Torchlight (20 page)

Mike sat on a barstool, miserably spooning chowder into his mouth.

Tara came over. “All right, Mike, what’s up?”

“Nothin’.”

“Come on. What’s going on?”

“It’s my dad. Ever since you guys got in that fight the other night, he’s been in a bad mood. He says I shouldn’t come in here so much and bug you.”

Tara tousled Mike’s hair. “Look, your dad has to come to terms with a bunch of stuff, like letting go of your mom enough to let me in. It’s not easy, Mike. He’s been missing her for a long time now—we all have.

“But now he has to stop mourning her so much that he doesn’t push the living out of his life. I couldn’t stand the games anymore, you understand? If we’re just going to be friends, that’s fine. But if we’re going to be more, let’s get on with it. You and I are ready for it. But your dad is still making his way. Let’s pray for him that he makes the right decision, regardless of what we want, okay?”

Mike nodded gravely. “I hope—”

“No, Mike. Let’s not hope anymore. Let’s just wait and see. Let’s wait and see what God and Ben come to.”

Mike nodded again and then slipped off his barstool. He paused and looked around the empty restaurant. “Do you think you could say a quick prayer with me, Tara? I’m not much good at stuff like that.”

“Come here,” she said gently. She leaned over the counter and took his hands in her own. “There’s no such thing as a bad prayer, Mike. God hears us, no matter what we say or how we say it. To his ears, it’s all music.”

“Still, I’d feel better if you said it.”

She nodded and smiled at him softly. They bowed their heads. And there, in that tiny restaurant, the two prayed that the Almighty would move a man that they could not.

Julia, Trevor, Emily, and Jake spent the afternoon canvassing the southern coast of Maine, despite the cold turn in the weather. Few
others were out on the highway, due to the fog and threat of rain. They talked little, simply thinking how blessed they were to be smelling the sea air; to be seeing the waves and trees and the rough granite cliffs beside them.

Julia looked over at Trevor, absently watching the scenery speed by, and was especially glad he had survived his rescue of her. Gently she took his hand.

He looked at her in wonder.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

Tears unexpectedly welled in his eyes. “You’re welcome,” he whispered back.

“Hey, at the hospital, you said you wanted to talk.”

“Yeah. Forget it. It was nothing.”

The question hung between them. He knew it. She knew it. But neither seemed to have the strength to broach it.

She looked back out to sea.

When Jake and Emily left a few days later, Trevor still hadn’t told Julia how he felt. That night, she invited him to join her for dinner and a reading of Anna’s journals. He accepted, slightly dizzy at the thought of being alone with her once more. Work on the house had slowed as Trevor continued rewiring the mansion while helping Julia recuperate. She had spent most of the last week reading Shane’s logs, catching up to where they had left Anna.

Excitedly she told Trevor that Shane’s first voyage had been a huge success. “He didn’t die at sea! As much as Anna hated to see him go, I was half expecting him to disappear then and there.”

“Woman’s intuition?”

“I think there’s something to be said for it.”

“Me, too. Did Shane eventually die at sea?”

“I think so. I can’t remember if he died or just never came home from a voyage. I guess we’ll find out. But I’m dreading that part. I can almost feel their love, and I can’t stand for it to end.”

Trevor looked down at her intently. Julia was inspecting the new wiring in the living room, admiring the clean work. “I’ll see you in an hour,” he said. “I’ll take care of dinner. You stay put.”

“Yes sir.”

Too tired to cook himself, Trevor drove to town and picked up lasagna, salad, and French bread at Tara’s restaurant before going back to the main house. He thought of how he’d nearly lost Julia a few days earlier and would probably lose her completely when she agreed to marry Miles. The image of her wet, limp body in his arms, not breathing, haunted him. Could Miles take care of her as well as he? Would he have jumped in after her? Or would he have just called for help, waiting until it was too late?

Trevor tried to put Miles out of his mind, not wanting to become angry and ruin his evening with Julia. He parked his motorcycle and, grabbing the picnic basket from the back, ran up the stairs. He was startled to see Julia opening the door.

Her hair hung down in a golden waterfall, and her violet eyes, accentuated by her long lashes, smiled back into his. The bruising and swelling of her face and arms were, for the most part, gone. She wore tights, bunched up at the top of her cast, and a fisherman’s sweater that was long enough to meet the top of the white plaster. Even with the cast, she still managed to look lovely.

“Come in. You could’ve taken the car, you know,” she said.

Trevor found his voice. He brushed past her nonchalantly, heading for the kitchen. “I know. I had to get my motorcycle fix. Every once in a while I just feel like taking off. Haven’t been homebound like this for years. It felt good to be out on the road.”

“I can understand that,” she said quietly. After a pause, she followed him into the kitchen on her crutches. “After all, you’ve just come off a twelve-year odyssey into the world. I’m surprised you don’t feel more claustrophobic than you do.”

He pulled out the bread, salad, and main course. “I’ve had some serious distractions, so I didn’t really notice. You know, with the house and everything.”

“I know. The days are flying by. There’s so much to do it seems I just get up, shower, and eat breakfast, and then the next thing I know, it’s time for bed!”

Trevor reached for some dishes from the cupboard and arranged their meal on two separate plates. “As you can see, I hired Tara for the evening’s dining experience.”

“A fine choice. Let’s eat in the living room. Then I won’t have to move after dinner. Call me lazy.”

“Okay, Lazy, grab those crutches and follow me. The living room it is.” Trevor picked up the plates and led the way, choosing to settle into the wing chairs where Julia could put her leg up on the ottoman, beside a roaring fire. They ate and talked, mostly about Jake and Emily and all they had been through before getting married.

“I miss having them around,” Trevor said.

“Me, too. They’re good company.”

“How about updating me on Anna and Shane?”

“Well, they’ve just moved to Maine. I think the last time you
listened, it was three years ago in Anna’s journals. The
Courier
not only made her first voyage a success, but she also had many more afterward. With the California gold rush in full swing, the need for fast ships around the Cape was at an all-time high. Gramps headed off to Maine to build his own ships after he and Mr. Hammond had a dispute.

“Anna was worried that Mr. Hammond would just keep building Shane’s designs. But, fortunately, Shane had some improvements in mind. Those ships we saw at the ol’ shipyard turned the shipping industry upside-down. He just kept making faster and faster ships.”

“What journal are you on?”

“Number six.”

“Well, let’s hear some! I feel like I’ve been missing out.”

“Okay. Can you grab me that brown journal from the table in the library?”

“On my way.”

Julia admired Trevor as he went to get the book. He wore jeans and a dark-blue, long-sleeved T-shirt that complemented his muscular build. His motorcycle ride had left him with flushed cheeks, making him look even healthier and more vibrant than usual. She looked away as he returned.

As soon as Julia had the journal in her hands, she carefully opened it and began to read.

Trevor cleared his throat nervously. Julia looked up in alarm, never having seen him so ill at ease.

“Want to hear something very strange?” he asked.

“Okay …”

“When I was in Morocco four years ago, I picked up a burnoose that sounds identical to the one Shane gave to Anna.”

“You’re kidding!”

“I’m not. I’ll be right back.” He hurried out the door and returned, panting, several minutes later.

Trevor held the cape out to Julia. She gasped. “It is beautiful. I can see why Anna was so excited.”

“It’s for you.”

Julia looked up at him, shaking her head. “Oh, Trevor, I can’t accept such a gift from you.”

“No. You must. I picked it up four years ago with the distinct thought that I would meet the right person to wear it. Who better than you?”

She could see that there was no changing his mind. “Thank you,” she said softly.

“You’re welcome. When I leave here, it will warm my heart to think of you wearing it above the cliffs, just like Anna.”

Julia was speechless. The word
leaving
felt like a sudden punch to her gut, taking her breath away. Struggling for composure, she sought the right words. “So … so you’re thinking about leaving soon?”

Trevor rose, looking out into the black night and obviously listening to the waves.
Crash, swoosh. Crash, swoosh. Crash, swoosh.
He stiffened before turning to say, “Well, sure. Can’t stay on forever. Believe it or not, this house will someday be in ship-shape. And with you and Miles marrying this summer, you won’t need me hanging around.”

“Don’t be silly,” she said. “Of course we’ll need you.”

Trevor heard the “we” distinctly. His heart sank like a rock.
She’s made her decision. There’s no hope.
He feigned weariness, stretching broadly. “We’ll see how things turn out. In the meantime, I’d better get some shuteye. Thanks for the dinner company. See you tomorrow morning.”

“Thanks for the lasagna. And the burnoose.”

He disappeared into the night without another word. Grief consumed him. He wanted to get out of the house before she detected his feelings from his expression.

Julia sat in the chair, staring at the cape and listening to the waves, for a long time after he had gone.