Torn (38 page)

The other girls were studiously ignoring me while they gossiped back and forth about everyone from underclassmen to teachers and other adults in the town. I didn't want to join in the gossip, and Brandon was sprawled out on the pickup bed with his eyes closed. I settled for contemplating the glorious sunset's myriad colors.

We passed some kind of border into one of the parks. Vincent slowed down a little more as I was busy taking in the incredible pinks and purples that were dominating the western sky. It was like someone had splashed glowing paint across a window and then gone back and painted in picture-perfect clouds to complete the scene.

I'd seen plenty of amazing sunsets back home, but there was something about the rugged, almost hostile, skyline here that gave this one a spectacular level of depth. Maybe mom was right about the west after all. Sure it was hotter than Satan's kitchen, and a dermatologist's worst nightmare, but the skylines were amazing.

Brandon opened his eyes as I let out a sigh of contentment. “Bored already? We're only halfway there.”

As I opened my mouth to respond, Vincent turned off the road onto a trail that hardly looked wide enough for a Geo Metro let alone his monster truck.

I let out a yelp as we dropped down a small hill and then started climbing up the other side of the gully with a small bounce. Brandon chuckled at me, but shifted positions enough to brace himself against the two beer kegs, and then reached out and wrapped an arm around me. A couple of the girls who'd been looking especially condescending over my surprise as we'd gone off road, were now obviously disappointed. They were probably wishing it was them instead of me cradled against Brandon's yummy chest. I tried not to radiate too much contentment, but rather suspected I failed.

Vincent wasn't really driving any faster than before, but the fact that we were going up and down slopes I wouldn't have thought could be driven, made his current speed reckless. Even with Brandon's arm stopping me from flying out of the pickup, I still had a couple of moments where my heart shot up to the top of my throat. He of course remained frustratingly calm, even when we hit a bump with enough force to nearly send everyone flying out of the bed. The other girls were trying hard to appear nonplussed. They were probably even fooling the boys, but they weren't enjoying themselves.

I was nearly sick by the time the track we were following leveled out, but there was just enough light left for me to enjoy the last of the sunset as we finished up the last ten minutes of the drive. As the final glimmers of color faded away into twilight, Vincent pulled his truck over in a spray of dust, and we were there.

I'd been expecting a lot of people. Even I knew you couldn't finish off two kegs of beer with eight or nine people, but this was crazy. There were already at least thirty people here, and based on the clouds of dust I could now see coming from where we'd just been, there were more people still on their way.

Brandon nimbly jumped out of the truck bed, and then helped me down to the ground as Vincent came back and manhandled one of the kegs to the edge of the tailgate and tapped it. My first kegger had just officially started.

Cassie showed up in a white pickup a few minutes after the beer started flowing, and popped the panel covering the bed, revealing an astounding row of speakers that promptly started spewing an aggressive mix of drums, guitars and synthesized notes that made Brandon's usual mixes sound like Christmas carols.

In short order there was a roaring fire going, despite the fact it wasn't really cold yet, and people started congregating in groups to talk or dance depending on their preference. Brandon seemed to be one of the former. Dragging along behind him as he slowly worked his way through a third of the school was extremely boring. I honestly couldn't think of a less entertaining way to spend and evening, but I wasn't ready to join the dancers. Most of them seemed to be rapidly losing key items of clothing, and all of them were dancing so close it was hard to tell where one person ended and the other began.

As Brandon handed me another cup of beer, which I started slowly pouring out on the ground as soon as his back was turned, the loneliness really started to hit me.

It would be bearable if I had a friend other than Brandon. It might even be fun to sit back and laugh at some of the antics making an appearance as people got more and more wasted. Instead I was stone cold sober, and the next best thing to completely friendless.

About the time Vincent tapped the second keg, Brandon looked over at me and flashed a thoughtful smile. I would've said nothing could've made up for the last two hours, but it came remarkably close.

“I'm sorry, this isn't any fun for you is it?”

My listless shrug earned me a chuckle. “Well then, let's change stuff up a little. Care to dance?”

I almost said no, but as he pulled me in towards him, I suddenly realized just how badly I wanted to touch his incredibly hard chest and shoulders. Being wrapped in his arms was so pleasant that I didn't even protest when he pulled me in closer.

My whole body tingled where it touched him, and his cologne, so faint as to be almost imperceptible, was like nothing I'd ever smelled. Almost against my will I found myself pressing up against him so I could drink in the scent.

The music was still way too loud, everyone around us was still ridiculously drunk, but suddenly I couldn't care less.

Someone tried to come up and talk to Brandon as the next song started, but he waved them off, not even pulling his eyes away from mine. I'd thought my heart couldn't race any faster than it already was, but when he started moving his face down closer to mine, it felt like it was going to tear itself free from my chest.

It was happening. I'd fantasized about kissing even back when I thought boys had cooties. I wasn't sure I was any more ready than I'd been out in the parking lot, but I could tell by the way he was moving that he wasn't going to abort this time.

The tingling was even more intense now as I brought my hand up and cupped the side of his face, and then our lips met. It wasn't like I'd imagined. His lips were warm, and they had the slightest hint of softness, but there was more urgency and fierceness to the kiss than expected.

It wasn't as amazing as I'd fantasized, but I was still having a hard time thinking. I tried to pull back and catch my breath, but his arms had become steel cables that pulled me in tighter.

Fear finally overcoming my desire not to look stupid. I started to push away from Brandon. My efforts seemed futile for several seconds, and then his right arm released me. He wasn't letting me go though, his right hand had just repositioned to my stomach while his left arm kept me pinned against him almost as tightly as both hands had just a second before.

It should have been obvious what he had in mind, but it wasn't until his hand was under my shirt and moving upwards that my overloaded mind caught up with events. I tried to protest, tried harder to push myself away from him, but he just held onto me tighter than even before.

His hand was just millimeters away from its target, and I was starting to see stars from lack of air, before I finally remembered some of the tricks my dad had shown me.

I slammed my heel down on his left foot, and then brought my knee upwards towards his crotch, only to hit nothing but air as he spun me around.

“What the crap are you doing?” He wasn't even limping. He seemed more surprised than angry.

“What was I doing? Maybe trying to convince you to keep your hands to yourself, you think?”

As soon as the words came out I started wishing I hadn't said them. This was Brandon. Guys like him don't just drop out of the sky and decide they are interested in chubby little nerds like me.

Brandon's expression hardened, and I suddenly knew there was no going back. Maybe it would've been worth it to let him grope me a little, but done was done.

People were starting to gather around us, Brandon's closest friends, the ones he ate lunch with every day, were all standing behind him, while everyone else filled out the circle.

I looked around for some kind of support from the other girls present, but couldn't find even one sympathetic face. The next thing I knew I was on the ground with my ears ringing and Cassie standing over me.

“...your stupid lies. If you repeat them you'll be sorry. Every single person here will vouch for Brandon.”

A couple of people flinched a little at that, like they weren't completely comfortable lying, but Cassie stared them down. Nobody would meet my gaze.

I opened my mouth to protest, and Cassie grabbed me by the front of my jacket and dragged me the better part of twenty feet. My head was still spinning as she leaned down and hissed into my ear.

“Get out of here. Don't wait around, don't ask anyone for a ride. You had your chance and you blew it. He's mine again, and if you're not out of sight in the next five minutes I'll kill you myself and end this stupid experiment once and for all.”

I'd only heard that kind of blatant willingness to kill once before, and just like with Jasmin, I was absolutely convinced Cassie was serious. I wanted to get up, to do something other than just lay shaking on the rocks, but my mind was like an appliance with stripped gears. It was spinning but not grabbing onto anything, so nothing was happening.

Cassie picked me up with one hand and gave me a hard shove back towards the road. I almost fell. Considering just how rugged the terrain was, it was a good thing I didn't, because I probably would've broken my neck. It was still a near thing, but once I was moving reflex kept me headed in the right direction.

Tears were flowing freely down my cheeks, and my heart seemed to be missing every second beat, almost like a hole had been torn in it and now it was a battle to continue beating, when it just wanted to quit.

I did fall down when I hit the first slope. There was just enough moonlight to confirm that the pain in my hands and elbow was the result of having all of the skin abraded away. I thought I was going to pass out, or maybe throw up, but I couldn't cry any harder than I already was.

Part of me kept expecting Brandon to come running towards me from the direction of the party. He'd apologize, and explain how he'd wanted to stop Cassie, but he'd been too stunned by what she was doing.

Even the delusional part of my brain that was trying to come up with a way to be rescued couldn't seem to create a plausible scenario from there on. The look he'd given me at the end hadn't been that kind of shocked gaze.

Cassie's threat was too vivid. Instead of curling up on the ground where I'd fallen, I pulled myself back up and continued to stumble along in the direction I thought would eventually get me back to the road.

The washed-out landscape seemed to mock me as I realized just how alone I was. Rachel didn't like me anymore, she'd never forgive me. I'd managed to alienate everyone from Alec's group, and now Brandon had tossed me aside like so much trash.

It was too much. I collapsed onto all fours, hardly noticing the burning pain from my damaged palms, and let the wracking sobs take over.

I probably would've stayed there all night if not for the howling. It'd been going for several seconds before it pulled me back from the mental abyss I'd been so eagerly approaching.

I looked around blankly for several more heartbeats before I finally managed to place the noise. Wolves. There weren't supposed to be any wolves in the area, but there wasn't any ignoring my ears.

I numbly pulled myself back up, and began stumbling back towards the party, only to stop as another howl echoed down through the canyon.

It was between me and everyone else. I turned and started into a shuffling run. Maybe the wolf would be attracted to the noise and light. Maybe I'd be able to get far enough away it wouldn't smell me.

I'd only been moving for about a minute before another howl sent chills running down my spine. It sounded like a different wolf, and it was closer than the first one. I tried to run faster, but all that time studiously avoiding exercise was working against me. I topped a slight rise and then tripped as the ground wasn't where I expected it to be.

My jacket saved me from picking up any really serious scrapes this time, but just before I finished tumbling to a stop I slammed my head into a crescent-shaped rock. My vision swam in and out of focus, but I struggled to my feet, only to nearly fall again as my right ankle all but collapsed under me.

They were definitely closer now. They'd stopped howling, but I could still hear them.

I somehow found myself on my back again, looking up at the biggest wolf I'd ever seen. Somehow tv had given me the impression that a wolf shouldn't be much bigger than a German Shepard. These guys were roughly the size of a small pony, one nearly black, the other more of a gray color, both with yellowish eyes, and lips pulled back to show teeth the size of my fingers.

Most of my jeans had been torn away from my right calf, which was bleeding fairly profusely, but I didn't feel any pain. It was like my mind had finally torn loose from the moorings that usually held it in contact with reality. I was going to die, ripped to shreds by the same impossible animals that had killed the hikers a few months ago, but I just couldn't bring myself to care.

Nobody would even miss me.

The black wolf was inching towards me now, growling low in its throat. I could see its haunches tense up, and then it was airborne, hurtling towards me almost faster than I could follow.

Only it didn't hit me. A patch of night had somehow interposed itself between me and the wolf. My vision still wasn't up to making out fine details, and everything was moving too quickly to follow. The growling seemed to be in three parts now, which didn't make any sense because the patch of night was vaguely man-shaped, if impossibly big.

There was a yelp as one of the wolves was tossed into the side of the canyon with enough force that I could feel it from where I was laying. A shower of sparks lit up the night as the second wolf dodged away from my defender, and then impossibly the first wolf was back and darting in as I heard jaws snap shut on something.