warm. The temperature had already reached sixty degrees. As Julia raced out of the compound, she felt free and alive. “I haven’t ridden since I was a little girl!” she called over her shoulder.

“They say you never forget how,” Jake said. He pumped hard to pass his sister on the highway and called over his shoulder, “I think horses are easier though.”

“Ha! That’s all I need.”

“You should try it.”

“I’ll come to Montana for that.”

Jake led the way, with Julia right behind him. Trevor seemed at
peace keeping pace with Emily, and the two rode side by side chatting. Jake slowed just enough to allow his sister to ride beside him. “Gorgeous day, huh?”

“It is.” The highway curved toward town as it edged the water. Occasionally waves crashed against the tall granite cliffs, sending a fine mist their way. Beside the road, fat green buds had burst into sunny yellow Forsythia blooms. Maples, once the fire-red of autumn, were budding again. Here and there were the last blossoms of purple crocuses and daffodils.

“I can’t wait to restore Torchlight’s garden,” Julia said.

“That will be beautiful. Em and I’ll have to come back this summer to see it.” Jake cleared his throat. “Jules, can I talk to you about something?”

She nodded. “Sure.”

“What’s the deal with you and Trevor? He’s the best guy I’ve ever met for you. So why are you wearing that chump Beckley’s ring?”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. First of all, Trevor is just a friend. And Miles is not a chump. I’m in love with him.”

“You could have fooled me.”

“Does this ring look like a joke?”

“No, it doesn’t. Listen, Julia, I know you’re thinking of saying yes to Miles. But don’t do it! That guy is a loser. I know you think you love him, but maybe you’re too close to see it. There’s something about him I just don’t trust.” He looked over his shoulder to his wife and waved with a smile. Emily and Trevor waved back.

He dropped his tone. “Now this Trevor fellow, he’s a prince. I liked him as soon as I saw him. Maybe no one else will tell you this, so I will. You two are made for each other.”

“Jake, I think you’re overstepping your bounds. I told you, Trevor and I are just friends. Besides, he could up and leave at a moment’s notice. He’s not husband material.”

“Oh, he just feeds you that idea to protect himself. If you’re thinking of marrying someone else, why should he lay his heart on the line? I was upstairs when he was supposed to be waking you up. I watched
him
watch
you
for five minutes. The man’s in deep. I think you are too. You’re just too confused to see it.”

“Okay, Jake. You’ve said your piece. Now leave it. I have to make my own way.”

“All right. Just make wise choices, big sister. You have a lot of money in your pocket right now, since you hit the big 3-0 and got your share of the family loot. Ever consider that Miles just wants a wealthy heiress for a wife?”

“Jake!” She wanted to stop and yell at him, but didn’t, fearing that Trevor might overhear. She lowered her voice. “Did you ever think that it would make more sense that Trevor was after me for my money than Miles? Miles has his own nest egg.”