Tormented (18 page)

“Yeah?” Cold beady eyes stared back at me.

Gathering all my courage, I tried to keep my voice even when I spoke. I didn’t want Nolan to hear the panic I felt. “Why the rush to get married? I . . . um, I don’t even have a gown.”

“Don’t let that worry your pretty little head. I wouldn’t care if you were naked.”

I had to buy time. Maybe he’d change his mind. “Don’t be silly. I want to look beautiful on my wedding day. It’s every girl’s dream.” I didn’t sound convincing, even to myself.

His nostrils flared and the frown was back. “Are you trying to back out?”

I could hardly breathe. Fear gripped my insides. I’d always been able to reason with Nolan in the past, but in his present mindset he wasn’t leaving any room for negotiation or compromise.

Moving my head from side to side, I spoke softly. “No, of course not. It’s just that I always wanted a fairytale wedding. The dress, the flowers, Daddy to walk me down the aisle . . . the whole thing.”

Nolan’s eyes softened for a few moments, and he almost seemed like the man I used to adore. “I’ll see what I can do to make it the best I can. But it’s going to happen tomorrow, Eva.” His jaw clamped tight. “That part is not negotiable.”

Holding back the urge to scream and cry and lash out like a crazy woman at a fate that seemed worse than death, my chest heaved as I sucked at air.

Harrison. I’m doing this for him.

As long as I repeated that over and over in my head, I’d be fine, even though my insides rattled and I wanted to run as far away as my legs would carry me. Maybe Nolan suspected as much, because I was still tied to the damn bed, and my wrists were hurting from the friction, as I’d been trying to subtly wrangle them free without success.

I was stuck. This was the way my life was going to be, and there wasn’t much I could do about it, given the circumstances. Resistance only fueled his temper, and I was afraid if I pushed too hard, he’d renege on his side of the bargain. Not that I had much of a guarantee that he wouldn’t revoke his promise anyway.

I didn’t trust Nolan Parker. Not for a second.

Moving closer to me, Nolan’s hand slipped under my clothing, and he caressed my ribs and chest until they came to my breasts. Kneading and squeezing the naked flesh, the look of arousal that flashed across his face caused me to brace myself for what was coming. I’d agreed to marry him, so nothing I said at this point would stop him from forcing himself on me. I gritted my teeth together as he pinched and rolled my nipples—something that he loved doing and which had always turned me on in the past filled me with repulsion now.

With his mouth on my breast, he sucked on a nipple and sighed with satisfaction. “At fucking last, babe. I’ve been waiting for this for days.”

Flinching as his hand drifted lower toward the space between my thighs, I pressed my legs together to ward him off. His hand slipped between my thighs and pushed them apart just enough to gain access to my pussy.

Oh Lord.

His finger pressed against my clit and he rubbed in small circles, causing the blood to rush to the nerve-filled nub. Heat rose to my cheeks as I felt my arousal grow against my will. I hadn’t had sex in a while, yet I hated that my body reacted like that.

Of course it was exactly what Nolan wanted. Three fingers plunged inside me, sudden and harsh, invading my most private parts with brutal force. He moved faster and faster, hurting me as his fingers fucked me relentlessly. There was nothing remotely sexy about the experience. At least, not to me. Nolan’s face had an expression I’d never witnessed before, and it frightened the hell out of me. He was a man on a mission.

If I begged him to stop, it would only spur him on. My whole body tensed as I squirmed and gripped the sheets beneath my fingertips for something to ground me. Something to hold on to.

If only I wasn’t tied down.
Fighting him was exhausting and futile.

Nolan pushed my thighs apart and pressed down hard. His face disappeared between my legs, and I gasped as he latched on to my clit. Every bit of arousal I’d felt earlier dissipated as I dissociated my mind and heart from my body.

It was almost like an out-of-body experience; I was simply an observer to what was happening to me. Nolan stopped and lifted his head. Gripping my upper arms, he shook me violently until my teeth clattered.

“Get some life into you, woman. What happened to the lioness?”

“Fuck you,” I spat out, against my better judgment.

“No. I’m going to fuck
you
.” His teeth gnashed at my ear, his face only inches from mine.

His cock slammed into me, thrusting hard as he drove into me again and again. His body covered mine and held me captive, his weight crushing me.

I hate you.

I pressed my lips together tightly, and my head thrashed from side to side as I tried to avoid the lips searching for mine. As long as he kept busy
down there
, I could close my eyes and pretend I was in a dream. A nightmare, to be more accurate. But kissing . . . it was so damn intimate. I couldn’t bring myself to allow it.

Fingers closed around my throat, squeezing my windpipe until I could barely breathe. Was this what I’d have to endure for the rest of my life? Terror would become my stalker, my husband my tormentor.

A sharp, piercing pain speared my heart. Didn’t anybody care what had happened to me? Was I just forgotten and tossed aside by my family and my lover? Out of everything, that was the hardest pill to swallow. That they’d leave me to suffer whatever Nolan handed out without batting an eyelid.

I might as well die if this is what my life will become.

I sucked at pretending and faking. Without a doubt, there was no way in hell I’d survive with a crushed spirit. Because that was exactly what Nolan would do to me—kill me from the inside out until I was nothing more than an empty shell.

Harrison, where the fuck are you?

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I gasped for air. My legs and arms went limp, and I just laid there with my eyes squeezed tightly shut, sobbing as Nolan used my body.

I. Hate. You.

Hate. You.

It was one thing Nolan couldn’t take from me. One thing that would grow and expand with every passing day. Hatred swelled in my gut as I endured the torture he forced upon me.

I could breathe again. There would be no sleep for me, no reprieve. I was too afraid and too shocked by what had just happened to ever want to sleep again.

Nolan lay on the bed beside me, his breathing erratic and heavy.

I had no idea how much time passed as I lay dead still, fearful that if I stirred, Nolan would repeat his hellish performance again. I kept my eyes closed and listened. A long time passed before Nolan’s breathing became rhythmic and even. Good. Sooner or later, he had to give in to sleep—he was human after all.

I clung to the two emotions that still made sense—disgust and contempt for the man sleeping as if he had no care in the world surged through me.

Hatred would be my ally. My only friend. My saving grace.

L
ife had me by the balls. Savage was right. I’d changed without really thinking about it. I no longer wanted to die or have my life ended in any way. For the first time since that fateful incident, I actually had something to live for. Something to hope for.

The plane touched down for refueling at a military base in Germany, and I had to act fast to get myself out of the situation that was certain to send me to my death.

“Speak to the captain,” Savage said. “Tell him something serious happened at home and you need to get back.”

“And abort the mission? There’s no way in hell they’d agree to that.”

We’d disembarked the aircraft to stretch our legs and get some fresh air. The place smelled of gasoline and grease and my despair. I took a few big gulps of my fizzy drink and belched. Flying always upset my stomach, and now it was worse than ever.

Savage rubbed his chin. “Hmmm . . . you’re probably right. You have a target on your back the size of a bull’s head.”

“Somebody wants me gone. No prizes for guessing who.”

“What makes you think it’s
one
person?” The concern in Savage’s voice disturbed me. “You know how you love conspiracy theories? Well, I think this is exactly one of those tangled messes, and you and I are slap bang in the fucking middle of it.”

I nearly spat out my drink. Who the hell did Parker have on our tails? Could I trust anyone other than my partner on this mission? And I’d never really thought of the impact my shit had on Savage. As partners we were bound together. And now I’d dragged the only man I could ever really call a friend into this clusterfuck of a situation.

“So you agree it’s not just my imagination?”

Savage screwed up his face. “Somebody wants you dead, buddy, and since I’m always by your side, I guess it’s just become fucking personal. I’m not ready to die just yet—not by a long fucking shot. I have plans to live till a ripe old age and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I chuckled. The situation was anything but funny, but Savage had a weird way of putting things in perspective. It hit me like a ton of bricks
.

“Me too. I wanna live and grow old.”
With Eva
.

Savage grinned at me, his pearly whites glistening in the semi-dark. He didn’t need to say anything more.

“You have no idea how fucking great it is to hear you say that.” He patted me on the back and for a moment something passed between us. Bonded by a brotherhood, our fates were linked inextricably. Savage had been my partner for so long and if nothing else, I owed him the chance to have a great life.

“We’re gonna get out of this alive and be back on the next plane out of here.” My jaw set tight as I made up my mind. There was no fucking around this time. Our chances of getting out alive depended on it.

“We’ve gotta get in and out of this mission as fast as possible. While you’ve been moping about your girl, I’ve been strategizing, and I think I’ve got the answer.” Savage cracked open a beer and clinked the bottleneck against that of my soft drink.

“By the way, I’m wondering if a blonde woman has anything to do with your sudden desire to become a grandfather,” I said, taking the piss out of him. After Savage got dumped by his fiancée, less than a week before their wedding, he’d sworn off women. Clearly he was back in the game if he was planning on having a family.

Savage chuckled. “Gotta pass on these shit-hot genes, buddy. I mean, what a waste if the bloodline stops here.”

I had to agree with him. There wasn’t a better man than my partner when it came to loyalty. I just hoped the next woman he fell for was worthy of his heart of gold.

“What made you change your mind? You’re a confirmed bachelor with your pick of babes. You gonna give all of that up?”

Savage nodded. “Yeah. It gets old after a while. I’m a one-woman man. Screwing around may be good for my balls, but not for my heart. I want a woman to love and to grow old with.” He looked down into the neck of his beer. “Jessica is going through a divorce. Maybe I can have a second chance with her.”

“Jesus, Savage. You have to choose
today
to tell me all of this shit? Why didn’t you mention this in LA before we got on that plane?”

“Would you have listened? Your head is somewhere else, and I don’t blame you. But now you know we both have a reason to get out of here alive, maybe you’ll stop living on the fucking edge and do your job . . . but without getting either of us killed.”

I grimaced. We’d certainly had our fair share of narrow escapes over the years. The types of people we targeted were the hardest of criminals and terrorists who didn’t give a fuck about another person’s life, least of all ours. I’d taken pride on being number one on the underground hit list; knowing they wanted me dead spurred me to greater heights, and made me want to take bigger risks. It was all for a rush of adrenaline and to fuel my insatiable thirst for revenge.

“Let’s talk about your strategy. If we can do this job in a day and get the fuck out of Afghanistan I can focus on finding Eva. I can’t believe what an asshole I’ve been.”

Savage slapped my back hard. “Welcome back, buddy. I’m glad to see you’ve finally come to your damn senses.” His grin nearly touched his ears. “And not a minute too soon, either.”

I laughed, relief washing over me that there was a way out of this mess. “Thank you, asshole. What would I do without you? You nag worse than my mother.”

Savage just shrugged, and then started laying out his plan as if we were simply discussing the strategy of a baseball game. I listened intently, nodding and only interjecting when I wasn’t clear on a point. Everything hinged on us catching our target as soon as possible, preferably within the first few hours of reaching our destination.

This was so much better than the original MO drawn up by the team back in the States, who gave us a week to adjust and stake out the territory before we struck the enemy. There was absolutely no margin for error with Savage’s plan. Plus the element of surprise was going to knock a few more bad guys on the head than our intended target only, including the powers behind this mission who wanted me out of the way permanently.

“Know what? You’re fucking brilliant. Now I remember why we make such a kickass team. Your brains and my guts, and they won’t know what’s hit them.” For the first time in days, a surge of positive energy flow through my veins.

We’d make this work.

Fuck yeah!

“Hey, Summers.” I turned toward the voice of the co-pilot, who spoke with an Australian accent.

Pumped, my blood thrummed with anticipation. “Yeah? We ready to go?” I motioned for Savage to follow me. I was eager as fuck to get back on that plane and get to our destination. I needed a hot shower and a few hours of sleep, and then I’d be ready to go all out on Savage’s brilliant plan.

“Uh . . . sorry mate.” He shook his head and looked as if he’d just heard the news that his grandmother had died.

“What’s up?” Savage rested his hand on my shoulder and squeezed, as if he were bracing himself and preparing me for bad news. A sense of deep foreboding seeped into my bones.